“Life is as painful and painful as it is valuable.”
The Psychology of Happy Masochists Who Dream of Meaningful Lives
Highly recommended by reporters Kim Ji-soo, Susan Cain, and Adam Grant!
A new book by Paul Bloom, a Yale psychology professor and authority on developmental psychology.

Why do some people scream at horrific horror movies, indulge in gut-wrenchingly spicy food, and participate in grueling triathlons that push their bodies to their limits? And who are the people who climb Mount Everest, volunteer for life-threatening combat, and dedicate their lives to helping others?

Yale University psychology professor Paul Bloom's new book, "The Best Pain," explores cutting-edge issues in modern psychology, focusing on "these benign pains that add pleasure to life, provide immersion, and help us discover true meaning."
Following the previous work, "Betrayal of Empathy," this work reveals the secrets of human nature by thoroughly uncovering the paradoxical psychology of pain and pleasure, which seemed impossible to reconcile.
Above all, it will help those who want to escape meaningless boredom and move towards a fulfilling life find the sweet spot between happiness and unhappiness.

As novelist Walker Percy wrote, “Fiction doesn’t tell us what we don’t know.
Instead, it tells us stories we know but don't know that we know." This saying is sometimes applied to psychology as well.
I'm going to tell you about things you didn't know you knew.
--- p.28

Psychologists who study benign masochism are fond of quoting a statement made by a woman who played a dominant role:
“A whip is a great way to make someone be in the moment,” she said.
“They can’t turn their eyes to anything else, they can’t think of anything else,” he said.
Rumi, the 13th-century Sufi mystic, agrees with this statement, asking, “Where is indifference when suffering intervenes?” (He also wrote:
“Pursue suffering! Pursue suffering, suffering, suffering!”).
This method has its own charm.
Pain can relieve anxiety by moving it away from consciousness.
In other words, it gets you out of your head.
--- p.97

Some people say that after crying a lot, their mind feels at ease.
However, it is generally wrong to say that negative emotions have a cleansing effect.
Many people have left the lights on at night for a while after being shocked and running away from a great horror movie.
In a recent survey of horror movie fans, the majority said they felt more scared after watching a movie.
Only one in 20 people reported feeling less scared.
Of all the dead psychological theories, the theory of catharsis is the most definitely dead.
--- p.146~147

To enjoy negative stories in fiction and reality, you need to keep a certain distance, not too close or too far.
You should only get so caught up in it that you worry, obsess, and fear it.
Especially in fiction, when things go wrong, we have to recognize that these characters aren't all real.
This way, empathy, anguish, and worry do not overwhelm the joy.
In this problem, the Goldilocks principle (a tendency to prefer not too much - translator's note) exists.
You could call it the sweet spot.
--- p.150

“Reality is defined by misfortune and suffering.” This phrase captures a theory that has endured through theology, philosophy, and countless college dorm room debates.
It also aligns with the core theme of this book.
A certain amount of unhappiness and suffering is essential to a rich and meaningful life.
--- p.214

I have many philosopher friends.
Some of them always ponder profound questions about meaning and purpose.
I like philosophers.
Still, they don't seem like better people than other people I know.
Also, I'm not sure what interesting significance there is in saying that their lives are more meaningful than everyone else's.
The overall point here is that you can achieve a meaningful life without even realizing that you're trying to achieve it, or conversely, without even thinking about it at all.
--- p.234

But somehow humans (and only humans) have done amazing things.
We can transcend limitations.
We have advanced science, technology, philosophy, literature, art, and law.
We created the Universal Declaration of Human Rights and went to the moon.
We use contraception to deliberately subvert the instinctive goal of reproductive success in order to pursue other goals.
Overcoming the physiological need to care for family and friends, they give some of their resources (not enough, but still some) to strangers.
--- p.295

The book concludes with a conversation between Mustapha Mond, who represents the system, and John, who resists the system.
Mond speaks passionately about the value of pleasure.
He goes on to say that neurological interventions have been developed to maximize human pleasure, and that it is all so easy and convenient.
And concludes, “We prefer a comfortable life.”
Then John responds:
“But I don’t want comfort.
I want God, poetry, true danger, freedom, goodness.
And I want sin.”
No words sum up human nature better than this.

--- p.317~318