Communication is the key to success.
 |
Description
Book Introduction
A book for office workers who find people more difficult than work!
Any working person would have said something like this at least once.
“Even if you feel lonely at work, it’s right to keep some distance.”, “I just voiced my opinion and my boss hated me.”, “New employees these days are hard to communicate with.”, “Even when I ask for a meeting, no one talks.”, “I can tolerate a lot of work, but it’s hard for people.”
A common problem encountered in social life is interpersonal relationships.
[Communication is the key to success] suggests ways to overcome interpersonal difficulties in the workplace, to enable active and free communication, and to express your opinions clearly and accept others' opinions.
Author Jae-yeon Park is a conversation education guide who has given lectures to companies and other organizations.
Many workers have already seen and experienced great changes through his conversational training.
The educational content with proven effectiveness has been compiled into one book.
Conversation also requires practice.
There are many conversations that take place at work, but it's rare to find someone with whom you can say, "Wow, I really get along well."
There is no one who understands what I say, and it is difficult to accept what others say.
We have a vision for the kind of workplace we want—active communication, horizontal relationships—but why doesn't reality live up to our aspirations? The author argues that a happy workplace isn't achieved through mere imagination.
Before we can achieve the workplace we desire and smooth communication, we must begin by practicing conversation.
It starts with turning your gaze away from others and toward yourself, freeing yourself from the things you never thought were wrong with your conversation style or assumed were not.
And I deal with the emotions inside me and look into the strength within me.
After this process, it connects me with the other person.
Let's look at the difference between conversations that connect me with others and conversations that disconnect me from others.
If you know and practice these essential yet easy conversation skills, you will find that most of your conversations will be conflict-free and truly communicative.
Any working person would have said something like this at least once.
“Even if you feel lonely at work, it’s right to keep some distance.”, “I just voiced my opinion and my boss hated me.”, “New employees these days are hard to communicate with.”, “Even when I ask for a meeting, no one talks.”, “I can tolerate a lot of work, but it’s hard for people.”
A common problem encountered in social life is interpersonal relationships.
[Communication is the key to success] suggests ways to overcome interpersonal difficulties in the workplace, to enable active and free communication, and to express your opinions clearly and accept others' opinions.
Author Jae-yeon Park is a conversation education guide who has given lectures to companies and other organizations.
Many workers have already seen and experienced great changes through his conversational training.
The educational content with proven effectiveness has been compiled into one book.
Conversation also requires practice.
There are many conversations that take place at work, but it's rare to find someone with whom you can say, "Wow, I really get along well."
There is no one who understands what I say, and it is difficult to accept what others say.
We have a vision for the kind of workplace we want—active communication, horizontal relationships—but why doesn't reality live up to our aspirations? The author argues that a happy workplace isn't achieved through mere imagination.
Before we can achieve the workplace we desire and smooth communication, we must begin by practicing conversation.
It starts with turning your gaze away from others and toward yourself, freeing yourself from the things you never thought were wrong with your conversation style or assumed were not.
And I deal with the emotions inside me and look into the strength within me.
After this process, it connects me with the other person.
Let's look at the difference between conversations that connect me with others and conversations that disconnect me from others.
If you know and practice these essential yet easy conversation skills, you will find that most of your conversations will be conflict-free and truly communicative.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Recommendation 8
Welcome to the article "Conversation" before the conversation practice.
Chapter 1
Why can't we communicate?
Reason 1 It's not because we're bad, it's because we've been taught wrongly.
Reason 2 Because I believe that what I believe is right is the correct answer.
Reason 3: Because I believe that it is natural for a superior to do so, and because I am a subordinate to do so, I believe it is right to do so.
Reason 4: Because we believe our experiences and evaluations are 'facts'.
Chapter 2
People who communicate have different ways of dealing with emotions.
Emotion 1 Anger and rage are emotions that can be well managed.
Emotion 2: Anxiety and fear can also strengthen relationships.
Emotion 3 Guilt and sacrifice can be powerful forces that help us recognize the importance of relationships.
