Love Class
 |
Description
Book Introduction
- A word from MD
-
Self-esteem comes from relationships with others.A new book by Hong-gyun Yoon, author of "Self-Esteem Class," published after four years.
Self-esteem and love are a pair.
Only by being able to love others can I affirm myself.
Psychological explanations of affection deprivation, attachment styles, defense mechanisms, and separation syndrome enrich our lives.
December 22, 2020. Humanities PD Son Min-gyu
Hong-gyun Yoon, author of "Self-Esteem Class," releases a new book after four years.
Yoon Hong-gyun's Second Prescription for the Heart, Chosen by 1 Million Readers
From encounters and breakups to healing wounds, "Love that boosts self-esteem!"
The second book, “Love Class,” by Hong-Kyun Yoon, author of “Self-Esteem Class,” which was published in 2016 and sparked a “self-esteem craze” in Korea, has been published.
This is a new work that has been a full four years since the first book. While 『Self-Esteem Class』 dealt with how to love 'myself', 『Love Class』 focuses on resolving the conflicts, pain, and wounds that arise in spectacular human relationships by dealing with how to love 'both myself and others'.
It provides a psychological safety net and answers the questions of those who wonder, “Why is my life so messed up?” or “Why is my love so difficult?”
The author says, “No matter how much you raise your self-esteem, if love breaks down, it will crumble in an instant.
“Self-esteem is important, but the key to it is love,” he said, noting the influence, role, and importance of the experience of love given and received in various relationships on an individual’s life.
This book guides us on the path to subjective love that does not lose us by informing us of the influence that our personal temperament, habits, and attachment styles, which are revealed when we love or form relationships, have on our relationships.
It also provides warm comfort to those suffering from the pain of love and those wandering after a breakup, and gives them the courage to walk out of their pain and start again.
Yoon Hong-gyun's Second Prescription for the Heart, Chosen by 1 Million Readers
From encounters and breakups to healing wounds, "Love that boosts self-esteem!"
The second book, “Love Class,” by Hong-Kyun Yoon, author of “Self-Esteem Class,” which was published in 2016 and sparked a “self-esteem craze” in Korea, has been published.
This is a new work that has been a full four years since the first book. While 『Self-Esteem Class』 dealt with how to love 'myself', 『Love Class』 focuses on resolving the conflicts, pain, and wounds that arise in spectacular human relationships by dealing with how to love 'both myself and others'.
It provides a psychological safety net and answers the questions of those who wonder, “Why is my life so messed up?” or “Why is my love so difficult?”
The author says, “No matter how much you raise your self-esteem, if love breaks down, it will crumble in an instant.
“Self-esteem is important, but the key to it is love,” he said, noting the influence, role, and importance of the experience of love given and received in various relationships on an individual’s life.
This book guides us on the path to subjective love that does not lose us by informing us of the influence that our personal temperament, habits, and attachment styles, which are revealed when we love or form relationships, have on our relationships.
It also provides warm comfort to those suffering from the pain of love and those wandering after a breakup, and gives them the courage to walk out of their pain and start again.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Prologue The beginning of all problems is love
Chapter 1: Love, Why It Hurts and Is Difficult
1.
Love is difficult for everyone
2.
Why Love Is Difficult
3.
Four Types of Love
4.
What on earth is love
5.
I don't want to get married, but I don't want to be lonely.
6.
The power of love, before it's too late
Chapter 2 What Attachment Style Am I?
1.
The relationship between attachment and love
2.
Representative characteristics of insecure attachment
3.
Insecure Attachment 1: Avoidant
4.
Insecure Attachment 2: Anxious
5.
Insecure Attachment 3: Mixed
Chapter 3: The Roots and Vicious Cycle of Affection Deprivation
1.
What is Affection Deprivation?: The Absence of a Safe Zone
2.
Vicious Cycle #1: Low Self-Esteem
3.
Vicious Cycle 2: The Good Kid Syndrome
4.
Vicious Cycle #3: Self-Pity
5.
