Part 1 Alley Map

mom
cowardice
Alley Map
Cinderella's fairy mother
I'm sick too
empty house
give up
All the hills of the world
constipation
Saalsal
Friday dinner table
discharge
drifting

Part 2: I Miss You

I miss you
fishy smell
Why I don't like trot
sexual orientation
age
Gourd
This is Noininnara Station
Your wife said
It's a bit shabby
A summer morning with a whistle
square
White hair wave

Snow falling on apartment 3

Seroquel
Don't revive the dead
The smell of urine
Haunted House
I'm standing in that alley holding my mother's hand.
Just one more day
cut with a knife
filial piety
You can get whatever you want
crescent moon during the day
Interview 1
bare back
Interview 2
Mom's bed
Snow falling on the apartment

Part 4 From Sinchon Station to Seoul Station

From Sinchon Station to Seoul Station
promise
A happy call
noise sensitive
Like pouring water into a pot
long bottle
Day 9
Crying with glasses on
Seven months and eleven days
Talking to yourself
A peaceful day
What grandmothers do
thigh
Spring, dawn, whistle

commentary
The Language of Care Survivors: Between Love and Mourning
- Kim Su-i (literary critic)

Behind the "Personal Trials": Breaking the Social Silence of Care

This collection of poems sharply captures the contemporary awareness that the pain of caregiving should no longer be dismissed as a "personal ordeal."
The cry, “Oh my gosh, what should I do? I’m scared/because a sane person can’t stand it” (“Seroquel”) vividly reveals the despair and fear in the nursing field.
The phrase “It feels like I’m paying the interest/once I’ve paid off the principal” (from “Filial Piety”) also reveals the shackles of care that are passed down in the names of “filial piety” and “caregiving.”
"Standing in the Alley Holding Mom's Hand" confronts the guilt and helplessness felt by those who shoulder the burden of caregiving, and suggests the possibility of healing and recovery within an attitude that acknowledges the finiteness of human beings.


Guilt and Human Limitations: Forgiveness and Comfort Beyond Grief

Yang Ae-kyung's poetry meticulously depicts the process of care that begins with love and devotion and leads to guilt.
The poet expresses extreme guilt and endures the time of accepting his mother's absence, writing, "I took my mother to the nursing home with my own hands/Slammed the door/And came back alone!" ("You can get anything you want").
After asking himself whether he can be happy “without a mother” (“Long Illness”), the poet reaches the language of forgiveness by making the resolution, “I will ask my mother in my heart/and I will live happily” (“Seven Months and Eleven Days”).
The phrase “Let’s go to Mom’s house/A million times heavier than ‘I love you’” (from “Visit 2”) shows both the weight of care and human limitations, and says that forgiveness that accepts sorrow is the beginning of comfort.


Recovery Beyond Pain: Rebuilding Life After Care

“Standing in the Alley Holding Mom’s Hand” contains the moment when someone who has overcome pain stands up again as themselves.
The poet finds himself “waiting for the day when I can shed my skin and become a butterfly/and fly away” (“It’s a bit shabby”), and he regains his will to live even in the midst of loss.
As can be seen in the poet's confession, "In the next life, please be born as my daughter/I will live my life doing for you all the things I could not do for you," the unpaid feelings are transformed into hope.
The phrase “I am a poet/a soul that knows that people are completely alone anyway” (from “Why Don’t I Like Trot”) is a declaration of standing again as a ‘poet’ beyond the identities of a caregiver and a daughter, and a sentence that recovers one’s own existence.
The poem “It’s a peaceful day/There are no patients/I’m not sick/I’m even happy” (“A Peaceful Day”), which appears in Part 4, shows the peace and freedom achieved after passing through a long tunnel of care.
The verses of "Standing in That Alley, Holding Mother's Hand" will leave a quiet but strong comfort to all who have experienced care and loss.

Poet's words

I lived under my mother's care
We lived together as good friends, relying on each other
I lived while taking care of my mother who became like a baby…
Now I left my mother on the mountain where my father is
In your next life, be born as my daughter.
I will live by doing all the things I couldn't do for you.

Yang Ae-kyung, Fall 2025