Appearing out of the blue, causing us anxiety and worry
A clear explanation of unpleasant and obsessive thoughts

Sally M., a clinical psychologist who has been working on this issue in the field for over 40 years,
Winston and Martin N.
Safe draws on numerous real-life examples, cutting-edge neuroscience research, and proven cognitive behavioral therapy techniques to write this book.
This book concisely and clearly explains everything you need to know to overcome this problem, from the different types of intrusive thoughts, the root causes of their persistence, to a simple yet effective two-step solution for overcoming unwanted intrusive thoughts.
Explains why traditional anxiety management techniques, including meditation and prayer, can backfire, and how to train your brain to change your thinking habits.


To you who are troubled by strange, unwanted thoughts
The most practical problem-solving program recommended by countless doctors, psychologists, and readers!

Unwanted intrusive thoughts are a phenomenon that is often not well understood even by psychotherapists.
Even if you muster up the courage to confide in your family or friends, it is difficult to receive understanding and empathy.
"It's just a thought, forget it." "Why do you keep thinking about useless things? Stop talking nonsense." Once that thought comes into your head, it completely takes your mind off things and makes it difficult to concentrate on what you were doing.
Sometimes, I fall into depression and feel ashamed and cannot tell anyone.
Such intrusive thoughts can slowly eat away at your daily life and ruin your relationships and life.
This book gives people who are struggling with isolation within themselves the courage to take the first step toward change.


People who suffer from unwanted, intrusive thoughts often don't show it outwardly.
This is because they think they can get rid of the thought by trying to do it themselves, or they worry about being treated as a weirdo.
In fact, if you search for 'obsessive thoughts', 'compulsive thinking', or 'repeated thoughts' on the Internet, you can easily find posts by people struggling with this problem on 'Naver Knowledge iN' or mental health-related cafes.
According to one survey, approximately 6 million people in the United States alone suffer from this problem.
It is estimated that countless people worldwide suffer from this problem.
This book is considered a “must-read first” for those who are trapped in a mental prison.


Since its first publication in the United States in 2017, people who have struggled with intrusive, unwanted thoughts have continued to write enthusiastic testimonials, sharing their own experiences.
Hundreds of heartfelt reviews testify to the value of this book.


"In short, this book is a godsend! As I read it, I felt the authors knew me so well, anticipating my problems and questions before I could even utter them.
The book is concise and clear, and the authors maintain a warm and humorous attitude throughout.
It's easy to understand how thoughts arise in our minds and how meaningless, annoying thoughts or images can become tangled up in us.” (by BoyMomC)

“My younger sister suffered from intrusive thoughts of extremely dark content for a long time, which weakened her both physically and mentally.
I couldn't sleep at night, refused to eat, and sometimes even threw up.
I also experienced severe panic attacks.
Sometimes my brother literally looked like a zombie.
Sometimes I wouldn't even say a word to my family.
… … Surprisingly, my younger brother began to change quickly as he started reading this book.
“Just reading about the stories of people like him helped my brother feel that he was not alone and that there was a way to solve his problems.” (by customer)

Different types of strange thoughts that suddenly pop up

People who struggle with unwanted, intrusive thoughts often endure the pain and shame alone, unaware that so many others are struggling with the same problem.
"Why do I feel this way? Is there something wrong with my brain? Or am I just a bad person?" Yet, countless perfectly rational and good people struggle with this very issue.
This book demonstrates the various types of intrusive thoughts through real-life examples.
The authors emphasize that while intrusive thoughts are often shocking, immoral, and unpleasant in content, in reality no thought is harmful in itself.
Such thoughts are just a baffling but 'harmless' thought that comes to anyone out of the blue.


Thoughts about harming others or self-harm
I can't go out on the balcony.
Every time I go out onto the balcony, I think, 'Is there anything that can stop me from jumping?' or 'I could jump right now.'
Do I have suicidal thoughts without realizing it? (Page 55)

Forbidden sexual thoughts
I'm happily married, but for some reason I can't stop thinking about having sex with a guy I just spoke to while waiting for the bus.
He wasn't even an attractive person.
(Page 57)

Irrationality, delusions, and doubts
Sometimes when I'm driving, I get the feeling that I've hit someone for no reason and that they're lying there dying on the road.
I try to remember if I heard any sounds or felt any bumps, but I can't seem to be sure.
It takes all my strength to resist the urge to turn the car around and go back the way I came.
(Page 64)

Pointless and harmful worries
I worry about our children every day.
Whenever I drop my child off at the school bus stop, I worry that the bus might get into an accident.
When I hear a cough, I worry that it might be asthma or pneumonia.
Whenever I get vaccinated, I'm afraid that I'll get sick from the vaccine.
After school, I don't let them play sports because I'm worried they might get hurt.
I'm also worried that my children might get sick when taking dental X-rays.
(Page 77)

A strange sensation seeping into my body
When I lie down at night, I can hear my heart beating in my ears.
I can't relax at all.
I can't stop counting my heartbeats, listening to the sound, and worrying.
At some point, I started getting up and taking my blood pressure and pulse.
What the heck is wrong with me? (page 87)

Common misconceptions about thinking create problems.

