The wounds I created hurt more
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Description
Book Introduction
A psychiatrist with 25 years of experience tells us
“How to Care for and Heal Your Heart”
Sometimes, our efforts to live well end up bringing us down.
Sometimes you give it your all and the results betray you, and sometimes relationships you thought would last forever fall apart overnight.
In moments like this, when we are betrayed by life, our thoughts turn to self-criticism, thinking, "Maybe this is all I am," or "Maybe there is something wrong with me."
How can we navigate the waves of negative thoughts that harm us? It's easy to believe we need to shift our "thoughts" to positive ones, but in reality, managing negative "emotions" comes first.
This is because humans have a tendency to think based on their emotions, so the more depressed they feel, the more pessimistic their thoughts become, and the more anxious they feel, the more hopeless their thoughts become.
On a good day, nagging sounds like advice, but on a bad day, compliments sound like interference.
In other words, to break free from the cycle of negative thoughts about myself and move on to a more vibrant life, I need to wisely manage my emotions, and this emotional management requires special practice.
The author, who has walked alongside patients as a psychiatrist for 25 years, understands the heavy body and mind that those suffering from depression cannot control, and so he selected and included in this book only emotional management methods that even such people can easily practice.
“When you feel depressed, go out and walk.
If walking is difficult, stand for a moment.
If standing is difficult, sit down for a moment.
If that is difficult, wear your outerwear at home,” he said, urging us to take half a step forward without burden, even if we are stuck in an emotional quagmire.
Let the profound and realistic prescriptions contained in this book help you remove the emotional curtain that has been blocking your vision and weighing on your shoulders.
If you just shake off the emotions that have piled up like dust, your life will become much lighter.
“How to Care for and Heal Your Heart”
Sometimes, our efforts to live well end up bringing us down.
Sometimes you give it your all and the results betray you, and sometimes relationships you thought would last forever fall apart overnight.
In moments like this, when we are betrayed by life, our thoughts turn to self-criticism, thinking, "Maybe this is all I am," or "Maybe there is something wrong with me."
How can we navigate the waves of negative thoughts that harm us? It's easy to believe we need to shift our "thoughts" to positive ones, but in reality, managing negative "emotions" comes first.
This is because humans have a tendency to think based on their emotions, so the more depressed they feel, the more pessimistic their thoughts become, and the more anxious they feel, the more hopeless their thoughts become.
On a good day, nagging sounds like advice, but on a bad day, compliments sound like interference.
In other words, to break free from the cycle of negative thoughts about myself and move on to a more vibrant life, I need to wisely manage my emotions, and this emotional management requires special practice.
The author, who has walked alongside patients as a psychiatrist for 25 years, understands the heavy body and mind that those suffering from depression cannot control, and so he selected and included in this book only emotional management methods that even such people can easily practice.
“When you feel depressed, go out and walk.
If walking is difficult, stand for a moment.
If standing is difficult, sit down for a moment.
If that is difficult, wear your outerwear at home,” he said, urging us to take half a step forward without burden, even if we are stuck in an emotional quagmire.
Let the profound and realistic prescriptions contained in this book help you remove the emotional curtain that has been blocking your vision and weighing on your shoulders.
If you just shake off the emotions that have piled up like dust, your life will become much lighter.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Prologue - A wise person takes care of himself first.
Chapter 1: It Was Always Me Who Hurt Me
If you hate me, the whole world becomes your enemy.
Ignoring your feelings will only hurt you.
Problems are solved without effort
If you feel depressed, stop thinking.
Wounds don't just go away
We are normal because we are abnormal
Everyone has flaws
Obsessing over happiness makes you unhappy.
Chapter 2: Knowing My Heart Comes First
Don't be fooled by fake emotions
Emotions are fleeting, feelings are long-lasting.
Only humans feel emotions
There are no wrong feelings
Ignoring your emotions will shake your life.
Knowing how to grieve means being strong.
Don't resist, just accept it.
Let's make way for emotions to pass.
There are no good feelings or bad feelings.
Chapter 3: Changing Your Attitude Changes Your Mind
The illusion of letting go
If you use your emotions too much, your ego will be depleted.
Negative emotions are a signal to rest.
Lay the foundation of your mood
Keep your distance so you don't get swept away
A person who speaks well does not speak
How to Wisely Erase Bad Memories
If I take the lead, life will follow.
Chapter 4: When your mind is tired, move your body first.
The more you rest, the more lethargic you become.
If you think too much, it becomes a swamp.
Don't wait for motivation to come
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body.
