“Can I really be with this person for the rest of my life?
Is this the spouse God has prepared for me?
“Will I be able to build God’s family well?”

Two people about to get married.
We decided to walk together, but we can't just be happy.
Instead of holding a bouquet of flowers, you feel the weight of life in your hands, and instead of excitement, worry and fear weigh on your heart.
I believed that love would be enough, but as marriage got closer, my confidence turned to anxiety.
We decided to get married because we loved each other so much, because we didn't want to lose each other, but why do we keep fighting, not understanding each other's feelings, and only hurt each other?
I thought I would be happy once I got married.
But the reality is not like that.
Every day we encounter problems that cannot be solved.
There are so many moments when I wish someone would just give me the answers.
So even if you read the manual and attend the lectures, your concerns are not easily resolved.

“What you shouldn’t miss when preparing for marriage
A book that tells you what it is,
“The heart of marriage that we must know.”

"The Heart of Marriage" is a book that shares the author's vivid experiences and the wisdom gained from talking with many couples.
The shaky times during the mysterious yet realistic journey of marriage are unraveled in essay format.
What should you prepare for a stable married life?
What does it mean to be independent from your parents?
How can we rekindle a love that is slowly cooling down?
What does a family of faith given by God look like?
As we follow these stories, we soon come to understand the 'heart of marriage' that God speaks of.
These calm yet confident sentences will bring deep empathy and grace.
If you listen to married couples' stories, not all of them say they are happy and satisfied.
So, does that mean their marriage was a failure? The truth is, we embark on life's most complex journey, marriage, without ever learning how to get married or how to live as a couple.
This book will be of great help to couples who are sometimes weary and shaken by the reality that differs from their expectations.

“For those who were comfortable being alone and therefore had difficulty deciding to get married.
To those who were not confident in loving one person for the rest of their lives,
“I share this book with you, as it gives you courage and confidence.”

"The Heart of Marriage" is a book about the process in which two imperfect people gradually get to know and understand each other.
This book quietly asks why we choose to walk together in life, even when we are shaken by the same wounds at times, and whether that is true love.
For those hesitant about marriage and those who find love burdensome, this book will serve as a warm and honest guide.

As you go through sorrow and joy, anger and delight, guided by His hand, at some point you will see it clearly.
What I dreamed of was just a decent house, but the house he was building was a palace for a king to reside in.
Heaven has already come to us.
--- From "As His Hand Leads"

Marriage is not an oasis in the desert, nor is it a flowery path that rewards a life lived with integrity.
Marriage is not a destination we must reach.
Marriage is simply a journey where two people who had been walking their own paths now promise to walk together.
It is a path where two broken and wounded people meet and decide to embrace and help each other.
--- From "The Path We Decided to Take Along with Despair"

The reason conflicts arise is not simply because we are ‘different’.
That's because we are still growing into the likeness of Jesus.
What God is telling us through marriage is that there is nothing good in us.
We are not inherently capable of loving others.

We must keep fighting.
We must fight against the arrogance that says, "If I try, I can do well," the laziness that neglects fellowship with God, and the foolishness of relying on luck rather than grace.
And we must listen only to the word of God.
God, who placed us in a relationship called marriage, will shape us into beings who know how to give and receive love.
--- From "We Are Incapable of Love"

If the reason for seeking out a 'person of faith' is simply to get a better person, then it may be self-serving in the name of faith.
If you use faith as a condition for a better person or a more perfect marriage, it is no different from pursuing worldly conditions.
Maybe we are simply using the tool of faith to perfect a ‘better version of ourselves.’
--- From "Reasons for Seeking a Faithful Person"

Money worries make me think only of myself.
That selfishness prevents love from flowing.
If there is no benefit, it leads to a state where one cannot give faith or love.
This is why Jesus said, “Do not worry about what you will eat or what you will wear.”
There is no room for love in a life filled with worry.
--- From "Is love a luxury if you have nothing?"

Trying to change things to suit my heart is not love.
Love is not giving up even when your thorns prick me.
Sitting together and crying in the sadness that cannot be overcome.
Love is the heart that worries about wanting to be of help to you now, instead of saying that it will do anything for you.
It is the Holy Spirit's job to heal each other.
There is only one thing we can do, and that is to love.
--- From "Can I Love You Only If I Fix It?"

