Parents' Words to Empower Their Teenage Daughters
 |
Description
Book Introduction
How to help your teenage daughter
Should I tell you?
My lovely daughter, who I thought I would never hurt even if I put her in my eye, has been saying things like, “I’ll take care of it,” or “I’m busy right now,” and closing her door to spend time alone.
Parents are shocked by their child's sudden change in behavior and feel sad, wondering how they can restore their relationship to how it was before.
Author Lee Hyeon-jeong of "Parenting While Waiting" not only recorded cases of counseling her adolescent children, but also recorded conversations she had with her adolescent daughter when she said things she regretted and when her relationship with her child was restored.
After countless trials and errors, this book contains 38 ways to communicate without hurting each other's feelings.
The author says that parents also need to change their conversation style to help their daughters grow from children to adults.
Before puberty, we had conversations to 'make them understand', but during puberty, we need to 'help them figure it out on their own'.
As the purpose changes, the conversation must also change.
If you apply the 38 conversation techniques presented in this book to your situation, you will experience a different relationship with your daughter than before.
Should I tell you?
My lovely daughter, who I thought I would never hurt even if I put her in my eye, has been saying things like, “I’ll take care of it,” or “I’m busy right now,” and closing her door to spend time alone.
Parents are shocked by their child's sudden change in behavior and feel sad, wondering how they can restore their relationship to how it was before.
Author Lee Hyeon-jeong of "Parenting While Waiting" not only recorded cases of counseling her adolescent children, but also recorded conversations she had with her adolescent daughter when she said things she regretted and when her relationship with her child was restored.
After countless trials and errors, this book contains 38 ways to communicate without hurting each other's feelings.
The author says that parents also need to change their conversation style to help their daughters grow from children to adults.
Before puberty, we had conversations to 'make them understand', but during puberty, we need to 'help them figure it out on their own'.
As the purpose changes, the conversation must also change.
If you apply the 38 conversation techniques presented in this book to your situation, you will experience a different relationship with your daughter than before.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
[Starting] Puberty, the child has changed.
Part 1.
Understanding Your Daughter's Puberty: This Is How
Chapter 1.
Puberty, my child's childhood summoned
Chapter 2.
My daughter's puberty, stage by stage
Chapter 3.
4 Powers to Help Your Adolescent Flower Bloom
Chapter 4.
10 Rules for Talking to Your Teenage Daughter
Part 2.
38 Ways to Talk to Your Teenage Daughter Without Getting Hurt
Chapter 1.
study habits
1.
“I'll take care of it.”
A daughter who doesn't want to be interfered with when making her study plans.
2.
“I need a smartphone to study.”
My daughter's learning is interrupted by digital devices.
3.
“I was just getting started.”
My daughter gets angry because she doesn't study as she planned and instead does other things.
4.
“I feel like I’m going to fail this test.”
A daughter who gives up easily, making excuses about not having enough time.
5.
“I guess I don’t have the brains to study.”
A daughter frustrated with her grades
6.
“It’s unfair that the group scores are the same.
I don't want to do it anymore either"
My daughter is very dissatisfied with her group assignments and group scores.
7.
“All my friends go to the reading room.
“I want to go too”
A daughter who is swept away by her friends without a clear goal in studying.
Chapter 2.
daily habits
8.
“Just do better next time.”
My daughter keeps putting off things she needs to do and is under the spell of 'later'
9.
“That’s not me”
A daughter who lies unconsciously
10.
“I don’t want to do it, it’s annoying and bothersome.”
A daughter who is listless in everything due to depression
11.
“What if I make another mistake?”
A daughter who is overly anxious about everything
12.
“Oh, it’s okay if it’s a little late, but why do you keep rushing me?”
A daughter who doesn't keep appointments, is late, and refuses to be interfered with.
13.
“I’m annoyed by my homeroom teacher.”
A daughter who goes on and on about her teacher, going beyond the line of gossip.
