I just said a word
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Description
Book Introduction
We must become 'comfortable' people, not 'comfortable' people. A conversation method that closes the distance between you and the other person while protecting yourself There is one thing in common among the TV programs that have been aired recently and are causing a big stir. It deals with situations where problems arise in human relationships due to incorrect communication methods. Programs such as “I’m SOLO,” “My Precious Child These Days,” and “High School Mom Dad” feature ordinary people appearing and candidly show relationships between men and women, parents and children, and couples. There are many reasons why performers experience conflict, but in fact, most problems stem from incorrect conversation skills. For those watching on screen, frustrating and frustrating situations are often created, but let's think about it again. Are we really communicating better than the people on the screen? "Just a Word" introduces a simple and perfect formula for conversation that will make interpersonal relationships easier for those who find it difficult to initiate conversation with others or feel they are unable to communicate properly in close relationships. The small talk formula, taught by Lim Cheol-woong, Korea's only expert in psychological engineering, is the key to solving all problems arising from interpersonal relationships with just a few simple words. |
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index
Prologue: The Sense of Conversation Is More Important Than the Five Senses
Chapter 1: A person who makes you feel good just by talking to him
The power of conversation to make life easier
Why on earth would that person say something like that?
Do you really have to say it out loud?
A person with discernment is welcome everywhere.
Chapter 2 Did you think before you spoke?
If you don't want to get into trouble by pretending to know something
Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable with this conversation?
We're not at a point where we can say that yet, but
The mistake of trying to break the silence and taking a risk
Mind Control for Perfect Conversation
Chapter 3: The Small Talk Formula to Win Hearts in One Word
The secret to increasing favorability on a first date
Formula 1: Tell the other person about yourself.
Formula 2: Break your opponent's words down into nano-sized pieces.
Formula 3: Choose a topic that will completely change the mood.
Formula 4: Make the obvious special.
Chapter 4: This is how people who speak well talk
One reaction is worth more than a hundred words.
Should we talk about this now?
If you don't want to be a parrot that only says the same thing
If you don't know what to talk about, just memorize this.
A practical simulation for those who are afraid of conversation.
Smart Ways to Deal with People Who Treat You Coldly
A simple word to resolve a rude or uncomfortable situation
Epilogue: May your sincerity and value be conveyed to everyone.
Chapter 1: A person who makes you feel good just by talking to him
The power of conversation to make life easier
Why on earth would that person say something like that?
Do you really have to say it out loud?
A person with discernment is welcome everywhere.
Chapter 2 Did you think before you spoke?
If you don't want to get into trouble by pretending to know something
Am I the only one who feels uncomfortable with this conversation?
We're not at a point where we can say that yet, but
The mistake of trying to break the silence and taking a risk
Mind Control for Perfect Conversation
Chapter 3: The Small Talk Formula to Win Hearts in One Word
The secret to increasing favorability on a first date
Formula 1: Tell the other person about yourself.
Formula 2: Break your opponent's words down into nano-sized pieces.
Formula 3: Choose a topic that will completely change the mood.
Formula 4: Make the obvious special.
Chapter 4: This is how people who speak well talk
One reaction is worth more than a hundred words.
Should we talk about this now?
If you don't want to be a parrot that only says the same thing
If you don't know what to talk about, just memorize this.
A practical simulation for those who are afraid of conversation.
Smart Ways to Deal with People Who Treat You Coldly
A simple word to resolve a rude or uncomfortable situation
Epilogue: May your sincerity and value be conveyed to everyone.
Detailed image
Into the book
Comfortable and enjoyable conversations are actions that bring about such real change.
Moreover, as new information pours in at an ever-increasing rate, individuals face limitations in their ability to acquire information, and synergy through interaction with others becomes increasingly important.
(…) Conversation skills have become essential not only at work but also in various gatherings, chance encounters, blind dates, presentations in front of others, and any other place where you come into contact with others.
