In my twenties, when there was no light, I prayed.
It wasn't a prayer asking for something or asking for something to be done.
"God, can you use me like this? If so, then use me."
I have been praying like this for a long time.
I had too many weaknesses.
In the face of the fear of an uncertain tomorrow, my existence was too fragile, and in reality, I had nothing.
During the long period of not knowing the answer, I came to know the Lord who works paradoxically.


Who is God? Problems fill me with fear, but God is greater than any problem.
If I could imagine how great He is, my fears would be powerless before Him who is greater.

But even though I knew that God was bigger than my problems, I still felt lost as to what to do and how to proceed.
p.28

God told me to take pictures and pray.
He said that whether you take a picture, write, or draw, do it while praying.
I believed that this did not only apply to me.
So I told him too.

“You should pray while taking pictures, and pray while looking at the pictures you took.”
I prayed, imagining the greater world I would encounter through that one person, even though I only spoke to one person in Tibet.
After a long time had passed since I returned, I met the missionary again in Korea.
He was a Tibetan monk and he said he had something he wanted me to tell him.

“That's what I'm doing.
“I am doing it just as you taught me.”
He said that while he was being stoned, he went into the village to pray and take pictures, visited the sick, took pictures, prayed for their recovery, and stuck the pictures on his desk and 'prayed'.
I believe that God builds His kingdom through one very small person.
p.71,72

God is not someone who has to move as I intend.
I cannot answer, for I do not know His will and plan.
Because God is the Lord.
p.90

One day, a junior colleague told me that he had been struggling for several days, wondering, "What can I do? What should I do now?"
I said this as I passed by, unaware of his worries.

“Just smiling is enough.”
These words made the junior reconsider his own existence.

'I don't shine by doing great things or doing anything, but simply smiling is enough for me to exist.'
Of course, laughing alone isn't enough to solve real-world problems.
But the restoration of my worth as a being that the Lord created and exclaimed, “It was good to see,” is the starting point of forgiving me.

Jesus said to forgive seventy times seven.
Since the Lord has forgiven me, I too must forgive according to the heart of the Father.

But am I perhaps excluding myself from the list of people I should forgive? Am I forgiving myself? Am I giving myself another chance? Since the Lord has done so, I must forgive myself, too.
When the light of the Lord's grace shines, today becomes a new morning, completely different from yesterday.
p.134,135

'So what will we get?'
These questions about rewards arise because we do not really know what the Lord has done for us.
The division does not attempt to confront us head-on.
It doesn't threaten us outright, saying, 'If you don't turn away from God and betray Him, you will die immediately.'

But just as he approached Eve, he continues to use methods throughout history to turn our hearts away from the Lord.
It makes me misunderstand his heart and makes my heart rise up.
p.180

The more talents you have, the more likely you are to overlook the little things while waiting and waiting for the right moment to make wise and advantageous decisions.
But looking back on my experience, most opportunities have come from being faithful to small tasks, leading to other things, or from meeting people through those tasks and working on unexpected projects.
It was as if the person in charge had suggested that we work together on a new project after finishing all the work of the cooperative.
p.189

When I wonder why I am alive today, when I wonder why I am doing this, when I am doing nothing or doing too much, when I am happy, when I am sick, when I am in despair and shedding tears, I ask the Lord:

The answer I need is not a logically plausible answer or a more organized and rational answer.
When we meet the Lord through prayer and His heart is poured out, we instinctively know the answer or direction.
Because He who created us gives us life.
p.244

--- From the text