Create an activity recipe
When space changes, so does the mind.
The more you rely on alcohol, the more the wounds get worse.
Nothing changes in an instant
Chapter 5: Love Myself Just As I Am
Negative emotions can also be medicine
Don't worry about worrying
It's not sensitive, it's delicate
It's beautiful because it's not perfect
The mind needs stretching too
Relationships become easier when you accept others.
Let's accept it as it is and read it with encouragement.
Chapter 6: The moment you trust me, your life changes.
Don't hurt feelings with reason
People shine in relationships.
Being depressed doesn't mean you're abnormal.
The cause of apathy is conformity and submission.
True happiness lies in the little things.
What will be written on my tombstone?
Meaning is not found, it is created.
In the end, I am the main character of my life.
Dreams are not something you hold, they are something you take out.
Chapter 1: It Was Always Me Who Hurt Me
If you hate me, the whole world becomes your enemy.
Ignoring your feelings will only hurt you.
Problems are solved without effort
If you feel depressed, stop thinking.
Wounds don't just go away
We are normal because we are abnormal
Everyone has flaws
Obsessing over happiness makes you unhappy.
Chapter 2: Knowing My Heart Comes First
Don't be fooled by fake emotions
Emotions are fleeting, feelings are long-lasting.
Only humans feel emotions
There are no wrong feelings
Ignoring your emotions will shake your life.
Knowing how to grieve means being strong.
Don't resist, just accept it.
Let's make way for emotions to pass.
There are no good feelings or bad feelings.
Chapter 3: Changing Your Attitude Changes Your Mind
The illusion of letting go
If you use your emotions too much, your ego will be depleted.
Negative emotions are a signal to rest.
Lay the foundation of your mood
Keep your distance so you don't get swept away
A person who speaks well does not speak
How to Wisely Erase Bad Memories
If I take the lead, life will follow.
Chapter 4: When your mind is tired, move your body first.
The more you rest, the more lethargic you become.
If you think too much, it becomes a swamp.
Don't wait for motivation to come
A healthy mind resides in a healthy body.
Create an activity recipe
When space changes, so does the mind.
The more you rely on alcohol, the more the wounds get worse.
Nothing changes in an instant
Chapter 5: Love Myself Just As I Am
Negative emotions can also be medicine
Don't worry about worrying
It's not sensitive, it's delicate
It's beautiful because it's not perfect
The mind needs stretching too
Relationships become easier when you accept others.
Let's accept it as it is and read it with encouragement.
Chapter 6: The moment you trust me, your life changes.
Don't hurt feelings with reason
People shine in relationships.
Being depressed doesn't mean you're abnormal.
The cause of apathy is conformity and submission.
True happiness lies in the little things.
What will be written on my tombstone?
Meaning is not found, it is created.
In the end, I am the main character of my life.
Dreams are not something you hold, they are something you take out.
Detailed image
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Into the book
It has nothing to do with whether I have lived a good life or whether something shocking happens to me.
Feeling stressed is a sign that your current life is moving away from the values you seek in life.
So, rather than trying to find a cause that cannot be solved, it is better to think about the value of my life.
--- p.44
Living without expressing your emotions is like living in a colorless, odorless, blind place.
Sure, you might avoid conflict and feel less embarrassed in the short term, but you'll end up being dragged around by what other people want, trying to please their feelings.
--- p.67
It may seem like if your inferiority complex and complex disappear, everything will be resolved, every day will be enjoyable, and you will love yourself more than you do now, but that is not the case.
Despite our weaknesses and shortcomings, we can be happy and become better than we are now.
Rather than feeling bad about myself and trying to change myself, it is better to love myself as I am.
--- p.75
Rather than complaining, “I can’t shake off these unpleasant feelings,” it’s important to first take care of yourself by energizing your mind and body.
If you feel tired and tense after waking up, it's a good idea to tell yourself, "I might be more sensitive to stress today, so I need to be careful," and if possible, it's a good idea to work less than usual.
--- p.98
Even if you don't have motivation, you can overcome depression by moving your body.
If you wait for motivation to arise, your depression will only get worse.
No matter how much you tell yourself to think positive thoughts and try to feel positive, if you don't follow through with action, you will never escape depression.
--- p.136
No matter how many times I told a depressed person to “move your body,” he would just ignore me. After moving next to the park, he would go out on his own, get some fresh air, and come back without being told.
After adopting a dog, I started taking it for walks.
The statement, “It’s your mindset that matters, not your environment!” comes from a lack of understanding of how the human mind works.
