“From now on, let’s call days without courage ‘pata.’”
Meet 'Pata', who is Moon Ga-young but not Moon Ga-young.

Actress Moon Ga-young's first prose collection
Layers of records to preserve my truest self
Recommended by lyricist Kim Ina and novelist Lee Hyuk-jin!

“Is the life of an actor who has lived many roles one life, or is it the life of many people?

It's not a very important question.
“What matters in life is not the number of things, but how true they are.” - Lee Hyuk-jin (novelist, author of ‘Understanding Love’)

Actress Moon Ga-young, who captured the attention of fans around the world with [True Beauty] (2020) and [Understanding Love] (2023), has published her first collection of essays.
Having played a variety of roles for 18 years and leaving a distinct impression in each work with her own unique mood, she has now appeared before the public as 'Writer Moon Ga-young'.
This book contains the intimate language of Moon Ga-young, who seeks to fiercely confront herself and the world around her by building up deep thoughts.
For those who already know her, who displays the solid inner strength characteristic of someone who meticulously crafts her thoughts over a long period of time in each interview, the news of this publication will be extremely welcome.

With a childhood spent in Germany, a reading habit that has persisted since childhood, and a special love for classical literature, she tells stories that are both her and not her through a new face called 'Pata'.
Part 1, "Record of Existence," constantly poses questions about life through extremely everyday events, which ultimately leads to a process of intense self-exploration to face one's true self.
Part 2, 'Record of Thoughts', is where actress Moon Ga-young's more honest desires are revealed, and her sharp and deep perspective on herself and the outside world stands out among the racing thoughts.
As an appendix, we have included excerpts from the actual parenting diary written by Moon Ga-young's father, which connect to episodes from Parts 1 and 2.
When you realize that scattered episodes are organically connected, or when you discover Pata's hidden message in the suggestive dialogue, you will not be able to easily put the book down.
Let's follow the gaze of Moon Ga-young, or rather Pata, who stares at the world with both eyes wide open in pursuit of the truth, so as not to be 'eaten up' by personal emotions.

“You deserve to be punished.
“The punishment of living in a world without me.”
Pata, standing facing each other, spoke.

All I can do to remember her who disappeared like that is to remember, chase after her, and write.
That is, to record.

--- p.13

“Let’s break up.”
“Give me the letter I wrote.”
As this conversation shows, Pata's letter was more important than the ending.
The letters placed on the white paper represent her emotions, and her overflowing love drips from the end of the vowels.
That's why Pata likes to reread the letters he writes over and over again.
Because the love letter you wrote is enough to make your heart flutter.
It would be great if someone would just write something like this.

I arrived home holding a beautiful letter.
I felt relieved.
'I got my heart back.
I haven't lost anything.'
--- p.21 From 「6」

“I’m looking for my identity.”
“It’s a very good time.”
“But I can’t see anything.”
Pata smiled awkwardly, and the guard spoke without looking at Pata.

“The stairs we have to climb every year are different in height and depth.
It seems like the stairs this year are particularly higher than last year.
So I guess I'm adapting.
It is not a time of chaos, but rather a blessing that has come quickly.
I need to find my identity.
That's what's going to take care of the next few years.
Don't try to clean up, just make bibimbap.
“It is a very good blessing, so don’t keep studying it, just observe it.”
--- p.32 From 「11」

The vibration rings.
Again, Pata's eyes see just an ordinary riverbank.
“How is it? Are you happy because you’re traveling?”
Pata, who was looking at his phone, brought forward his flight back to Korea instead of replying.
This choice had a clearer meaning than any answer.
I ran my tongue across the roof of my mouth and it was cracked.
It's definitely because of the baguette sandwich.
I once asked Pata what he was running from at that time.
Pata, who had been silent for a while, rolled his eyes for a long time before starting to speak.

“Thank you for always wishing me happiness…”
“People keep wishing me happiness.
“Their wishes are stuck to my body and won’t come off.” When asked if he knew it was because he loved me, he replied, “I know.
I know I'm bad.
No, I don't like this.
You keep making me look like a bad person.
They keep telling me to be happy, even though I'm just living! I guess people don't realize that's wrong.
“How selfish that heart is.”
“I ran away from that heavy mission, and they asked me again after I left.
Are you happy when you travel?
When I came back, he asked me again.
How was it?
Aren't you happy to be back?
So what did I say?”
“I said I was happy and relieved.
“I ended up giving you the answer you wanted.”
She ended her story by saying that only then did their expressions become satisfied with Pata's recognition, and then she closed her mouth and muttered something barely audible.
“I won.”
--- p.39~40 from 「13」

“Doing well means”
.
.
.
“It’s like feeding a piece of shit.
How can he ever meet someone who will treat him as well as I do until he dies?
“How uncomfortable would the world be without me?” Her friend was still looking at her, and this time Pata continued.

“Doing something well is a good thing, but there is another hidden meaning that no one knows about.
The saying goes that there is nothing to lose by being kind to everyone.
Don't doubt my sincerity.
“It just follows the shit.”
She was cheerful.

--- p.53 From 「18」

“Pattaya.
Don't run half-heartedly while warming up.
Run when you need to run, stop when you need to stop, regroup before the warning sounds, and turn every opportunity around when you're warming up.
And when it's over, I promise to leave everything in its place without any regrets.”
Just as he was about to make a promise with his grandfather, whom he had never met before, Pata woke up from his nap.
She only took a nap when she wasn't feeling well.

--- p.92 From 「33」

Suddenly, Pata spreads out his ten fingers and starts counting.
'How many books will I be able to read before I die, given the time limit?'
I can't even read as many books as there are in the bookstore...
'How many more people can I hug within the allotted time?'
I'd rather hug someone I know two or three times than hug someone new...
'How many trips can I take within a given time limit?'
Even if I go once a year, I still don't know half of the world...
--- p.109 From "40"

They say love begins with a metaphor.
The very beginning stages of a relationship where tastes change and you even create hobbies you never had before to find common ground.
I say this quite often, when I really listen to everything the other person says.
“I like rainy days.” Then every rainy day becomes a day for me.

--- p.155 From “The Taste of Metaphor”

“What will you be in your next life?”
"tree!"
My answer to my sister's question, which I gave without much difficulty, ended up making her cry.
I couldn't figure out why she was crying, but I figured it was because she loved me so much.
--- p.169 From "The Next Life"

There are people who keep saying they will support my success.

From the beginning, there was no such thing as normal for me.
Is there a place called normal that only they can see?
Are you thinking of putting me on top and then letting me fall?
I always stand still in this place, in a place where there is no height or height.
Everything passes me by, I don't move.

--- p.189 From "Tall"

Sincerity doesn't work.

--- p.197 From “Truth Doesn’t Work”

“Dad, I told you not to let go of my hand!”
It's a bold statement.
The face is flushed brightly.

The eyes looking at me were filled with fear.
“Dad is here.
“If you’re about to fall, they catch you right away.”
I felt sorry and muttered in a small voice.
'What are you afraid of when you're in my hands?'
I couldn't say these words out loud, but swallowed them inside.
The second child, Pata, must have been completely convinced that her father would be right behind her.
‘You are in my hands…’ I kept muttering.
In the frightened eyes of my four-year-old second daughter, I see absolute trust in her father.
An absolute relationship between two people in which they can freely express their anger.
This little boy leaves everything to his father and goes on a bike ride.
I grab the kid and say I'll take responsibility for everything.

--- p.294 From "Learning to Ride a Bike at 48 Months"