preface

Part 1: Why I Became Interested in Highly Sensitive People

1.
About the research I am doing
2.
The Origins of Trauma
3.
A Study of Facial Deformities and Childhood Trauma
4.
Sensitivity and brain function
5.
The Birth of a Sensitive Brain

Part 2: Celebrities Who Overcame Sensitivity

1.
Steve Jobs and Trypophobia
2.
Isaac Newton and Sensitivity
3.
Winston Churchill and Black Dog
4.
Schumann's creativity and emotional ups and downs
5.
Tiger Woods and the yips

Part 3: Meeting Highly Sensitive People

1.
very sensitive people
2.
I get angry just looking at my husband.
3.
I'm so sensitive that I can't get along with my friends.
4.
A depressed and sensitive working woman
5.
Concerns about health are also a disease
6.
The law of energy limitation
7.
Thoughts follow one another
8.
Inflexible person
9.
Obsession with paragraphing
10.
Fear of flying
11.
fear of superiors
12.
A disease that deserves everyone's attention
13.
I keep having diarrhea before the exam.
14.
A stubborn man who can't finish his work well
15.
If I get even a little tired, I feel like dying
16.
I need to do well like my parents.
17.
A woman who needs sleeping pills to fall asleep
18.
I'm worried I might have dementia.
19.
Increased Impulsivity ADHD
20.
Overcoming Childhood Trauma
21.
I've become more sensitive since I had a baby.
22.
A girlfriend who frequently self-harms
23.
Is it comfortable to eat at night?
24.
The fear of driving in tunnels and on elevated roads
25.
A person who cannot stand causing inconvenience to others
26.
I feel dizzy for no reason
27.
amnesia
28.
I was diagnosed with breast cancer.
29.
My teeth hurt so much for no reason
30.
A woman with ears sensitive to noise
31.
Corona Blues

Part 4: People who have overcome sensitivity well

1.
A successful restaurant industry representative who is sensitive
2.
Overcoming an alcoholic father and becoming a social worker
3.
The fund manager who overcame the impulse to death
4.
The cellist who overcame stage fright
5.
The CEO of a mechanical parts company who overcame depression
6.
The academy instructor who overcame his fear of public speaking
7.
A restaurant owner overcomes impulse control disorder after drinking.
8.
A person who became a writer through four-dimensional thinking
9.
The owner of an accessory shop who overcame anorexia

Part 5: Upgrade Your Sensitivity

1.
Libra of Sensitivity
2.
Let's make good facial expressions and speech.
3.
Let's straighten our head position
4.
Let's soothe a sensitive stomach
5.
The ability to completely rest
6.
Self-esteem management
7.
Interpersonal Conversation Tips
8.
Focus on waking up rather than sleeping.
9.
Understand your defense mechanisms
10.
What I like and dislike
11.
What is family?
12.
What was my past like?
13.
What will the future hold?
14.
What are my values?
15.
Don't make enemies
16.
Magic of the Senses

Part 6: Let's sort out your worries

1.
Let's organize our worries into four categories.
2.
People who make you uncomfortable when you meet them vs.
comfortable person

Part 7: Let's maintain my energy well

1.
Where should we put our sensitivity energy?
2.
Let's manage my sensitivity
3.
Let's keep our energy up

In closing
supplement
main

Trauma: The Case of Kwon Ha-neul

Trauma is a psychological injury experienced after experiencing or witnessing actual or threatened death, serious illness, or an event that threatens the physical or physical integrity of oneself or others.
Anyone can experience trauma at some point in their lives, and the paths to it can be diverse, including childhood environment, relationships with parents, accidents, and interpersonal problems.
Moreover, the degree to which one feels trauma is subjective, so some people cannot shake off their fear, while others who were present may dismiss it as nothing.
The sensitive people this book is about often feel even small traumas as bigger ones.


