Don't compare with yesterday and don't guess about tomorrow.
From how to sleep well to how to maintain good relationships
A 16-Step Mental Muscle Training Guided by a Clinical Psychologist

- Recommended by Professor of Psychiatry at Samsung Seoul Hospital and Professor of Psychology at Ewha Womans University!

According to a survey by the Ministry of Health and Welfare, one in four adults experiences mental health problems at least once in their lifetime, and in 2021, 930,000 people in Korea experienced depression and 860,000 people experienced anxiety disorders.


Depression and anxiety come in many forms.
Looking back on the past and blaming yourself for not doing that, imagining the worst-case scenario and getting anxious and worried, etc…
All of these behaviors, which I thought were just sensitive and thoughtful, are actually signs of depression and anxiety.
However, many people do not know whether they are depressed or anxious and leave it alone.
This is because depression and anxiety are complex emotions that are a mixture of many unpleasant feelings.
In other words, depression and anxiety come as the most common emotions we feel in our daily lives.
In other words, understanding depression and anxiety can help you manage the various negative emotions inherent within them.


The author of this book, a clinical psychologist and psychological counselor, explains why depression and anxiety must be addressed, saying, “More than 90% of the complaints of people who come to counseling centers are explained by depression and anxiety.”
The solution to depression and anxiety presented in this book is to focus on the present.
This is because depression mainly arises from ruminating on the past, and anxiety mainly arises from worrying about the future.
He also says that the first step to alleviating depression and anxiety is to know whether you are depressed or anxious, and shows the various forms of depression and anxiety through examples from actual clients.
Next, we'll introduce five easy-to-implement depression management strategies and four anxiety management strategies, and finally, we'll walk you through a 16-step, sequential process for building your mental muscle—the ability to focus on the present.


As you develop your mental muscles, your thoughts and actions will change, making your life more flexible.
There are three key points to this process.
The first is to take care of myself.
Just eat well, sleep well, and move as much as you can once a day.
Because the health of the body also affects the mind.
The second is to have an attitude of accepting the situation as it is.
In particular, we need to practice thinking about what we can do now, knowing that we cannot control everything.
The third is to sort out the relationship.
Good relationships come from a reasonable distance.
A healthy relationship can be built when you respect your own and the other person's boundaries.


The actual clients who come to counseling centers with work-related issues, interpersonal relationships, parenting stress, employment issues, and financial problems may be ourselves, unaware of whether we are depressed or anxious.
If I recognize the problems in my heart and strengthen my mental muscles, I will be able to focus on what I can do now and stand firmly in the present without being swayed by the past or the future.

Whether it's six, eight, or 27 emotions, there are so many, so why focus on depression and anxiety? It's because depression and anxiety have the potential to develop into mental disorders.
This means that emotions that we experience naturally can develop into mental illnesses that cause us distress and disrupt our ability to function in everyday life.
---From "The Most Common and Dangerous Emotions: Depression and Anxiety"

I can only change myself.
But changing myself is the starting point for everything to change.
When I change, the dynamics of the people around me who treat me naturally change.
If I change my perspective on my difficult past, I gain the power to change the present.
My change will soon create a change in everything.
---From "The Ability to Change Me, the Muscle of the Heart"

The core of depression is rumination.
Rumination is thinking about negative events and the emotions associated with them, or dwelling on negative thoughts and feelings.
People who use rumination as a coping mechanism in uncertain situations are more likely to experience depression.
We experience depression because we recall and reflect on past experiences and predict a future that has not yet occurred based on negative events.
The reason we use rumination in uncertain situations is because it allows us to temporarily avoid negative emotions.
However, if you ruminate too much, you will perceive the situation you were trying to avoid more negatively, which will eventually lead to helplessness and depression.
---From "'The Heart that Revisits the Unchangeable Past, Depression'"

Most people don't go to a counseling center when they have emotional difficulties.
Each of us tries our best to solve our own difficulties in our own places, and sometimes we read books to get help.
So I'm going to talk about ways that people who don't come to a counseling center can recover on their own.
Now, I will introduce some methods that are known to be effective in treating depression.
These are coping methods that I have shared in the counseling room with clients who are actually struggling with depression.
Let's assume that you have come to a counseling center complaining of depression and tell a vivid story.
Depression was a state of mind where the mind was stuck in the past and ruminating on it, something that could not be changed.
To get out of depression, you have to force your mind to stay in the present.
---From "'Depression Recovery Methods You Can Try Right Away'"

At the heart of anxiety is worry.
Worry is the tendency to think about events that will happen in the future rather than in the past.
We use worry as a coping mechanism to avoid anticipated threats and negative emotions in uncertain situations.
This is because we mistakenly believe that worrying reduces the likelihood of negative events occurring, and that worrying will lead us to better solutions.
But worrying only creates and amplifies problems.
Because worry breeds more worry and increases anxiety.
If you dwell on the future like this, you will become anxious, and anxiety will only increase anxiety.
---From "'Anxiety, the worry about a future that has not yet arrived'"

People often understand anxiety as just a personality trait.
Anxiety is often neglected and not considered a serious problem.
Eventually, with anxiety that has grown uncontrollable, they seek out hospitals or counseling centers.
But if I recognize and manage my anxiety now, I can recover.
Anxiety was a state of mind that was stuck in a future that had not yet arrived, constantly worrying and controlling.
To escape from anxiety, you must stay in the present.
---From "Anxiety Recovery Methods You Can Try Right Away"

To develop your mental muscle, you must train your mind to stay in the present.
As we've been saying, depression is about a mind stuck in the past, and anxiety is about a mind wandering into the future.
Our goal is to focus on the present, not the past or the future.
Being present means focusing on the here and now.
It's about focusing on what you can do now, not on the past you can't change or the future you can't control.
And this is the only way to change yourself.

---From "The Power of Focusing on Today, the Muscle of the Mind"