To parents who are tired of fighting with their children every day |

Part 1: If you know this, you'll be half as angry.

Why Discipline is Hard
Don't persuade, direct.
How to give effective instructions
The essence of discipline is developing frustration tolerance.
The goal of discipline is to develop good habits.
Nonverbal messages are also important
Consistency is important, but don't be obsessed.
Things to avoid when disciplining
'Time Out' to Correct Problem Behavior Without Getting Angry
Sticker system that reinforces behavior with rewards
Three things you should never do
Corporal punishment is not discipline.

Part 2: You need to set boundaries for your child's behavior to help them grow well.

Every time I give instructions, he says no
If things don't go their way, they throw a tantrum.
Magic Spell "I want this"
Why is my child the only one who whines like this?
The child is acting violently.
My child's speech is becoming increasingly rough.
The child is obsessed with his mother.
My child is very opinionated.
A nagging mother, a talking back child
I'm sensitive to everything and get upset easily.
My child's tail is too long
Is my child impatient? Could it be ADHD?

Part 3: Good Habits Become Weapons for Life

I suffer every day because my child hates brushing his teeth.
My child sucks his thumb. Can I leave him alone?
How long should mom and dad let the baby sleep?
I've been afraid to eat since food got stuck in my throat.
I don't want to go to daycare
This morning feels like war, can't we get some relief?
My child has no concept of time.
What should I do about my child who only looks at his smartphone?
I wish I hadn't played the game

Part 4: Reality: Mothers Need Patience More Than Love

Read your child's mind and judge his or her claims.
Empathy and comfort twice a day is enough.
Excessive praise is poisonous.
Three Misconceptions Parents Have About Self-Esteem
Excessive interaction harms concentration.
Don't expect your child to understand your heart.
Things I only realized after becoming a mother
Am I a good mother?

In conclusion | You are a good enough parent

From ‘Excessive Mind Reading’ to ‘Balanced Parenting’
Professor Cho Sun-mi's Guide to Childcare: Changing the Parenting Paradigm
30 years of clinical experience and training know-how in one book!

'Why is my child like this?' Many parents fight a daily parenting war because their child whines, throws tantrums, and refuses to listen.
Even though parents diligently seek out various parenting knowledge and information, parenting is still a difficult and challenging task.
I want to be the 'ideal' parent who can read my child's mind well, but I always end up getting angry, yelling, and then turning around and regretting it.
Where on earth did it all go wrong?

Professor Cho Sun-mi of Ajou University, a mentor for parents in Korea, has written a book titled "Cho Sun-mi's Reality Parenting Counseling Center." This book clearly and bluntly explains the principles and methods of discipline that are essential for parents who are wondering, "Am I the only bad mother?" or "Is my parenting style the problem?"
This is a concise and clear parenting guide that distills 30 years of clinical experience and know-how, focusing only on the essential points.
Don't beat around the bush.
It is characterized by giving realistic advice using direct language that busy and tired parents can quickly understand, such as “Please, try to read minds a little”, “The essence of discipline is frustration”, and “Understand the mind, but frustration is also necessary”.
It might give you a flash of insight.
In these days when the prevailing parenting method is to accept and listen to a child's feelings affectionately as much as possible, this book speaks candidly about the need for 'appropriate discipline' to parents struggling with the difficulties of parenting.
Especially in these times when “mind-reading” books that respect children’s emotions are so popular, this book, which advises that “there is no need to read minds when disciplining” as if it desperately needs to find a balance, may be quite unconventional for parents.


“You need to set boundaries for your children to thrive.”
One of the unique roles of parents is to 'draw the line'.
The most realistic, concrete, and essential core advice

A child should receive unconditional love from his parents.
This is also a basic premise in this book.
No matter what anyone says, the more a child feels that he or she is loved, the healthier he or she will grow up to be.
But love alone isn't the answer to everything when it comes to parenting.
This book emphasizes that “discipline is the foundation of skills that children will need to survive in society throughout their lives,” and that we should not neglect discipline, which is essential, under the pretext of wanting to be “friend-like parents” or “democratic parents” due to an aversion to discipline itself.
In order for children to grow up to be strong individuals without fear of failure, parents must give them the opportunity to regulate their emotions on their own.
It is also emphasized again that greater love is what fosters in children the resilience to endure hardships, as well as the autonomy and independence to enable them to endure difficult and challenging situations.