14.
“I’m so annoyed, why are you yelling at me?”
A daughter who spews foul language
Chapter 3.
Relationship with parents
15.
“Even Mom doesn’t know anyway.”
A daughter who ignores her parents and is disgusted by their scolding
16.
“It’s up to me whether I lock the door or not.
“Please leave me alone”
A daughter locks the door and refuses her parents access.
17.
“Just do it, Mom.”
A daughter who blames all her emotional problems on her parents because she doesn't want to take responsibility for them.
18.
“Why don’t you believe me?”
A daughter who insists that what she says is always right
19.
“It’s not just me.
“All kids are like that!”
A daughter who refuses to admit her mistakes and uses her friends as an excuse to say everything is okay.
20.
“Mom doesn’t need to know.”
A daughter who tries to hide her daily life, thoughts, and feelings from her parents.
Chapter 4.
Relationships with friends
21.
“What if the kids don’t include me?”
My daughter is having a hard time fitting in with her new school friends.
22.
“If you want to play together, I can do it.”
A daughter who cannot refuse her friend's request
23.
“All the kids have Instagram, so why can’t I?”
My daughter is obsessed with social media for fear of being left out of her relationship.
24.
“Mom doesn’t know him well.
“Whether you play or not, I’ll do it.”
A daughter who doesn't understand her parents' concerns about her relationship with a friend who seems to be a troublemaker.
25.
“Buy me that too.
“All the kids are here”
A daughter who envies what her peers have and unconditionally pursues them.
Chapter 5.
Body changes
26.
“Why am I so ugly?”
A daughter who belittles her own appearance
27.
“I wish I were popular too.”
A daughter blindly obsessed with popularity
28.
“I’m so embarrassed because of my acne.
“I don’t want to go out”
A daughter who has a negative view of her body's changes during puberty
29.
“I wish Dad would just stop caring about me.”
A daughter who shows allergic symptoms toward her opposite-sex parent after developing secondary sexual characteristics
Chapter 6.
Multimedia usage habits
30.
“I feel anxious without my smartphone.”
My daughter shows anxiety symptoms when she doesn't have her smartphone.
31.
“Oh, that’s so good.
“I just want to see my brothers all the time.”
My daughter fell into the trap of being a fan
32.
“Why aren’t my posts getting likes?”
My daughter is obsessed with 'likes' and addicted to social media.
33.
“Even kids see scenes like this.”
A proud daughter watching a video with a high level of exposure and a webtoon
34.
“I don’t feel like going out.
I'll just stay home"
My daughter refuses to have any hobbies other than online games.
Chapter 7.
Future hopes
35.
“I don’t have a dream.
“Is this okay?”
A daughter who wanders without a goal
36.
“That’s incredibly difficult to achieve.
Then I won't do it."
A daughter who is afraid of failure and frustration in advance
37.
“As long as it’s a job that pays well, that’s fine.”
A daughter who thinks she'll be happy if she just has money
38.
“I’m not good at anything.”
A daughter who lost confidence because she didn't know her strengths
[In conclusion] On a refreshing spring day, a child spoke to me.
[Daughter's Story] A Precious Time We Must Pass Through
Part 1.
Understanding Your Daughter's Puberty: This Is How
Chapter 1.
Puberty, my child's childhood summoned
Chapter 2.
My daughter's puberty, stage by stage
Chapter 3.
4 Powers to Help Your Adolescent Flower Bloom
Chapter 4.
10 Rules for Talking to Your Teenage Daughter
Part 2.
38 Ways to Talk to Your Teenage Daughter Without Getting Hurt
Chapter 1.
study habits
1.
“I'll take care of it.”
A daughter who doesn't want to be interfered with when making her study plans.
2.
“I need a smartphone to study.”
My daughter's learning is interrupted by digital devices.
3.
“I was just getting started.”
My daughter gets angry because she doesn't study as she planned and instead does other things.