The result of a vicious cycle: a lack of empathy.
6.
The End of Affection Deprivation: Deviance
Chapter 4: Overcoming Breakup Syndrome
1.
If you're good at breaking up, you'll be good at loving.
2.
Let go of foolishness and accept it
3.
Breakup is not the end of love
4.
How to break up with less pain
5.
Dealing with the aftereffects of withdrawal symptoms
6.
About safe separation
Chapter 5 Conditions for Secure Attachment
1.
Make sure you have time to prepare
2.
First Step: Securing Energy
3.
Second Groundwork: Refining Your Defense Mechanisms
4.
Third Groundwork: Regulating Emotions
Chapter 6 Five Forces That Make Up Love
1.
Intimacy: Building Bridges Between Islands
2.
Refusal: Removing Hazardous Materials
3.
Conversational Skills: To say I love you means to talk.
4.
Apologetics: The ability to extinguish the flames of conflict
5.
Endurance: The power to repair and maintain the bridge
Chapter 7: Realistic Questions About Love
1.
When you can't even imagine: For those who have a hard time getting started
2.
Should I Break Up or Not?: For Those Who Have a Hard Time Deciding
3.
Parental Opposition: What to Do: For Those Facing Conflict
4.
Should I get married?: For the skeptics
epilogue Love is always by your side
Chapter 1: Love, Why It Hurts and Is Difficult
1.
Love is difficult for everyone
2.
Why Love Is Difficult
3.
Four Types of Love
4.
What on earth is love
5.
I don't want to get married, but I don't want to be lonely.
6.
The power of love, before it's too late
Chapter 2 What Attachment Style Am I?
1.
The relationship between attachment and love
2.
Representative characteristics of insecure attachment
3.
Insecure Attachment 1: Avoidant
4.
Insecure Attachment 2: Anxious
5.
Insecure Attachment 3: Mixed
Chapter 3: The Roots and Vicious Cycle of Affection Deprivation
1.
What is Affection Deprivation?: The Absence of a Safe Zone
2.
Vicious Cycle #1: Low Self-Esteem
3.
Vicious Cycle 2: The Good Kid Syndrome
4.
Vicious Cycle #3: Self-Pity
5.
The result of a vicious cycle: a lack of empathy.
6.
The End of Affection Deprivation: Deviance
Chapter 4: Overcoming Breakup Syndrome
1.
If you're good at breaking up, you'll be good at loving.
2.
Let go of foolishness and accept it
3.
Breakup is not the end of love
4.
How to break up with less pain
5.
Dealing with the aftereffects of withdrawal symptoms
6.
About safe separation
Chapter 5 Conditions for Secure Attachment
1.
Make sure you have time to prepare
2.
First Step: Securing Energy
3.
Second Groundwork: Refining Your Defense Mechanisms
4.
Third Groundwork: Regulating Emotions
Chapter 6 Five Forces That Make Up Love
1.
Intimacy: Building Bridges Between Islands
2.
Refusal: Removing Hazardous Materials
3.
Conversational Skills: To say I love you means to talk.
4.
Apologetics: The ability to extinguish the flames of conflict
5.
Endurance: The power to repair and maintain the bridge
Chapter 7: Realistic Questions About Love
1.
When you can't even imagine: For those who have a hard time getting started
2.
Should I Break Up or Not?: For Those Who Have a Hard Time Deciding
3.
Parental Opposition: What to Do: For Those Facing Conflict
4.
Should I get married?: For the skeptics
epilogue Love is always by your side
Detailed image
Into the book
- If 'love', which was sometimes so harsh that it made me shake my head, and sometimes only approached as a luxury or an obstacle, could now be freed from its stigma and transformed into a warm and powerful energy, I could not ask for more.
- If you are having a hard time because of love right now, I hope you can accept it and feel relieved, thinking, 'I'm not the only one who feels this way.'
The original desire for love keeps coming back like hunger.
However, unlike hunger, it is not an easy problem to solve.
