“I never knew that an introvert like me could change so much.”

Small, Sure-Fill Confidence Lessons That Change Your Life
Every time I move, my confidence builds.

After reading this book, I joined my company's marathon club and started preparing for a photography contest.
- Amazon Japan Book Review

When we start something new, anxiety often comes to mind first.
"What if I fail?" "What if I step forward and get embarrassed?" But even though they're equally scared and nervous, there's someone who takes the initiative, unlike me.
The difference between me and them does not come from personality.
They have 'experience of doing it once' and 'memories of it being okay to do it'.
As you accumulate experience trying even the smallest things, your brain remembers the safety signal that says, "It's okay to do this much," and that memory becomes the basis for your next action.
When these small actions accumulate one by one, we gain the sense that we can do it, that is, confidence.
This book says:
Confidence isn't something that suddenly arises, nor is it something you're born with.
It is called ‘mental savings’ that are accumulated little by little every day.

The author of this book, Mayumi Arikawa, is a living example of that very “small accumulation.”
Having held over 50 different jobs, including an office worker at a cosmetics company, an instructor at a private academy, a clothing store manager, a traditional clothing experience instructor, and a freelance editor, she has maintained one common habit.
The point is that I looked at the process before the result, and chose ‘let’s try it’ rather than ‘can I do it?’
Sometimes I failed and had regrets, but each time I took another step forward.
The confidence she built up step by step helped her grow into a practical book writer who resonated with hundreds of thousands of readers in Japan and Asia.
This book is a prescription for building confidence, filled with advice drawn directly from her life and experiences.

Confidence isn't something that surges when good things happen and crumbles when bad things happen.
True confidence is simply believing in yourself.
The author says:
It's okay to have no motivation, it's okay to fail.
The important thing is to believe in yourself and try even a little bit every day.
And there is one thing we must remember.
Confidence is not something that others give you, but something that you build yourself.
The confidence built up in this way becomes our greatest asset and supports our lives.


This book calmly guides you through the process of managing your inner anxiety, breaking free from the shackles of comparison, and finding your own pace in life again.
Follow these 46 small practices to build confidence in your work, relationships, and life, and you'll find yourself finding the courage to start over again.

*** 'Truly confident people' are not those who have special abilities, have experienced great success, or are praised by everyone.
Rather, even though I was a failure, a frustrated person, an unrecognized person, and a person who had been ostracized in the past, I was ‘just someone who believed in myself.’
No matter what others say, I am a person who acknowledges my own worth by saying, “It’s good to be me,” and has bright hopes that say, “I can survive somehow,” “I can do something too,” and “It’s possible to be happy.”

*** An important point to remember is that 'just doing it' will unconditionally add 1 point.
Don't worry about whether you did well or not, or what kind of evaluation you received, because we won't ask or inquire about it.
When you're having trouble deciding whether to do it or not, it's better to just go for it and get some points, as if you were playing an online game.
They say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
To build up your confidence, you need to build up even small things one by one.


*** People who have not experienced frustration and failure and have received a lot of praise from others tend to have strong self-esteem and are prone to perfectionism.
Because they subconsciously think that they 'must be acknowledged', when they make a mistake or are pointed out, they desperately make excuses saying, "It's not that, it's because of OO..." or try to rationalize by saying, "I did nothing wrong."
But honestly, this is a sign of lack of confidence.
It's another way of expressing the anxiety that 'you might think I'm a loser' or 'I might not actually be a great person'.


*** In fact, ‘confidence savings’ are largely divided into ‘Do savings’ and ‘Feel savings’.
'Do Savings' is savings that accumulate when you 'do' whatever you were planning to do.
Every time you do small things in your daily life, you develop self-efficacy, which is the belief in your own strength that says, "I can do it" and "It will be okay."
'Feel Savings' is savings that accumulate when you positively accept and 'feel' yourself, what you have, and your attitude toward the world, even if you do nothing, such as 'I like myself the way I am', 'I have great parts about myself', and 'I know how to feel happiness'.
Even if you fail to live up to the expectations of yourself or those around you, it becomes a sense of self-affirmation that allows you to have deep trust in yourself, saying, “Any country is okay,” or “I’m okay.”


*** When you see someone working with pride within an organization and earning the trust of those around them, you know that they have an 'originality' that only they can have.
However, it is not only the so-called outstanding people who are good at handling work who have ‘originality.’
If you do your best in what you can, such as being good at listening to your colleagues' concerns, making good presentation materials, or finding good places to have company dinners depending on the situation, you will create your own 'originality.'


*** Everyone feels a certain amount of anxiety when they jump into the unknown.
However, people who have a 'sense of proximity' have a habit of doing something right away with great excitement, saying, 'I've never done it before, so let's give it a try.'
As I took action without delay, I learned through experience that it was okay not to be so anxious.
I also have a habit of 'doing what I want to do right away', so I don't feel anxious at all about small challenges.
If it's a difficult challenge, I might feel a little anxious, but when I'm in a state of 'half anticipation, half anxiety', I think my desire to try it is stronger and it leads to confidence.

*** The mere fact that you have a good friend is a great source of confidence, and the more respectable the friend is, the more proud you will be of yourself for continuing your relationship with him or her.
Aren't the connections we make with people—people who just listen to our stories without saying a word, people who laugh out loud even when we say "stupid things," people who always watch over us, people we can confide in, people who don't hesitate to offer sharp advice at times, people who lend a helping hand when we're in trouble—an irreplaceable asset?

*** It's really important to clearly distinguish between 'what I am responsible for' and 'what the other person is responsible for'.
The conscious boundary between oneself and others is called a 'boundary', and people with ambiguous 'boundaries' feel distressed because they take on the other person's irritation and immature words and actions as their own.
When I sense hostility or irritation in what someone says, I just say, "Oh, I see," and ignore it.
The reason the other person is irritated may be because something is going on at home or because they are busy and have no time to think, but that is none of my business.
You don't have to worry about things like, 'Oh, did I do something wrong? Am I being hated?'
Because the other person's feelings are the other person's responsibility.


*** When things get tough, don't be conscious of your emotions, but approach it with the 3S's: 'Single', 'Short', and 'Small', and focus rationally and coolly on the present moment.
And each time you finish one, feel a sense of accomplishment by saying, “Okay, done!”
Finally, setting up an environment where you can focus and time to relax is essential.


*** A way of thinking and acting that contains aesthetics would be truly beautiful and wonderful.
It's not about whether it's right or wrong, whether it's a loss or a gain, whether others will recognize it, but rather, by simply doing this, you can 'like yourself.'
For example, if you act rationally and calmly in an angry situation, you feel proud of yourself and want to praise yourself, saying, "Good job! Haha, I think you did pretty well."
Our thoughts are always going back and forth between our 'ideal self' and our 'real self', and when they are exactly aligned, we can begin to trust ourselves.

--- From the text