We all have certain beliefs about 'thoughts' and what they tell us about ourselves.
Some of our beliefs about thought have proven to be true, while others have not.
Is it true that "thoughts are controllable"? Do thoughts truly reflect our unconscious? The authors debunk widespread misconceptions about "thoughts," pointing out that such misconceptions are the primary cause of random, random thoughts becoming entrenched in our minds.

Can I control my thoughts?
Much of our thinking, or according to some researchers, 'most' of our thinking, is not under conscious control.
…we have no control over our thoughts, nor are we responsible for them.
Thoughts just happen.
…you can temporarily shift your attention from unwanted thoughts to thoughts of your choice by intentionally thinking positive thoughts.
But the thoughts we want to get rid of tend to persist, and they usually return to capture our attention even more forcefully.
How many times have you tried to push a thought away only to have it pop back up again? (pp. 92, 93, 94)

Do my thoughts reveal my personality?
Personality is a reflection of the way you live your life.
It really has to do with what you choose to do and what you choose not to do.
Thoughts pass through the mind.
When thoughts just happen, they are not something we choose.
In matters where there is no choice, there is no room to discuss the issue of personality.
(Page 95)

The more you try to get rid of it, the more often and clearly the thoughts appear.

Almost everyone experiences strange thoughts that pop into their heads, but most people either quickly forget them or only find them mildly unpleasant.
So why do these thoughts stick so strongly to some people? The authors say it's because they worry about them, reject them, and try to push them away.
In other words, the energy you expend trying to avoid or get rid of a thought actually causes that thought to stick to your mind.
American psychologist Daniel Wegner called this phenomenon the "paradoxical workings of the mind."


The things you hate to think about the most are the ones that end up sticking around.
That's only natural.
That makes perfect sense.
Every time we meet with clients, we discover that those who suffer from violent thoughts are often people who value gentleness, abhor violence, and live peaceful, violence-free lives.
Those who find the thought of harming others painful are affectionate people.
So, we try to push away those thoughts, and because we try to push them away, those thoughts stick to us.
(Page 36)

An 'intrusive thought' is different from an 'impulse'.
People who suffer from unwanted thoughts are afraid that they will act on them.
You may feel like those thoughts are stimulating and urging you to do something out of control, embarrassing, or dangerous.
However, the authors say that being plagued by unwanted, intrusive thoughts is not due to a lack of control, but rather closer to "overcontrol."


Being bothered by unwanted, intrusive thoughts is not a case of undercontrol disorder, but rather an overcontrol disorder.
(Hypocontrol disorder is primarily known for its impulsivity.) Hypercontrol disorder is often accompanied by problems with doubt or uncertainty.
Trying to control what you can't control (in this case, your thoughts) and then wanting to be 100 percent certain that nothing bad will happen is a surefire formula for attracting unwanted, intrusive thoughts.
(Page 38)

How to Free Yourself from Terrible, Obsessive, and Annoying Thoughts

People who are plagued by strange thoughts often try to manage their anxiety and stress by exercising and meditating, seeking reassurance from friends and family that they are normal, and sometimes even praying to God to make the thoughts go away.
However, the authors point out that conventional methods of managing anxious thoughts may work temporarily, but they often lead to negative consequences, such as becoming more entangled with those thoughts.


So how can we overcome this problem? In this book, the authors introduce methods for training our mind, brain, and body to respond to intrusive thoughts in a completely different way than before (chapters 7-9).
You can free yourself from those thoughts by learning to feel less of the painful emotions that follow them when they occur (shame, fear, guilt, frustration, etc.) and by changing the way your brain works through practice.


Accept and allow
What does it mean to accept and allow a thought? Acceptance doesn't mean, "This thought and the misery it brings are here to stay, so I have no choice but to endure it."
Nor does it mean, “I must accept that the content of this thought suggests that I am a villain, crazy, or flawed person.”
Accepting and allowing does not mean wishing the thought away, but rather that you actively allow the thought to exist.
This attitude helps you understand that the thought is not important.
Because it means that it is a thought that does not require attention or reaction.
(Page 197)

Continue what you were doing
When an intrusive thought comes to you, continue doing whatever you were doing before the thought even though it is in your mind.
…the most effective way to take away the power of a thought is to continue doing what you were doing or were about to do before the thought occurred.
Think of unwanted intrusive thoughts as terrorists in your mind.
Just as terrorists achieve their goals by changing people's way of life, feeling like you have to stop what you're doing only reinforces their message.
(pages 204, 205)

“Think the worst, but make some changes.”
Because the thought may be frightening or repulsive to you, it's helpful to use a slightly different method when bringing the thought into your awareness.
…a young mother was deeply troubled by intrusive thoughts and images of her son being in a car accident.
He told me to keep singing the melody of the song 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Star' with the lyrics, "Johnny is lying dead by the roadside."
At first it was so hard to do, but surprisingly quickly it became tedious and boring, and I felt foolish for feeling anxious about that song.
By deliberately calling out the thoughts that are bothering you, you can overcome them.
(pages 245, 249)