Just because you make up your mind doesn't mean you'll give up right away, there's no right answer, and just because you've had a lot of experience doesn't mean you'll become proficient.
- It's frustrating not knowing why things aren't working out, but even if you know the cause, it doesn't mean a solution will come easily.
Strangely, while other people are good at love and have smooth relationships, I seem to be the only one having a hard time and things just don't work out.
When you are so discouraged and hurt, you eventually find meeting people annoying and hesitant.
Going through this process, many people begin to doubt and blame themselves, wondering, 'Maybe I am a problematic person.'
- To those who are obsessed with the myth that couples should be one in heart and soul, or that if they love each other, they should be able to understand each other's feelings without having to say anything, I would like to say this.
“Love that is not expressed cannot be reached.” Many couples break up because of the four-character idiom, “telepathy.”
Love that is not expressed is not safe.
- We didn't learn to love.
No one taught us what it takes to love well, what comes from loving properly, and what we need to do to achieve that.
I've been studying the knowledge and information necessary for employment for over 10 years, but I've never properly learned 'how to love,' which is the most essential thing for living in this world.
- In order to love well, you absolutely need time to ‘get the feel’ through repeated learning and training.
Direct and indirect experience is also necessary.
The attitude we should take is not one of premature giving up, self-reproach, or fear.
You have to gain experience by learning and trying things one by one.
- After much thought and research, I discovered that although love comes in many forms, there are some key commonalities.
And finally, he concluded that only when these three things are in harmony can it be called love.
It is to cherish (attitude), understand (mental and psychological activity), and help (action).
When I applied this concept in actual clinical practice and life, I was able to set goals in the most realistic and peaceful way.
- Many other people are already taking action to teach, correct, and change.
The 'role' of a loved one is to support, understand, and be there for them.
So, if you love each other, you should hug each other, comfort each other, understand each other's feelings, and eat delicious food together to be happy.
That is the original function and role of dating.
- Many women agree that marriage has more to offer and more to lose than it gains.
For them, marriage is no longer a romantic or mystical thing to dream about.
I see this phenomenon not as an absence of love, but as an absence of the courage to love.
Our society has taken away the desire to date and the courage to get married.
- You'll know when you're alone.
The loneliness, desolation, severe depression, and frustration that come with being together are incomparable to the stress and difficulties that come with being together.
An existential nihilism, such as ‘Is this the right way to live?’ and ‘Why do I need to exist?’, comes over me.
What this means is that if you cut off a relationship without thinking, you may suffer unbearable pain.
- If you are having a hard time because of love right now, I hope you can accept it and feel relieved, thinking, 'I'm not the only one who feels this way.'
The original desire for love keeps coming back like hunger.
However, unlike hunger, it is not an easy problem to solve.
Just because you make up your mind doesn't mean you'll give up right away, there's no right answer, and just because you've had a lot of experience doesn't mean you'll become proficient.
- It's frustrating not knowing why things aren't working out, but even if you know the cause, it doesn't mean a solution will come easily.
Strangely, while other people are good at love and have smooth relationships, I seem to be the only one having a hard time and things just don't work out.
When you are so discouraged and hurt, you eventually find meeting people annoying and hesitant.
Going through this process, many people begin to doubt and blame themselves, wondering, 'Maybe I am a problematic person.'
- To those who are obsessed with the myth that couples should be one in heart and soul, or that if they love each other, they should be able to understand each other's feelings without having to say anything, I would like to say this.
“Love that is not expressed cannot be reached.” Many couples break up because of the four-character idiom, “telepathy.”
Love that is not expressed is not safe.
- We didn't learn to love.
No one taught us what it takes to love well, what comes from loving properly, and what we need to do to achieve that.
I've been studying the knowledge and information necessary for employment for over 10 years, but I've never properly learned 'how to love,' which is the most essential thing for living in this world.
- In order to love well, you absolutely need time to ‘get the feel’ through repeated learning and training.
Direct and indirect experience is also necessary.
The attitude we should take is not one of premature giving up, self-reproach, or fear.
