When I don't even know my own heart
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Description
Book Introduction
“Are you having a hard time because you have too many thoughts? “You can’t get rid of it, but you can control it.” From techniques to boost your self-esteem to ways to overcome glass mentality! Psychological counseling with Korea's first psychiatric doctors, brothers Yang Jae-jin and Yang Jae-woong. Korea's first psychiatric specialists, brothers Yang Jae-jin and Yang Jae-woong, share their special prescriptions! With many celebrities confessing to depression or panic disorder, the aversion to psychiatry has significantly improved compared to the past. But people are still reluctant to go to a psychiatrist for fear that their medical records will be detrimental. When we are sick, we rush to the hospital right away, but we ignore the invisible wounds in our hearts for a long time. Authors Yang Jae-jin and Yang Jae-woong, who are also creators of the YouTube channel [Yangbro's Mental World] produced by Sandbox Network, have started providing non-face-to-face mental counseling for those who lack the courage to seek counseling. The new book, "When I Don't Know My Own Mind," contains practical prescriptions for 40 of the most common concerns of modern people, based on stories from YouTube channels and cases from the psychological counseling app "Mind Cafe." The consultation, which proceeds as if you are having a direct conversation with two specialists, includes not only medical prescriptions but also warm words from a senior in life. “How can I like myself?” “I feel lonely when I’m alone and miserable when I’m with someone else” and other inner worries are addressed in detail, as well as various problems such as glass mentality, helplessness, anxiety disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder, excessive self-consciousness, need for control, and personality disorders, providing a broader perspective needed to live in the world. As you read the book, you may find yourself empathizing with the story, and the wounds buried deep in your heart may be reopened. But by the end of the book, you will surely be able to look at yourself and the world through different eyes. |
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index
PART 1
If I had been caught up in the world and had not been able to take care of myself
Chapter 1 [Self-Esteem] No One Can Ever Fill Me
I want to increase my self-esteem, but I don't know how.
I want to be recognized by others. Do I have low self-esteem?
I hate that I'm always being swayed by my parents' words.
I can't even say what I want to say to others, and I'm getting more and more depressed.
I keep seeing only my ugly parts
Learn More | Self-Esteem and Pride Are Different
#Excessive self-consciousness #False self #Need for recognition #Self-actualization #Narcissistic wounds #Emotional distance #Financial independence #Metacognition #Self-acceptance
Chapter 2 [Anxiety] It can't disappear, but it can be controlled
I want to love myself, through endless cycles of bulimia and dieting.
My obsessive-compulsive disorder is so severe that it makes daily life difficult.
I'm happy, but at the same time I'm so anxious I want to die
I feel short of breath when I ride public transportation. Could this be a panic disorder?
Once you get caught up in anxious thoughts, they grow out of control.
Learn More | The Difference Between Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality
#EatingDisorder #FacePicture #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #AnxietyDisorder #PanicDisorder #Phobia #LettingGoOfFixedThoughts #PuttingWorriesAway
Chapter 3 [Future] Worry, but don't despair.
I need to get a job, but I don't know what I want to do.
I have too much faith in fortune telling, tarot cards, and horoscopes.
I'm obsessed with health supplements because I'm afraid of death.
I have so many worries that my mind just won't stop thinking about them.
I'm afraid of getting married because I think I'll end up unhappy like my mom.
#LifeAssignment #ThePurposeofWork #Fatalism #ObsessedWithRepetition #Afterlife #FearofDeath #ThoughtCutting #EmotionalIndependence
Chapter 4 [Interest] It's human nature to want to be loved by everyone.
I'm afraid I might not be the prettiest person
I want to make my presence felt to people, but it's so hard.
I get so anxious when I don't get any attention. Is this a disease?
Every time I post on Instagram, people call me an artist.
I'm fine when I'm with others, but I get really depressed when I'm alone.