Childhood traumas that are difficult to remember even when one tries to remember them can affect a person's behavior and choices.
For example, a person who had a near-death experience of drowning as a child may show a reluctance to go to the beach even though he or she does not remember the experience well as an adult.
Accordingly, the author studied the correlation between memory, trauma, and childhood experiences and adult depression, anxiety, and sensitivity.
The goal was to produce more objective research results, as simply conducting a survey of trauma survivors would result in inaccurate responses based on their memories and feelings.
For example, trauma experienced in childhood can be divided into general trauma, physical abuse, sexual abuse, neglect, and emotional abuse, which can lead to depression, anxiety, and panic disorder in adulthood.


In this book, the author introduces research conducted by plastic surgeons on patients with congenital facial deformities.
Among them, when I met and counseled people with microtia, large black spots, cleft lip, malocclusion, and ptosis, I found that many of them had suffered from stress due to their appearance since childhood and had difficulty making friends.
However, even with the same facial deformity, some people are able to make eye contact and talk well, while others are depressed and lonely and have difficulty making eye contact with others.
Accordingly, the author conducted a study on a control group of patients with congenital facial deformities, performed a psychiatric evaluation before surgery, and evaluated them again after surgery to compare before and after.
An interesting fact is that half of the patients with facial deformities have covered their deformities with hair, hats, etc. since childhood, while the other half have lived with their deformities exposed. The group that has covered their deformities have a 'sensitive and sharp' personality.
Because of this, they were 7.1 times more likely to suffer from depression than the control group, and they had chronic anxiety, self-blame, dissatisfaction, health anxiety, and a self-critical personality.


Kwon Ha-neul is exactly that kind of example.
He was born with an underdeveloped cartilage above his right ear, and he always covered it with his hair. He was always nervous when the wind blew, and he couldn't look his friends in the eye when he met them.
The author, together with plastic surgeons, performed surgery on the ears of the Sky Army with great success.
However, even after the surgery, Kwon Ha-neul still felt that his right ear looked strange, and after looking in the mirror often, he started covering it again and avoiding people after a while.
It took him several years of psychiatric counseling to overcome this trauma and get along with his friends.


Neuroscience research on sensitivity

Our brain is the organ that contains our mind.
The countless emotions and thoughts that humans feel are stored in the neural circuitry of the brain, and hundreds of millions or trillions of circuits come together to form the structure of that person's mind.
Over time, unnecessary or outdated circuits disappear through forgetting, while neural networks linked to frequently experienced or intense trauma become stronger.
Through this repetition, a ‘very sensitive brain’ is developed, which creates a ‘very sensitive person.’
Within the brain, different parts of the brain work together to regulate sensitivity.
The limbic system, located at the very center of the brain, is called the brain of emotions and memory.
It maintains internal homeostasis by participating in human memory, emotions, learning, dreams, concentration, awakening, and expression of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure, and controls and regulates human instinctive desires and basic needs such as hunger and thirst.
The limbic system is connected to the frontal lobe, and most impulses generated in the limbic system are suppressed in the frontal lobe.
A well-developed frontal lobe is the biggest characteristic that distinguishes humans from animals.
However, if you are abused or neglected during childhood, problems arise in the development of the frontal lobe and limbic system.


The amygdala, which plays a key role in learning and remembering fear, is also associated with sensitivity.
If the amygdala is continuously stimulated, it becomes more sensitive and bad memories become more vivid. For example, if you were scolded while studying as a child, the memory may be strengthened by the amygdala, but the trauma may cause depression and anxiety.
Functional magnetic resonance imaging studies of cerebral blood flow have shown that highly sensitive people have more active areas of the brain, such as the limbic system, which is responsible for feeling emotions and empathy.
The nerves in our brain are interconnected, and their terminals contain neurotransmitters called serotonin, dopamine, and norepinephrine.
These substances must be kept sufficiently stable for sensitivity to be well controlled.
The substance related to dual mood is serotonin. If there is enough of this, the mood is good and memory is improved, but if there is too much, it becomes persistent and symptoms of anxiety and nervousness appear.
Dopamine also makes you more alert when you have a lot of it, but if it's excessive, you may become suspicious of others or feel like what people say is insulting you.
Norepinephrine increases focus and energy, but too much can cause sleeplessness and a lump in the throat.
Highly sensitive people are more sensitive to changes in neurotransmitters, and if they can maintain this, they can be more insightful and creative than average people.
But on the other hand, if it goes too far and becomes too tense, the frontal lobe function may decline and panic disorder may occur.


