A senior who has been married for 12 years
Realistic and warm advice

The title of the book, "Preparing for the Wedding, But Not Marriage," is enough to make you think, "That's right, I think I was like that too!" and think about marriage again.
Regarding this book, which has the subtitle “Realistic and warm advice from a senior who has been married for 12 years,” author Kim Soo-hyun said, “I tried hard to have a good family, but when I stopped and looked back after 10 years of marriage, my life was a mess.
“I had the life I wanted, but I was living in a reality that was different from that life, and I wanted to fix it before it was too late, so I explored married life belatedly.”

In Chapter 1, we take time to think about ‘marriage’ itself.
We need time to think about marriage.
I'm going to think about my definition of marriage, my own meaning, and the reasons and ideals for marriage.
Chapters 2-4 are about the elements and processes necessary to become the master of marriage.
It talks about the importance of standing independently, recognizing oneself, and forming a relationship as a couple, and helps them become the masters of their marriage.
The last five chapters contain the skills needed to get married and live well with your spouse.
The art of marriage is not about methods, but about the heart and attitude.
It may seem like a small tip, but if you put it into practice, it can make a big difference in your relationships and life.


Author Kim Soo-hyun said, “I spent the last years of my 20s preparing for marriage, feeling lost and lost. I thought, ‘How great would it have been if I had an older sister to whisper to me about marriage?’” and added, “I hope this book can be that kind of older sister (or sister-in-law) for you.”
Meanwhile, in the book talk held to commemorate the publication of "Preparing for the Wedding, but Not Marriage," there will be a special time to write "My Own Wedding Note," which is included in the appendix, with 10 questions and 10 answers and coaching from author Kim.

I thought marriage was the high pass to happiness.
I truly dreamed of a good married life, so I worked hard for it.
But I wasn't happy.

--- p.18

I thought that if we just got married and started living together, happiness would come naturally.
But it took a long time for me to realize it.
That preparation is necessary even before marriage.

--- p.19

The concerns people have about marriage are simple.
I just worry about my choice, thinking, 'Should I do it?' or 'Should I not do it?'
But what we really need to think about is the deep reflection on the element of 'marriage' itself.

--- p.21

To conquer this rapidly changing marriage, you must first become familiar with the thing called 'marriage'.
We need to learn more, study more deeply, and prepare better.
Knowing how marriage is changing in each era can help you use it to your advantage.

--- p.25

Many people blame marriage.
“I think, ‘If only I hadn’t married that person, if only I had chosen him over that person, I wouldn’t have been unhappy.’”
As if I would have been happy if I hadn't gotten married.
They feel unhappy because of their marriage and blame everything on their spouse.
But that's just a combination of my cognitive errors and distortions.

--- p.26

Marriage has changed.
Now it's time to choose for yourself and make it your own.
Because it is not a natural procedure that everyone does, you can create your own special life.
Marriage is not something you regret doing or not doing, it is something you can do or not do.
It is 'me' who makes it happen.

--- p.27

Marriage does not just mean a wedding or living together in a house.
All of this falls under the larger category of 'marriage'.
The real point is missing.
Marriage is 'life' itself.
We need to think about 'me', 'you', and 'us' who are leading a new life called marriage.

--- p.29

Preparing for marriage is not something that can be done overnight, but rather something that must be done slowly over a long period of time.

--- p.30

If you look for it, you will find many pre-marital education programs offered for free or for a fee.

--- p.31

When you get married, things you didn't know about begin to show up one after another like sweet potato vines.

--- p.32

There is a Russian proverb that says, "Pray once before going to sea, pray twice before going to war, and pray three times before getting married."
How powerful must marriage be for there to be proverbs like these?
But that prayer should not be said three times, but every day.
--- p.33

Marriage was not a combination of two halves.
One perfect being meets another perfect being
It was a matter of creating synergy.
Marriage is not about half (me) + half (you) = one (us), but rather 1 (me) + 1 (you) = 2 (us).

--- p.37

Marriage is about having children with someone you love and living a happy and fulfilling life.
This is my own, very personal definition.
I hope you too will find your own definition.

--- p.39

Why do you want to get married? Any reason is fine.
After all, life is lived for one's own reasons, and there is no one who can say that those reasons are wrong.
At least I know myself.
--- p.41

'Why do I want to get married?'
'Why do I want to marry this person?'
Ask me and I'll answer honestly.
Let's remember our reasons and create a marriage that suits our purpose.

--- p.47

The definition of a happy marriage and a harmonious family lies within oneself.
Let's not compare ourselves to the handsome princes in fairy tales, the pretty couples in dramas, or the well-off families on social media.
It's degrading my marriage, which is perfectly fine and good enough.

--- p.49