People who live hard but still feel anxious
 |
Description
Book Introduction
- A word from MD
-
A book that will become your weapon in the fight against anxietyWhy do people who are successful and conscientious tend to be more anxious than those who aren't? If you're anxious, it's proof that you're doing well.
Don't be complacent.
If left alone, it will collapse greatly.
This book uses various insights from psychology, including attachment theory, Jungian psychology, and hierarchy of needs theory, to help you understand your anxiety.
August 13, 2025. Humanities PD Son Min-gyu
★ Psychological counselor Professor Park Sang-mi strongly recommends Choi Seol-min, CEO of "Learn Psychology Through Play" ★
★ Bestseller in 9 countries worldwide ★
★ TikTok #highfunctioninganxiety 160 million views ★
★ The world's first HFA 5-step guide ★
“I’ve worked hard, so why am I anxious?”
To prove that I am a 'good person'
Anxiety management solutions for those who can't stop trying.
Do you frequently find yourself thinking things like, "Why am I so stupid?" or "Even I look pathetic," or do you express these thoughts through self-destructive behavior and attitudes? Do you feel certain that there's something wrong with you, even if you can't quite pinpoint what it is? Do you fear rejection or disappointing others, and always want to appear "okay"? You have HFA (High-Functioning Anxiety Disorder). People with HFA "appear" to be high-performing, capable, socially savvy, and attentive to others.
Yes, he is a person who only appears that way on the outside.
Deep down, we suffer from endless self-criticism and doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism, and sensitivity, leading to anxiety, exhausting efforts to gain approval from others, and a perception of ourselves as "inadequate."
It will be easy to understand if you recall the scene in the movie Inside Out 2 where the protagonist's head filled with anxiety and he pushed himself by saying, "I'm not good enough."
Everyone feels anxious.
The problem, however, is that many people don't even realize they have anxiety symptoms caused by HFA. Because people with HFA appear "good" to others, it's difficult for others to recognize them or even for them to recognize it themselves.
The author of this book, Dr. Lalita Suglani, has compiled the world's first guide to overcoming HFA, based on her own experience with the disease and the insights she gained from working with numerous patients.
It presents the main symptoms of HFA that have been hidden for a long time and makes people aware of the wasteful and self-destructive thought and behavior patterns that have been repeated for a long time.
And after examining the causes of anxiety and fear that underlie this pattern, we introduce a method to live as 'my true self' rather than 'my self who is recognized by others by showing only my good side'.
Let's stop giving others the power to judge our worth.
Let's embark on a path of self-awareness, discovering our own qualities, strengths, and talents.
Then, you will meet your true self, free from the anxiety that has been hanging over you like a shadow.
★ Bestseller in 9 countries worldwide ★
★ TikTok #highfunctioninganxiety 160 million views ★
★ The world's first HFA 5-step guide ★
“I’ve worked hard, so why am I anxious?”
To prove that I am a 'good person'
Anxiety management solutions for those who can't stop trying.
Do you frequently find yourself thinking things like, "Why am I so stupid?" or "Even I look pathetic," or do you express these thoughts through self-destructive behavior and attitudes? Do you feel certain that there's something wrong with you, even if you can't quite pinpoint what it is? Do you fear rejection or disappointing others, and always want to appear "okay"? You have HFA (High-Functioning Anxiety Disorder). People with HFA "appear" to be high-performing, capable, socially savvy, and attentive to others.
Yes, he is a person who only appears that way on the outside.
Deep down, we suffer from endless self-criticism and doubt, fear of failure, perfectionism, and sensitivity, leading to anxiety, exhausting efforts to gain approval from others, and a perception of ourselves as "inadequate."
It will be easy to understand if you recall the scene in the movie Inside Out 2 where the protagonist's head filled with anxiety and he pushed himself by saying, "I'm not good enough."
Everyone feels anxious.