What happened to her neural network growing up under a sensitive mother?

Patients with severe depression with suicidal thoughts and patients with depression without suicidal thoughts.
The author studied how their brains differ.
During that process, I met Kim Mi-sook. She was 52 years old and very sensitive. She couldn't sit still and was constantly looking around. When the other person made eye contact, she would turn her head to the side to avoid it.
I finally fell asleep around 2 or 3 in the morning, and I was overcome with fear that I would die in my sleep or not wake up in the morning.
The living conditions appeared to be good on the outside.
Her husband was a company CEO, her son was a law student, and her daughter was also a college student.
However, her son was having trouble adjusting to law school, and she, as a mother, was under a lot of stress. She couldn't sleep when she saw a dark expression on her son's face.


One day, my husband came home late, drunk.
The husband looked unusually disheveled and said, “Something went wrong at work, so I have to take responsibility. I have to step down from my position.”
At this time, Misuk suddenly lost faith in her husband, and she felt dizzy and unable to breathe, almost collapsing.
Eventually, I felt like I couldn't live like this any longer, and I was so depressed from worrying about my husband and son that I even thought about dying, so I came to the hospital.
When Kim Mi-sook's brain was examined with a standard MRI, no differences were observed.
Accordingly, we decided to confirm the difference using diffusion tensor imaging, which can confirm the connections in the brain's neural network.
Using this video, it was confirmed that in patients with depression who have suicidal thoughts, the neural network between the prefrontal cortex and the globus pallidus, which is part of the limbic system, has decreased connectivity.
In other words, it was determined that it was difficult to effectively control suicidal impulses and sensitivity arising from the limbic system in the frontal lobe.


Misuk was the eldest daughter of one son and one daughter and grew up under a sensitive mother.
The mother was a well-educated woman, but she often scolded her daughter and had little affection for her.
Misuk was scolded for even the smallest things and was even scolded for her younger sibling's share of the work.
In that environment, Misuk was always anxious, and after marriage, if her husband or son showed a bad expression, she became anxious like when she was young.
A substance called 'brain-derived trophic factor' is responsible for promoting the formation of neural networks in our brain.
It also helps nerves survive and repair damage.
Repeated trauma during childhood sensitizes the amygdala, the part of the brain that recognizes threats, and activates the sympathetic nervous system, which responds to threats, leaving us in a chronic state of tension.
This is called a 'threat response', and if the increase in adrenal cortex hormones that occurs at this time becomes chronic, the formation of brain neural networks is disrupted.


The important thing here is the ‘generalization of fear.’
Past trauma can cause us to perceive even everyday experiences, events, and relationships in the present as a threat.
Misuk was always worried about everything and always assumed the worst, but when she no longer had the energy to endure the stress, she became depressed.
In any case, she suffered from depression stemming from such old trauma, and in this book, she is shown recovering through psychiatric treatment.
Moreover, she meets her mother and shares stories from her childhood for the first time since she was born.
The detailed process is worth listening to.


What are the symptoms of 40 highly sensitive people?

In Part 2 of this book, a psychiatrist explains that famous people we know, such as Steve Jobs, Churchill, Newton, and Robert Schumann, had 'highly sensitive personalities' and that they managed that sensitivity well to achieve great results in design, science, and music.
Next, in Part 3, readers are encouraged to self-check using the 28-item 'Highly Sensitive Level Evaluation Table', and the stories of 31 highly sensitive ordinary people are told.


When Kim Min-jeong, 52, first met the author, Professor Jeon Hong-jin, she let out a heavy sigh that felt like she was going to sink into the ground.
“When I see my husband’s face, I remember all the wrongs he did to me in the past.”
It's been six months since my relationship with my husband, who was originally considerate, started to become bumpy, like driving on a dirt road.
One day, while walking in the neighborhood park, my husband spoke to Minjeong in a scolding tone, but he greeted the woman next door in a kind tone as she passed by.
That night, Minjeong felt feverish and stuffy in bed, and when her husband snored next to her, she felt the urge to slap him.
Afterwards, Minjeong poured out to her husband all the upsetting things that had happened to her 20 years ago, 10 years ago, and 3 years ago, and as this happened repeatedly, her husband became increasingly exhausted.
How would the author advise on this?
He advises Minjeong on the tendency of our brains to reinforce 'anxiety' memories.
So will Minjeong finally be able to restore her relationship with her husband?