#HystericalPersonalityDisorder #Tolerance #AppearanceOrientation #MyColor #PruningIndividuality #Initiative #TimeAlone #Mannerism
PART 2
If you haven't found a balance between yourself and others,
Chapter 1 [Family] The Closer We Are, the More Objective We Should Be
Conflict with Dad, Can We Become Closer?
I lived holding back my anger because I didn't want to end up like my sister.
I want to die because my mom gaslights me
I can't get over my grief after my mother passed away.
I've lived my whole life hiding behind the word "eldest daughter"
Learn more | Child Abuse: Don't Hit Them Even with Flowers
#FamilyDistance #GettingRationalAngry #NeedForControl #MourningReaction #K-EldestDaughter #LeeInHwa #PostpartumDepression #Resilience
Chapter 2 [Friends] Wise Choices, Cut Off or Be Considerate
The school violence I experienced as a teenager is still so painful as an adult.
My friend copies everything about me, from my appearance to my actions.
After hearing my gossip, everything changed.
After the school violence, I thought everything was okay, but it's not okay at all.
I'm tired of pretending to be a good person in front of my friends.
#helplessness #self-loathing #borderline personality traits #organic anxiety #ventilation effect #mature adult #the made-up me #the value of attitude
Chapter 3 [Workplace] Don't Commit, Don't Run Away
I can't stay at one company for long.
If my boss quits, things will get harder. Should I quit with him?
I feel bad about myself because I get pointed out my mistakes so often.
How should I deal with a boss who scolds me even though I did nothing wrong?
I can't deal with the stress from my relationships and work in a healthy way.
Learn More | What Do Psychopaths and Sociopaths Look Like?
#TheMeaningofWork #Apathy #TheRoleofBoss #NonverbalMessages #TheBrain'sSafeguard #PassiveAggression #AntisocialPersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
Chapter 4 [Romance] You Shouldn't Love Me to the Point of Losing Me
Is it a problem if I express all my feelings?
How should I accept her ex-boyfriend?
My boyfriend is physically and mentally abusing me.
Does looking at your ex's social media help you get over the breakup?
I can't forget the bad guy
#Honeymoon #DatingViolence #ParanoidPersonalityDisorder #SalvationFantasies #AvoidantPersonality #SafeBreakUp #TheConclusionofRelationships
Appendix | Truths and Misconceptions Surrounding Psychiatry
If I had been caught up in the world and had not been able to take care of myself
Chapter 1 [Self-Esteem] No One Can Ever Fill Me
I want to increase my self-esteem, but I don't know how.
I want to be recognized by others. Do I have low self-esteem?
I hate that I'm always being swayed by my parents' words.
I can't even say what I want to say to others, and I'm getting more and more depressed.
I keep seeing only my ugly parts
Learn More | Self-Esteem and Pride Are Different
#Excessive self-consciousness #False self #Need for recognition #Self-actualization #Narcissistic wounds #Emotional distance #Financial independence #Metacognition #Self-acceptance
Chapter 2 [Anxiety] It can't disappear, but it can be controlled
I want to love myself, through endless cycles of bulimia and dieting.
My obsessive-compulsive disorder is so severe that it makes daily life difficult.
I'm happy, but at the same time I'm so anxious I want to die
I feel short of breath when I ride public transportation. Could this be a panic disorder?
Once you get caught up in anxious thoughts, they grow out of control.
Learn More | The Difference Between Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder and Obsessive-Compulsive Personality
#EatingDisorder #FacePicture #ObsessiveCompulsiveDisorder #AnxietyDisorder #PanicDisorder #Phobia #LettingGoOfFixedThoughts #PuttingWorriesAway
Chapter 3 [Future] Worry, but don't despair.
I need to get a job, but I don't know what I want to do.
I have too much faith in fortune telling, tarot cards, and horoscopes.
I'm obsessed with health supplements because I'm afraid of death.
I have so many worries that my mind just won't stop thinking about them.
I'm afraid of getting married because I think I'll end up unhappy like my mom.