You have to gain experience by learning and trying things one by one.
- After much thought and research, I discovered that although love comes in many forms, there are some key commonalities.
And finally, he concluded that only when these three things are in harmony can it be called love.
It is to cherish (attitude), understand (mental and psychological activity), and help (action).
When I applied this concept in actual clinical practice and life, I was able to set goals in the most realistic and peaceful way.
- Many other people are already taking action to teach, correct, and change.
The 'role' of a loved one is to support, understand, and be there for them.
So, if you love each other, you should hug each other, comfort each other, understand each other's feelings, and eat delicious food together to be happy.
That is the original function and role of dating.
- Many women agree that marriage has more to offer and more to lose than it gains.
For them, marriage is no longer a romantic or mystical thing to dream about.
I see this phenomenon not as an absence of love, but as an absence of the courage to love.
Our society has taken away the desire to date and the courage to get married.
- You'll know when you're alone.
The loneliness, desolation, severe depression, and frustration that come with being together are incomparable to the stress and difficulties that come with being together.
An existential nihilism, such as ‘Is this the right way to live?’ and ‘Why do I need to exist?’, comes over me.
What this means is that if you cut off a relationship without thinking, you may suffer unbearable pain.
--- From the text
Publisher's Review
Courage and comfort for those who find love difficult and those who have been hurt in relationships.
"Love Class" deals with the principles of love that permeate not only romantic relationships between men and women, but also all relationships, including couples, families, friends, colleagues, and seniors and juniors.
It broadly diagnoses and presents solutions to love problems we face in life, such as how to give and receive love well, why love keeps getting tangled and broken whenever we try to love, whether there is a way to end a relationship with less pain, whether there is a way to break up safely, and how to move on to a new life healthily after a painful love.
This is a psychological solution that comforts the hearts of those who repeatedly fail in love, those who have difficulty expressing their feelings, those who fight and conflict repeatedly while in love, those who want to be loved but lack the courage to start, those who suffer from the pain of heartbreak, and those who suffer from mental hunger or a sense of deficiency, and helps them find realistic solutions to restore their mental strength and grow.
We provide unique solutions that you can follow step by step, such as [Today's To-Do] and [TIP].
The 'To-Do' and 'Tips' provided for each chapter and step are very helpful.
- To those who say they don't have the resources
- A popular guy with good interpersonal skills is an avoidant type?
[Today's To-Do] Useful Things to Do When Anxiety Strikes
[Today's To-Do] for Mixed-Anxious Attachment Style
- 7 Steps to Breaking Free from Self-Pity
- Practice letting go of attachments
- Creating a breakup error note
- Decide what to do before, during, and after the breakup
- Attitude to have after a breakup
- Make a realistic plan for energy recovery
- Check and refine your defense mechanisms.
- Writing an Emotions Journal and Practical Examples
Things to think about when you feel skeptical
- Practice building intimacy
- How to lighten your mind
- Habits to improve conversational skills: Shadowing
- Apologize to me/How to apologize to me
My love, is this okay?
Diagnosis and solutions for affection deficiency, attachment style, defense mechanisms, and separation syndrome.
What's important in a love that boosts self-esteem? It's a psychological safety zone and a stable attachment.
This book helps readers create a 'safe zone' and a 'secure attachment'.
The problems we face every day usually stem from relationships. If we have a safe space, we won't be easily shaken when difficulties arise, and if we have a stable attachment, many of the worries that arise from interpersonal relationships will be resolved on their own.
By examining attachment styles and defense mechanisms, such as those who turn away when conflict arises, those who feel small by comparing themselves to others, those who are overly dependent, and those who cannot accept love from others, it will be helpful to understand and approach others who have completely different approaches from us.
It also covers various manifestations of affection deprivation, such as low self-esteem, good boy syndrome, and self-pity.
Readers can examine their own attachment styles and deficiencies to discover hints for change and growth.
-Chapter 1: Examines the ambivalent nature of love and explains the meaning of love and why we should not give up on love.
