“My child is becoming more ordinary as he grows up. What could be the problem?”

Ordinary parents kill their children's specialness!

★ Winner of the US Mom's Choice Awards and the Nautilus Book Award
★ Published in 10 countries worldwide, a long-term bestseller on Amazon in the US

If you raise your child like everyone else, even a child who was different from others will end up just like everyone else.
World-renowned child psychologists with 40 years of experience
A timeless child education project

When raising a child, there are moments when the child's talent shines.
Children are born with their own gifted moments, whether they suddenly remember and repeat a book their mom or dad read to them, are good at solving puzzles they've never done before, or show interest in artistic activities like drawing, music, or dancing. So, how can we continue to nurture our children's gifted moments?

World-renowned child psychologists Eileen Kennedy Moore and Mark S.
Löwenthal, who has counseled countless gifted and talented children, has included in his book “How to Raise a Smart Child” the principles that parents must adhere to as “guardians of their children’s talents,” along with the warning that “if you raise your child like everyone else, even that child will end up just like everyone else.”


Parenting requires a delicate balance.
A child's giftedness will quickly fade if left unchecked, but trying to hasten their cognitive and emotional development won't make them grow faster.
Especially in this day and age where it is easy to come across the 'formula for raising children well', parents must maintain focus and guide their children well.
If you want to cherish your child's gifted moments and consistently stimulate their growth, you'll find the right answer in this book.

'Potential' is a tempting but dangerous word.
You would certainly be very happy if someone told you that your child has 'great potential'.
At that moment, you may imagine your child growing up to be a great person.
But the moment we view our potential as an innate talent and calling to achieve greater success, it becomes a burden.
Potential is not a destination, but a capacity to be cultivated and learned.
Parenting requires a delicate balance.
We must cherish our children in this moment while at the same time supporting them to move forward.
Balancing both roles requires four key elements of smart parenting.
This book is based on four elements: 'the ability to empathize and see the world through a child's eyes', 'the confidence to set appropriate limits', 'the sense of responsibility to look at the child more often than turn away', and 'trust in the child's ability to grow and learn'.
Wise and loving teaching is necessary for children to develop the social and emotional skills that will serve as a foundation for living in the world.
Children need to develop the psychological tools necessary to pursue their passions, overcome challenges, connect with others, and achieve their life goals.
--- From "Introductory Remarks"

Perfectionism doesn't enhance performance; it actually lowers or hinders it.
Because if you procrastinate and delay without boldly taking on a task, it becomes more difficult to start, proceed with, or complete the task.
You may lose energy by being anxious and unable to carry out your work, or you may worry too much about trivial things and end up ruining things.
Besides, perfectionism kills creativity.
When children are overly concerned about their performance and anxious about how a real or imagined audience will react, they are less free to invent, discover, or try new approaches.
For smart children to reach their full potential, they must adopt high standards but go beyond rigid perfectionism.
You must realize that you can perform and achieve without insisting on perfectionism.
You must learn to feel sorry for yourself and let go of the idea that you must be better than others to be recognized and loved.
--- 「Chapter 1.
From "It's Okay to Not Be Perfect"

Smartphones, which can be carried anywhere at any time, are an easy way to disconnect from social life.
There's no use lamenting about a 'simpler and more humble' time.
What can be done about that in today's world?
Ultimately, children today need more support to learn how to make and keep friends.
Learning how to make friends is in many ways no different from learning how to solve math problems.
Both involve three processes: ‘figuring out, thinking about, and solving.’
To solve a math problem, you must read and understand the problem.
For example, you need to understand that “Ah, this problem is a subtraction problem!”
Then we need to come up with a strategy to set up the appropriate equation to solve the problem.
Finally, you need to practice that strategy a lot, a lot.
This way, when these types of problems arise, you can solve them accurately and confidently.
--- 「Chapter 2.
From "Smart Kids Are Lonelier"

Smart children are awakened to harsh realities before they are emotionally ready to cope.
While children their age are oblivious to or indifferent to problems like hunger, ozone layer depletion, child abuse, drunk driving, and war, these children lose sleep worrying about the same issues adults have to worry about.
There are children in the world who have to face truly terrible situations.
However, some sensitive children find such situations very difficult even without experiencing them directly.
Because they have excellent reading skills, they often come across articles or books that deal with such issues early on, or they may be heartbroken when they hear or see such information by chance.
There is no need to force children to become strong.
The compassion of those children is a lovely quality and should be respected.
However, we must teach them coping strategies to manage their distress to minimize the suffering they experience.
Also, since they are still young, you need to make them understand that they can leave the big worries to adults.
--- Chapter 3.
From "If you don't want your cleverness to hurt you"

Some children attach so much meaning to defeat that they find it difficult to cope.
“I lost” quickly turns into “I can’t do it.”
The adult said, “It’s okay.
Even if you tell them, “It’s just a game!”, it doesn’t comfort them.
For those children, defeat is like being judged as flawed and inadequate.
Even though he finds defeat difficult, he cannot embrace the loser when he wins.
Kids who have a hard time being great losers usually don't become great winners either.
When children compete, parents' reactions influence their children's perspectives on winning and losing.
If parents are too concerned about winning or losing, their children will feel pressured and will not be able to easily cope with competitive situations.
When parents get upset or annoyed when their child cries after losing a game, the already disappointed child feels that the parent is blaming them and becomes even more upset.
However, if you block your child from experiencing disappointment by completely avoiding all situations where they win or lose, you are instilling in them the perception that competition is dangerous.
Children must gradually learn the skills to tolerate defeat.
Ideally, parents should accept the pain of defeat that their children feel while also helping them learn to cope with that pain.
--- Chapter 4.
From "Children Who Risk Their Lives on Competition"

No matter how much a child protests, he or she will never die or be seriously injured from boredom.
The ability to manage boredom is a crucial life skill and plays a crucial role in developing intrinsic motivation.
If your child comes to you complaining that he or she is bored, resist the temptation to relieve him or her of the boredom.
“I’m having a hard time because I don’t know what to do.
Acknowledge your child's feelings by saying something like, "I guess there's nothing that interests you," but don't provide an answer.
The child will groan in pain.
You will twist your body and fall down carelessly on a chair or table.
You'll complain that there's nothing to do at home.
Of course, you will remember all the exciting things you did with your child.
Before your eyes, you will see all the books, toys, and games your child owns.
Resist the temptation to recite such things.
Your child will find fault with whatever you suggest.
So let's postpone the idea until later.
Additionally, suggesting engaging activities when a child complains can send the wrong message about who is responsible for managing boredom.
If you persevere, something amazing will happen: your child will figure out what to do on his own.
--- Chapter 6.
"You're smart, so why don't you try harder?"

In my personal opinion, the best parenting response to a problem that's bothering you is to just yell, "Everyone out!"
People seem happier and more relaxed just by going outside.
There is plenty of space outside to breathe deeply and run around.
Exploring our surroundings, climbing trees, building secret hideouts behind bushes, playing ball, and tag—the outdoor activities we enjoyed as children are some of the fondest memories adults often have.
However, due to our busy, goal-oriented lifestyles, children these days are unable to enjoy these pleasures.
Research has shown that just five minutes of activity in nature can boost mood and self-esteem in adults.
Scientists call this the 'green exercise.'
If adults are like this, how great it must be for children to run around and play outside!

--- Chapter 7.
From “Happy Children Grow Smarter”