If you've ever met a narcissistic leader
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Description
Book Introduction
Narcissism alert,
“There is a narcissist living inside me.”
The 'me' that 'we' know
The real 'me' may be different
Today, narcissism is deeply embedded in society.
Some political leaders and business executives dismiss this as a serious problem, condoning it or even glorifying it.
In this book, Manfred Ketz de Vries, a world-renowned leader in leadership and psychoanalysis, does not limit narcissism to an individual's personality traits.
He emphasizes that it is a phenomenon of the times, formed by the complex interplay of human nature and the rapidly changing social environment.
Accordingly, the author presents perspectives for us to consider together, along with practical ways to help narcissists.
This book traces the specific manifestations of narcissism, from ancient myths to today's realities.
At the same time, we are exploring a variety of approaches that can be applied when dealing with narcissists at both an individual and group level.
Through real-world case studies, it introduces key concepts such as working alliance, emotional seesaw, the grey rock approach, boundary management, Socratic questioning, the sandwich tactic, and an empathetic attitude.
Furthermore, he emphasizes that in order to bring about change in a group, it is most important to understand the psychological dynamics operating within the group as a whole.
Ultimately, the book offers a stark warning about the destructive path that narcissism can lead to, while also encouraging readers to reflect inwardly and reclaim the values of healthy self-esteem and humility.
The author's message that "the self we perceive and the real self can be different, and understanding that gap depends on how honestly we face ourselves" will be the first step toward breaking free from the shackles of narcissism and recovering our true selves.
“There is a narcissist living inside me.”
The 'me' that 'we' know
The real 'me' may be different
Today, narcissism is deeply embedded in society.
Some political leaders and business executives dismiss this as a serious problem, condoning it or even glorifying it.
In this book, Manfred Ketz de Vries, a world-renowned leader in leadership and psychoanalysis, does not limit narcissism to an individual's personality traits.
He emphasizes that it is a phenomenon of the times, formed by the complex interplay of human nature and the rapidly changing social environment.
Accordingly, the author presents perspectives for us to consider together, along with practical ways to help narcissists.
This book traces the specific manifestations of narcissism, from ancient myths to today's realities.
At the same time, we are exploring a variety of approaches that can be applied when dealing with narcissists at both an individual and group level.
Through real-world case studies, it introduces key concepts such as working alliance, emotional seesaw, the grey rock approach, boundary management, Socratic questioning, the sandwich tactic, and an empathetic attitude.
Furthermore, he emphasizes that in order to bring about change in a group, it is most important to understand the psychological dynamics operating within the group as a whole.
Ultimately, the book offers a stark warning about the destructive path that narcissism can lead to, while also encouraging readers to reflect inwardly and reclaim the values of healthy self-esteem and humility.
The author's message that "the self we perceive and the real self can be different, and understanding that gap depends on how honestly we face ourselves" will be the first step toward breaking free from the shackles of narcissism and recovering our true selves.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Introduction
The True Face and Shadow of Narcissism
The Abyss of Narcissism: A Portrait of Ego, Power, and Anxiety
Chapter 1 Narcissus
myth
moral lesson
Narcissus sitting with his psychoanalyst
Chapter 2 Mirror, Mirror
mirror reflection
Another self
Chapter 3: The Catastrophe of Narcissism
Narcissism and Leadership
Chapter 4: The Obsession to Win
a bowl full of gold
Greed and Envy: A Dual Threat
Greed and Jealousy from an Evolutionary Perspective
Chapter 5: The Temptation of Arrogance
Narcissism and arrogance
Arrogant leadership
Chapter 6: Pride and Retribution: The Dance of Death
The Dangers of Hybris-Nemesis Leaders
Chapter 7: Malignant Narcissists
The mindset of a malignant narcissist
The villain, Javier
The essence of evil
Chapter 8: A Showdown with the Narcissist
Narcissists who threaten the organization
Take the hard road
The process of reaching 'healing'
Beyond Narcissism
Chapter 9: The Power of Groups to Shake Narcissism
group dynamics
Chapter 10: The Selfie Era
Love yourself before thinking of others.
social factors
For the next world
Conclusion
Where will we end up?