--- p.16, from “Chapter 1: People Who Make You Feel Good Just by Talking to Them”
Another misconception about taking the initiative is that you have to try to discourage the other person by saying the right thing.
If someone thinks that the reason they always say the right thing is to defeat the other person, then it is a waste of the knowledge and time they have spent their entire life on it.
(…) Taking the lead in a conversation means opening up the other person’s mind and getting them to talk more deeply.
If you're having a conversation about a topic that has right and wrong, you need to make sure the other person understands and accepts it, or at least prepares for it.
To achieve this, you must appropriately share your information, obtain a lot of information about the other person, and use that information to reach the other person's true intentions.
--- pp.27-28, from “Chapter 1: People Who Make You Feel Good Just by Talking to Them”
In Korea today, vertical and horizontal cultures coexist.
Originally, Korea had a vertical culture deeply rooted for a long time, represented by honorifics.
However, as the advantages of horizontal culture have recently been highlighted, various organizations are embracing horizontal culture and horizontalization is also taking place in society.
However, this has actually resulted in a more diverse culture and made it more difficult to understand organizational culture.
Because it has become more difficult to determine what culture the other person is familiar with.
Ironically, a horizontal culture makes being perceptive even more necessary.
--- pp.32-33, from “Chapter 1: People Who Make You Feel Good Just by Talking to Them”
Stop small talk with the other person and start being silent.
If the other person's expression becomes more relaxed at this point, there is no need to try to continue the conversation.
You just need to wait calmly for the other person to organize their thoughts or feel like talking.
There's no need to make an effort to make small talk, as they most likely want silence.
Even if the other person is considering a conversation rather than silence, it is better to give them time.
If the other person's expression looks tense and uncomfortable, it may be because they don't like silence or want silence but are in an awkward situation.
So in this case, you need to observe the other person for a moment and then break the silence again to figure out the other person.
--- p.97, from “Did you think before you spoke in Chapter 2?”
Strangely enough, when people try to become close to someone, they tend to build a wall in their heart.
If we compare the experience of going to a store to buy something versus having someone come to our house to sell it to us, we can understand that mental wall.
When you beg someone to become close to you or try to convince them that you and I should become close, they start to question why you should become close to them and why they want to become close to you.
In order to naturally become closer without any resistance or doubts, the other person must first feel that 'I've become close with this person.'
--- pp.192-193, from “Chapter 3: The Small Talk Formula to Capture Hearts with a Single Word”
Because people are willing to share responsibility and rights with others, the moment someone else interrupts, the conversation becomes one-sided.
Many people unconsciously assume that the person who interrupts wants a piece of the conversation, and so they try to give them a chance to speak.
So, you are giving up your responsibility and rights and giving up the initiative in the conversation.
This kind of psychology has the power to make you forget what you were originally trying to say.
So the story just ends up being vague.
--- p.215, from “Chapter 4: People Who Talk Like This”
People unconsciously judge a person's life based on just one or two sentences they say.
It may seem unfair to judge a person's life based on just one word, but when we talk to people in our daily lives, we feel that there are some people we want to know more about, while on the other hand, there are others we don't.
This difference is determined in small talk that seems insignificant.
It's not a matter of how much or little knowledge someone has, but rather whether that person is trustworthy or charming, and the impression you get of that person is determined by small talk.
Moreover, as new information pours in at an ever-increasing rate, individuals face limitations in their ability to acquire information, and synergy through interaction with others becomes increasingly important.
(…) Conversation skills have become essential not only at work but also in various gatherings, chance encounters, blind dates, presentations in front of others, and any other place where you come into contact with others.
--- p.16, from “Chapter 1: People Who Make You Feel Good Just by Talking to Them”
Another misconception about taking the initiative is that you have to try to discourage the other person by saying the right thing.
If someone thinks that the reason they always say the right thing is to defeat the other person, then it is a waste of the knowledge and time they have spent their entire life on it.
(…) Taking the lead in a conversation means opening up the other person’s mind and getting them to talk more deeply.