4.
“I feel like I’m going to fail this test.”
A daughter who gives up easily, making excuses about not having enough time.
5.
“I guess I don’t have the brains to study.”
A daughter frustrated with her grades
6.
“It’s unfair that the group scores are the same.
I don't want to do it anymore either"
My daughter is very dissatisfied with her group assignments and group scores.
7.
“All my friends go to the reading room.
“I want to go too”
A daughter who is swept away by her friends without a clear goal in studying.
Chapter 2.
daily habits
8.
“Just do better next time.”
My daughter keeps putting off things she needs to do and is under the spell of 'later'
9.
“That’s not me”
A daughter who lies unconsciously
10.
“I don’t want to do it, it’s annoying and bothersome.”
A daughter who is listless in everything due to depression
11.
“What if I make another mistake?”
A daughter who is overly anxious about everything
12.
“Oh, it’s okay if it’s a little late, but why do you keep rushing me?”
A daughter who doesn't keep appointments, is late, and refuses to be interfered with.
13.
“I’m annoyed by my homeroom teacher.”
A daughter who goes on and on about her teacher, going beyond the line of gossip.
14.
“I’m so annoyed, why are you yelling at me?”
A daughter who spews foul language
Chapter 3.
Relationship with parents
15.
“Even Mom doesn’t know anyway.”
A daughter who ignores her parents and is disgusted by their scolding
16.
“It’s up to me whether I lock the door or not.
“Please leave me alone”
A daughter locks the door and refuses her parents access.
17.
“Just do it, Mom.”
A daughter who blames all her emotional problems on her parents because she doesn't want to take responsibility for them.
18.
“Why don’t you believe me?”
A daughter who insists that what she says is always right
19.
“It’s not just me.
“All kids are like that!”
A daughter who refuses to admit her mistakes and uses her friends as an excuse to say everything is okay.
20.
“Mom doesn’t need to know.”
A daughter who tries to hide her daily life, thoughts, and feelings from her parents.
Chapter 4.
Relationships with friends
21.
“What if the kids don’t include me?”
My daughter is having a hard time fitting in with her new school friends.
22.
“If you want to play together, I can do it.”
A daughter who cannot refuse her friend's request
23.
“All the kids have Instagram, so why can’t I?”
My daughter is obsessed with social media for fear of being left out of her relationship.
24.
“Mom doesn’t know him well.
“Whether you play or not, I’ll do it.”
A daughter who doesn't understand her parents' concerns about her relationship with a friend who seems to be a troublemaker.
25.
“Buy me that too.
“All the kids are here”
A daughter who envies what her peers have and unconditionally pursues them.
Chapter 5.
Body changes
26.
“Why am I so ugly?”
A daughter who belittles her own appearance
27.
“I wish I were popular too.”
A daughter blindly obsessed with popularity
28.
“I’m so embarrassed because of my acne.
“I don’t want to go out”
A daughter who has a negative view of her body's changes during puberty
29.
“I wish Dad would just stop caring about me.”
A daughter who shows allergic symptoms toward her opposite-sex parent after developing secondary sexual characteristics
Chapter 6.
Multimedia usage habits
30.
“I feel anxious without my smartphone.”
My daughter shows anxiety symptoms when she doesn't have her smartphone.
31.
“Oh, that’s so good.
“I just want to see my brothers all the time.”
My daughter fell into the trap of being a fan
32.
“Why aren’t my posts getting likes?”
My daughter is obsessed with 'likes' and addicted to social media.
33.
“Even kids see scenes like this.”
A proud daughter watching a video with a high level of exposure and a webtoon
34.
“I don’t feel like going out.
I'll just stay home"
My daughter refuses to have any hobbies other than online games.
Chapter 7.
Future hopes
35.
“I don’t have a dream.
“Is this okay?”
A daughter who wanders without a goal
36.
“That’s incredibly difficult to achieve.
Then I won't do it."