danger zone
Narcissism and Humility
The path of a virtuous cycle
The True Face and Shadow of Narcissism
The Abyss of Narcissism: A Portrait of Ego, Power, and Anxiety
Chapter 1 Narcissus
myth
moral lesson
Narcissus sitting with his psychoanalyst
Chapter 2 Mirror, Mirror
mirror reflection
Another self
Chapter 3: The Catastrophe of Narcissism
Narcissism and Leadership
Chapter 4: The Obsession to Win
a bowl full of gold
Greed and Envy: A Dual Threat
Greed and Jealousy from an Evolutionary Perspective
Chapter 5: The Temptation of Arrogance
Narcissism and arrogance
Arrogant leadership
Chapter 6: Pride and Retribution: The Dance of Death
The Dangers of Hybris-Nemesis Leaders
Chapter 7: Malignant Narcissists
The mindset of a malignant narcissist
The villain, Javier
The essence of evil
Chapter 8: A Showdown with the Narcissist
Narcissists who threaten the organization
Take the hard road
The process of reaching 'healing'
Beyond Narcissism
Chapter 9: The Power of Groups to Shake Narcissism
group dynamics
Chapter 10: The Selfie Era
Love yourself before thinking of others.
social factors
For the next world
Conclusion
Where will we end up?
danger zone
Narcissism and Humility
The path of a virtuous cycle
Detailed image
Into the book
Leadership should never be a popularity contest, and leaders must be able to put their ego aside.
But, the reality is not like that.
Unfortunately, leaders who are caught up in their own egos eventually lose their way.
--- p.19
People with strong narcissistic tendencies live with a frightened child hidden in a corner of their hearts, fearing that they are not special enough to stand out, unworthy of love, or that they don't belong anywhere.
--- p.22
Narcissus withered away like a flower blooming alone in its own place, cut off from the network of others who could help him find his place in the world.
Anyone who knows that daffodils are originally flowers that bloom in clusters cannot miss the symbolism contained in the ending of this myth.
--- p.58
It is also important to emphasize that when dealing with narcissists, you should not approach them with the expectation of 'healing'.
Nevertheless, the book argues that narcissists can recognize the problem and modify their behavior by reflecting on their behavior.
--- p.28
Just because you can see your entire body in the mirror doesn't mean you can see your true self.
--- p.67
The suffering of a narcissist is that everything in the world feels like a threat to them.
Narcissists perceive the attitude of those who do not support them as an insult to their built-up self-esteem.
This is a suffering brought on by excessive self-importance (translator's note: the tendency to think that one is more important and special than others).
--- p.85
The doppelganger is a device that explores the duality that coexists within a single character, revealing the complex divisions and contradictions that can exist within an individual.
--- p.75
People with narcissistic personality disorder lack empathy, a basic and essential human quality.
In fact, the fundamental problem with narcissism is the inability to see the world from another person's perspective.
--- p.87
At the heart of jealousy is usually a feeling of emptiness, lack, or inferiority.
--- p.113
Hitler's grandiose speeches were invariably filled with a messianic desire to "save" his nation and people from foreign oppression.
He repeatedly used symbolic words like German "pride," "dignity," "honor," and "authority" to promote his dream of future glory, while simultaneously stirring up public anger over Germany's past humiliations and wounds at the hands of foreign powers.
In particular, Hitler focused his vengeful hostility on the Jews, insisting that they should be punished for their historical responsibility for hindering the development of the German people.
--- p.147
Malignant narcissists use others to their own advantage, often with little regard for their well-being.
--- p.176
Narcissists have an incredible ability to deceive themselves, even when they know it is in their best interest.
--- p.215
The truth is that when you put your employees' needs before your own, the business unit you're in charge of can grow significantly.
When the energy used to show off one's own achievements is used to encourage employees, much better results are achieved.
But, the reality is not like that.
Unfortunately, leaders who are caught up in their own egos eventually lose their way.
--- p.19
People with strong narcissistic tendencies live with a frightened child hidden in a corner of their hearts, fearing that they are not special enough to stand out, unworthy of love, or that they don't belong anywhere.
--- p.22
Narcissus withered away like a flower blooming alone in its own place, cut off from the network of others who could help him find his place in the world.
Anyone who knows that daffodils are originally flowers that bloom in clusters cannot miss the symbolism contained in the ending of this myth.