Emotion 4: Discovering True Value Through Depression (Inferiority and Superiority)
Chapter 3
The power within me that enables true communication
Power 1: The power to care for your colleagues - Love
Power 2: The power to give something - contribution
Power 3: The power to grow together - cooperation
Chapter 4
Two patterns of conversation
Pattern 1: Pattern of Disconnected Conversation
Pattern 2: Patterns of Connected Conversations
Chapter 5
Speak honestly and clearly
Expression 1 How to ask for what you want
Expression 2: How to Give Clear and Gentle Instructions as a Decision Maker
Expression 3 How to say something when you feel like apologizing
Expression 4: How to effectively express gratitude to others
Expression 5: How to express your pride
Chapter 6
Listen carefully to the speaker's intentions
Listening 1 How to listen while accurately confirming what the other person is saying
Listening 2 How to empathize with the other person's feelings from a third-party perspective
Listening 3 How to Listen as a Mediator Between People Experiencing Conflict
Listening 4 How to Listen Wisely When Someone Expresses Gratitude
Chapter 7
Speaking to prevent and resolve conflicts
Expression 6 How to say something when you need to end a conversation during a conversation
Expression 7 How to Protect Each Other When You Want to Say No
Expression 8: How to Take Responsibility for Your Feelings and Speak Clearly When You're Angry
Expression 9 How to express your opinion when you feel afraid
Chapter 8
Listen carefully to words that require mental preparation
Listening 5 How to Acknowledge and Agree, But Hear Unsolicited Feedback
Listening 6 How to maintain self-esteem when hearing criticism
Listening 7 How to Listen to Someone You Hate
Listening 8 How to listen and understand what someone is saying when they reject your request
Welcome to the article "Conversation" before the conversation practice.
Chapter 1
Why can't we communicate?
Reason 1 It's not because we're bad, it's because we've been taught wrongly.
Reason 2 Because I believe that what I believe is right is the correct answer.
Reason 3: Because I believe that it is natural for a superior to do so, and because I am a subordinate to do so, I believe it is right to do so.
Reason 4: Because we believe our experiences and evaluations are 'facts'.
Chapter 2
People who communicate have different ways of dealing with emotions.
Emotion 1 Anger and rage are emotions that can be well managed.
Emotion 2: Anxiety and fear can also strengthen relationships.
Emotion 3 Guilt and sacrifice can be powerful forces that help us recognize the importance of relationships.
Emotion 4: Discovering True Value Through Depression (Inferiority and Superiority)
Chapter 3
The power within me that enables true communication
Power 1: The power to care for your colleagues - Love
Power 2: The power to give something - contribution
Power 3: The power to grow together - cooperation
Chapter 4
Two patterns of conversation
Pattern 1: Pattern of Disconnected Conversation
Pattern 2: Patterns of Connected Conversations
Chapter 5
Speak honestly and clearly
Expression 1 How to ask for what you want
Expression 2: How to Give Clear and Gentle Instructions as a Decision Maker
Expression 3 How to say something when you feel like apologizing
Expression 4: How to effectively express gratitude to others
Expression 5: How to express your pride
Chapter 6
Listen carefully to the speaker's intentions
Listening 1 How to listen while accurately confirming what the other person is saying
Listening 2 How to empathize with the other person's feelings from a third-party perspective
Listening 3 How to Listen as a Mediator Between People Experiencing Conflict
Listening 4 How to Listen Wisely When Someone Expresses Gratitude
Chapter 7
Speaking to prevent and resolve conflicts
Expression 6 How to say something when you need to end a conversation during a conversation
Expression 7 How to Protect Each Other When You Want to Say No
Expression 8: How to Take Responsibility for Your Feelings and Speak Clearly When You're Angry
Expression 9 How to express your opinion when you feel afraid
Chapter 8
Listen carefully to words that require mental preparation
Listening 5 How to Acknowledge and Agree, But Hear Unsolicited Feedback
Listening 6 How to maintain self-esteem when hearing criticism
Listening 7 How to Listen to Someone You Hate
Listening 8 How to listen and understand what someone is saying when they reject your request
Into the book
I often see moments when the intuition and agile judgment that helped us solve problems actually become obstacles in interpersonal relationships.
In human relationships, rather than judging, say, “I guess that might be true from your perspective.
I find that acknowledging and accepting things like, “I admit it” helps.
Only when there is that process can an attitude of accepting different opinions emerge.
Ultimately, we come to realize that the purpose of conversation is not to solve problems, but to 'connect' with each other by understanding each other's perspectives.
The efficient problem-solving we so desperately desire in our organizations is a creative outcome that naturally occurs after we connect emotionally with one another.
--- p.23
I think the reason our relationships become more difficult through conversation is because we tend to judge right and wrong solely based on our own standards, and because we either place all the blame on one party or believe that they should do something.