To love with God's love is to walk a path where truth and mercy are in sharp contrast.
We must embrace our weaknesses with a broad heart, yet have the courage to lead each other to become more like Christ.
It takes patience to forgive infinitely, yet pray and wait for the stubbornness to subside.

Marriage is not about two perfect people meeting and becoming more perfect.
It is a process in which two imperfect people willingly give themselves to each other, and eventually interlock and find a suitable shape.
Maturity is more important than intoxication, and growth is more important than excitement.
That deep joy is the fruit of love.
--- From "It's Okay to Not Be Perfect"

If you can't even endure this level of conflict, then there's no need to look far ahead; it's just over there.
Conflict reveals what is inside us.
Whether it was something you wanted, something you wanted to show off, or something you truly loved.
--- From "Show Me My Bottom"

Independence is not separation.
It's not like I'm acting like I don't know you.
It's about respecting each other's different rhythms of life.

A person who loves his parents while maintaining his own values, and who respects his parents while maintaining different boundaries, stands as an independent being in society.
Marriage is a choice, but independence is a necessity.
--- From "I have to leave"

The heart is giving.
The moment you give it, that feeling is absorbed into that person's inner self and becomes nutrients.
A good heart becomes good nutrients that help him live and grow.
Wouldn't that person's happiness be enough?
A heart that forgets its own hunger and looks at his full stomach.
Isn't that love?
We are receiving that love now.
--- From "Are you giving or lending?"

There may be days when I spend alone, but I always want to wait for you in the same place, with the same heart.
I hope that whenever you need someone to lean on, I'm the first person that comes to mind.
As the end of a hard day approaches, I hope you feel like you want to go to me.
I hope I can be a rest to you.
--- From "A Place to Rest"

Would it have been better if I had been more careful? I might have chosen a better person.
But could I have lived my life satisfied with that choice? Perhaps regret doesn't stem from a wrong choice, but from a heart that never knows how to be satisfied.

Dissatisfaction stems from the delusion that “a better life than this suits me.”
It is a poor heart that cannot be grateful.
Regret is the product of excessive self-consciousness that our mistakes can disrupt even God's plans.
--- From "Would it have been better if I had been more careful back then?"

Love has opened my eyes.
I finally began to see your loneliness, which must have been as deep as mine, and your life, which must have been as arduous as my fierceness.
As much as I couldn't give you everything, that was the best you could do.
--- From "Only Now Can We See Each Other's Lives"

Being truly good at being alone means knowing your own lovability without necessarily having to confirm that you are loved.
It means maintaining honesty and sincerity even when no one is watching, and knowing how to get along comfortably with others as much as you are comfortable being alone.
Rather than always guarding myself with vigilance, I am willing to give myself away, but without losing myself.
It is the heart that knows how to lean on someone quietly and say thank you without waving their hand when they offer you a shoulder.
--- From "Becoming Numb to Loneliness"

A person who knows how to handle conflict well ends up being a good spouse.
The more you talk, the more confused you may become.
Or you may fall in love more deeply.
Whatever path you take, choices come with responsibilities.
When we faithfully take on that responsibility, we grow.
And let's not forget.
That there is a God who always holds us up beyond the weight we carry.
--- From "Things You Must Talk About Before Marriage"

Complete understanding cannot be a condition of love.
Love is rather accepting the incomprehensible you.
The humility that I may not know, that I do not guess the meaning of your smile, the words you swallow in silence, helps me not to hastily define you.

Love is the heart that constantly wants to know.
It's about reaching out to you, asking, listening, and never giving up on becoming one.
It's about making eye contact and wanting to know more, rather than turning away and saying you don't know.
Even if the conflict drags on, don't be easily discouraged and don't criticize with a confident voice.
--- From "The Joy of Discovering the Universe That Is You"

There are times when I want to fill my shortcomings through others.
I also want to mix my color with the other person's color and become a 'good-looking person'.
They unconditionally try to fit in with the other person and become like them.
But the color you get that way doesn't last long.
People who haven't found their own color become anxious, impatient, and eventually dependent on others.
That's where the ruin of a relationship always begins.
So let's stop for a moment and look at who I am.

--- From "Marriage, a Time to Get to Know Myself"