Opening remarks: We are in the growth period

PART 01 The child is in puberty, the mother is in growth period

01 What is nonviolence?
[Mom's Diary] The Terrible Adolescence
[A Child's Diary] The Worst Person in the World, My Mom
[NVC Thoughts] Between Violence and Nonviolence

02 Why Nonviolent Communication is Necessary
[Mom's Diary] Mom is in pain!
[Child's Diary] Can my mom change?
[NVC Thoughts] How to Converse While Maintaining Humanity

03 Purpose and Model of Nonviolent Communication
[Mom's Diary] Hey! Are you done talking?
[Child's Diary] Mom, do whatever you want!
[NVC Thoughts] Compassionate Dialogue, the Language of Life

04 Factors that hinder true communication
[Mom's Diary] Traitor!
[Child's Diary] I was just unlucky!
[NVC Thoughts] Factors That Block True Communication

PART 02 Loving My Teenage Child Through Nonviolent Communication

01 Observation
[Mom's Diary] A Heart-Pounding Phone Call from My Teacher
[Child's Diary] It's not fun, what can I do?
[NVC Thoughts] Separating Evaluation and Observation
[Observation through examples] “You don’t deserve to eat this!”
[NVC Practice] Observation or Evaluation?

02 Feeling
[Mom's Diary] The daughter I met at the police station
[Child's Diary] I feel wronged and angry.
[NVC Thoughts] Noticing and Expressing Feelings
[Expressing the feeling of learning through examples] "If I talk to you, you're not human."
[NVC Practice] Was the feeling expressed?

03 Desire
[Mom's Diary] My Child's Constant Lies
[Child's Diary] If only I could be free...
[NVC Thoughts] Desire is the Source of Feeling
[Recognizing the Need to Learn Through Case Studies] Taerang, a Game Addicted
[NVC Practice] Becoming Aware of Desires
[NVC Practice] What are your feelings and desires?

04 Request
[Mom's Diary] Oh my, my fate!
[Child's Diary] What are we, ghosts?
[NVC Thoughts] A Request to Enrich Your Life
[Learning about asking through examples] My junior's money is my money
[NVC Practice] Is this a clear request?

PART 03 Baby Giraffe Dancing with Mother Giraffe

01 Four options when you hear something difficult to hear
[Mom's Diary] Will you cry like that even if your parents die?
[Child's Diary] Bad boy, my little brother!
[NVC Thoughts] Four Attitudes to Accepting Situations
[Four Attitudes Learned Through Case Studies] A Mother's Pain After Remarriage
[NVC Practice] Guessing Four Attitudes

02 Empathize
[Mom's Diary] Mom, I don't think I can go to college!
[Child's Diary] I Want to Study Well Too
[NVC Thoughts] Empathy is just being there.
[Empathy through Case Studies 1] My Daughter is the Texting King
[Learning Empathy Through Case Studies 2] Mom Didn't Fulfill Her Duty
[NVC Practice] What are the child's feelings and needs?

03 Congratulations and condolences
[Mom's Diary] Let's run!
[Child's Diary] Cutting Through the Wind
[NVC Thoughts] Celebrate when you're happy, mourn when you're sad.
[Celebration and Mourning Through Case Studies] The Tough Holidays

04 The puberty of a jackal into the puberty of a giraffe
Jackal's Puberty Part 1: This is the infirmary, so come and take care of the accident.
[Mom's Diary] Is my child an alien?
[Child's Diary] A Day of Help from Heaven
[NVC Thoughts] The Joy of Connecting with Children

Jackal's Puberty Part 2: I Just Found Something Fun
[Mom's Diary] A Gorgeous and Brilliant Adolescence
[A Child's Diary] A Prank Turns into a Big Problem
[NVC Thoughts] The Jackal's Words and the Giraffe's Empathy

Jackal's Puberty Part 3: The Pursuit of the Infernal
[Mom's Diary] Children are their parents' teachers.
[Child's Diary] I take care of my own studies!
[NVC Thoughts] Reading Your Child's Mind