--- p.58
It is also important to emphasize that when dealing with narcissists, you should not approach them with the expectation of 'healing'.
Nevertheless, the book argues that narcissists can recognize the problem and modify their behavior by reflecting on their behavior.
--- p.28
Just because you can see your entire body in the mirror doesn't mean you can see your true self.
--- p.67
The suffering of a narcissist is that everything in the world feels like a threat to them.
Narcissists perceive the attitude of those who do not support them as an insult to their built-up self-esteem.
This is a suffering brought on by excessive self-importance (translator's note: the tendency to think that one is more important and special than others).
--- p.85
The doppelganger is a device that explores the duality that coexists within a single character, revealing the complex divisions and contradictions that can exist within an individual.
--- p.75
People with narcissistic personality disorder lack empathy, a basic and essential human quality.
In fact, the fundamental problem with narcissism is the inability to see the world from another person's perspective.
--- p.87
At the heart of jealousy is usually a feeling of emptiness, lack, or inferiority.
--- p.113
Hitler's grandiose speeches were invariably filled with a messianic desire to "save" his nation and people from foreign oppression.
He repeatedly used symbolic words like German "pride," "dignity," "honor," and "authority" to promote his dream of future glory, while simultaneously stirring up public anger over Germany's past humiliations and wounds at the hands of foreign powers.
In particular, Hitler focused his vengeful hostility on the Jews, insisting that they should be punished for their historical responsibility for hindering the development of the German people.
--- p.147
Malignant narcissists use others to their own advantage, often with little regard for their well-being.
--- p.176
Narcissists have an incredible ability to deceive themselves, even when they know it is in their best interest.
--- p.215
The truth is that when you put your employees' needs before your own, the business unit you're in charge of can grow significantly.
When the energy used to show off one's own achievements is used to encourage employees, much better results are achieved.
--- p.232
Publisher's Review
What if my leader is a narcissist?
A world-renowned leader in leadership and psychoanalysis
Modern Narcissism Dissected by Professor Manfred
This book delves into the problems that narcissism can cause through the lens of Narcissus, a symbolic figure from ancient mythology.
It delves into how narcissism, beyond mere self-love, can lead to ruin in modern society, while emphasizing the virtues of healthy self-esteem and humility.
The author was deeply inspired to write this book by Todd Field's film Tar.
The film depicts the downfall of a female conductor at the pinnacle of success, obsessed with power and desire, revealing the essence of narcissism.
The protagonist, Lydia Tarr, is a brilliantly gifted classical conductor, and her story explores the complexities of art, power, and human relationships.
Tar achieves success by utilizing his talents, but at the same time falls into the trap of narcissism.
The film shows how, while in power, she manipulates those around her, ultimately bringing about her own downfall. Throughout this process, Tar fails to fully grasp the depths of her narcissism that are destroying her relationships.
The painful lesson that “the more arrogant a being, the more easily it falls” is highlighted even more clearly through her downfall.
Furthermore, the author emphasizes that narcissism is not simply self-love, but a complex phenomenon that arises from the combination of human nature and the social environment.
In particular, it points out that platforms such as social media are playing a role in promoting narcissism in modern society.
People are increasingly inclined to exaggerate their own image and to confirm their self-worth through comparison with others.
This phenomenon suggests that narcissism is not simply an individual problem, but is spreading throughout society.
From the ancient myth of Narcissus to the selfie-taking crowd of the SNS era
The Art of Relationships, a Contemporary Art
Chapter 1 takes an in-depth look at the myth of Narcissus.
By closely analyzing Narcissus from the perspective of behavioral development and examining the Narcissus myth from various angles from a modern perspective, we introduce helpful content for understanding narcissism.
Chapter 2 examines the concept of the 'mirror' as a tool for self-awareness.
Mirrors provide an opportunity to explore not only our outer appearance but also our inner self.
Chapter 3 explores the definition and components of narcissism, its characteristics, and the relationship between narcissism and leadership.
Chapter 4 explores narcissists' obsession with winning to help us understand how they think and act.
In Chapter 5, we return to Greek mythology once again to explore the theme of 'arrogance'.
Chapter 6 explores the relationship between Narcissus and the goddess Nemesis in Greek mythology within the context of hubris, while Chapters 7 and 8 explore the challenges of working with people with narcissistic tendencies.
