★ Highly recommended by Professors Jeong Jae-seung and Cho Sun-mi ★
★ Amazon · New York Times Bestseller ★
★ Selected as 'Book of the Year' by National Public Radio (NPR) ★

Children who are insecure, lethargic, and self-absorbed
Why are there so many?

A painful reflection that began with a provocative question,
Debunking the myth of 'emotionally respectful parenting - affectionate parents'!

The generation that grew up under authoritarian parents vowed to raise their children differently.
I studied all kinds of coaching and parenting books, listened to my child, frequently asked about his feelings and thoughts, and took his opinion into consideration when making important decisions in the household, doing my best to take care of him with care.
As a result, our children are growing up as 'empty shell adults' who cannot do things on their own, from making friends to being on time for work, and who blame others for all their problems and only assert their own rights.
Why are our children, who grew up with unprecedented protection and care, becoming so insecure, helpless, and self-absorbed, "weak monsters"?

"Broken Children" starkly exposes the negative consequences that the illusion of "emotionally respectful parenting" and "affectionate parents," which have become the standard parenting methods of our time, have had on children's growth processes as well as society as a whole.
It delves into the current state of affairs in which parenting initiatives have been "outsourced" from parents to professionals, exposes the reality of psychotherapy and drug treatment being abused instead of firm discipline, and sharply points out the essence and principles of parenting for nurturing a strong individual.
This book, which has received rave reviews from numerous English-speaking scholars and influencers, has sparked heated debate around the world, prompting painful reflection from parents, and has been selected as one of the '2024 Books of the Year' by National Public Radio (NPR) as well as an Amazon and New York Times bestseller.

Unlike our parents' generation, we were determined to be parenting professionals who were sensitive to our children's emotional health.
I decided to be a parent who listens to my child, frequently asks about his or her feelings and thoughts, observes his or her mood, accepts his or her opinions when making important household decisions, and, if possible, anticipates and responds to his or her distress and concerns.
To do that, you have to become a parent who values ​​your 'relationship' with your child.
I wanted to break down the barriers of authority that past generations had built between parents and children, and become parents who view their children as team members, mentees, and friends.
Above all, we wanted to raise our children 'happily'.
--- "Author's Note.
From "Why Are Our Children Getting Sick?"

Affirming and empathizing with anxiety robs children of the opportunity to overcome difficult challenges and creates a child who "can't really do anything," says Ortiz.
Try forcing your child to sleep in a house filled with ordinary noises like a sibling snoring, the wind howling outside, or the creaking of floorboards.
Eventually, you will fall asleep.
More importantly, the child realizes that he or she can 'fall asleep' even in such an environment.
--- Chapter 3.
From "Ten Words That Deceive Us"

Why did making friends suddenly require the supervision and guidance of a school counselor? Kennair emphasized that interpersonal skills are inherently acquired through trial and error in real life.
The same goes for emotional regulation skills.
Let's say your child gets a bad grade on a test and starts throwing a tantrum and crying.
Your classmates will look at you strangely and avoid you.
Then, the child must either study harder for the next test or learn to manage his emotions by learning to deal with the disappointment of receiving a bad grade.
Emotional regulation skills aren't something you learn in a classroom, Kennair said.
The way to overcome the frustration of not making the baseball team is not through verbal lessons in the classroom, but through 'experiencing the experience of not making the baseball team firsthand.'
--- Chapter 4.
From "How Empathy and Consideration Spoil Children"

Every teacher I interviewed said that student tantrums and aggression, yelling at teachers, throwing things in the classroom, slamming doors, and sexual harassment had increased in the past decade.
The school's policy is that a significant part of the problem is that children don't seem to be able to control their own behavior.
In other words, the school believes that although it may not be an outdated viewpoint to expect self-control and self-discipline from students, it is excessive and therefore does not require it.
--- Chapter 5.
From "The Birth of Fragile Monsters"

