"I wanted to take full responsibility for my loneliness."
A very brief world where I, who could never be myself, finally believed that I existed well as myself.

Author Kim Seo-hae, who has sensually depicted the colors of relationships created by encounters with others through her short story "Poltergeist" and her first full-length novel "You Resemble My Voice" in 2023, has published her new work "Rabiu and Ring" as part of the Wisdom House short story series, Wipick.
"Rabiu and Ring" begins with university senior Joo-young welcoming Ines, a new student from Brazil, as her roommate.
From taking summer classes, working night shifts at a convenience store, to cleaning a cafe on the weekends, each tightly packed day is filled with a sense of helplessness that falls like candle wax, and Jooyoung's every step in the summer is marked by depression.
One day, after enduring another day and returning to the dormitory, a warm breeze begins to blow into Joo-young's daily life as he welcomes Ines, an exchange student from Brazil, as his new roommate.

It was frustrating not being able to escape from daily life.
Those days piled up thickly and shattered my small expectations.
The vacation already felt ruined, and that feeling, that feeling of having screwed something up from the start, was all too familiar and suffocating.
I bent down and rubbed my face against the desk, trying not to cry.
In a room with only me and the box, I whispered and whispered pettyly.
Full of complexes.
What are you complaining about when you didn't just ruin the vacation?
It's not even my fault.
Sometimes I feel like I'm just a person made up of disappointments and I don't know what to do.

--- pp.14~15

If you keep thinking about your roommate traveling abroad and the pile of boxes, you will feel depressed at every step you take.
Economic depression, consumer depression, things like that will drip down from me like wax.
Maybe I had already lost half of myself.

--- p.17

“What do you want to do in the future?”
Nothing came to mind.
I've never really thought about the future in detail.
There haven't been many days when I felt so clearly the things, atmosphere, information and knowledge, people, conversations, and thoughts and feelings surrounding me.
The whole world had no outlines, it just looked like a lump.
Yeah, people have thoughts, but it always seemed to me that I only had feelings.
--- pp.36~37

Suddenly, I felt lost, unable to understand how people could live in a world where it costs money to even drink a glass of water.
I wondered if everyone had money from the beginning, understood the principles of economics, and knew exactly what they were supposed to do.
I wondered if he was confused, if he had any interests, if he had a life plan that he could tell anyone who asked.
No matter how much I thought about it, I couldn't figure out who I was.
Sometimes I felt like I was actually a human-shaped cake made of continuous disappointment and anxiety, ready to melt and crumble at the slightest touch.

--- pp.43~44

But tears flowed first, as if I had been punished by heaven for having such a rude thought.
Perhaps what I was hoping for was a small gesture of hospitality, something like, "Let's be together, we can help each other if we stay together."
I wanted it so badly, and it was so bad that I couldn't help but burst into tears.
As soon as Ines saw me crying, she got up from bed and came to me with her arms outstretched.
What's wrong? Are you in pain? Why are you crying? I shook my head repeatedly, apologized for crying, and went into the bathroom, sobbing as I washed my entire body.
The hot breath inside my mouth was so thick that it felt like a second tongue was forming.

--- p.46

Ines said that I was very careful and my eyes sparkled when I explained the meaning of words.
At that moment, a chunk of the fog that had been building up somewhere in my head disappeared, and I was able to stop feeling disappointed in myself and at a loss for what to do because of shame.
He spoke as if he had read my mind, as if he were trying to shine a stronger light into my heart.
“You seem to like languages.
many."
Even though liking something isn't necessarily a compliment, I blushed and said thank you.
Ines had a knack for taking me apart, like opening a box, and letting something inside me come out.

--- pp.84~85

“I want to go there someday.”
As Ines opened the shower door and emerged, her hair wrapped in a towel, steam exploded into the room.
Ines looked at me as if to say, "What did you say?" as if she hadn't heard what I said.
“I want to go to your hometown.”
"good.
Come play.
“You’ll miss me?”
Ines said very quietly that I would miss her, even though we were alone in the room.
“I will definitely go see you.”

--- pp.99~100