The problem, however, is that many people don't even realize they have anxiety symptoms caused by HFA. Because people with HFA appear "good" to others, it's difficult for others to recognize them or even for them to recognize it themselves.
The author of this book, Dr. Lalita Suglani, has compiled the world's first guide to overcoming HFA, based on her own experience with the disease and the insights she gained from working with numerous patients.
It presents the main symptoms of HFA that have been hidden for a long time and makes people aware of the wasteful and self-destructive thought and behavior patterns that have been repeated for a long time.
And after examining the causes of anxiety and fear that underlie this pattern, we introduce a method to live as 'my true self' rather than 'my self who is recognized by others by showing only my good side'.
Let's stop giving others the power to judge our worth.
Let's embark on a path of self-awareness, discovering our own qualities, strengths, and talents.
Then, you will meet your true self, free from the anxiety that has been hanging over you like a shadow.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Entering
Part 1.
Forget the past and start anew
[Step 1] Identify your patterns and reveal your hidden self.
Understanding HFA: The First Step to Overcoming Anxiety
If you have HFA, you are also more sensitive
The hidden self that trembles with anxiety and fear
HFA thrives on the fear of rejection
The power that comes from knowing who you are
7 Common Symptoms of HFA
HFA that divides us in two
[Step 2] Decipher the Pattern and Confront the Shadow
We must go back to the past to move forward.
Suturing the divided 'me'
HFA began with childhood experiences
The core beliefs that keep us failing
The Root of All Human Relationships: Attachment Types
Four types of attachment
Hierarchy of Needs Theory for Self-Actualization
Perfectionism due to needs and HFA
Let's accept and embrace our true selves.
Let's stop trying to please people.
Wake up to your true self
When you have to walk the path to self-awareness
Part 2.
Relearn about 'me'
[Step 3] Connect with yourself and transcend fear.
Understanding your own behavior patterns
Reconnect with your core self
A toolkit for coping with HFA
[Step 4] Accept your sensitivity and regain self-confidence.
Let's make room for sensitivity
How to Use Sensitivity as a Strength
HFA breaks down boundaries with others
Change negative thoughts with cognitive restructuring
Managing explosive emotions
How Self-Awareness Reveals Grief and Loss
The power of pause
[Step 5] Practice self-compassion
I create my own new rules
Power: 12 Ways to Grow Us
conclusion
A promise to yourself
Acknowledgements
References
Part 1.
Forget the past and start anew
[Step 1] Identify your patterns and reveal your hidden self.
Understanding HFA: The First Step to Overcoming Anxiety
If you have HFA, you are also more sensitive
The hidden self that trembles with anxiety and fear
HFA thrives on the fear of rejection
The power that comes from knowing who you are
7 Common Symptoms of HFA
HFA that divides us in two
[Step 2] Decipher the Pattern and Confront the Shadow
We must go back to the past to move forward.
Suturing the divided 'me'
HFA began with childhood experiences
The core beliefs that keep us failing
The Root of All Human Relationships: Attachment Types
Four types of attachment
Hierarchy of Needs Theory for Self-Actualization
Perfectionism due to needs and HFA
Let's accept and embrace our true selves.
Let's stop trying to please people.
Wake up to your true self
When you have to walk the path to self-awareness
Part 2.
Relearn about 'me'
[Step 3] Connect with yourself and transcend fear.
Understanding your own behavior patterns
Reconnect with your core self
A toolkit for coping with HFA
[Step 4] Accept your sensitivity and regain self-confidence.
Let's make room for sensitivity
How to Use Sensitivity as a Strength
HFA breaks down boundaries with others
Change negative thoughts with cognitive restructuring
Managing explosive emotions
How Self-Awareness Reveals Grief and Loss
The power of pause
[Step 5] Practice self-compassion
I create my own new rules
Power: 12 Ways to Grow Us
conclusion
A promise to yourself
Acknowledgements
References
Detailed image
Into the book
People with HFA have a strong desire to achieve and achieve outstanding results, seeking to prove their worth through external recognition.