Humans are spatial beings.
--- p.153
Emotionally sensitive people care deeply about and care about other people.
When it comes to love, even things that are usually passed by without a second thought are felt with great care.
It's okay to be sensitive.
Rather, we must be confident and sensitive.
It's okay to say, "I'm sensitive, so I can do better."
--- p.173
Humans are travelers walking towards increasingly colder places.
Life is not a trip to Thailand or Bali.
Life is such that if you live without thinking, you will soon realize that you are near the North or South Pole.
In a life that is getting colder and colder, to keep warm, you need someone by your side who can say a warm word.
That way, you can stay healthy and survive the journey of life without freezing to death.
--- p.197
The meaning of life is not somewhere far away.
It's not that rare.
It is always present in our daily lives.
A meaningful life doesn't have to involve achieving something grand.
The true meaning of life is the sparkling satisfaction that comes when you devote yourself to the small details of daily life.
Feeling stressed is a sign that your current life is moving away from the values you seek in life.
So, rather than trying to find a cause that cannot be solved, it is better to think about the value of my life.
--- p.44
Living without expressing your emotions is like living in a colorless, odorless, blind place.
Sure, you might avoid conflict and feel less embarrassed in the short term, but you'll end up being dragged around by what other people want, trying to please their feelings.
--- p.67
It may seem like if your inferiority complex and complex disappear, everything will be resolved, every day will be enjoyable, and you will love yourself more than you do now, but that is not the case.
Despite our weaknesses and shortcomings, we can be happy and become better than we are now.
Rather than feeling bad about myself and trying to change myself, it is better to love myself as I am.
--- p.75
Rather than complaining, “I can’t shake off these unpleasant feelings,” it’s important to first take care of yourself by energizing your mind and body.
If you feel tired and tense after waking up, it's a good idea to tell yourself, "I might be more sensitive to stress today, so I need to be careful," and if possible, it's a good idea to work less than usual.
--- p.98
Even if you don't have motivation, you can overcome depression by moving your body.
If you wait for motivation to arise, your depression will only get worse.
No matter how much you tell yourself to think positive thoughts and try to feel positive, if you don't follow through with action, you will never escape depression.
--- p.136
No matter how many times I told a depressed person to “move your body,” he would just ignore me. After moving next to the park, he would go out on his own, get some fresh air, and come back without being told.
After adopting a dog, I started taking it for walks.
The statement, “It’s your mindset that matters, not your environment!” comes from a lack of understanding of how the human mind works.
Humans are spatial beings.
--- p.153
Emotionally sensitive people care deeply about and care about other people.
When it comes to love, even things that are usually passed by without a second thought are felt with great care.
It's okay to be sensitive.
Rather, we must be confident and sensitive.
It's okay to say, "I'm sensitive, so I can do better."
--- p.173
Humans are travelers walking towards increasingly colder places.
Life is not a trip to Thailand or Bali.
Life is such that if you live without thinking, you will soon realize that you are near the North or South Pole.
In a life that is getting colder and colder, to keep warm, you need someone by your side who can say a warm word.
That way, you can stay healthy and survive the journey of life without freezing to death.
--- p.197
The meaning of life is not somewhere far away.
It's not that rare.
It is always present in our daily lives.
A meaningful life doesn't have to involve achieving something grand.
The true meaning of life is the sparkling satisfaction that comes when you devote yourself to the small details of daily life.
--- p.211
Publisher's Review
If you manage your emotions, you can manage your life!
What hurts me more than the rude words of others are the rude words I say to myself.
The wounds left in our hearts by blaming ourselves with words like, “Why can’t I do better?” or “Why do I keep making the same mistakes?” are invisible to us, and therefore difficult to heal.
So how can I break free from the negative framework I've imposed on myself? The author recommends "emotional management" rather than a shift in thinking.
The reason why it is more important to change your emotions than your thoughts is because, just as mold grows in dark, damp places and coughs worsen in dusty places, negative emotions lead to negative thoughts.
If you want to keep the room called life neat and tidy, you must first dry the emotions, which are the air in the room.
Let's dry out the emotional dampness that has been weighing you down with the realistic emotional management techniques contained in this book.
It is more important to resolve your current emotions than to know your past self!
Psychologists often tell people that when they have a problem, they should first look into their past.
However, the author of this book recommends that we focus on our 'present self' rather than our 'past self' to strengthen our minds.
This is because if the 'present me' does not let go of the heavy emotions that I am facing right now, I will not have the strength to explore the essential issues.
