Recommendation _04
Introduction_12

Part 1: Things to Consider Before Fighting

1.
How was our conversation so far? _18
'You', 'People', 'We', and 'I' _20
Actively listen to your child! _27
Beware of obstacles that interrupt the conversation! _35

2.
The Role of Emotions in Conversation _43
Listen with all four ears: This is how misunderstandings arise _45
Discouragement and Disappointment: A Hotbed of Conflict _50
Understanding and Acknowledging Your Child's Emotions _52

3.
Let your child know what lines they shouldn't cross _54
Affectionately and clearly saying “No!” _56
The battle is about to begin! _59
Stop counting - one, two, three! _65
What should I do if the fight gets bigger? _68

4.
Setting Rules for Family Members _74
How to Set Family Rules _75
Our Attitude to Establishing Good Rules _76
Children learn by seeing results _78
Don't feel guilty! _85

5.
Parents are mediators, not judges! _87
If you were to take on the role of dispute mediator _88
Questions are like wide open doors _91
Nonviolent Communication - The Language of the Giraffe _93

6.
We are holding a family meeting _96
When is a good time to have a family meeting? _97
For a democratic and equal family council _101

Part 2: How to Resolve Conflicts in Everyday Life

1.
"Have You Seen My Crayons?" - Growing Up with the Desire for Independence _106
I think being late has become a habit _108
I don't take care of my own stuff _111
The Morning and Evening Toothbrushing War _116
Fueling the Passion of a Young Pianist _118
I suddenly don't want to go to school _122

2.
"Why Always Me!" - Duty and Responsibility _126
Annoying Housework _128
Who Cares for Pets? _133
A Messy Child's Room _137

3.
"Mom and Dad were really bad!" - Anger, Complaints, Lies, and Provocation _143
Masters of Sarcasm and Provocation _144
A commotion at every mealtime _148
All the other kids have it _155
Children's Swearing and Misuse _159
Outbursts of anger and violent outbursts _164
Children's Natural Lies _170
The atmosphere suddenly becomes tense _174

4.
"He started it first!" - Siblings' Fight _180
Every day, the whole house is a battlefield! _182
You're an idiot! No, you're even more of an idiot! _186
Tug-of-War for Parental Love _192

5.
"I don't want to go to school!" - Academic Stress _201
The phrase "student obligations" is useless _202
Heavy Rain Advisory! Rainy Exam Paper _209
You skipped school? _215

6.
"Are you really friends with him?" - Problematic Friend _220
Is this friendship okay? _221
A rather gruesome elementary school jungle _225
School Violence and Cyberbullying _230

7.
"Just leave me alone and rest!" - The boy who just stays in his room _237
Always-on bright screen _239
Internet addiction? _245
When your child is in low power mode all day _252

8.
"Mom and Dad don't understand me at all!" - Puberty has begun! _259
Oh, I'm so embarrassed because of Mom and Dad! _261
What the hell are you doing in the bathroom? _266
You're going out wearing those clothes? _271
Smartphone! Smartphone! Smartphone! _275
Have you already spent all your allowance? _281
Where have you been all this time? _285
Do you smoke? _289

Acknowledgements _298
Footnote _299

You don't want to fight with your child?
Unfortunately, there is no way to avoid fighting with your child.

There are hundreds of reasons why parents fight with their children.
Moreover, the tantrums of children in their early puberty years are very different from those of children in their early puberty years, when they are about to enter school and are starting to wear school uniforms.
Not only is the child's attitude and tone of speech toward his or her parents completely different, but the causes and ways in which arguments unfold are also completely different.
However, if you look at all parenting books, they say, "If you do this, you can avoid fights," ignoring the special characteristics of the child's age or situation.
Amidst the flood of hopeful solutions, Rita Steininger, author of "One More Word, One Less," says:


“Illusions are forbidden.
“You can’t live without conflict with your child.” - Page 274

There are few words more devastating to a parent who has decided they don't want to fight with their child anymore.
There's no way to avoid this brutal war! But think about it.
Even friends who've been friends for 20 years, or even siblings who've shared a lifelong relationship, can be torn apart by a single, trivial remark. Is there really such a thing as a relationship without conflict? Perhaps the reason we fight so frequently is because I've forced my child to follow my every word, or perhaps I've made them feel that way in my conversations.

There are ways to fight with your child 'smartly'.
Remember, "One more word, one less word."

"Just One More Word, Just One Less Word" tells parents that conflict cannot be avoided, so instead learn to fight wisely.
In other words, you need to know how to stop a conversation mid-conversation so that conflict doesn't escalate into a stalemate, how to offer advice to your child without it sounding like criticism, and how to fairly set boundaries that neither side should cross!

“How was our conversation so far?” - Page 18

We grew up hearing things like, "Why are you doing that? What will other people think? We agreed not to do that!"
Future generations may be different, but at least at this point, we as parents have had that conversation, and thanks to that, we try to teach and care for our children from beginning to end, saying, “It’s all for you.”
But is everything we say to our children truly for their own benefit? When their children engage in behavioral problems, many parents resort to saying the same things we heard our own parents say when we were children.
“Please be quiet.
“People are uncomfortable.”

Here, the author emphasizes that if you feel uncomfortable with your child's behavior, it is because of the discomfort felt by the parents, so you should clearly tell the child, "This is how I feel, so please don't do it."
This means that if you talk to your child in a sentence that puts you, the parent, first rather than using "you" followed by "other people" or negative words, the entire sentence will change.

Parenting that truly respects children begins with recognizing them as equal beings.
If there is a problem with the behavior, you need to point out exactly what aspect of the behavior made you feel that way.
If you lost your temper and hurt your child, you should be honest and clearly state what you did wrong and apologize.
If you change the sentences you spit out, your tone of voice and attitude will naturally change.


“It may seem like only a slight difference, but your nonverbal attitudes will be very different.” - Page 115


A surprisingly Korean example, with a solution that fits our home perfectly.
The core of parenting education theory that is easy to understand and quick to learn!

In "Just One More Word, Just One Less Word," you'll find solutions ranging from the core of parenting theory to practical parenting techniques, including how to conduct family meetings to establish rules, how to mediate sibling fights, how to listen to your child, how to practice non-violent language, and how to properly help your child with schoolwork or clean their room.

What's amazing about author Rita Steininger is that she explains all these theories and solutions in an easy-to-understand way, with over 40 example situations.
The author's stories, so familiar that you might wonder, "Is this really a German author? Isn't that the story from last night at home?" The stories, along with the refreshing solutions, resonate with readers throughout the book.
It also clearly organizes parenting guidelines and conversation methods that were vaguely known until now so that you can follow them right now.

Even if the words are the same, if the vessel containing the words is different, the child will perceive them completely differently.
The author suggests various ways to create a good "verbal vessel" that can properly convey what you want to your child without biting the tail or hurting them.
If you find the right fit for you through "Just One More Word, Just One Less Word," you've already learned half of how to "fight wisely" with your children.