#LifeAssignment #ThePurposeofWork #Fatalism #ObsessedWithRepetition #Afterlife #FearofDeath #ThoughtCutting #EmotionalIndependence
Chapter 4 [Interest] It's human nature to want to be loved by everyone.
I'm afraid I might not be the prettiest person
I want to make my presence felt to people, but it's so hard.
I get so anxious when I don't get any attention. Is this a disease?
Every time I post on Instagram, people call me an artist.
I'm fine when I'm with others, but I get really depressed when I'm alone.
#HystericalPersonalityDisorder #Tolerance #AppearanceOrientation #MyColor #PruningIndividuality #Initiative #TimeAlone #Mannerism
PART 2
If you haven't found a balance between yourself and others,
Chapter 1 [Family] The Closer We Are, the More Objective We Should Be
Conflict with Dad, Can We Become Closer?
I lived holding back my anger because I didn't want to end up like my sister.
I want to die because my mom gaslights me
I can't get over my grief after my mother passed away.
I've lived my whole life hiding behind the word "eldest daughter"
Learn more | Child Abuse: Don't Hit Them Even with Flowers
#FamilyDistance #GettingRationalAngry #NeedForControl #MourningReaction #K-EldestDaughter #LeeInHwa #PostpartumDepression #Resilience
Chapter 2 [Friends] Wise Choices, Cut Off or Be Considerate
The school violence I experienced as a teenager is still so painful as an adult.
My friend copies everything about me, from my appearance to my actions.
After hearing my gossip, everything changed.
After the school violence, I thought everything was okay, but it's not okay at all.
I'm tired of pretending to be a good person in front of my friends.
#helplessness #self-loathing #borderline personality traits #organic anxiety #ventilation effect #mature adult #the made-up me #the value of attitude
Chapter 3 [Workplace] Don't Commit, Don't Run Away
I can't stay at one company for long.
If my boss quits, things will get harder. Should I quit with him?
I feel bad about myself because I get pointed out my mistakes so often.
How should I deal with a boss who scolds me even though I did nothing wrong?
I can't deal with the stress from my relationships and work in a healthy way.
Learn More | What Do Psychopaths and Sociopaths Look Like?
#TheMeaningofWork #Apathy #TheRoleofBoss #NonverbalMessages #TheBrain'sSafeguard #PassiveAggression #AntisocialPersonalityDisorder #NarcissisticPersonalityDisorder
Chapter 4 [Romance] You Shouldn't Love Me to the Point of Losing Me
Is it a problem if I express all my feelings?
How should I accept her ex-boyfriend?
My boyfriend is physically and mentally abusing me.
Does looking at your ex's social media help you get over the breakup?
I can't forget the bad guy
#Honeymoon #DatingViolence #ParanoidPersonalityDisorder #SalvationFantasies #AvoidantPersonality #SafeBreakUp #TheConclusionofRelationships
Appendix | Truths and Misconceptions Surrounding Psychiatry
Detailed image
Into the book
Self-esteem is 'who I think I am'.
A state in which one is able to remain emotionally unshakable no matter what others say about one, or even if they belittle one, is said to be having high self-esteem.
--- p.15, from “I want to raise my self-esteem, but I don’t know how”
In order to maintain an appropriate emotional distance from one's family, independence from the family, especially from one's parents, must come first.
Independence can be divided into physical independence, mental independence, and economic independence, but the most important of these is economic independence.
--- p.27, from “I hate that I am always swayed by my parents’ words”
People who don't love me worry a lot about whether I'm worthy of being loved by others.
We always set our standards on others and worry about our qualifications.
In this case, if I exclude others, I will disappear too.
--- p.46, from “I Want to Love Myself: The Endless Cycle of Bulimia and Dieting”
As Einstein said, “It is madness to expect tomorrow to be different from today while living today as yesterday.” Even through the smallest change, you can find happiness in this moment and welcome a tomorrow that is better than today.