Jackal's Puberty Part 4: I am Hero Minwoo!
[Mom's Diary] The Psychology of a Hero
[A Child's Diary] The End of the Yogurt Incident
[NVC Thoughts] Self-Empathy and Connection

Jackal's Puberty Part 5: Just Say Sorry
[Mom's Diary] A day that surprised us all
[A Child's Diary] Dad's First Apology
[NVC Thoughts] The Power of Honest Communication

05 Connecting with Myself through Compassion - Self-Empathy
[Mom's Diary] I'm a Jackal Mom
[Child's Diary] I'm upset right now
[NVC Thoughts] The first step is to empathize with myself.
[NVC Practice] “I want to be a giraffe mom too!”

06 Work that requires effort
[Mom's Diary] Mom, I need to put in some effort!
[Child's Diary] What power?
[NVC Thoughts] Working to Protect
[NVC Practice] Protection or Punishment?

07 Thank you
[Mom's Diary] A Child is a Gift
[Child's Diary] My parents are a gift to me too.
[NVC Thoughts] Giraffe-style Gratitude

Appendix_Understanding Puberty

★Highly recommended by family psychologist Professor Nam-ok Lee!!
An Introduction & Practice Guide to Nonviolent Communication: The Best for Korean Family Environments

- Korea's first internationally certified nonviolent communication trainer
- Former Director of the Korea Nonviolent Communication Education Center
- Development and operation of the Korean-style parenting program 'Giraffe Parent School'
- More than 5,000 parenting education and non-violent communication lectures

My child is so unpredictable, is he an alien?
Nonviolent Communication: Connecting with Your Teenage Child

“What did your mom do for you?”
“I take care of my own work.”
“I’m going out of the house.”

My child's rebellion destroys my self-esteem and makes me uncontrollably angry.
I can't calm down at all, so I nag and criticize the child.
Looking at the sleeping child, I shed tears of guilt, thinking, 'I should have waited a little longer as an adult.'
This is a situation that any parent of a teenager would have experienced at least once.
Can I really communicate with my adolescent child, who is prone to mood swings and unpredictable behavior?

Lee Yoon-jung, Korea's first internationally certified nonviolent communication trainer, has published "Nonviolent Communication Classes for Our Families," an introductory and practical guide to nonviolent communication best suited to the Korean family environment.
The author, who served as the vice president of the Korea Center for Nonviolent Communication and the president of the Korea Nonviolent Communication Education Institute, developed the 'Giraffe Parenting School' as a one-year nonviolent communication parenting education (NVC parenting) course and has been running it for 10 years, and has conducted over 5,000 lectures to date.
As part of our efforts to create a world where parents and adolescent children can communicate happily through non-violent communication, we have compiled our expertise into this book.

Nonviolent communication is a communication method that fosters the ability to maintain humanity even in difficult conflict situations.
The author says that parents and children can be happy together if they communicate and connect with each other through these conversational methods.
This book is not a simple theoretical book that unconditionally supports nonviolence and provides explanations of concepts.
It is structured in a format where a mother overcomes the conflicts and confusion she experiences while raising three adolescent children through the practice of nonviolent communication.
"Mom's Diary" contains the frustrating and upsetting feelings of a mother raising a teenage child, while "Child's Diary" contains the inner feelings of a child who is tired of studying stress and nagging from their parents.
In "NVC Thoughts," the differences in perspective between the child and the parent, as seen in the two diaries, are resolved through nonviolent communication.
In "NVC Practice," you can practice the basic model of nonviolent communication, "Observation-Feeling-Need-Request," to suit your own situation.
"Appendix: Understanding Puberty" provides easy-to-understand information on the characteristics of adolescent children based on scientific knowledge.

The author, who has been running the parenting education program "Giraffe Parent School," which is best suited to the Korean family environment, for 10 years, has included everything about nonviolent communication for parents in this one book, from the concept of nonviolent communication to vivid examples and practical methods.
Many parents want to rebuild their relationships with their children, but don't know where or how to start.
This book will guide you to communicate with your adolescent child by naturally practicing nonviolent communication, which can feel abstract and difficult, in real life.


A mother's and her child's journey through puberty.