Eun-kyung, a 22-year-old college student, is a hikikomori who rarely socializes with people, and she knows that she has a sensitive personality.
A characteristic of her personality is that she has extreme mood swings.
Even though I feel good and floating, when I hit rock bottom, I feel like I've lost even the rope I need to hold onto to get back up.
My mood fluctuates several times a day, I have trouble sleeping at night, and I wake up late in the morning.
When I asked her why she has trouble making friends, she said, “When I go to a crowded place, I feel like people are laughing at me.
So, when I start to notice things, I find it hard to breathe.
“I don’t know what to talk about with them,” he said.
Moreover, I have a habit of binge eating at night, so my weight increases every day. I hate myself because of my appearance, and my confidence is currently at rock bottom.


Meanwhile, Mina, who had worked as a non-regular worker until she was 31, like many young people these days, and finally became a regular office worker three years ago, was living a satisfactory life, getting along well with people, and making plans for the future like a newcomer in her 30s.
But life is always full of threats.
In particular, meeting a good boss is not something you can do on your own.
A while ago, a senior manager she was close with retired and a new boss came in. She trampled on Min-ah's feelings in front of everyone with her blunt speech.
As soon as I glanced over it, it felt like all the grass had been torn out and crushed, and my mind was left in a mess like a field.
Mina was feeling intimidated by the public humiliation of being asked, “Have you ever worked like this before?” One day, she was the only one left out of a lunch with her colleagues, and it felt like they were gossiping about her.
These days, Mina has been spending more time in a daze, and she can't shake off the feeling that 'everyone seems to hate me.'
The stories of the twenty-eight people following Ms. Minah are very sensitive people, and I can easily see them in my family, colleagues, and myself.
Their stories unfold like a drama, and through their sensitive minds, we are able to look into ourselves and the people around us as if looking in a mirror.


How can sensitivity be controlled?

The author describes the symptoms of each person in this book according to their situation and provides objective diagnostic criteria based on related research, including advice that applies to highly sensitive people in general.
For example, it encourages sensitive people to focus only on the 'present' to avoid having their thoughts wander endlessly back to the past.
Sensitive people with strong 'relational thinking' and 'associative thinking' can better focus on the present when they read a new book or start exercising.
Also, there are probably no people who care as much about other people's gaze, evaluation, look, and attitude as Koreans, but the author says that other people's expressions and attitudes change depending on their mood or condition that day, so instead of frowning meaning that they dislike you, you can just think, "He must be in a bad condition today," and move on.
Or, even if the other person's tone is cold, practice reading it as if you were reading a text message on a cell phone, focusing only on the content (text) without overreacting to it.

People who are starting to suffer from depression in particular often think, "I should quit my job," in the early stages of depression, but the author advises, "Never quit your job."
Because symptoms of stress and depression usually recover within 1 to 3 months after treatment, quitting a job is something you will greatly regret after recovering your health.
It is also said that headaches, heart palpitations, and severe toothaches are often physical symptoms that arise from emotional sensitivity.
Many of the counseling cases included in this book are people who complained of physical symptoms, underwent various tests at the hospital, and finally visited a psychiatrist after hearing from a doctor that there were no abnormalities.
That is, they suffer from insomnia due to anxiety and sensitivity in their mind, and when this develops into irritable bowel syndrome, high blood pressure, headaches, and toothaches, they receive treatment at internal medicine departments and finally come to a psychiatrist to begin examining their mind.
You will be able to confirm through the various cases introduced in the book that a significant portion of physical symptoms can be eliminated simply by releasing and relaxing the tension in your body and muscles.
Also, sensitive people tend to want to be alone because of the burden that comes from interacting with people, but the problem is not solved by not going out, so the author presents various methods to overcome it by bumping into people.