The final chapter explains the impact of narcissistic behavior on society and how narcissism manifests itself in modern society through various examples.
In particular, the phenomenon of the younger generation showing off themselves through social media and feeling a gap in their relationships with others is presented as a typical example of narcissism.
The author emphasizes that this tendency is not simply an individual problem, but a complex phenomenon influenced by social structure and culture.
Narcissism is what pulls us all towards it.
Gravity of Destruction
The author emphasizes the importance of humility and self-reflection as a way to overcome narcissism.
Recognizing that narcissism is a shortcut to ruin, he argues that to overcome it, we must reflect on our emotions and actions and practice empathy and compassion in our relationships with others.
This book explores the complexities of modern society through the theme of narcissism, offering readers profound insights.
The author's statement that "narcissism is like a gravity that pulls us all together" shows that narcissism has become a social phenomenon that goes beyond an individual problem.
A world-renowned leader in leadership and psychoanalysis
Modern Narcissism Dissected by Professor Manfred
This book delves into the problems that narcissism can cause through the lens of Narcissus, a symbolic figure from ancient mythology.
It delves into how narcissism, beyond mere self-love, can lead to ruin in modern society, while emphasizing the virtues of healthy self-esteem and humility.
The author was deeply inspired to write this book by Todd Field's film Tar.
The film depicts the downfall of a female conductor at the pinnacle of success, obsessed with power and desire, revealing the essence of narcissism.
The protagonist, Lydia Tarr, is a brilliantly gifted classical conductor, and her story explores the complexities of art, power, and human relationships.
Tar achieves success by utilizing his talents, but at the same time falls into the trap of narcissism.
The film shows how, while in power, she manipulates those around her, ultimately bringing about her own downfall. Throughout this process, Tar fails to fully grasp the depths of her narcissism that are destroying her relationships.
The painful lesson that “the more arrogant a being, the more easily it falls” is highlighted even more clearly through her downfall.
Furthermore, the author emphasizes that narcissism is not simply self-love, but a complex phenomenon that arises from the combination of human nature and the social environment.
In particular, it points out that platforms such as social media are playing a role in promoting narcissism in modern society.
People are increasingly inclined to exaggerate their own image and to confirm their self-worth through comparison with others.
This phenomenon suggests that narcissism is not simply an individual problem, but is spreading throughout society.
From the ancient myth of Narcissus to the selfie-taking crowd of the SNS era
The Art of Relationships, a Contemporary Art
Chapter 1 takes an in-depth look at the myth of Narcissus.
By closely analyzing Narcissus from the perspective of behavioral development and examining the Narcissus myth from various angles from a modern perspective, we introduce helpful content for understanding narcissism.
Chapter 2 examines the concept of the 'mirror' as a tool for self-awareness.
Mirrors provide an opportunity to explore not only our outer appearance but also our inner self.
Chapter 3 explores the definition and components of narcissism, its characteristics, and the relationship between narcissism and leadership.
Chapter 4 explores narcissists' obsession with winning to help us understand how they think and act.
In Chapter 5, we return to Greek mythology once again to explore the theme of 'arrogance'.
Chapter 6 explores the relationship between Narcissus and the goddess Nemesis in Greek mythology within the context of hubris, while Chapters 7 and 8 explore the challenges of working with people with narcissistic tendencies.
The final chapter explains the impact of narcissistic behavior on society and how narcissism manifests itself in modern society through various examples.
In particular, the phenomenon of the younger generation showing off themselves through social media and feeling a gap in their relationships with others is presented as a typical example of narcissism.
The author emphasizes that this tendency is not simply an individual problem, but a complex phenomenon influenced by social structure and culture.
Narcissism is what pulls us all towards it.
Gravity of Destruction
The author emphasizes the importance of humility and self-reflection as a way to overcome narcissism.
Recognizing that narcissism is a shortcut to ruin, he argues that to overcome it, we must reflect on our emotions and actions and practice empathy and compassion in our relationships with others.
This book explores the complexities of modern society through the theme of narcissism, offering readers profound insights.
The author's statement that "narcissism is like a gravity that pulls us all together" shows that narcissism has become a social phenomenon that goes beyond an individual problem.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: October 27, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 288 pages | 338g | 130*200*18mm
- ISBN13: 9791199444515
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