The author, who experienced many conflicts while raising two teenage sons, presents the protagonist as “our ordinary mother,” not as a “nonviolent communication expert.”
A mother is in despair as she struggles to communicate with her three teenage children.
For example, on the last day of midterms, a mother who expected her eldest son to come home around 11 o'clock becomes anxious when he does not come home without contacting her.
When her son came home at 2 o'clock, saying he hadn't been able to answer her phone because he was playing soccer, his mother snapped at him, calling him "pathetic."
My son doesn't support me either.
“So what?
"You can't even play until late at night, and you can't just come back after a bit? I didn't ask you to wait, did I? Don't worry about me and do whatever you want." "Hey! Are you done talking?" After conversations like this, both mother and son are heartbroken and distressed.

A son who lies as easily as eating rice and a mother whose heart breaks.
In the mother's mind, only criticism of the child occurs, and eventually a violent conversation ensues in which they blame each other.
Fortunately, the mother, who had tried nonviolent communication, however clumsily, was able to confirm what each of them truly wanted.
The mother's desire was 'trust in her son', and the son's desire was 'freedom, fun, and play'.
Eventually, the two achieve a result by making a promise to each other to fulfill each other's desires.

This vividly portrays the adolescence experienced by a mother who is always on the edge and her child who is always struggling, and the process of overcoming it.
The examples give us hope that we can find ways to empathize and love each other through dialogue in any situation.


A heartbreaking story of nonviolent communication in action.

Also interesting are the anecdotes of other parents who are frustrated and distressed by the unexpected reactions and attitudes of their adolescent children.
A father with a daughter in her second year of high school said to his daughter, "What do you know about me? Don't pretend to know anything.
I hear people say, “Even drunken dads know that much.”
The wounded father confesses that he even thought, “If I talk to him, he’s not human!”
Then, I suddenly remembered the words of the teacher I learned at the Nonviolent Communication workshop: “Don’t judge or evaluate, just observe, and then carefully examine your feelings and desires before deciding on your course of action.”
The father looks into his 'feelings of regret and loneliness at not being able to get along well with his daughter' and realizes his 'desire to communicate more intimately with his daughter.'
After practicing conversation as he had learned, the father musters up the courage to express his feelings to his daughter.
What returned was the smile of my daughter that I had longed for so much.

The heartbreaking stories of parents who took the first step toward their children are enough to give anyone the courage to practice nonviolent communication.


Nonviolent Communication Workbook: Starting with Parenting Education

In nonviolent communication, attention is paid to four elements for human relationships that are based on giving and receiving from the heart.


① Observation: Express what you see and hear as it is, as if taking a picture or recording it, without evaluating it.
Example) “Jihu, when I heard you were leaving home”

② Feeling: Expresses the feeling about what has been observed, that is, the reaction of the body and mind.
Example) “I felt like my heart was breaking.
“I felt anxious and empty.”

③ Desire: Recognize and express the desire that is the source of feeling.

Example) “Mom loves you more and wants to live happily together in this house.”

④ Request: Express what you want others to do to enrich your life.

Example) “What do you think?”

At the end of each chapter, you can practice the basic model of nonviolent communication, 'Observation-Feeling-Need-Request', in a fun way based on real-life situations, and refer to children's responses, so it can also be used as a nonviolent communication workbook.

Most suitable for Korean home environment
An introduction and practical guide to nonviolent communication

Is there another book that introduces the abstract topic of nonviolent communication in such an easy and fun way?
Each episode is filled with stories that bring tears and laughter, making it a quick read.
It also presents a very realistic picture of the problems faced by parents and youth living in Korean society and suggests tailored solutions.
This is an easy and fun introduction to nonviolent communication and a practical guide that is best suited for application in the Korean home environment.


“A child’s puberty is a challenge for both parents and children.
I hope you realize that this is the greatest opportunity for growth.” _From the opening remarks

As the author says, a child's adolescence can be an opportunity for growth for both the child and the parent.
I recommend this book to all parents in Korea who have difficulty communicating with their adolescent children.
Nonviolent communication is the best tool for creating a happy relationship between parents and children.