Just changing the way you play can change your child.
Child-led play that changes the future of children aged 3 to 7

When asked, "Is playing with your child fun?" most mothers shake their heads.
However, play in early childhood is very important.
Through play, children feel their mother's love, gain confidence, and learn all the skills they need to function in society.
Both initiative and social skills are learned through play with mother.
However, mothers find it difficult to play with their children.
I feel like I need to make playing fun for my child, but I don't know how, and if my child's emotions explode during play, playing becomes burdensome.
How should I play?

The answer lies in child-led play, play where the child takes the initiative rather than the mother leading. PCIT is a parent-child interaction therapy.
Improve children's problem behaviors by coaching parents on how to interact appropriately.
This book details child-led interaction, a play technique used in PCIT to form attachment between parents and children.
We explained what parents should not say or do during child-led play, what techniques they should use, and what social and emotional impact these techniques have on the child.
It also helps parents understand their children's behavior by introducing real-life examples of changes that occurred through coaching, along with the principles.


Just by changing the way you play, your child will change.
It contains mother-style play therapy techniques that can make children happy without the help of a professional.
Through this book, you will discover special play techniques that can help your child develop self-esteem, social skills, initiative, and even language skills.

Secure attachment is like a solid foundation that must be laid before a building can be erected.
Just as you need to cultivate the soil to make flowers bloom, a child must first establish a stable attachment with their parents to develop a sound personality and realize their potential.
A child who is emotionally healthy, bright and easy-going, confident in his or her own thoughts, curious and creative, and who gets along well with peers and demonstrates leadership.
If you want your child to grow up to be this kind of person, remember that the first step is to form a secure attachment with your parents.

--- p.38

Secure attachment is formed when we are sensitive and respond appropriately to these two need systems (attachment = connection, exploration = separation).
So, as the cycle of connection → separation → connection → separation with the mother is repeated, the child becomes bold and grows up healthily.
Get strength from your mother and go out into the world, if you feel anxious, come back and hold your mother in your arms, gather courage and go out again, if you feel scared, come back and feel reassured, and take another step forward…
Through this process, the child becomes stable and confident.

--- p.44

A child who does not know how to find fun on his own becomes dependent on someone else.

“Mom, I’m bored.”
“Mom, what am I doing?”
A child who whines that he is bored is unable to find fun on his own.
You'll either find a friend to whine to or have fun with.
The ability to actively seek out and explore interests is weakened.
Having fun playing means you are concentrating on the game.
In other words, you experience immersion through the joy of play.
These experiences also lead to learning.
Children who are immersed in play develop the ability to focus on learning.

--- p.83

In this way, in ‘child-led play’, the mother does the work for the child and stops telling the child what to do.
Let your child think and act.
Even if you just lay the train rails in a straight line, Mom won't let you make curves as she pleases.
Even if you can make a nicer and longer rail by using curves together, it doesn't invade the child's thinking.
The idea is to keep drawing straight lines until the child discovers that a curved line can be drawn longer.
Because children's thinking expands and they experience a sense of accomplishment and growth only when they discover things on their own.

--- p.92

The purpose of praise is to change a child's behavior in a positive way and to increase self-esteem.
You can achieve your goals by specifically praising small, everyday actions.
Change begins with play.
Mothers practice praising their children during child-led play.
As you practice praising your child for every little action, you will soon see changes in your child.

--- p.125

No matter how many means are used - threats, intimidation, warnings, explanations - the child will not calm down.
To be consistent, you need to separate your emotions.
To maintain consistency, you have to stop all the methods your mother used.
A child's crying and tantrums are an instinctive attempt to get his needs met.
It's natural for children to feel uncomfortable when things don't go their way.
When parents react to their child's emotions, it becomes difficult to maintain consistency. They must ignore the child's feelings.

--- p.137

A parenting attitude that allows a child to have his or her own desires is good.
However, excessive permissiveness is toxic to the child.
It may seem like it will foster autonomy and spontaneity, but it actually makes the child anxious.
The child is never satisfied.
The desires increase and the intensity of the irritation gradually increases.

--- p.188