The beginning of my story: Less arguments, more communication

Part 1.
Why Your Words Have No Power

Chapter 1: The More I Try to Win, the More I Lose
Chapter 2: Conversations Should Be Driven by Purpose, Not Me
Chapter 3: No one understands my heart.

Part 2: The Principles of Conversation: Protecting Myself Without Hurt

Principle 1.
Say it with Control
Chapter 4: The Moment Words Become Swords
Chapter 5: The Power of Pause: Giving You Control over Conversation
Chapter 6: You are the protagonist who controls the speed.

Principle 2.
Say it with Confidence
Chapter 7: Confidence is a Habit
Chapter 8: The Magical Sentence That Protects Me: "Say what you just said again."
Chapter 9: How to Say No Without Hurt

Principle 3.
Say it to Connect
Chapter 10: Framing Strategies to Rescue Sinking Conversations
Chapter 11: Humility is a Luxury for the Rude
Chapter 12: The more difficult it is, the more likely it is to be told in conclusion.

Conclusion.
Your words are you

The whole world is excited
The Magical Conversation That Protects Me Without Hurt

- New York Times, Amazon, Der Spiegel, and Barnes & Noble bestseller immediately after publication
- Highly recommended by Mel Robbins, author of Let Them Theory
- 2025 Barnes & Noble Self-Help Book of the Year
- 2025 Waterstones Paperback of the Year
- 2025 Amazon Editor's Pick of the Year
- Published in 40 languages ​​worldwide

We've all experienced a situation where we had a conversation only to find ourselves drifting further apart, or where misunderstandings deepen despite a thorough explanation.
Words are overflowing, but the important messages are blurred, and relationships often go awry.
The reality is that conversations are overflowing both online and offline, but the distance between people is not easily narrowed.
We often ask ourselves:

“Why is communication so difficult?”

《The Next Conversation》 is a book that stands right in the middle of this question.
Author Jefferson Fisher points out that “the moment emotions take over, words become muddled,” and suggests “pausing” as the simplest and most powerful action to reverse the flow.
The brief pause in that moment when emotions are stirred and the urge to retort arises can change the direction of the conversation and help you regain the lost initiative.
This 'pause' is a surprisingly practical technique that keeps the mind from wandering and gives you control over the situation.

In an age where self-promotion is considered a virtue, this message may sound like classic advice.
However, as soon as the book was published, it ranked first on the New York Times, Amazon, and Der Spiegel bestseller lists.
It has also been translated into 40 languages ​​and has been selected as a 'Book of the Year' by major bookstores such as Amazon, Barnes & Noble, and Waterstones, gaining worldwide popularity.
International readers who first read this book say they discovered a new paradigm that completely changed their attitude toward conversation.

When emotions run high, when things don't go your way, a single pause can change the flow.

Jefferson Fisher is an American lawyer and communications expert with 10 million followers. He has spent over 20 years observing people's anger, frustration, fear, and silence in the emotionally extreme environment of the courtroom.
In the process, he discovers a common pattern.
“People don’t lose track of what to say, but rather, they lose track of how to say it, because their emotions are soaring.”

Examples demonstrating this appear throughout the book.
The scene with witness Bobby LaFray, who was particularly verbally abusive, symbolically reveals the book's message.
In a threatening manner, aggressive tone, and an atmosphere that seemed ready to explode at any moment, Fisher chose to 'stop' rather than refute or defend himself.
And then he asked calmly.

“What was the most difficult thing you faced this year?”

At that moment, the atmosphere completely changed.
Raphrey began to open up about his mother in a nursing home, his unresolved issues, and the overwhelming pressures of life.
“His anger wasn’t an attack on me, but rather an outburst of unspoken weight,” the author writes.
If Fisher had immediately countered, the conversation would have escalated into a bigger conflict.
But the 'pause' changed the direction of the conversation and created space to read the situation.

《Pause》 focuses on a shift in attitude rather than on verbal skills.
An attitude that prioritizes understanding over persuasion and connection over argument completely changes the temperature of a conversation.
“I see you feel that way.” “I know this conversation is important right now.” These short phrases can break down someone’s defenses, lower the emotional temperature, and help you regain control of the conversation.
As the temperature of the words changes, the temperature of the relationship also changes.
However, this book does not tell you to be patient unconditionally.
He emphasizes that when faced with someone who is incommunicative or repeatedly rude, the conversational method that protects you is to stop firmly and draw a clear line.
Pausing is not giving up, it is a choice not to be consumed, and sometimes silence is the most powerful language.
This book presents three principles for slowing down emotions and realigning conversations.

Principle 1.
Say it with Control
The first step to 'pausing' is to slow down your breathing when emotions are running high and calm your mind before reacting.
Mastering this skill will help you stay centered in the conversation without getting caught up in the other person's emotional turmoil or inner anxieties.

Principle 2.
Say it with Confidence
Confidence is not innate, it is a habit.
Apologizing excessively or taking on more responsibility than necessary to try to please the other person will only exacerbate the conflict.
We need to practice focusing on our own standards rather than the standards of others through clear expression, boundary setting, and consistency between words and actions.

Principle 3.
Say it to Connect
The moment you win an argument, the relationship is broken.
The purpose of the conversation must be changed from 'competition' to 'finding common ground'.
Space opens up only when we stop trying to change the other person and look for balance in the relationship.
Of course, understanding and humility are luxuries even for someone who is repeatedly rude.
Sometimes, the courage to end a relationship is the choice that preserves the connection.
The book breaks down these three principles into concrete sentences and strategies that you can apply immediately in your daily life.

"Hold on a second, I'm feeling a little overwhelmed right now." "Could you repeat what you just said?" "It's your choice, but here's how I'll react." These short but powerful sentences have the immediate power to organize a chaotic moment and distance yourself from your emotions.

The book also presents vivid examples of "how to protect yourself without hurting others," including how to lower your opponent's defenses, how to use silence strategically, and how to simplify complex conflicts into a single, key question.
We also carefully analyze emotional patterns that change depending on relationships such as family, lovers, work, and friends.

《Pause》 has received rave reviews from experts in various fields.
Mel Robbins, author of "Let Them Theory," praised it as "full of practical advice for changing your conversations, one conversation at a time, and ultimately, your life." Stanford University School of Medicine neurobiologist Andrew Huberman emphasized it as "a conversational method that distills an evidence-based approach into actionable tools anyone can implement." FBI hostage negotiation expert Chris Voss also called it "a practical guide for anyone facing difficult conversations at work or at home."

The author says:
“Stop for a moment.
Then it looks different.
And the moment you speak differently, life moves in a new direction.” For readers who are experiencing emotional exhaustion, relationship fatigue, and hurt caused by words, “Pause” offers a standard for simplifying complex issues.
Learning how to 'stop' before speaking.
That is the solid starting point of an unshakable life.