The one question that can change your life: “How are you feeling right now?”
In this age of chaos, the art of expressing emotions that will help you manage your unstable emotions and bring happiness and success!

The mental health of modern people today is at a serious level.
In an increasingly harsh reality, coupled with the spread of COVID-19 in 2020, the number of people complaining of severe depression and pain is increasing.
Words like 'anxiety disorder' and 'intermittent explosive disorder' are used in everyday speech, and related crimes are not uncommon in the news.
The lack of empathy and other acts of violence against the socially vulnerable are becoming a global problem.


The belief that subjective emotions can be suppressed and controlled by the power of objective reason no longer holds true.
Emotions are a natural part of human nature and something we must accept, understand, and regulate as they are.
Based on this perspective, Professor Mark Brackett, director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence, who has been researching emotions and emotional intelligence for over 20 years, says this in his first book, “Discovering Emotions.”
“We are now facing a huge crisis.
And the biggest victims may be our children.”

In this book, the author candidly confesses to having suffered severe bullying and sexual abuse as a child.
He says that if his 'savior', Uncle Marvin, had not asked him, "Mark, how are you feeling?" and had not listened with 'empathy' and 'listening' to what he was feeling, his life might have been terrible.
He says that because someone truly listened to his honest story, he was able to accept, express, and manage his emotions as they are, and that he himself is a living proof of how important 'emotional training' is.

Looking at our society today, it seems like we're spending more money and effort on dealing with the consequences of emotional problems than on preventing them.
I am personally interested in the negative consequences that occur when we suppress our emotions.
I too had similar issues, but I was able to recover thanks to the people who cared for me.
(……) Only a very small number of people with innate insight can handle emotions in the way presented in this book without separate learning.
I, who couldn't do that, had to work hard to learn.
This is literally a 'technology'.
Whether you're extroverted or introverted, romantic or practical, sensitive or easygoing, you can use the same techniques regardless of your personality type, and they can even change your life.
This technique has been proven to be simple, clear, and applicable to almost all age groups.
--- p.9~10, from the preface

If a generation of children could grow into emotionally capable adults, it would change the entire culture and create a better society.
However, learning emotional skills and improving how you respond to emotions won't lead to a happy everyday life overnight.
Eternal happiness is not a goal we pursue, nor is it achievable.
What we need is the ability to live better lives, make wise decisions, form meaningful relationships, and realize our potential.
To develop this ability, you must be able to experience and express all emotions, both pleasant and unpleasant, at will.
--- p.36, from “Chapter 1: Expressing Emotions”

Some people see talking about emotional intelligence or skills for managing emotions as being too vague and sentimental, or just escapism.
This is especially true from the perspective of the business world.
But the truth is quite the opposite.
Emotional intelligence leads to wise and creative thinking, helping you and those around you achieve better results.
There is no sentimentality at all.
Rather than letting emotions get in the way of your work, they actually do the opposite.
Emotional intelligence supports balanced thinking, prevents emotions from undue influence on behavior, and helps us recognize that there are reasons why we feel a certain way.
--- p.84, from “Chapter 3: How to Become an Emotional Scientist”

As you strive to become an emotional scientist, you must avoid the temptation to play the role of emotional judge.
Both emotion scientists and judges seek to recognize emotions and their sources and to predict how emotions will influence thoughts and behavior.
But emotional scientists don't make value judgments.
It doesn't even offer an opinion on whether any emotion is right, beneficial, or reflects objective reality.
He has only curiosity and a desire to listen and learn.
Emotional judges seek something else.
He evaluates his feelings (even his own, even though we are not immune to harsh self-judgment)—whether they are right or wrong, beneficial or harmful, realistic or imaginary.
Emotional judges seek the power to acknowledge or deny emotions, that is, the power to pass judgment.
--- p.94, from “Chapter 3: How to Become an Emotional Scientist”

The starting point of all this drama is just one word.
"Why?" Why do I feel this way? Why now? Understanding emotions begins with answering such questions.
Why do I feel this way? What's the underlying reason for this emotion? What makes me feel this way? These are not simple questions at all.
This is because one emotion can trigger another, and events and memories are intricately intertwined.
Usually, asking one question leads to more questions and allows you to dig deeper.
It's like peeling an onion.
It's natural to be afraid because once you start asking questions, there's no turning back.
Understanding emotions is like a journey.
It could be an adventure.
By the end of your journey, you will have arrived in a new and unexpected place, somewhere you never thought you would go.
And we will be wiser than before, no, wiser than we wish.
There is no other way to move forward.
--- p.131~132, from “Chapter 5 Understanding Emotions”

Looking back, I realize that at the heart of all the trauma I experienced as a child was the feeling that I couldn't express my emotions.
If I had confided in my parents the terrible fear, anxiety, and shame I was feeling, they would have discovered the source of those destructive emotions.
I endured sexual abuse without telling anyone and was bullied at school every day.
I wasn't just hiding my feelings.
Even the cause that caused such feelings was hidden.
Today, stories are often told of people—women, men, and children—who have suffered sexual abuse or harassment but have refused to speak out or identify their perpetrators.
It's obvious why they did that.
This is because many people believe that if they speak out about such things, they will feel shame or guilt, making it even more difficult to endure.
Sometimes people are reluctant to come forward because they feel no one will believe them or because they fear that the abuser will retaliate.
But if you can't express these feelings, the pain will continue unabated.
Silence is as damaging as assault.
--- p.179, from “Chapter 7 Expressing Emotions”

Allowing ourselves to express our emotions doesn't mean obsessing over every moment someone treats us badly or ignores us.
In fact, the opposite is true.
It's about overcoming those moments, learning from those experiences, and developing the strength to continue living a normal life.
Emotional intelligence provides a defense against anger, bullying, isolation, anxiety, and fear, which are especially prevalent among young people.
It also removes persistent obstacles that hinder creativity, interpersonal relationships, decision-making, and health.
--- p.247, from “Chapter 9 Emotions at Home”

Today's best employees will be drawn to companies that recognize the power of emotions to create a positive and productive environment.
They will leave their bad jobs behind, leaving behind miserable colleagues who are unwilling or unable to find another job for whatever reason.
Taking this into account, companies must take the cultivation of emotional capabilities seriously.

--- p.347, from “Chapter 11 Emotions at Work”