-Chapter 2: Analyzes attachment types to help readers examine and change their tendencies.
-Chapter 3: Examines the typical symptoms of affection deficiency and analyzes the causes and effects to help you understand yourself and others.
The ending is more important than the beginning: "Parting well."
Laying a solid foundation for a growing life
[Love Class] talks a lot about breakups.
It is important to meet well, but it is equally important to part ways well.
Breaking up with someone you have a strong emotional bond with is incredibly confusing and painful.
However, it is more important than anything to break up well for yourself and the rest of your life, as you will be left alone after the breakup.
By reading the detailed advice in this book, you will be able to find a new life in good health without being buried in your wounds.
-Chapter 4: Provides tips for those struggling to overcome breakup syndrome.
It helps you prepare for a mature breakup, including the difficult part of letting go of regrets, how to accept a breakup, what mindset to have after a breakup, and guidelines for a safe breakup.
We also introduce how to build the strength to find new love after a breakup.
-Chapter 5: Focuses on the four conditions and defense mechanisms for secure attachment.
-Chapter 6: It tells you the five powers and characteristics needed to develop the power of love, and how to develop those powers.
-Chapter 7: Directly answered the 'realistic questions about love' that people around me are most curious about.
There is no love that is taken for granted.
Love also requires study and practice.
Love wisely before it's too late
Everyone falls in love and breaks up several times in their life.
Depending on how we deal with the process and experience, some people regress, some people grow, and sometimes their lives change completely.
Love is something you can neither avoid nor live without.
Yet, we have never properly learned about love until now.
The author says, “We have been living a double standard of living, focusing our lives on studying for exams and jobs, while simultaneously suppressing and ignoring the most important thing, love.” He adds that love is about dealing with the complex emotions of ourselves and others, so we must understand the principles and learn the appropriate techniques and skills.
Life goes smoothly only when you can handle love well, and only when you give and receive love well can you truly grow.
This book does not deal with love abstractly.
This is a very practical book that helps you think about someone you love, reflect on yourself, and move forward into a better relationship.
Through this book, readers will gain hints on how to transform love into a warm and empowering energy, rather than a source of hurt or pain, and turn crises into opportunities.
In the midst of the unprecedented COVID-19 era, we face a major challenge.
I feel anxiety that the foundation of my life might collapse, a sense of isolation and crisis, loneliness, and a sense of hopelessness and despair with no exit.
This is a time when we need more than ever the appropriate role, communication, support and encouragement, and love from someone by our side.
I hope this book will help you grow closer to those you care about, serve as a support, and give you the strength and courage to move forward.
"Love Class" deals with the principles of love that permeate not only romantic relationships between men and women, but also all relationships, including couples, families, friends, colleagues, and seniors and juniors.
It broadly diagnoses and presents solutions to love problems we face in life, such as how to give and receive love well, why love keeps getting tangled and broken whenever we try to love, whether there is a way to end a relationship with less pain, whether there is a way to break up safely, and how to move on to a new life healthily after a painful love.
This is a psychological solution that comforts the hearts of those who repeatedly fail in love, those who have difficulty expressing their feelings, those who fight and conflict repeatedly while in love, those who want to be loved but lack the courage to start, those who suffer from the pain of heartbreak, and those who suffer from mental hunger or a sense of deficiency, and helps them find realistic solutions to restore their mental strength and grow.
We provide unique solutions that you can follow step by step, such as [Today's To-Do] and [TIP].
The 'To-Do' and 'Tips' provided for each chapter and step are very helpful.
- To those who say they don't have the resources
- A popular guy with good interpersonal skills is an avoidant type?
[Today's To-Do] Useful Things to Do When Anxiety Strikes
[Today's To-Do] for Mixed-Anxious Attachment Style
- 7 Steps to Breaking Free from Self-Pity
- Practice letting go of attachments
- Creating a breakup error note
- Decide what to do before, during, and after the breakup
- Attitude to have after a breakup
- Make a realistic plan for energy recovery
- Check and refine your defense mechanisms.