If you're having a conversation about a topic that has right and wrong, you need to make sure the other person understands and accepts it, or at least prepares for it.
To achieve this, you must appropriately share your information, obtain a lot of information about the other person, and use that information to reach the other person's true intentions.
--- pp.27-28, from “Chapter 1: People Who Make You Feel Good Just by Talking to Them”
In Korea today, vertical and horizontal cultures coexist.
Originally, Korea had a vertical culture deeply rooted for a long time, represented by honorifics.
However, as the advantages of horizontal culture have recently been highlighted, various organizations are embracing horizontal culture and horizontalization is also taking place in society.
However, this has actually resulted in a more diverse culture and made it more difficult to understand organizational culture.
Because it has become more difficult to determine what culture the other person is familiar with.
Ironically, a horizontal culture makes being perceptive even more necessary.
--- pp.32-33, from “Chapter 1: People Who Make You Feel Good Just by Talking to Them”
Stop small talk with the other person and start being silent.
If the other person's expression becomes more relaxed at this point, there is no need to try to continue the conversation.
You just need to wait calmly for the other person to organize their thoughts or feel like talking.
There's no need to make an effort to make small talk, as they most likely want silence.
Even if the other person is considering a conversation rather than silence, it is better to give them time.
If the other person's expression looks tense and uncomfortable, it may be because they don't like silence or want silence but are in an awkward situation.
So in this case, you need to observe the other person for a moment and then break the silence again to figure out the other person.
--- p.97, from “Did you think before you spoke in Chapter 2?”
Strangely enough, when people try to become close to someone, they tend to build a wall in their heart.
If we compare the experience of going to a store to buy something versus having someone come to our house to sell it to us, we can understand that mental wall.
When you beg someone to become close to you or try to convince them that you and I should become close, they start to question why you should become close to them and why they want to become close to you.
In order to naturally become closer without any resistance or doubts, the other person must first feel that 'I've become close with this person.'
--- pp.192-193, from “Chapter 3: The Small Talk Formula to Capture Hearts with a Single Word”
Because people are willing to share responsibility and rights with others, the moment someone else interrupts, the conversation becomes one-sided.
Many people unconsciously assume that the person who interrupts wants a piece of the conversation, and so they try to give them a chance to speak.
So, you are giving up your responsibility and rights and giving up the initiative in the conversation.
This kind of psychology has the power to make you forget what you were originally trying to say.
So the story just ends up being vague.
--- p.215, from “Chapter 4: People Who Talk Like This”
People unconsciously judge a person's life based on just one or two sentences they say.
It may seem unfair to judge a person's life based on just one word, but when we talk to people in our daily lives, we feel that there are some people we want to know more about, while on the other hand, there are others we don't.
This difference is determined in small talk that seems insignificant.
It's not a matter of how much or little knowledge someone has, but rather whether that person is trustworthy or charming, and the impression you get of that person is determined by small talk.
--- p.306, from “Epilogue: May your sincerity and value be conveyed to everyone”
Publisher's Review
One thing essential for harmonious human relationships
The sense of conversation is more important than the five senses!
Have you ever tried to break the awkward silence by saying something, only to find the other person's expression subtly hardened, as if it were too much of a stretch? You try to make small talk with a coworker after lunch, only to find the conversation stalls beyond "Did you enjoy your meal?" Or maybe you try to show your friend you haven't seen in a while a joke, but it seems to have hit their Achilles' heel, and somehow, it feels like you've drifted further apart.
It is said that people speak an average of 10,000 to 20,000 words a day.
This is a huge amount of material that can be read in a week.
We live our lives talking so much, knowingly or unknowingly, but when it's really necessary, we become dumb and think hard.
'What should I say in this situation?' 'I want to get closer to this person, so what should I say?' We've all wanted to be someone who can say something witty like those with magical conversational skills, but it's not as easy as we think.
What do people who make you feel good just by talking to them have in common?
Capture the other person's heart with short, sharp small talk.