They fear criticism and hate refusing or disappointing others.
Because I think that's the only way to be accepted and loved by others.
But no matter how high your performance, you still feel inadequate and believe that you don't meet the standards.
Or maybe you secretly believe that there is something wrong with you.
--- p.17-18
One day, I will get tired of living like this, hiding my anxiety.
In my experience, it's easy to get lonely and exhausted.
Eventually, there comes a point when we realize that we have no choice but to look into the source of our anxiety, and one day we will realize that it is the very reason we ran away from.
--- p.19
People with HFA are quite sensitive.
At some point in their lives, they realize that who they are, or who they want to be, is not good enough in the eyes of others.
But they don't know how to deal with this sensitive nature, and they don't know that their sensitivity makes them feel insecure about how they look to others every day.
So, by constantly worrying about how you appear, you give others the power to define your worth.
And they develop behavior patterns based on the belief that they need to be accepted by others to feel like they are a good person.
--- p.31
We set high standards and have strict expectations and specific ideas about how to achieve our desired results.
Why is that? Because they want to show everyone that they're a good person.
Perfectionism is a symptom of anxiety.
It is often rooted in the fear of failure or rejection, and that fear and anxiety become the motivation for action.
But the problem arises from the fact that nothing in this world is perfect.
--- p.47
People with an excessive sense of responsibility have difficulty trusting others and prefer to take responsibility themselves.
There are many cases where we take on excessive responsibility and burden for others even though we don't have to.
They are afraid of being rejected, so they try not to disappoint anyone and feel they have to solve problems that are not their responsibility.
Because if only he could handle all these issues, everything, everyone would be 'okay'.
--- p.56
I felt that I shouldn't be a burden to my parents or a burden, and I felt guilty about straying from the path they wanted me to follow.
As this pattern continued into adulthood, codependency developed.
I tried to please people, but I wondered why they didn't see me or love me the way I wanted them to.
--- p.96-97
Acting to please others is not done out of consideration for the other person or because you want them to be happy.
It is an action that is done out of fear of being rejected, hated, or disliked by others.
We spend our lives accepting and appeasing the demands of others without understanding or considering that there is an alternative called 'no'.
--- p.123-124
When you embrace your imperfections, you will realize that they are not flaws, but brushstrokes that add unique and amazing colors to your canvas.
You have to overcome the illusion of perfection and face your fears to navigate HFA.
Then you will encounter your true nature, a wonderful blend of excellence and resilience.
They fear criticism and hate refusing or disappointing others.
Because I think that's the only way to be accepted and loved by others.
But no matter how high your performance, you still feel inadequate and believe that you don't meet the standards.
Or maybe you secretly believe that there is something wrong with you.
--- p.17-18
One day, I will get tired of living like this, hiding my anxiety.
In my experience, it's easy to get lonely and exhausted.
Eventually, there comes a point when we realize that we have no choice but to look into the source of our anxiety, and one day we will realize that it is the very reason we ran away from.
--- p.19
People with HFA are quite sensitive.
At some point in their lives, they realize that who they are, or who they want to be, is not good enough in the eyes of others.
But they don't know how to deal with this sensitive nature, and they don't know that their sensitivity makes them feel insecure about how they look to others every day.
So, by constantly worrying about how you appear, you give others the power to define your worth.
And they develop behavior patterns based on the belief that they need to be accepted by others to feel like they are a good person.
--- p.31
We set high standards and have strict expectations and specific ideas about how to achieve our desired results.
Why is that? Because they want to show everyone that they're a good person.
Perfectionism is a symptom of anxiety.
It is often rooted in the fear of failure or rejection, and that fear and anxiety become the motivation for action.
But the problem arises from the fact that nothing in this world is perfect.
--- p.47
People with an excessive sense of responsibility have difficulty trusting others and prefer to take responsibility themselves.