A daughter who is afraid of failure and frustration in advance
37.
“As long as it’s a job that pays well, that’s fine.”
A daughter who thinks she'll be happy if she just has money
38.
“I’m not good at anything.”
A daughter who lost confidence because she didn't know her strengths
[In conclusion] On a refreshing spring day, a child spoke to me.
[Daughter's Story] A Precious Time We Must Pass Through
Detailed image
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Into the book
An age where I ride an emotional roller coaster twelve times a day and burst out laughing over trivial things.
A time of confusion where I was even more confused because of my own disturbed emotions and my personality kept changing depending on the situation, to the point where I began to wonder if I had multiple personalities.
My child, who feels like the world is only looking at him and is having the most fun and excitement when he is with his friends, is continuing to grow in the name of puberty.
---p.28
Depending on how you spend your early and middle adolescence, your child's attitude during late adolescence will noticeably change.
Because through the achievements made in the midst of conflict and crisis, you will make them your own and complete a clear inner motivation.
The process of finding one's true self through trial and error, questioning and remaining in conflict is like a beautiful flower bud in adolescence.
---p.33
There is a saying that the opposite of success is not failure, but experience.
We should not view children as going through a series of trials and failures, but as a process of building continuous experiences and progressing toward perfection.
Children who have been strengthened through these experiences will be equipped with the resilience to use their current experiences as a springboard to jump even higher.
You will be ready to become such a wonderful adult.
---p.42
First, acknowledge your child's desire to study hard and get good grades.
It doesn't matter if you don't get good grades.
The child has higher expectations for his/her grades than the mother and is working hard to achieve them.
The problem is that I don't know how to study specifically during the study process.
---p.82
“It’s obvious at first glance that you did it, but how can you lie without even blinking an eye?
What are you trying to become by doing this? Mom said lying is what she hates the most.
“You didn’t do it?”
---p.107
“It’s because you’re going through puberty” or “Other kids aren’t like that, so why are you the only one who’s like that?” are not the right attitudes.
The child is very anxious because he or she is dominated by the thought that he or she does not know why he or she is doing this.
Find out your daughter's current condition based on her temperament and personality.
---p.114
It's not a bad thing to let your daughter experience that the world is always kind and perfect relationships are a fantasy.
Use this as an opportunity to develop the ability to see the world as it is, without being negative.
---p.132
'I want to believe in the child.
I just asked to confirm because I wanted to believe, but the child got upset and asked why I didn't believe him and didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I didn't blatantly suspect her, and if I was curious, shouldn't I have asked? Of course, I remember my daughter occasionally lying in the past, but I didn't blatantly suspect her, so why are you so upset and resentful?
I'm so scared of my teenage daughter that I can't say anything I want anymore.'
A time of confusion where I was even more confused because of my own disturbed emotions and my personality kept changing depending on the situation, to the point where I began to wonder if I had multiple personalities.
My child, who feels like the world is only looking at him and is having the most fun and excitement when he is with his friends, is continuing to grow in the name of puberty.
---p.28
Depending on how you spend your early and middle adolescence, your child's attitude during late adolescence will noticeably change.
Because through the achievements made in the midst of conflict and crisis, you will make them your own and complete a clear inner motivation.
The process of finding one's true self through trial and error, questioning and remaining in conflict is like a beautiful flower bud in adolescence.
---p.33
There is a saying that the opposite of success is not failure, but experience.
We should not view children as going through a series of trials and failures, but as a process of building continuous experiences and progressing toward perfection.
Children who have been strengthened through these experiences will be equipped with the resilience to use their current experiences as a springboard to jump even higher.
You will be ready to become such a wonderful adult.
---p.42
First, acknowledge your child's desire to study hard and get good grades.
It doesn't matter if you don't get good grades.
The child has higher expectations for his/her grades than the mother and is working hard to achieve them.
The problem is that I don't know how to study specifically during the study process.
