My father is the head of the household
The common belief that one person is responsible for a family
A book that blows you away!

Park Young-sun, a 62-year-old mother, said.
“I haven’t accomplished anything in life,” thought Kim Eun-hwa, 31.
What on earth was the work of my mother, who woke up at 6 a.m. to prepare ten meals a day, from lunch boxes for her children to meals for her in-laws, worked for more than eight hours straight at the warehouse in front of her house, and was busy with laundry and grocery shopping on the weekends?
This is the background to my decision to interview and record my mother's life.


This book contains the process of reinterpreting the present by looking into the mother's past together.
The daughter has always viewed her mother as someone who must protect her from long hours of work and a violent father.
As I listened to the story carefully, I realized that Park Young-seon was a strong person in her own right.
From her days as a factory worker in the Masan Free Export Zone in 1972 until her retirement as a nursing assistant in 2013, Park Young-seon had a deep-rooted sense of pride as someone who had supported her family with her own hands for 40 years.
Here, I have been in charge of housework, childcare, and parent-in-law care.
But no one recognized its value.


“So I decided to get to know my mom first.
The beginning is to give it a proper title.
My mother worked for the family all this time.
However, titles such as head of a household or breadwinner were given with honor only to men.
I want to stand up against this and speak out boldly.
“I say that my mother fed me, no, saved me, that without her labor I would not be who I am today, that my mother was the breadwinner and true head of our family.” (p. 16)

My mother seemed like she was born to work.
I woke up at 4 a.m., studied for two hours, and at 6 a.m., I put rice in the pressure cooker.
It was a time when I prepared ten meals a day, from my grandfather's table to my brother's lunchbox.
My mother worked at a publishing company five minutes away from home.
I squatted down all day, unpacking, sorting, and carrying the returned books.
Because the job put a lot of strain on my back and knees, I often suffered from muscle pain every morning.
--- p.12

When I was eighteen, my parents divorced.
(...) I started to fight against the world that tried to insult my mother at every opportunity while defending myself.
It was both the venomous face of those with vested interests and the screams of those in power who ignored the law and beat people up as they pleased.
Underneath it all was the face of a violent father.
I wanted to become strong.
I wanted to free my mother from these rude people, long hours of work, and money worries.
--- p.13

Even after my divorce, when I was working irregular jobs for low wages, my mother always knew how to give her all and find meaning in the work she was given.
She had pride in herself as a hard worker who had earned her own living for 40 years.
I used to think of my mother as a weak person, but it turns out she was a flexible and strong person.
(...) I've been telling my mom to be proud of her life, but maybe it was I who was ignoring her all this time.
--- p.15

So I decided to get to know my mom first.
The beginning is to give it a proper title.
My mother worked for the family all this time.
However, titles like head of a household or breadwinner were only honorably bestowed upon men. I want to speak out against this and speak out boldly.
I said that my mother fed me, no, saved me.
I would not be who I am today without her work, she was the breadwinner and true head of our family.
--- p.16

When we were working at F1 in the Masan Free Export Zone, we protested and made a fuss because it was a Japanese company, so we could get paid more.
(…) If you made money in Korea, why don’t you spend some of it in Korea, improve employee treatment, or pay them more? Why does the Japanese take all that money?
We are patriots because we blocked it.
--- pp.35-36

I graduated from Masan Communication High School as the top student. Oh boy, top student! (…) When I graduated, it was the last year of the two-year program at Jinju National University of Education.
The second place kid went there.
I had the skills, but I never thought about going to college.
If I had gone to college then, my life would have been completely different. (…) My older brothers would have all been sent to the military at once, so I would have had to earn a living.
--- pp.47-49

I thought it would be difficult to do business, so I thought it wouldn't work out.
My dad quits his job and I don't want to live. I have to cook breakfast and go out. I have to do business. I have to do chores, laundry, and all that... Business is just making me suffer to the point where I'm dying.
--- p.103

I thought, "This won't work. Even though I may not be a good mother to raise my children, I should be their support."
I was prepared to die.
If I had to die, I would die. If I had to live, I would live. This is how I have lived without any plan.
--- p.161

I've thought about getting divorced twelve times and I've been right all twelve times.
People might criticize me for living like this.
--- p.165

Patriarchal society constantly pushes women to the margins.
(…) But women do not remain in the position of victims.
Even if it is pushed, it bounces back, and even if it conforms, it bounces back.
(…) On the path of life, each and every one of them is an active player and a protagonist of history.
I don't believe in the saying, 'Women are weak, but mothers are strong.'
Any woman who survives is strong.
Because we start from a place where we are pushed out from birth.
--- p.249

A mother loves her son terribly.
Even though I show my daughter the rotten and rotten vegetable drawer in the refrigerator, I only show my son the neatly organized living room.
He asks me for all kinds of little favors, but he has difficulty even making a phone call to his son.
What does a daughter mean to a mother?
--- p.293

I look forward to the day when my brother reads this book and cries out loud.

--- p.295