There are many cases where we take on excessive responsibility and burden for others even though we don't have to.
They are afraid of being rejected, so they try not to disappoint anyone and feel they have to solve problems that are not their responsibility.
Because if only he could handle all these issues, everything, everyone would be 'okay'.
--- p.56
I felt that I shouldn't be a burden to my parents or a burden, and I felt guilty about straying from the path they wanted me to follow.
As this pattern continued into adulthood, codependency developed.
I tried to please people, but I wondered why they didn't see me or love me the way I wanted them to.
--- p.96-97
Acting to please others is not done out of consideration for the other person or because you want them to be happy.
It is an action that is done out of fear of being rejected, hated, or disliked by others.
We spend our lives accepting and appeasing the demands of others without understanding or considering that there is an alternative called 'no'.
--- p.123-124
When you embrace your imperfections, you will realize that they are not flaws, but brushstrokes that add unique and amazing colors to your canvas.
You have to overcome the illusion of perfection and face your fears to navigate HFA.
Then you will encounter your true nature, a wonderful blend of excellence and resilience.
--- p.232
Publisher's Review
“I tried to please others,
“Why don’t they see me the way I want them to see me?”
Don't waste your life trying to please others,
How to live a life simply to 'exist' as yourself
Sarah was not only named Employee of the Year, but also received several awards and recognition.
I constantly tried to 'get better' at my work and strived to get things done no matter how long it took.
If someone asked me to take on some work, I couldn't refuse even when I was already overloaded because I didn't want to disappoint them or receive negative feedback from my team.
No one knows how much time Sarah spent doing other people's work.
I worked so hard that I had no time for myself or to spend time with my family, friends, or lover.
Sarah was just so tired, like a hamster spinning on a wheel forever.
- Among the cases
This happened to me too.
Before I knew it, I was living for others, not for myself.
I clung to relationships that made me feel needed.
If someone wanted something from me, it meant I was a good person.
- From the text
If you deny who you are or who you want to be because of a learned fear of what others will think of you, you will continue to live in a state of anxiety.
This anxiety leads to symptoms such as an intense feeling of impending doom, a feeling that things are spiraling out of control, overthinking, and heightened sensitivity.
Ultimately, we try to relieve our anxiety and feel like we are a good person by achieving and pleasing others through mitigating behaviors such as overthinking, excessive responsibility, need for control, and perfectionism.
So we've developed patterns that make us feel this way, and we've been using those patterns to try to protect ourselves.
Our current thought and behavior patterns are not our innate characteristics, but rather a collection of choices we have made to survive.
However, the feeling of being a 'good person' that comes from using patterns to achieve or please others is temporary.
Because we have to rely on recognition from others.
It's impossible to spend your whole life chasing other people's reactions to feel like a good person.
Doing things you don't want to do or doing things that have a destructive effect on your life just to please others will inevitably disappoint you.
There comes a time when you get tired of living with your anxiety hidden.
At some point in life, there will come a point where you will eventually give in to anxiety.
We live our whole lives with ‘myself’.
I can't live like this anymore.
We must choose a new way of being.
I need to make choices for myself, not for others.
“Change is scary,
“There is nothing more frightening than living in fear and not being happy.”
Gathering together the 'me' that is scattered like puzzle pieces,
A treatment that leads to self-acceptance and self-expansion.
Scientists have discovered that when sea turtles take their first lurching steps toward the ocean, they mentally imprint the magnetic field of the beach where they were born.
When sea turtles want to return home, they follow this magnetic field to find their way back home.
However, when humans try to help baby sea turtles by bringing them to the shore, they are unable to imprint on the magnetic field.
Only by experiencing going to the sea on your own can an impression be made.
Same goes for us.
Looking back, you may have had experiences that created thought and behavior patterns that reinforced your anxiety.
This experience was like lifting a struggling sea turtle and disrupting its imprinting, ruining us.