- Writing an Emotions Journal and Practical Examples
Things to think about when you feel skeptical
- Practice building intimacy
- How to lighten your mind
- Habits to improve conversational skills: Shadowing
- Apologize to me/How to apologize to me
My love, is this okay?
Diagnosis and solutions for affection deficiency, attachment style, defense mechanisms, and separation syndrome.
What's important in a love that boosts self-esteem? It's a psychological safety zone and a stable attachment.
This book helps readers create a 'safe zone' and a 'secure attachment'.
The problems we face every day usually stem from relationships. If we have a safe space, we won't be easily shaken when difficulties arise, and if we have a stable attachment, many of the worries that arise from interpersonal relationships will be resolved on their own.
By examining attachment styles and defense mechanisms, such as those who turn away when conflict arises, those who feel small by comparing themselves to others, those who are overly dependent, and those who cannot accept love from others, it will be helpful to understand and approach others who have completely different approaches from us.
It also covers various manifestations of affection deprivation, such as low self-esteem, good boy syndrome, and self-pity.
Readers can examine their own attachment styles and deficiencies to discover hints for change and growth.
-Chapter 1: Examines the ambivalent nature of love and explains the meaning of love and why we should not give up on love.
-Chapter 2: Analyzes attachment types to help readers examine and change their tendencies.
-Chapter 3: Examines the typical symptoms of affection deficiency and analyzes the causes and effects to help you understand yourself and others.
The ending is more important than the beginning: "Parting well."
Laying a solid foundation for a growing life
[Love Class] talks a lot about breakups.
It is important to meet well, but it is equally important to part ways well.
Breaking up with someone you have a strong emotional bond with is incredibly confusing and painful.
However, it is more important than anything to break up well for yourself and the rest of your life, as you will be left alone after the breakup.
By reading the detailed advice in this book, you will be able to find a new life in good health without being buried in your wounds.
-Chapter 4: Provides tips for those struggling to overcome breakup syndrome.
It helps you prepare for a mature breakup, including the difficult part of letting go of regrets, how to accept a breakup, what mindset to have after a breakup, and guidelines for a safe breakup.
We also introduce how to build the strength to find new love after a breakup.
-Chapter 5: Focuses on the four conditions and defense mechanisms for secure attachment.
-Chapter 6: It tells you the five powers and characteristics needed to develop the power of love, and how to develop those powers.
-Chapter 7: Directly answered the 'realistic questions about love' that people around me are most curious about.
There is no love that is taken for granted.
Love also requires study and practice.
Love wisely before it's too late
Everyone falls in love and breaks up several times in their life.
Depending on how we deal with the process and experience, some people regress, some people grow, and sometimes their lives change completely.
Love is something you can neither avoid nor live without.
Yet, we have never properly learned about love until now.
The author says, “We have been living a double standard of living, focusing our lives on studying for exams and jobs, while simultaneously suppressing and ignoring the most important thing, love.” He adds that love is about dealing with the complex emotions of ourselves and others, so we must understand the principles and learn the appropriate techniques and skills.
Life goes smoothly only when you can handle love well, and only when you give and receive love well can you truly grow.
This book does not deal with love abstractly.
This is a very practical book that helps you think about someone you love, reflect on yourself, and move forward into a better relationship.
Through this book, readers will gain hints on how to transform love into a warm and empowering energy, rather than a source of hurt or pain, and turn crises into opportunities.
In the midst of the unprecedented COVID-19 era, we face a major challenge.
I feel anxiety that the foundation of my life might collapse, a sense of isolation and crisis, loneliness, and a sense of hopelessness and despair with no exit.
This is a time when we need more than ever the appropriate role, communication, support and encouragement, and love from someone by our side.
I hope this book will help you grow closer to those you care about, serve as a support, and give you the strength and courage to move forward.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Publication date: December 15, 2020
- Page count, weight, size: 332 pages | 494g | 140*210*30mm
- ISBN13: 9791186757666
- ISBN10: 1186757663
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