It brought fresh insight and change to countless people.
Cognitive Psychologist Professor Kim Kyung-il's Human Relations Class

I'm always concerned about other people's gaze and words
A time of desperation and growth for you who have been hurt

A bestseller loved by countless readers
Kim Kyung-il's Wise Human Life
Handwritten edition/autographed print

Professor Kyung-il Kim of Ajou University, a leading cognitive psychologist in Korea and much loved by the public, has published his best-selling book, "Kim Kyung-il's Wise Human Life," in a handwritten edition that helps readers engage in deeper reflection.
This book, which offers fresh insight and practical change to modern people who are hurt by the gaze and words of others and who experience difficulties in relationships, is designed to help them more deeply embody the wisdom of Professor Kim Kyung-il through the active reading method of "Bilsa."


The original book, "Kim Kyung-il's Wise Human Life," sharply penetrates the essence of the suffering we experience in relationships through cognitive psychology, and since its publication, it has established itself as a steady seller in the field of human relationship psychology, conveying clear insights to countless readers.
This manuscript edition carefully selects key sentences from the original work, which have helped countless readers look into their hearts and restore relationships with loved ones.
Through the time spent transcribing sentences by hand, readers can experience caring for their own emotions without being swayed by the words of others.


Also, the most notable part of this edition of "Kim Kyung-il's Wise Human Life Handwritten Edition" is that it includes nine newly written lectures on human relationships by Professor Kim Kyung-il.
Professor Kim Kyung-il's new lecture will serve as a powerful psychological weapon for healing and recovery from the relationship difficulties and psychological disasters readers face in their daily lives.

“One of the easiest and fastest ways to become unhappy in life is to try to change the things you can’t change.
And one of the most vain ways to spend your life is to 'live without changing anything that can be changed.'
Cognitive psychology is the discipline that distinguishes between what can and cannot be changed.”
This is a phrase I often mention in my lectures and books, and it is also a phrase that is often overlooked but loved by readers.
It seems you agree with the fact that many of life's problems, including interpersonal relationships, ultimately stem from the standard of what can and cannot be changed.
After publishing "Kim Kyung-il's Wise Human Life," I received a lot of unexpected feedback through lectures and reviews.
Surprisingly, even people who had been in society for quite some time found interpersonal relationships inherently difficult, and many even suffered from types of interpersonal problems they had never experienced before.
I think we need to boldly let go of the vague expectation that "when I'm in my 40s or 50s, I'll gain experience and relationships will become easier."
I think human relationships should be seen as a lifelong task that requires constant learning and readjustment.
Human relationships are not resolved through experience alone.
As life deepens, we need more nuanced understanding and insight.
Otherwise, as you repeat the same conflicts, you will become more and more numb, or your mind will lean towards giving up on connecting with people in the first place.
If you are obsessed with the thoughts, “I don’t trust people well,” or “No one understands my heart,” relationships will become distant and isolation will deepen.
But let's change our perspective here. I can't change others, but I can always choose to become a more mature person.
As we become mature, we realize that the center of our relationships is not others, but ourselves.
--- p.6-7, from “Prologue - Time to Grow Myself for Appropriate Human Relationships”

Are negative emotions bad, folks? There's no need to be so critical of them.
Signals like 'I'm angry', 'I'm annoyed', and 'I'm in pain' are survival signals our body sends us.
These signals are like warning lights that tell us that 'this situation is threatening to me' or 'my boundaries are being violated.'
The emotions that trigger these warning lights must be expressed appropriately to maintain our psychological health.
If you suppress your child's emotional expression by saying things like, "Boys shouldn't do that," or "You shouldn't do this," your child may lose not only the ability to trust his or her own emotions, but also the ability to judge emotions themselves.
We all need to recognize that being appropriately angry is a perfectly valid way to protect our rights and boundaries.
If you keep suppressing your emotions, the 'scale' for those emotions will not develop, and eventually you will not even be able to know why you are having a hard time.
--- p.34-35, from 「Wise Human Life LECTURE 1 - Inappropriately Bright People」

Most of us act kindly because we want to be seen as good people and be respected.
But unfortunately, kindness doesn't always lead to respect.
It's common for good people to be ignored or treated lightly.
Because most good people can't refuse requests from others, or they can even endure insulting words.
They try to maintain a positive self-image by thinking, "I'm a good person, so I don't want to use harsh language or bad behavior," but they end up getting hurt.
However, avoiding conflict unconditionally like this is a dangerous behavior that does not let the other person know my boundaries.
The other person will not be able to determine the boundary between 'how much is it okay to ask of this person' and will continue to cross the line.
--- p.54-55, from 「Wise Human Life LECTURE 2 - How to be respected without appearing easy」

Psychology is a discipline that cannot advance even one step without addressing the topic of anxiety.
Anxiety is so deeply rooted in human existence and behavior.
But why do we hate this anxiety so much? Anxiety is painful in itself, but the bigger problem is that it exacerbates the pain of other negative emotions.
When you experience physical pain from something while you are anxious, it feels much more painful than usual.
The same goes for when you feel lonely.
Loneliness in a state of extreme anxiety can feel like extreme pain, as if you were left alone on this earth.
Even when we are bored with nothing to do, anxiety leaves us feeling helpless.
Anxiety serves to amplify the pain felt from all the negative emotions experienced afterwards.
What humans hate the most is a situation where this anxiety is maximized.
What is that situation? It's uncertain and ambiguous.
Our brains are inherently wired to prefer certainty and concreteness.
The brain finds peace only when it can clearly answer the questions 'when, where, and how.'

--- p.131-132, from 「Wise Human Life LECTURE 3 - Techniques for Overcoming Anxiety」

There are three pillars that are necessary for growing into a warm and mature human being.
It is a kind heart, a mature personality, and a positive outlook on life.
These three may seem like different virtues, but in fact they are like trees growing in one integrated stream.
Kindness becomes the soil that holds the ground together, a mature personality becomes a thick trunk, and a positive mind becomes the leaves that welcome the sunlight and wind.
When I do something good for someone, but a corner of my heart feels strangely empty.
Or when you firmly resolve to be a good person, but you keep getting swayed by emotions, or when you feel trapped in negative thoughts, or when you think, "Why is life so hard?"
This is the time for us to move towards maturity.
Finally, there is something to always remember.
“Let’s not expect perfect kindness, a completely mature personality, or a constant, bright positivity.”
Because we are human, we waver and get tired.
What's important in such times is the will to get back up again and the attitude to keep going one step at a time.

As we practice kindness, reflect on the depth of our emotions, and plant seeds of positivity in our lives, we will soon find ourselves as warm, relaxed, and mature adults.

--- p.262-263,271, from 「Wise Human Life LECTURE 9 - To Become a Mature Human」