But if you take a step back, look at these patterns, and break them on your own, you can correct what's wrong.
You can experience the process of self-expansion toward growth and development by affirming yourself, properly recognizing and accepting your own appearance.
This book gives you the tools and power to govern your HFA.
We also provide 45 worksheets that delve deep into your mind.
It will help you realize who you are, what you want, and how you want to live.
Let's learn how to break free from anxiety, manage fear, and trust yourself.
Now is the time to live a life fully connected to ourselves, those around us, and the world, instead of living a life seeking the approval of others.
“Why don’t they see me the way I want them to see me?”
Don't waste your life trying to please others,
How to live a life simply to 'exist' as yourself
Sarah was not only named Employee of the Year, but also received several awards and recognition.
I constantly tried to 'get better' at my work and strived to get things done no matter how long it took.
If someone asked me to take on some work, I couldn't refuse even when I was already overloaded because I didn't want to disappoint them or receive negative feedback from my team.
No one knows how much time Sarah spent doing other people's work.
I worked so hard that I had no time for myself or to spend time with my family, friends, or lover.
Sarah was just so tired, like a hamster spinning on a wheel forever.
- Among the cases
This happened to me too.
Before I knew it, I was living for others, not for myself.
I clung to relationships that made me feel needed.
If someone wanted something from me, it meant I was a good person.
- From the text
If you deny who you are or who you want to be because of a learned fear of what others will think of you, you will continue to live in a state of anxiety.
This anxiety leads to symptoms such as an intense feeling of impending doom, a feeling that things are spiraling out of control, overthinking, and heightened sensitivity.
Ultimately, we try to relieve our anxiety and feel like we are a good person by achieving and pleasing others through mitigating behaviors such as overthinking, excessive responsibility, need for control, and perfectionism.
So we've developed patterns that make us feel this way, and we've been using those patterns to try to protect ourselves.
Our current thought and behavior patterns are not our innate characteristics, but rather a collection of choices we have made to survive.
However, the feeling of being a 'good person' that comes from using patterns to achieve or please others is temporary.
Because we have to rely on recognition from others.
It's impossible to spend your whole life chasing other people's reactions to feel like a good person.
Doing things you don't want to do or doing things that have a destructive effect on your life just to please others will inevitably disappoint you.
There comes a time when you get tired of living with your anxiety hidden.
At some point in life, there will come a point where you will eventually give in to anxiety.
We live our whole lives with ‘myself’.
I can't live like this anymore.
We must choose a new way of being.
I need to make choices for myself, not for others.
“Change is scary,
“There is nothing more frightening than living in fear and not being happy.”
Gathering together the 'me' that is scattered like puzzle pieces,
A treatment that leads to self-acceptance and self-expansion.
Scientists have discovered that when sea turtles take their first lurching steps toward the ocean, they mentally imprint the magnetic field of the beach where they were born.
When sea turtles want to return home, they follow this magnetic field to find their way back home.
However, when humans try to help baby sea turtles by bringing them to the shore, they are unable to imprint on the magnetic field.
Only by experiencing going to the sea on your own can an impression be made.
Same goes for us.
Looking back, you may have had experiences that created thought and behavior patterns that reinforced your anxiety.
This experience was like lifting a struggling sea turtle and disrupting its imprinting, ruining us.
But if you take a step back, look at these patterns, and break them on your own, you can correct what's wrong.
You can experience the process of self-expansion toward growth and development by affirming yourself, properly recognizing and accepting your own appearance.
This book gives you the tools and power to govern your HFA.
We also provide 45 worksheets that delve deep into your mind.
It will help you realize who you are, what you want, and how you want to live.
Let's learn how to break free from anxiety, manage fear, and trust yourself.
Now is the time to live a life fully connected to ourselves, those around us, and the world, instead of living a life seeking the approval of others.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: July 25, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 268 pages | 382g | 145*210*20mm
- ISBN13: 9788925573441
- ISBN10: 892557344X
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