---p.82
“It’s obvious at first glance that you did it, but how can you lie without even blinking an eye?
What are you trying to become by doing this? Mom said lying is what she hates the most.
“You didn’t do it?”
---p.107
“It’s because you’re going through puberty” or “Other kids aren’t like that, so why are you the only one who’s like that?” are not the right attitudes.
The child is very anxious because he or she is dominated by the thought that he or she does not know why he or she is doing this.
Find out your daughter's current condition based on her temperament and personality.
---p.114
It's not a bad thing to let your daughter experience that the world is always kind and perfect relationships are a fantasy.
Use this as an opportunity to develop the ability to see the world as it is, without being negative.
---p.132
'I want to believe in the child.
I just asked to confirm because I wanted to believe, but the child got upset and asked why I didn't believe him and didn't want to talk to me anymore.
I didn't blatantly suspect her, and if I was curious, shouldn't I have asked? Of course, I remember my daughter occasionally lying in the past, but I didn't blatantly suspect her, so why are you so upset and resentful?
I'm so scared of my teenage daughter that I can't say anything I want anymore.'
---pp.157~158
Publisher's Review
A word that opens and closes a relationship
That's why we need to study language!
A child who has reached puberty announces separation from his parents.
I am practicing to become an 'adult' who can choose and make decisions about his own life, from a 'child' who was dependent and immature.
So, your teenage daughter wants to show off that she can do things on her own.
A parent wants to make sure their child walks a path of flowers no matter what sacrifices are required, but the child is walking a path that is the complete opposite of their parents' wishes.
Author Hyunjeong Lee, an influencer with 5 million cumulative visits, says that the way you talk to your teenage daughter should be different.
The author, having prepared by reading numerous parenting books and related books while raising her teenage daughter, believed that her daughter, as well as herself, would be different.
Even though I was aware of my daughter's physical and behavioral changes, I couldn't help but be taken aback by her sudden change in appearance.
While counseling many parents who were struggling with their relationships with their adolescent children through my blog, I pondered over 'how to communicate with adolescents' for a long time, and the author, after much trial and error while raising an adolescent daughter, wrote this book.
In particular, I recorded all the days when I fought with my child while talking, as well as the days when I restored my relationship through conversation.
This book is divided into two parts, and Part 2 consists of 7 chapters and 38 conversation methods, including 'Study Habits', 'Daily Habits', 'Relationships with Parents', 'Relationships with Friends', 'Body Changes', 'Multimedia Usage Habits', and 'Future Hopes'.
Because I've compiled the most common conversations I have with my teenage daughters, you'll be able to tailor the solutions presented in this book to your child's unique needs and develop your own unique way of communicating with her through puberty.
Through what my daughter heard during this time,
Create a standard for your life!
Puberty is a time of crisis for parents, but for daughters, it is a time when beautiful flower buds can bloom.
Although it may seem like she is acting wildly in her parents' eyes, the daughter is developing four strengths: self-direction, self-control, self-efficacy, and resilience.
Therefore, parents should talk to their daughters with principles in mind, keeping in mind the different goals than before.
This book also presents four strengths that teenage daughters will gain, along with ten principles parents should keep in mind when talking to their daughters.
No matter how well-intentioned a parent may be when starting a conversation, the child may feel uncomfortable.
Parents also need to change their conversation style and attitude to accommodate their changing child.
It may seem like nothing special, but the author emphasizes that it is the root of the most basic conversation.
If you have any difficulties communicating with your daughter at any given moment, it will be of great help if you approach it based on this principle.
Principle 1.
Concisely
Please convey the main points simply in one or two words.
Principle 2.
Conclusion first
The specific way I talk to my daughter makes her think I'm nagging her.
Principle 3.
No questions allowed
The daughter takes the lead in the conversation.
Please answer the question your daughter asks first.
Principle 4.
Resolutely
When stating a principle that must be followed, a firm look and tone of voice are effective.