--- p.78, from “I need to get a job, but I don’t know what I want to do”
Start practicing putting aside what other people think of you and thinking about how you feel first.
In other words, try practicing 'not thinking' a little bit about what people think.
--- p.109, from “I want to show my presence to people, but it’s so difficult.”
Anger is also an emotion that must be conveyed to others as needed.
There is a clear difference between expressing anger and actually getting angry.
If you have been hiding your anger until now, you should start practicing expressing it rationally rather than emotionally.
--- p.131, from “I lived holding back my anger because I didn’t want to end up like my sister.”
Gaslighting is the act of manipulating someone else's psychology or situation to make them doubt themselves and lose their self-confidence.
Ultimately, it's about strengthening your control over others by making them lose their sense of reality and their ability to judge.
--- p.134, from “I Want to Die Because My Mom Gaslights Me”
On the outside, they appear normal and peaceful, but if you dig deeper, you'll find that there are families where someone is constantly making sacrifices.
And that role is mostly taken up by the mother or the eldest daughter.
--- p.145, from “I hid myself from the word ‘eldest daughter’ my whole life”
People with low self-esteem tend to take people who like them lightly.
Because I don't like myself, I devalue those who like me just as much.
A state in which one is able to remain emotionally unshakable no matter what others say about one, or even if they belittle one, is said to be having high self-esteem.
--- p.15, from “I want to raise my self-esteem, but I don’t know how”
In order to maintain an appropriate emotional distance from one's family, independence from the family, especially from one's parents, must come first.
Independence can be divided into physical independence, mental independence, and economic independence, but the most important of these is economic independence.
--- p.27, from “I hate that I am always swayed by my parents’ words”
People who don't love me worry a lot about whether I'm worthy of being loved by others.
We always set our standards on others and worry about our qualifications.
In this case, if I exclude others, I will disappear too.
--- p.46, from “I Want to Love Myself: The Endless Cycle of Bulimia and Dieting”
As Einstein said, “It is madness to expect tomorrow to be different from today while living today as yesterday.” Even through the smallest change, you can find happiness in this moment and welcome a tomorrow that is better than today.
--- p.78, from “I need to get a job, but I don’t know what I want to do”
Start practicing putting aside what other people think of you and thinking about how you feel first.
In other words, try practicing 'not thinking' a little bit about what people think.
--- p.109, from “I want to show my presence to people, but it’s so difficult.”
Anger is also an emotion that must be conveyed to others as needed.
There is a clear difference between expressing anger and actually getting angry.
If you have been hiding your anger until now, you should start practicing expressing it rationally rather than emotionally.
--- p.131, from “I lived holding back my anger because I didn’t want to end up like my sister.”
Gaslighting is the act of manipulating someone else's psychology or situation to make them doubt themselves and lose their self-confidence.
Ultimately, it's about strengthening your control over others by making them lose their sense of reality and their ability to judge.
--- p.134, from “I Want to Die Because My Mom Gaslights Me”
On the outside, they appear normal and peaceful, but if you dig deeper, you'll find that there are families where someone is constantly making sacrifices.
And that role is mostly taken up by the mother or the eldest daughter.
--- p.145, from “I hid myself from the word ‘eldest daughter’ my whole life”
People with low self-esteem tend to take people who like them lightly.
Because I don't like myself, I devalue those who like me just as much.
--- p.208, from “Is it a problem to express all of my feelings?”
Publisher's Review
“I want to get counseling, but I don’t have the courage.” “Don’t be hurt alone.
“Please tell me what’s on your mind”
Self-esteem, anxiety, future, interests, family, friends, work, relationships…
8 Problems That Hurt Me and Their Solutions
★ Realistic advice from YouTube's [Yangbro's Mental World], which has resonated with 140,000 people.
★ Includes case studies from "Mind Cafe," a counseling center for 900,000 people.
Unfulfilled self-esteem, unexplained anxiety, and a broken mentality
“Am I overthinking? Am I worrying too much?”