So, how do "good talkers" communicate? People who make others feel good just by talking to them have one thing in common.
Even in casual small talk, I feel like 'this person knows me well', and that makes me want to tell them more about myself.
This doesn't mean that you can see through the other person's mind with just a few words of conversation.
It is enough to read the small pieces of information contained in the other person's words.
Ultimately, the key to a smooth conversation is to listen carefully to what the other person has to say and get more information from them.
Director Lim Cheol-woong, Korea's only expert in psychological engineering, will teach you how to read and utilize the other person's mind through four conversation formulas.
One, convey information about me to the other person.
Humans have a reward psychology and are reluctant to give away what they have without any compensation.
This is also true when I pass on my story (information) to the other person in a conversation.
It's best to first share information about yourself or that applies to both you and the other person, so that the other person can easily tell their story.
Two, break down your opponent's words into nano-units.
In order to have a smooth conversation and smooth interpersonal relationships, it is necessary to remember what kind of person the other person is, what they like, and what they do.
At this time, if you break down the information contained in the other person's words and remember it, your memory will last much longer and it will be easier to continue the conversation.
Let's memorize the other person's information well through the 'sentence-type, word-type, and group-type memory method' introduced by Director Lim Cheol-woong and use it at the perfect timing.
Third, choose a topic that will change the mood 180 degrees.
The conversation will be much more enjoyable if you prioritize the information divided by topic and choose the information that interests the other person as the topic.
At this time, the other person feels, 'This person understands my heart and catches what I want to say.'
It's easy to prioritize information.
Just choose the information that is most distant from the topic of conversation you are currently having.
Lastly, make even the most obvious statement special.
In fact, the topics of conversation are limited.
Rather than starting a conversation with information that anyone can easily recognize, it is important to create a three-dimensional conversation by weaving together various pieces of information obtained through conversation.
It is also important to read hidden messages not only in words but also in voice, facial expressions, and actions.
The Republic of Tact: You Can't Survive Without It
The winning formula for Korean-style small talk!
The elements that make up a conversation include me, the other person, words, and reactions.
There is one more thing that is essential here.
It's 'eye contact'.
Jesse Lingard, a former Manchester United player who recently transferred to FC Seoul, became a hot topic when he revealed that he was reading a book that would teach him how to be more perceptive in order to live a smooth life in Korea.
Korean society, which has maintained a vertical structure for a long time, is evolving into a more complex and nuanced culture in which both vertical and horizontal structures coexist, with the addition of a culture that rejects horizontal relationships.
In order to communicate and maintain good relationships with those I want to get along with, I have become in a situation where I absolutely need to have the 'intuition' to say the right thing at the right time and in the right situation.
This is not only reflected in public places like the workplace.
It applies to all situations involving human relationships, such as friends, family, and gatherings.
The ability to overlook the other person's pain, the ability to sometimes pretend not to know what you know, and the ability to perceive how close our relationship has become and then show an appropriate attitude all come from the ability to feel.
Don't misunderstand and think that if you don't have innate insight, you can't even have a conversation.
Just as someone who is unable to express what they want to say can become a eloquent speaker, if you know just a few formulas, you can become a person who is both tactful and sensible, and who makes you feel good just by talking to them.
With the small talk formula that allows you to read the other person's mood, heart, and intentions and incorporate them into the conversation by utilizing the conversation sense 100%, you will never be left alone after the conversation ends and regret, 'I should have said this back then...'
The sense of conversation is more important than the five senses!
Have you ever tried to break the awkward silence by saying something, only to find the other person's expression subtly hardened, as if it were too much of a stretch? You try to make small talk with a coworker after lunch, only to find the conversation stalls beyond "Did you enjoy your meal?" Or maybe you try to show your friend you haven't seen in a while a joke, but it seems to have hit their Achilles' heel, and somehow, it feels like you've drifted further apart.
It is said that people speak an average of 10,000 to 20,000 words a day.
This is a huge amount of material that can be read in a week.