If you treat others with that kind of attitude, they will just be pathetic beings full of problems.
--- p.32
One reason our conversations don't go well may be because we approach the other person with negative or positive labels.
Distorted interpretations and labels are violent forces that mechanize us.
Imagine if members of an organization constantly said to each other, “You are so nice.”
Even if you're angry about something at work, you might feel like you have to hide it and not express it in front of them. This can make it difficult to have an honest conversation.
What's even more tragic is that such labels increasingly become a force that prevents us from living our own lives as masters.
Because you have to use all your energy to match your opponent.
--- p.39
No one can make us angry.
We're just angry.
We may be upset when we don't get what we want, but we can't make the other person upset with us.
The more we believe that the other person is the cause of our anger, the more we believe that the other person must do something to relieve our anger.
If so, then the master of our emotions is not us, but the other person.
In other words, it means that we will hand over the keys to our lives to the other person.
Anger and rage are not emotions that can be relieved by others doing something for us, but rather emotions that require us to take better care of ourselves.
--- p.45
We suffer from a condition called 'alexithymia'.
What exactly are emotions? Renowned negotiation scholars commonly agree that it's crucial to be able to effectively understand and manage the other party's emotions.
And I tell you to make decisions based on the most rational and reasonable judgment possible.
So does that mean we should be emotional or rational?
Emotions and reason are very closely linked.
We often say, “Put your emotions aside and be rational,” but in reality, that’s impossible.
Because if anyone cannot properly see their emotions, they are prone to making very emotional judgments and acting accordingly.
In other words, only those who accurately recognize and face their emotions can make rational and reasonable judgments.
--- p.100
The core need is the 'cause of emotion'.
We may have believed that we are irritated because of the stimulation we receive from others or situations.
But the reason we feel irritated or offended is not because of the situation or the person, but because some important core need of ours has not been met.
In human relationships, rather than judging, say, “I guess that might be true from your perspective.
I find that acknowledging and accepting things like, “I admit it” helps.
Only when there is that process can an attitude of accepting different opinions emerge.
Ultimately, we come to realize that the purpose of conversation is not to solve problems, but to 'connect' with each other by understanding each other's perspectives.
The efficient problem-solving we so desperately desire in our organizations is a creative outcome that naturally occurs after we connect emotionally with one another.
--- p.23
I think the reason our relationships become more difficult through conversation is because we tend to judge right and wrong solely based on our own standards, and because we either place all the blame on one party or believe that they should do something.
If you treat others with that kind of attitude, they will just be pathetic beings full of problems.
--- p.32
One reason our conversations don't go well may be because we approach the other person with negative or positive labels.
Distorted interpretations and labels are violent forces that mechanize us.
Imagine if members of an organization constantly said to each other, “You are so nice.”
Even if you're angry about something at work, you might feel like you have to hide it and not express it in front of them. This can make it difficult to have an honest conversation.
What's even more tragic is that such labels increasingly become a force that prevents us from living our own lives as masters.
Because you have to use all your energy to match your opponent.
--- p.39
No one can make us angry.
We're just angry.
We may be upset when we don't get what we want, but we can't make the other person upset with us.
The more we believe that the other person is the cause of our anger, the more we believe that the other person must do something to relieve our anger.
If so, then the master of our emotions is not us, but the other person.
In other words, it means that we will hand over the keys to our lives to the other person.
Anger and rage are not emotions that can be relieved by others doing something for us, but rather emotions that require us to take better care of ourselves.
--- p.45
We suffer from a condition called 'alexithymia'.
What exactly are emotions? Renowned negotiation scholars commonly agree that it's crucial to be able to effectively understand and manage the other party's emotions.
And I tell you to make decisions based on the most rational and reasonable judgment possible.
So does that mean we should be emotional or rational?
Emotions and reason are very closely linked.
We often say, “Put your emotions aside and be rational,” but in reality, that’s impossible.
Because if anyone cannot properly see their emotions, they are prone to making very emotional judgments and acting accordingly.
In other words, only those who accurately recognize and face their emotions can make rational and reasonable judgments.
--- p.100
The core need is the 'cause of emotion'.
We may have believed that we are irritated because of the stimulation we receive from others or situations.
But the reason we feel irritated or offended is not because of the situation or the person, but because some important core need of ours has not been met.
