When you turn forty, your job security becomes unstable.
Save the women who work hard in the workplace around the world!

Author Dahye Lee's "Perceived Retirement Age" Renewal Project

Speaking, writing, and networking for women in the workplace
Now, more sophisticated weapons are loaded!

- The first book women who want to climb higher should read
- This book and the confident voice and tone of speech, that's perfect.

Da-Hye Lee, a writer who never stops speaking and writing about women's rights and life.
"Commuting Spells" is a new work by author Dahye Lee, written for working women. It is filled with insightful comments on society and relatable sentences that echo her work in books and broadcasts.
The author prepared this book by listening to the stories she experienced over 20 years of social life and the concerns of countless women she met in the workplace.
Beyond discussing a society that is tilted (in a way that is unfavorable to women), it is full of speaking, writing, and networking methods that can be applied in real life (workplace).

The 'perceived retirement age' of Korean women is different from that of men or from what society says about retirement age.
Many women say that the countdown to their "effective retirement age" begins around their mid-to-late 30s, the moment they get married and have children.
(There are also statistical survey results that show that women's perceived retirement age is actually shorter than men's.) For women who worry about 'how long can I work', who have made efforts in their own way because they don't want to be pushed out by men's networking, and who work hard but have vague feelings of anxiety, this book gives them more sophisticated weapons called 'speech, writing, and networking' and awakens their fighting spirit.
Armed with concrete methods you can put into practice right away, this book will help you confidently head to work tomorrow.

* Detailed structure of this book

Part 1 discusses how women should use their 'speech and writing' in the workplace, where they are easily criticized, and what speech and writing habits are necessary for women to express and achieve what they want.
Rather than simply providing advice on worldly matters, there are many anecdotes of experience told through the sharp and humorous wit of author Dahye Lee.
Part 2 talks about ‘human relationships’ in social life.
I discovered what it means to network with women who create new opportunities and help me in times of crisis.
In Part 3, we discuss how women can move to better jobs and work longer and healthier in a social structure that still disadvantages them.
Additionally, the appendix contains a separate section for freelancers, containing practical information such as the 10 Commandments for those who work (or want to work) alone.

Does a woman's place belong only to women? No.
Eventually, they will all be replaced by the next generation, but I hope that the next generation of women will one day be working at our age and not have to ask, "Am I too old to be working as a woman?"
I know that people who are one year older, two years older, have worked hard, been recognized for their abilities, and maintained their positions, and that's how we got here.
(Omitted) Even if there is just one person in front of you, even if there is just one person in sight, it helps you choose that path.
When I started working, there were very few women who stayed in organizations until they were in their 40s without getting married, but now that number is increasing.
In every company, the number of older women rising to management and executive positions is increasing, and the number of women who marry but do not have children, as well as women who remain unmarried, is also increasing.
A woman's place is not fixed.

--- p.9~10

The same goes for speaking.
This is a private and public expression at the same time.
They want to persuade and be understood.
And you soon learn that if you write and say exactly what you want, you will fail to persuade and be understood.
To put it bluntly, if you write properly, everything will work out? If so, feminism would have already succeeded and become a forgotten name.
In reality, the more honest you are, the lonelier you become.
If you actually write and speak, you may be surprised to find that your thoughts on the specifics of feminism differ from those around you.
So speaking and writing training is necessary.
To identify differences and confirm common goals.
We can't fight or join forces with what's in each other's heads.

--- p.15~16

I think one of the reasons women need to learn to express themselves clearly is so they don't feel wronged.
I hope you don't pile up 'requests that were hinted at but not fulfilled'.
I would like you to be clear about what you want.
Since we are connected, since that person is smart, let's not assume that if we treat them well, they will treat us well, and then be disappointed by giving them too much.
Even if you don't know what you want, if you speak and write clearly, what was vaguely in your heart will become clear.
That's where it all begins.
To value myself more as a woman.
Let me make my words heard.
Put your doubts aside.

--- p.17

Women tend to feel asked to fill in silences even when they are not asked to do so.
The call to 'soften the atmosphere' is particularly focused on the most junior women in the organization.
Even random comments like “Don’t you like soft girls?” can happen at times like this.
If you are like that, please show us a soft taste.


When someone brought up something like that, the women present, regardless of age, instantly became quiet.
Instead of protesting, everyone was silent, and the person who spoke up laughed in embarrassment, and no one else laughed along.
Later, when the place was cleared and he said with a laugh, “I’m too scared to speak,” I said, “It seems like you weren’t that scared when you said that. Why are you so scared that you can’t speak?” and laughed.
Then the man became quiet.
I know.
Later, when I went to my company and home, I would have said it again.
And someone would have responded by singing “Women these days” from verse 1 to verse 4.
But not in front of me.

--- p.43-44

For me, there are at least a lot of people I 'know' and 'people I used to know'.
I completely lost contact with many female colleagues who quit their jobs because of pregnancy, childbirth, or childcare.
I thought it was because I wasn't married, but even married people don't contact each other after they quit their jobs.
Men meet people at school or in society and they are still in society 10, 20, or 30 years later, and they even rise in the ranks, while women quit their jobs or leave their companies.
There are many cases where people cannot survive in an organization once they reach a certain age.
After that, I gradually lost contact with people I knew.
There are even rumors that he went into the mountains.
A tilted playground tilts more and more as you get older.
Even if you grew up without discrimination at home and were recognized for your grades without discrimination at school, things change as you enter society.

--- p.145~146

The more I read about the mask phenomenon, the more I realized that even those who have achieved success with seemingly unquestionable abilities are not free from this mentality.
And it's also an emotional state that women often experience because being recognized and standing out in front of others wasn't something that came naturally to them during their upbringing.
There were times when I worked hard but didn't get recognized, and when I started getting recognized, instead of happily welcoming my success, I felt fear.
'The world is starting to acknowledge me.
Anyone who has the mindset of, 'You must know my true value more!' will not experience such pain.
Only those who look back with a fearful heart wondering why recognition that was not given before is now being given, are struggling in this quagmire.
(Omitted) I will try to keep this one thing in mind.
The good opportunities I get are the result of my past performance (not my future performance).
My past self worked hard to become who I am today, and if my present self is not afraid, my future self will have better opportunities.
If there is anyone I should be grateful to in the present, it is my past self.
Future me, be grateful to present me.

--- p.207~208

If you can't distinguish between these 'other' things, you'll get angry when you should be resting, feel anxious about things you don't need to be anxious about, and try to trample on the other person's knowledge when you should be researching and thinking.
If I experience any sudden emotions, I need to figure out exactly what they are.
When I need to be angry, I need to be angry, and if anyone dismisses my anger as "womanly whining," I need to resist that perception.
When I'm tired in the afternoon and everything feels like a chore, I sometimes just drink a glass of water and think, "That was just because I was thirsty." Or, when I go shopping and feel bored and distracted, I regret it and think, "I should have just gone for a walk."
To experience good things as good and to properly solve problems, we need to distinguish between these seemingly similar but different emotions.
It also has to do with the country's understanding of the human body and mind.

--- p.247~248