“Good conversations leave good people behind.”

The Secret to Cultivating Happiness in Your Life with a Kind Word

All human relationships and businesses begin with conversations between people.
However, while it is not difficult to find someone who is good at talking among those many conversations, it is not easy to meet someone who is good at conversation.
Why? Author Yoon Su-bin argues that for effective conversation, rather than using refined expressions, a resonant voice, or precise pronunciation, reflecting on your own conversations, refining your language, and expressing your heart through your words are more important.
Even a small and insignificant word, spoken with a thoughtful heart, can heal a wounded heart. Instead of being criticized, hearing kind words that understand the heart can change the way you view the world and make you think differently about your own values.
Good conversations add depth to work, relationships, and life.
So, people who are good at conversation tend to have many kind and affectionate people around them.
If you want to have more good people around you, if you want to be someone someone wants to be by your side, I hope you'll refer to the 44 ways to increase happiness in your life with just a few kind words in this book.

All human relationships and businesses are built on connections between people.
The conversations we have as a habit in our daily lives are our life.
The sum total of the conversations I've had since I was young is who I am today.
A conversation that comes in like a spark in an instant can change a person's destiny, or it can permeate and shape their flow of thought and values.
The accumulated conversations create a person's mood and personality.
Since I decided to become an announcer at the age of 20, I have spent about 8 years working as a freelance announcer and speech consultant, repeatedly researching and practicing countless times on how to speak well.
Thanks to that, 'Your Cellin' became an influencer in the speech field with 170,000 followers.
I coached people who came to me to have accurate pronunciation and great vocalization, and gave lectures on speaking that makes me attractive.
But at some point I started asking myself what values ​​I truly held dear.
And then I realized.
I like people who express themselves as they are and let me immerse myself in the moment of conversation, rather than people who just talk nicely.

--- pp.10-11, from “Introduction: There are many people who are good at speaking, but few who are good at conversation”

People who are good at conversation are attractive.
Sometimes it's fascinating.
Because he is good at moving people's hearts.
Additionally, people who are good at speaking are more likely to get what they want and be successful.
We are instinctively drawn to things that are attractive.
Whether the object is an object, an experience, or a person.
Professor Seo Eun-guk, a psychologist who has studied happiness for 30 years, said, "Humans' happiness increases when they encounter the most important resource."
That resource is people.
He added that this is precisely why extroverts who meet people often are happier.
We experience a heightened sense of well-being when we talk to attractive people.
That's actually true.
You may have experienced that just being close to someone you find uncomfortable drains your energy in real time, but time passes very quickly when you are with someone you find attractive.
Research on happiness shows that there are huge individual differences in happiness.
What distinguishes those who are often happy from those who are not? It's the distribution of that most important resource: people.
To be precise, the kind of people you surround yourself with determines your level of happiness.
This is why happy people are often surrounded by people with affectionate energy.
--- pp.21-22, from “Why We Need to Collect Tools for Affectionate Conversation”

What do we feel when we meet someone who speaks beautifully? It's comfort.
It is a feeling of trust that my thoughts and words will be heard without misunderstanding.
So, it is not difficult for me to be able to open up about my inner thoughts to someone who speaks kindly to me.
To feel comfortable, you must first have an attitude of listening to what the other person is saying without prejudice and with focus.
Sometimes, listening well takes more energy than speaking well.
This is because the frequency of the other person's emotions and language must be matched.
What we learn through this experience is 'what the other person wants to hear right now.'
A person who is able to perceive words sensitively and put them into the other person's heart is a person who speaks beautifully.
People who are meticulous in focusing on others will eventually get good people.
--- pp.25-27, from “How to Speak Pretty”

The first thing that the few cool adults I know have in common is that they make a cool first impression.
There is a saying that as you get older, what you say and what you feel becomes evident on your face.
This expression may be rude, but regardless of gender, I feel like their impressions are a little closer to the realm of 'cute' than 'cool'.
Because the clarity of the mind cannot be hidden by wrinkles.
Secondly, he denied some of the fact that he was a respectable person.
He shows a loving, firm resolve, saying that you can come to him for advice whenever you're having a hard time, and that he'll give it to you without any calculated judgments. However, he doesn't bother to hide the fact that he's still an incomplete human being. He's an adult who doesn't obsess over "adulthood."
Another way to comfort is to use your failures, not your successes, without hesitation. Rather than saying, "I did this and it worked out well," you focus on saying, "I did this and got hurt, so I hope you don't get hurt like that."
--- pp.49-50, from "Wish List: A Cool Adult"

Our conversation resembles nature.
I've been walking through the forest and looked up at the shadows of the leaves that were densely filling the sunlight.
It was beautiful and amazing to see that some species of trees were not entangled with each other but formed a forest in proper harmony.
It was like a painting.
This is called crown shyness.
Literally, the crowns of the trees are shy and coexist without touching each other.
The exact cause of crown aversion has not yet been identified, but there are two hypotheses.
The first hypothesis is that they keep their distance to share limited resources such as sunlight, water, and fertilizer.
In a dense forest, if plants do not keep their distance from each other, they will wither because they cannot see sunlight.
The same goes for conversations between people.
When you are in a relationship with someone new, you need to be even more considerate of each other's space and approach things with a moderate amount of caution.
A second hypothesis is that pruning occurs naturally as the tips of branches sway in the wind and rub against each other, causing them to wear down.
It is perhaps natural that friction arises when two beings who have lived differently meet.
If you find yourself excessively encroaching on each other's comfort zone, you should clearly express your intention by saying something like, "I feel uncomfortable saying that."
It is not wise to avoid friction in conversation at all costs.
This is not to say that you should have a sharp conversation without hesitation.
A person who knows how to resist by protecting himself rather than attacking, while at the same time gently yielding to the other person's position, can wisely protect his own space.
--- pp.91-92, from “Coexisting Dialogue Methods”

One day, while I was having a beer with my high school teacher for the first time in a long time, he suddenly said this to me.
“Subin, don’t meet someone who gives, meet someone who hugs you.”
"yes?"
“The person who only gives you things has his arms out.
Ultimately, you decide what you want.
If you don't meet that standard, you'll be disappointed.
The person hugging has their arms inside.
I will protect you.
So, you too, become someone who gives hugs to others.”
For several days, this phrase lingered in my mind.
I feel grateful to those who give me something, but I also have a burden on my heart that I will have to repay them someday.
But, to the person who hugs me, I want to be on his 'side'.
While writing this book, I felt that people who want to be good at speaking are like givers, and people who want to be good at conversation are like huggers.
The act of giving something is usually one-sided.
However, hugging is only possible if you leave space in your arms for the other person to enter.
People who are good at conversation are accustomed to creating a sense of security.

--- pp.233-234, from “Closing Remarks: I hope to be a person who has a conversation that embraces”