--- p.106
Publisher's Review
★All royalties from the book will be donated to the cost of establishing a shelter to support children who are victims of child abuse.
Recommendation
The reason why conversation is difficult may be because we focus our first gaze on the other person.
The most valuable lesson I learned from the author is that the ability to understand others comes from first understanding yourself.
Koo Beom-jun, PD of CBS [15 Minutes to Change the World]
Witnessing the actual changes in students through education based on the ideas discussed in this book was an incredible experience, one I have never experienced in any business setting.
This book contains a guide to that process.
Park Yong-man, Chairman of the Korea Chamber of Commerce and Industry
By understanding, implementing, and practicing communication skills, you will learn how to maintain happy relationships not only with your superiors and subordinates in your organization, but also with your family and yourself.
I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to become a leader.
Shin Dong-ki, Chief Financial Officer of E-Land Group
This book contains the secrets of conversation that create beautiful empathy in relationships that respect, trust, and rely on the differences that exist between people.
For anyone who wants to communicate with a warm heart rather than a cold head, this book is an addictive must-read.
Yoo Young-man, knowledge ecologist and professor at Hanyang University
The moment I looked at the table of contents, I had an intuitive feeling that it summarized the difficulties and problems in conversations that are happening to me and around me right now.
And as I reread the 'Conversation Practice' section of each chapter, I felt that the content and structure of the cases were realistic, detailed, and highly applicable.
Dong-A Socio Holdings CEO and Vice President Lee Dong-hoon
This book will help us understand the core needs behind our counterparts' language and learn how to express our intentions honestly.
I am very grateful that this has allowed us to communicate better and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings during work.
Choi Jae-woo, Vice President of Doosan DLI
The author's words and writings are filled with life wisdom and spiritual resonance.
This is not due to mechanical knowledge or technical acquisition, but rather to an innate capacity for empathy, the wisdom of those who have courageously overcome hardships in life, and a hopeful insight into human nature.
Ham Young-jun, Visiting Professor, Department of Media Studies, Korea University
-Into the book-
I often see moments when the intuition and agile judgment that helped us solve problems actually become obstacles in interpersonal relationships.
In human relationships, rather than judging, say, “I guess that might be true from your perspective.
I find that acknowledging and accepting things like, “I admit it” helps.
Only when there is that process can an attitude of accepting different opinions emerge.
Ultimately, we come to realize that the purpose of conversation is not to solve problems, but to 'connect' with each other by understanding each other's perspectives.
The efficient problem-solving we so desperately desire in our organizations is a creative outcome that naturally occurs after we connect emotionally with one another.
--- p.23
I think the reason our relationships become more difficult through conversation is because we tend to judge right and wrong solely based on our own standards, and because we either place all the blame on one party or believe that they should do something.
If you treat others with that kind of attitude, they will just be pathetic beings full of problems.
--- p.32
One reason our conversations don't go well may be because we approach the other person with negative or positive labels.
Distorted interpretations and labels are violent forces that mechanize us.
Imagine if members of an organization constantly said to each other, “You are so nice.”
Even if you're angry about something at work, you might feel like you have to hide it and not express it in front of them. This can make it difficult to have an honest conversation.
What's even more tragic is that such labels increasingly become a force that prevents us from living our own lives as masters.
Because you have to use all your energy to match your opponent.
--- p.39
No one can make us angry.
We're just angry.
We may be upset when we don't get what we want, but we can't make the other person upset with us.
The more we believe that the other person is the cause of our anger, the more we believe that the other person must do something to relieve our anger.
If so, then the master of our emotions is not us, but the other person.
In other words, it means that we will hand over the keys to our lives to the other person.
Anger and rage are not emotions that can be relieved by others doing something for us, but rather emotions that require us to take better care of ourselves.
--- p.45
We suffer from a condition called 'alexithymia'.
What exactly are emotions? Renowned negotiation scholars commonly agree that it's crucial to be able to effectively understand and manage the other party's emotions.
And I tell you to make decisions based on the most rational and reasonable judgment possible.
So does that mean we should be emotional or rational?
Emotions and reason are very closely linked.
We often say, “Put your emotions aside and be rational,” but in reality, that’s impossible.
Because if anyone cannot properly see their emotions, they are prone to making very emotional judgments and acting accordingly.
In other words, only those who accurately recognize and face their emotions can make rational and reasonable judgments.
--- p.100
Recommendation
The reason why conversation is difficult may be because we focus our first gaze on the other person.