Will reading a child's mind solve everything? What if they do things they shouldn't and repeat misbehavior? These days, there are more and more cases of "excessive mind reading" resulting in problems like children who can't regulate their emotions, becoming dependent, or becoming self-centered.
If we accept and allow everything, and then when it is time to discipline, proper discipline is not provided, not only the parents but also the child suffers.
In this book, the author, based on his clear insight as a psychologist and clinical expert, provides specific guidance on when to 'discipline', how to do it, and what to keep in mind.
It details how to discipline calmly and consistently.


Discipline is one of the important roles that parents must play, teaching what can be done and what cannot be done, and teaching patience.
If you explain things one by one and try to read their minds, they will get frustrated and end up yelling and getting angry. However, if you take the initiative and give clear instructions, the anger will decrease and the children will not feel that their parents are suddenly getting angry.
Children also learn to give up quickly, thinking, "This is useless," and become emotionally comfortable.
If you try to explain and persuade your child one by one, the discipline will often be ineffective and your authority as a parent will be weakened.
If the condition is severe, both the parent and the child will fall into a pit of suffering, as the child will become stubborn and ignore the parent.


According to Professor Cho Sun-mi, “the essence of discipline is to frustrate the child.”
If a child is prevented from doing what he wants to do (a wrong behavior), he will experience 'frustration', and by enduring this frustration, he will develop self-reliance.
Parents should believe that their children are learning tools that they can use to navigate the world, and if they are determined to correct their behavior, they should be patient and correct them until their children follow suit.
For example, if a child does not stop misbehaving, such as hitting someone or throwing something, even after being told to do so several times, you should try to temporarily stop the behavior and restrain the activity through a 'time-out'.


While it is important to correct bad behavior, it is also very important to form good habits.
Developing good habits is like giving children the skills they need to thrive.
The most powerful way to form a habit is through repetition, so you need to start with something simple and make rules that you follow consistently.
One of the methods suggested in this book is the 'sticker system', which is not something very grandiose and can be easily tried by anyone.
Using praise stickers as a reward until the taught behavior becomes a habit is extremely effective.
If you apply the sticker system appropriately, you may find that children demonstrate much greater self-control than you might think.


Discipline methods that instill confidence in parents
"Moderately Indifferent Parenting" Instead of Overprotection and Excessive Interference

This book emphasizes the importance of setting boundaries and developing good habits, exploring parenting challenges through concrete examples and offering simple, clear solutions that can be implemented immediately.
From behavioral problems like throwing tantrums, whining, ignoring rules, acting out violently, and being clingy to their mother, to a variety of habitual issues like brushing teeth, sleeping, going to kindergarten, and playing games.
It goes through the most difficult and curious issues for parents one by one, and clearly provides the principles and know-how for successful discipline.


When a child is upset because they can't get what they want, should parents always try to make them feel better? Giving in to their child's every wish just because they're upset is a surefire way to ruin them.
The child demands more and more and becomes much more upset when something is not done.
Then what should we do?
Here are some things to remember:
Children develop mental strength by enduring things that don't go their way.
Excessive mind reading can make a child think that only his or her own feelings are important.
Professor Cho Sun-mi advises, “When emotions explode, give the child time until he or she can control his or her emotions on his or her own.”
He added, “Children of moderately indifferent parents tend to tolerate failure more indifferently.”


Readers who have read a lot of parenting books will understand this right away.
This book is designed to give parents confidence in parenting.
It provides a firm balance, reminding children that if they stick to the basics of “accept their feelings, but correct their behavior,” their children will grow up well without any problems.
Instead of making you think, 'Oh my, how can I do all this?', this is a book that makes you think, 'I can do this too.'

Although written in easy-to-understand, everyday language, the deeper context is based on scientific evidence. If you carefully consider each topic and apply it to your own real-world situation, it will serve as a valuable guide when you feel lost and confused.