I asked if treating every child as if they had experienced trauma might lead them to reconstruct their past, making it seem darker or more frightening than it actually was.
"that's right.
If you're rewarded with attention or recognition for telling a horrible story, then yes.
That's Skinner's basic concept. If someone says, 'I think I have a hidden trauma, but I can't remember it,' it's just boring and doesn't get any attention.
But imagine if the person next to you were telling a story about being abused in a Satanic ritual,” Loftus said. Children who participate in group therapy may “remember” things that never happened or exaggerate their memories of things that did happen to make them more dramatic.
A child who has recently experienced something 'really' tragic deserves more careful attention and consideration.
However, 'trauma-informed treatment' and 'trauma-informed education' begin treatment assuming that the child has been wounded.
So, naturally, the parliamentary disease effect is bound to follow.
--- 「Chapter 6.
From "The Kings of the Trauma Empire"

“I teach that only the student’s thoughts and feelings are important.
It's like saying there's no need to trust or respect adults.
Adults don't know better than you, and only your feelings are accurate.
So you're basically letting the young narcissists run wild and giving them a reason to attack each other."
--- 「Chapter 8.
From "The Emergence of the Child Narcissist"

These days, young people are reporting professors to their schools for not using new terms (the list is growing) to replace problematic language—for example, language perceived as offensive to a particular group or lacking political correctness.
They report their dissatisfied superiors' behavior to the HR department with the impulsive attitude of a vengeful prosecutor.
They are free from shyness, awkwardness, and self-reflection.
The next question we naturally ask is this:
Who raised these children?
--- 「Chapter 8.
From "The Emergence of the Child Narcissist"

Can you imagine your parents being at a loss in that situation? Can you imagine yourself, four or five years old, kicking, hitting, or biting them? You might think something like this.
'If I were your parents, I would have been beaten with a stick.' Or you might think something like this.
'But I was afraid of my parents.
I don't want children to be afraid of me.' Don't worry.
Kids these days are absolutely not afraid of their parents.
They think their parents are good people.
And they often look down on their parents.
The parenting coach mentioned above recommends telling your children:
“Honey, I know you’re upset because Mom gave you a blue cup instead of a green one (or because she told you to stop cleaning up that fort you worked so hard to build).
But next time you get angry, try clenching your fist or stamping your feet on the floor.
Or tell your mom what the problem is.
Then Mom will help you.” (...) Parents try to act like psychotherapists, not making moral judgments, not scolding their children for misbehaving, and acting as if they have no control over the situation.
--- 「Chapter 9.
From "Parents Who Lose Authority, Children Who Fall Apart"

We emailed the teacher begging him to look into the missing assignments, we implored the coach to let our child join the sports team he was eliminated from, and we emailed the principal threatening legal action if the coach didn't immediately admit our child to the team.
But when we took a step back and looked, a different picture appeared.
I saw a child who hit his friend and was not punished.
The child, who failed to correct his behavior, eventually began taking medication.
I also saw a child who couldn't concentrate in class because he was looking at his smartphone all morning.
The child was also a nuisance to other students.
We gave the child some medicine too.
'Reassurance' is the word most often used by gentle parents when they finally hear their child's diagnosis and receive a prescription from the doctor.
“I can’t tell you how relieved I am to know what the cause of the problem is,” many parents said.
--- Chapter 10.
From "Spare on discipline and give medicine"

It may not be only the parents' fault that they have forgotten humor these days.
There are many reasons why parenting books these days are poor, but the most annoying thing is that they are all so serious and lack humor.
These poorly written books make every moment we spend with our children heavy and serious.
It outlines parenting techniques to practice, situations to monitor, and problems to be aware of, and suggests that parents should feel guilty when they fail to do these things well.
It warns that inappropriate parental behavior can have serious consequences, making parenting a world filled with depression and stress.
--- Chapter 11.
From "The Courage to Step Back from a Child's Life"

The reason childhood exists is to make friends with unpredictable personalities, to lose at baseball games, to stand up to bullies, to fall down and pick yourself up, and to help your friends.
Taking a risk, trying something, getting hurt, trying and failing, and finally doing it.
Kids need this.
When we, the parents, were still living in the next room.
It's a happy childhood to spend time doing things like that.
It's like getting a little taste of all the pain of the adult world.
In doing so, children develop immunity to the toxicity of pain and loss.

--- 「Chapter 12.
"It builds immunity to life"