Is there a skill to be learned and mastered in love?
The right way to express your love to your loved ones!

New York Times bestseller for 130 weeks
Translations into over 40 languages ​​worldwide
A classic in human relations that has sold over 20 million copies in English-speaking countries.

“Our couple is so different.”
“What happens to love after marriage?”
The more you love, the deeper your worries about the relationship become.
Why do people feel hurt when I express my passionate love for them? How should I convey my love? If the "language" of love is different, the love may not be conveyed, and misunderstandings and hurts may accumulate.
In severe cases, it can even lead to a breakup.
It's not because they don't love, it's because their love isn't communicated.
Understanding the five love languages—words of affirmation, quality time, gifts, physical contact, and acts of service—can help solve this problem.


"The 5 Love Languages" has been a steady seller since its publication in 2001.
Dr. Gary Chapman, a renowned Christian counselor and marriage seminar leader who has been counseling couples for over 40 years, talks about love languages ​​using real-life examples from many couples.
'He provides well for our family.
But she never spends any time with me.' 'It hurts me when she accuses me of always being too busy with work.
'She doesn't acknowledge me even though I'm trying hard for her.'
Because everyone's primary love language is different, communicating in the wrong language can make your love for one another seem in vain.
The diverse case studies of real couples make the book fascinating and engaging.

Marriage is a life where a couple lives together.
Running a Christian counseling center has taught me that no matter how good people are when they meet and get married, living together requires a different set of skills.
It's not something that can be achieved just by putting in effort.
What is needed is the ‘skill of living together.’

--- From the "Translator's Preface"

Being truthful is not enough.
To effectively communicate love to our partner, we must be willing to learn the love language our partner uses.

--- From "Does Love Disappear After Marriage?"

Encouraging with words means saying, “I know.
I'm with you.
It is to express your feelings by saying, “How can I help you?”
It shows that you trust your spouse's character and abilities.
It is to believe and praise.
(…) Of course, it may be difficult for you to give words of encouragement.
It may not be your first love language.
Learning this second language can take a lot of effort.
It can be really difficult, especially for someone who has a critical tone.
But I am sure it is worth the effort.

--- From "Words of Encouragement"

“Bill provides well for our family.
But you don't have any time with me at all.
"What good is a nice house or a nice car if we can't spend time together?" What did she want? Time with Bill.
I wanted my husband's attention.
I wanted to focus on myself, spend time together, and do things together.
'Time spent together' means giving your full attention to the other person.
It's not just about sitting on the couch together and watching TV.
Spending time that way is focusing on the TV show, not on your spouse.

--- From "Time Together"

1.
Have a gift parade.
Leave a box of candy for your spouse in the morning, have flowers delivered in the afternoon, and give them a gift in the evening.
When asked why, he replies, “I’m just trying to fill up your love tank.”
(…)
2.
Give the gift of being together.
Tell your spouse, “This month, I will give you the gift of being with you whenever you want.
“If you tell me when is best for you, I will do my best,” he says.
Prepare actively.
Who knows, you might end up loving going to concerts or baseball games!
--- From "Tip, When Your Spouse's Love Language Is Gifts"

Michelle was sitting in the living room, typing on her laptop.
I heard my husband running the washing machine in the utility room.
A smile spread across his lips.
These days, my husband Brad is busy cleaning the apartment, doing the dishes, and running errands.
Because Michelle is taking her graduate school graduation exams.
Michelle was grateful.
I could feel the love.
Michelle's primary love language was what I call "service."


Service means doing what your spouse wants.
It means making her happy by helping her and expressing your love by doing something for her.
Cooking, clearing the table, washing the dishes, (…) taking out the trash, changing diapers, painting the bedroom, dusting the bookshelf, etc. are acts of love called ‘service.’
Doing these things voluntarily can be a truly amazing expression of love.

--- From "Service"

As you go through married life, you will face crises.
Separation from parents is inevitable.
Car accidents also happen countless times.
Disease comes to everyone without discrimination.
Frustration has become a part of life.
The most important thing you can do for your spouse in these moments of crisis is to love them.
If your spouse's primary love language is physical contact, there's no better way to express your love than by embracing them when they're crying.
At this time, verbal comfort is not very effective, but physical contact can be quite effective.
Moments of crisis are opportunities to express love.
A warm, loving touch is remembered long after the crisis has passed.
Conversely, if you don't do that, the other person will never forget.

--- From "Skinship"

The experience of falling in love temporarily satisfies the need for love.
It makes me feel like someone cares for me, likes me, and accepts me.
…with your love tank full, you can conquer the world.
Nothing is impossible.
For most people, this is the first time in their lives that their love tank has been this full.
So I get intoxicated by that feeling.
But as time goes by, we return to the real world from that peak.
When our spouses learn and speak our love language, our needs will continue to be met.
Conversely, if you don't speak the language of love, your love tank will slowly dry up and you will no longer feel loved.

--- From "Love is a Choice"

Can love be rekindled in a marriage? Yes, I can guarantee you that.
The key is to learn your spouse's love language and choose to use it.

--- From "Love Changes"

“Okay, so let’s distinguish between the feeling of love and the act of love.
If you say you have feelings that you don't have at all, that's hypocrisy and you can't build a close relationship.
But if we perform acts of love for the benefit or satisfaction of the other person, then it is simply a choice.
Don't assume that actions necessarily come from deep emotional connection.
It is just a choice for his own benefit.
I think that's exactly what Jesus was saying.
It's natural that we don't have warm feelings for those who hate us.
It's abnormal to have warm feelings.
But you can do acts of love for them.
It's just a matter of choice.
Such acts of love will have a significant positive impact on their attitudes, behaviors, and conduct.”

--- From "6 Months of Experiment"