The author's emotional solutions are everyday and human.
When you're feeling depressed, I recommend going to a cafe and people-watching instead of staying home alone.
Just watching people moving busily and feeling the outside air releases a hormone called oxytocin, which regulates emotions, making you feel lighter.
Also, if you feel unwell right after waking up, it is recommended to cancel any evening plans, go home early, and take a warm shower.
When you meet someone on a sensitive day, there is a high probability that they will be offended by even the smallest words, and this will lead to repeated emotional downturns.
Even just a little break in our routine can help negative emotions leave our minds more quickly.
As a psychiatrist for 25 years, let's actively apply the emotional management solutions I've developed by helping and learning from patients to your own life.
You will be able to let good feelings last longer and bad feelings last shorter.
Turn negative emotions into your own!
This book corrects the misconceptions we have had about emotions.
Negative emotions are not a sign of weakness, but rather a 'signal' that the mind sends to me, and I correct the meaning of emotions.
According to the author, being depressed is a sign that your life isn't going the way you want it to.
So, when you're feeling down, instead of blaming yourself for your weakness and cowering, you can re-examine the direction in which you can make changes in your life.
Then the bad feelings will soon disappear, and only good results will remain in my life.
Only by learning to read these emotional signals properly can we find our way through the confusing world of life.
Just as any failure can be sublimated into wisdom for life only when faced with the courage to face disappointment head on, when we face our emotions with confidence and without hating them, we realize that they were reaching out to show us the way.
On days when life feels particularly hectic and challenging, let's believe in the solutions contained in this book and follow them.
After the negative emotions have passed, you will realize that they were actually the ones that helped you understand and guide your life.
What hurts me more than the rude words of others are the rude words I say to myself.
The wounds left in our hearts by blaming ourselves with words like, “Why can’t I do better?” or “Why do I keep making the same mistakes?” are invisible to us, and therefore difficult to heal.
So how can I break free from the negative framework I've imposed on myself? The author recommends "emotional management" rather than a shift in thinking.
The reason why it is more important to change your emotions than your thoughts is because, just as mold grows in dark, damp places and coughs worsen in dusty places, negative emotions lead to negative thoughts.
If you want to keep the room called life neat and tidy, you must first dry the emotions, which are the air in the room.
Let's dry out the emotional dampness that has been weighing you down with the realistic emotional management techniques contained in this book.
It is more important to resolve your current emotions than to know your past self!
Psychologists often tell people that when they have a problem, they should first look into their past.
However, the author of this book recommends that we focus on our 'present self' rather than our 'past self' to strengthen our minds.
This is because if the 'present me' does not let go of the heavy emotions that I am facing right now, I will not have the strength to explore the essential issues.
The author's emotional solutions are everyday and human.
When you're feeling depressed, I recommend going to a cafe and people-watching instead of staying home alone.
Just watching people moving busily and feeling the outside air releases a hormone called oxytocin, which regulates emotions, making you feel lighter.
Also, if you feel unwell right after waking up, it is recommended to cancel any evening plans, go home early, and take a warm shower.
When you meet someone on a sensitive day, there is a high probability that they will be offended by even the smallest words, and this will lead to repeated emotional downturns.
Even just a little break in our routine can help negative emotions leave our minds more quickly.
As a psychiatrist for 25 years, let's actively apply the emotional management solutions I've developed by helping and learning from patients to your own life.
You will be able to let good feelings last longer and bad feelings last shorter.
Turn negative emotions into your own!
This book corrects the misconceptions we have had about emotions.
Negative emotions are not a sign of weakness, but rather a 'signal' that the mind sends to me, and I correct the meaning of emotions.
According to the author, being depressed is a sign that your life isn't going the way you want it to.
So, when you're feeling down, instead of blaming yourself for your weakness and cowering, you can re-examine the direction in which you can make changes in your life.
Then the bad feelings will soon disappear, and only good results will remain in my life.
Only by learning to read these emotional signals properly can we find our way through the confusing world of life.
Just as any failure can be sublimated into wisdom for life only when faced with the courage to face disappointment head on, when we face our emotions with confidence and without hating them, we realize that they were reaching out to show us the way.
On days when life feels particularly hectic and challenging, let's believe in the solutions contained in this book and follow them.
After the negative emotions have passed, you will realize that they were actually the ones that helped you understand and guide your life.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: March 18, 2024
- Page count, weight, size: 232 pages | 260g | 128*188*14mm
- ISBN13: 9791191731613
- ISBN10: 1191731618
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