The most valuable lesson I learned from the author is that the ability to understand others comes from first understanding yourself.
Koo Beom-jun, PD of CBS [15 Minutes to Change the World]
Witnessing the actual changes in students through education based on the ideas discussed in this book was an incredible experience, one I have never experienced in any business setting.
This book contains a guide to that process.
Park Yong-man, Chairman of the Korea Chamber of Commerce and Industry
By understanding, implementing, and practicing communication skills, you will learn how to maintain happy relationships not only with your superiors and subordinates in your organization, but also with your family and yourself.
I highly recommend this to anyone who wants to become a leader.
Shin Dong-ki, Chief Financial Officer of E-Land Group
This book contains the secrets of conversation that create beautiful empathy in relationships that respect, trust, and rely on the differences that exist between people.
For anyone who wants to communicate with a warm heart rather than a cold head, this book is an addictive must-read.
Yoo Young-man, knowledge ecologist and professor at Hanyang University
The moment I looked at the table of contents, I had an intuitive feeling that it summarized the difficulties and problems in conversations that are happening to me and around me right now.
And as I reread the 'Conversation Practice' section of each chapter, I felt that the content and structure of the cases were realistic, detailed, and highly applicable.
Dong-A Socio Holdings CEO and Vice President Lee Dong-hoon
This book will help us understand the core needs behind our counterparts' language and learn how to express our intentions honestly.
I am very grateful that this has allowed us to communicate better and avoid unnecessary misunderstandings during work.
Choi Jae-woo, Vice President of Doosan DLI
The author's words and writings are filled with life wisdom and spiritual resonance.
This is not due to mechanical knowledge or technical acquisition, but rather to an innate capacity for empathy, the wisdom of those who have courageously overcome hardships in life, and a hopeful insight into human nature.
Ham Young-jun, Visiting Professor, Department of Media Studies, Korea University
-Into the book-
I often see moments when the intuition and agile judgment that helped us solve problems actually become obstacles in interpersonal relationships.
In human relationships, rather than judging, say, “I guess that might be true from your perspective.
I find that acknowledging and accepting things like, “I admit it” helps.
Only when there is that process can an attitude of accepting different opinions emerge.
Ultimately, we come to realize that the purpose of conversation is not to solve problems, but to 'connect' with each other by understanding each other's perspectives.
The efficient problem-solving we so desperately desire in our organizations is a creative outcome that naturally occurs after we connect emotionally with one another.
--- p.23
I think the reason our relationships become more difficult through conversation is because we tend to judge right and wrong solely based on our own standards, and because we either place all the blame on one party or believe that they should do something.
If you treat others with that kind of attitude, they will just be pathetic beings full of problems.
--- p.32
One reason our conversations don't go well may be because we approach the other person with negative or positive labels.
Distorted interpretations and labels are violent forces that mechanize us.
Imagine if members of an organization constantly said to each other, “You are so nice.”
Even if you're angry about something at work, you might feel like you have to hide it and not express it in front of them. This can make it difficult to have an honest conversation.
What's even more tragic is that such labels increasingly become a force that prevents us from living our own lives as masters.
Because you have to use all your energy to match your opponent.
--- p.39
No one can make us angry.
We're just angry.
We may be upset when we don't get what we want, but we can't make the other person upset with us.
The more we believe that the other person is the cause of our anger, the more we believe that the other person must do something to relieve our anger.
If so, then the master of our emotions is not us, but the other person.
In other words, it means that we will hand over the keys to our lives to the other person.
Anger and rage are not emotions that can be relieved by others doing something for us, but rather emotions that require us to take better care of ourselves.
--- p.45
We suffer from a condition called 'alexithymia'.
What exactly are emotions? Renowned negotiation scholars commonly agree that it's crucial to be able to effectively understand and manage the other party's emotions.
And I tell you to make decisions based on the most rational and reasonable judgment possible.
So does that mean we should be emotional or rational?
Emotions and reason are very closely linked.
We often say, “Put your emotions aside and be rational,” but in reality, that’s impossible.
Because if anyone cannot properly see their emotions, they are prone to making very emotional judgments and acting accordingly.
In other words, only those who accurately recognize and face their emotions can make rational and reasonable judgments.
--- p.100
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of publication: April 11, 2016
- Page count, weight, size: 280 pages | 474g | 148*215*20mm
- ISBN13: 9791186245170
- ISBN10: 1186245174
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