Principle 5.
Affectionately
Please remain affectionate except in situations where you need to be firm.
Principle 6.
Pat
Pat them on the shoulder and pat them on the head with some praise.
Principle 7.
firmly
Don't be hurt by your daughter's changed appearance.
Principle 8.
The decision is yours
Let your daughter take responsibility for her own choices and decisions.
Principle 9.
Empathize
No matter how unpleasant the words may be, please try to empathize with them.
Principle 10.
Knock
Please convey to your daughter that you respect her.
That's why we need to study language!
A child who has reached puberty announces separation from his parents.
I am practicing to become an 'adult' who can choose and make decisions about his own life, from a 'child' who was dependent and immature.
So, your teenage daughter wants to show off that she can do things on her own.
A parent wants to make sure their child walks a path of flowers no matter what sacrifices are required, but the child is walking a path that is the complete opposite of their parents' wishes.
Author Hyunjeong Lee, an influencer with 5 million cumulative visits, says that the way you talk to your teenage daughter should be different.
The author, having prepared by reading numerous parenting books and related books while raising her teenage daughter, believed that her daughter, as well as herself, would be different.
Even though I was aware of my daughter's physical and behavioral changes, I couldn't help but be taken aback by her sudden change in appearance.
While counseling many parents who were struggling with their relationships with their adolescent children through my blog, I pondered over 'how to communicate with adolescents' for a long time, and the author, after much trial and error while raising an adolescent daughter, wrote this book.
In particular, I recorded all the days when I fought with my child while talking, as well as the days when I restored my relationship through conversation.
This book is divided into two parts, and Part 2 consists of 7 chapters and 38 conversation methods, including 'Study Habits', 'Daily Habits', 'Relationships with Parents', 'Relationships with Friends', 'Body Changes', 'Multimedia Usage Habits', and 'Future Hopes'.
Because I've compiled the most common conversations I have with my teenage daughters, you'll be able to tailor the solutions presented in this book to your child's unique needs and develop your own unique way of communicating with her through puberty.
Through what my daughter heard during this time,
Create a standard for your life!
Puberty is a time of crisis for parents, but for daughters, it is a time when beautiful flower buds can bloom.
Although it may seem like she is acting wildly in her parents' eyes, the daughter is developing four strengths: self-direction, self-control, self-efficacy, and resilience.
Therefore, parents should talk to their daughters with principles in mind, keeping in mind the different goals than before.
This book also presents four strengths that teenage daughters will gain, along with ten principles parents should keep in mind when talking to their daughters.
No matter how well-intentioned a parent may be when starting a conversation, the child may feel uncomfortable.
Parents also need to change their conversation style and attitude to accommodate their changing child.
It may seem like nothing special, but the author emphasizes that it is the root of the most basic conversation.
If you have any difficulties communicating with your daughter at any given moment, it will be of great help if you approach it based on this principle.
Principle 1.
Concisely
Please convey the main points simply in one or two words.
Principle 2.
Conclusion first
The specific way I talk to my daughter makes her think I'm nagging her.
Principle 3.
No questions allowed
The daughter takes the lead in the conversation.
Please answer the question your daughter asks first.
Principle 4.
Resolutely
When stating a principle that must be followed, a firm look and tone of voice are effective.
Principle 5.
Affectionately
Please remain affectionate except in situations where you need to be firm.
Principle 6.
Pat
Pat them on the shoulder and pat them on the head with some praise.
Principle 7.
firmly
Don't be hurt by your daughter's changed appearance.
Principle 8.
The decision is yours
Let your daughter take responsibility for her own choices and decisions.
Principle 9.
Empathize
No matter how unpleasant the words may be, please try to empathize with them.
Principle 10.
Knock
Please convey to your daughter that you respect her.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: April 24, 2023
- Page count, weight, size: 292 pages | 482g | 145*210*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791192625409
- ISBN10: 1192625404
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