Yangbro's Counseling Center for the Sensitive You
【Self-esteem】 It seems like everyone in the world is happy except for me, but there are so many people who have the same worries as me.
In particular, as the word 'self-esteem' has become the main keyword to describe myself, the number of people who blame themselves for being obsessed with the evaluation of others is increasing.
The author emphasizes that self-esteem should not be confused with confidence.
Ironically, even countries with low self-esteem can have high self-esteem because they acknowledge that it is okay.
【Anxiety】There are quite a few people who suffer from mental distress due to ‘anxiety.’
Especially in the case of generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety is felt in all situations to the point where normal daily life is impossible.
To treat this, we must first understand how the brain works.
Anxiety is caused by over-arousal of the amygdala in the brain, and can be reduced by stimulating the frontal lobe through activities such as exercise that involve planning, executing, and achieving things on your own, and that provide feedback.
This is the most necessary solution for those who blame their mental illness on their own will and blame themselves.
【Future】Why do I lose sleep worrying about a "future" that hasn't even arrived yet? When the brain lacks information, it fills the gap with imagination.
If you continue to have ruminating thoughts, especially negative ones, at times like this, you may suspect depression.
The more you try not to worry, the more it grows, and eventually you end up worrying about things that you worry about too much.
To do this, you must know how to boldly cut off your thoughts the moment they start to spread.
At this time, the method is to stimulate the frontal lobe, which is the rational brain.
【Interest】 Among the inner conflicts, there are also problems that must be resolved on one's own while being related to others.
This is when you are thirsty for 'attention' from others and are overly concerned about other people's reactions.
Becoming the master of my life begins with choosing my own emotions.
By starting to practice not thinking about what other people think, I need to listen to what I want within myself.
A listless work life, conflict in unresolved relationships
“How long will I have to be the only one hurt?”
How to Use Relationships for Those of You Who Are Tired of Suffering Alone
【Family】 It's only once or twice that I promise to take care of myself and not get hurt, but relationships are still a difficult issue.
In particular, there are many cases where one is unable to do anything because of the idea that 'family' is an unchanging relationship.
However, the author says that family is the relationship that requires emotional distance to protect me.
We help families find the root cause of their concerns by offering realistic advice, such as advising them that they don't necessarily need to see each other face-to-face, or that if their parents are financially supporting them, they can demand a share in their lives.
【Friends】 Conflicts between 'friends' are a serious problem that can lead to social crimes, including school violence.
Especially during adolescence, friends take over the influence that parents once had, so school violence and bullying during this time remain as psychological trauma even after becoming adults.
Even I, who suppressed myself in the past, still remain as a child inside me even after becoming an adult, hindering my growth as a human being.
Acknowledging my feelings is the first step to recovery.
【Workplace】 As it is said that the biggest reason for office workers to change jobs or quit is interpersonal relationships, relationships with colleagues and superiors at work are also a major challenge.
Closing off the relationship altogether because you are upset or changing the physical environment by changing jobs is not a fundamental solution.
The best solution I can start with is to objectively understand my own and the other person's tendencies and figure out what is causing the conflict.
【Romance】 The relationship formed through 'romance' is a major factor in determining my future after leaving parental care.
Because they are so close emotionally, when conflict arises, it can cause great mental pain, and especially when it leads to crimes such as violence, it can shake up one's life.
Don't forget that who you date is the standard by which you judge your own worth, and you must make an effort to stand up for yourself before loving someone.
Remember that someone who doesn't love you can't accept that someone loves you, and you need to find the answer to all relationships, including romantic ones, within yourself.
“Please tell me what’s on your mind”
Self-esteem, anxiety, future, interests, family, friends, work, relationships…
8 Problems That Hurt Me and Their Solutions
★ Realistic advice from YouTube's [Yangbro's Mental World], which has resonated with 140,000 people.
★ Includes case studies from "Mind Cafe," a counseling center for 900,000 people.