We live our lives talking so much, knowingly or unknowingly, but when it's really necessary, we become dumb and think hard.
'What should I say in this situation?' 'I want to get closer to this person, so what should I say?' We've all wanted to be someone who can say something witty like those with magical conversational skills, but it's not as easy as we think.
What do people who make you feel good just by talking to them have in common?
Capture the other person's heart with short, sharp small talk.
So, how do "good talkers" communicate? People who make others feel good just by talking to them have one thing in common.
Even in casual small talk, I feel like 'this person knows me well', and that makes me want to tell them more about myself.
This doesn't mean that you can see through the other person's mind with just a few words of conversation.
It is enough to read the small pieces of information contained in the other person's words.
Ultimately, the key to a smooth conversation is to listen carefully to what the other person has to say and get more information from them.
Director Lim Cheol-woong, Korea's only expert in psychological engineering, will teach you how to read and utilize the other person's mind through four conversation formulas.
One, convey information about me to the other person.
Humans have a reward psychology and are reluctant to give away what they have without any compensation.
This is also true when I pass on my story (information) to the other person in a conversation.
It's best to first share information about yourself or that applies to both you and the other person, so that the other person can easily tell their story.
Two, break down your opponent's words into nano-units.
In order to have a smooth conversation and smooth interpersonal relationships, it is necessary to remember what kind of person the other person is, what they like, and what they do.
At this time, if you break down the information contained in the other person's words and remember it, your memory will last much longer and it will be easier to continue the conversation.
Let's memorize the other person's information well through the 'sentence-type, word-type, and group-type memory method' introduced by Director Lim Cheol-woong and use it at the perfect timing.
Third, choose a topic that will change the mood 180 degrees.
The conversation will be much more enjoyable if you prioritize the information divided by topic and choose the information that interests the other person as the topic.
At this time, the other person feels, 'This person understands my heart and catches what I want to say.'
It's easy to prioritize information.
Just choose the information that is most distant from the topic of conversation you are currently having.
Lastly, make even the most obvious statement special.
In fact, the topics of conversation are limited.
Rather than starting a conversation with information that anyone can easily recognize, it is important to create a three-dimensional conversation by weaving together various pieces of information obtained through conversation.
It is also important to read hidden messages not only in words but also in voice, facial expressions, and actions.
The Republic of Tact: You Can't Survive Without It
The winning formula for Korean-style small talk!
The elements that make up a conversation include me, the other person, words, and reactions.
There is one more thing that is essential here.
It's 'eye contact'.
Jesse Lingard, a former Manchester United player who recently transferred to FC Seoul, became a hot topic when he revealed that he was reading a book that would teach him how to be more perceptive in order to live a smooth life in Korea.
Korean society, which has maintained a vertical structure for a long time, is evolving into a more complex and nuanced culture in which both vertical and horizontal structures coexist, with the addition of a culture that rejects horizontal relationships.
In order to communicate and maintain good relationships with those I want to get along with, I have become in a situation where I absolutely need to have the 'intuition' to say the right thing at the right time and in the right situation.
This is not only reflected in public places like the workplace.
It applies to all situations involving human relationships, such as friends, family, and gatherings.
The ability to overlook the other person's pain, the ability to sometimes pretend not to know what you know, and the ability to perceive how close our relationship has become and then show an appropriate attitude all come from the ability to feel.
Don't misunderstand and think that if you don't have innate insight, you can't even have a conversation.
Just as someone who is unable to express what they want to say can become a eloquent speaker, if you know just a few formulas, you can become a person who is both tactful and sensible, and who makes you feel good just by talking to them.
With the small talk formula that allows you to read the other person's mood, heart, and intentions and incorporate them into the conversation by utilizing the conversation sense 100%, you will never be left alone after the conversation ends and regret, 'I should have said this back then...'
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: September 30, 2024
- Page count, weight, size: 308 pages | 396g | 140*205*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791164162277
- ISBN10: 1164162276
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