Unfulfilled self-esteem, unexplained anxiety, and a broken mentality
“Am I overthinking? Am I worrying too much?”
Yangbro's Counseling Center for the Sensitive You
【Self-esteem】 It seems like everyone in the world is happy except for me, but there are so many people who have the same worries as me.
In particular, as the word 'self-esteem' has become the main keyword to describe myself, the number of people who blame themselves for being obsessed with the evaluation of others is increasing.
The author emphasizes that self-esteem should not be confused with confidence.
Ironically, even countries with low self-esteem can have high self-esteem because they acknowledge that it is okay.
【Anxiety】There are quite a few people who suffer from mental distress due to ‘anxiety.’
Especially in the case of generalized anxiety disorder, anxiety is felt in all situations to the point where normal daily life is impossible.
To treat this, we must first understand how the brain works.
Anxiety is caused by over-arousal of the amygdala in the brain, and can be reduced by stimulating the frontal lobe through activities such as exercise that involve planning, executing, and achieving things on your own, and that provide feedback.
This is the most necessary solution for those who blame their mental illness on their own will and blame themselves.
【Future】Why do I lose sleep worrying about a "future" that hasn't even arrived yet? When the brain lacks information, it fills the gap with imagination.
If you continue to have ruminating thoughts, especially negative ones, at times like this, you may suspect depression.
The more you try not to worry, the more it grows, and eventually you end up worrying about things that you worry about too much.
To do this, you must know how to boldly cut off your thoughts the moment they start to spread.
At this time, the method is to stimulate the frontal lobe, which is the rational brain.
【Interest】 Among the inner conflicts, there are also problems that must be resolved on one's own while being related to others.
This is when you are thirsty for 'attention' from others and are overly concerned about other people's reactions.
Becoming the master of my life begins with choosing my own emotions.
By starting to practice not thinking about what other people think, I need to listen to what I want within myself.
A listless work life, conflict in unresolved relationships
“How long will I have to be the only one hurt?”
How to Use Relationships for Those of You Who Are Tired of Suffering Alone
【Family】 It's only once or twice that I promise to take care of myself and not get hurt, but relationships are still a difficult issue.
In particular, there are many cases where one is unable to do anything because of the idea that 'family' is an unchanging relationship.
However, the author says that family is the relationship that requires emotional distance to protect me.
We help families find the root cause of their concerns by offering realistic advice, such as advising them that they don't necessarily need to see each other face-to-face, or that if their parents are financially supporting them, they can demand a share in their lives.
【Friends】 Conflicts between 'friends' are a serious problem that can lead to social crimes, including school violence.
Especially during adolescence, friends take over the influence that parents once had, so school violence and bullying during this time remain as psychological trauma even after becoming adults.
Even I, who suppressed myself in the past, still remain as a child inside me even after becoming an adult, hindering my growth as a human being.
Acknowledging my feelings is the first step to recovery.
【Workplace】 As it is said that the biggest reason for office workers to change jobs or quit is interpersonal relationships, relationships with colleagues and superiors at work are also a major challenge.
Closing off the relationship altogether because you are upset or changing the physical environment by changing jobs is not a fundamental solution.
The best solution I can start with is to objectively understand my own and the other person's tendencies and figure out what is causing the conflict.
【Romance】 The relationship formed through 'romance' is a major factor in determining my future after leaving parental care.
Because they are so close emotionally, when conflict arises, it can cause great mental pain, and especially when it leads to crimes such as violence, it can shake up one's life.
Don't forget that who you date is the standard by which you judge your own worth, and you must make an effort to stand up for yourself before loving someone.
Remember that someone who doesn't love you can't accept that someone loves you, and you need to find the answer to all relationships, including romantic ones, within yourself.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: May 12, 2021
- Page count, weight, size: 240 pages | 324g | 140*200*14mm
- ISBN13: 9788950994761
- ISBN10: 8950994763
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