The root of all problems between parents and children is attachment.

Attachment is an important concept in parenting that all parents must know.
Director Lee Bo-yeon, a child education expert, covers methods for forming stable attachments based on theories and counseling materials she has researched over the years, and even includes know-how for improving children's problem behaviors through attachment.

Children who have formed positive attachments do not feel fear when placed in new environments, but rather explore the objects and people around them and attempt to interact in a healthy way.
On the other hand, for children who have formed insecure attachment relationships, the world is a scary and fearful place, so they try not to leave their parents or create their own world.
Additionally, attachments formed between the ages of 0 and 5 play a key role in forming a child's 'internal working model'.
Our internal working model is our perspective on ourselves, others, and the world. Even when we experience the same thing, we perceive it differently depending on our internal working model.

For example, when a pedestrian runs over them, a person with a positive internal working model will dismiss it as someone else's mistake, while a person with a negative internal working model will ignore them and interpret it as an intentional act.
In other words, the attachment between parents and children formed between the ages of 0 and 5 determines everything from the child's interpersonal relationships to their attitude toward life.

Likewise, all animals, including humans, have innate behaviors that they must perform for survival even if they are not taught to do so.
This behavior is called 'instinct'.
There are physical instincts that are absolutely necessary for living as living beings who eat, drink, and breathe, and there are also unique instincts that appear according to the characteristics of the species.
Herbivores like zebras and antelopes, who must live in a safari where the law of the jungle is the rule, must run to survive as soon as they are born, so they try to stand up on their own. Sea turtles also have the instinct to run for their lives toward the sea as soon as they hatch from their eggs.
Human babies are no exception. In addition to eating and drinking, they are born with other important instincts necessary for survival, and one of them is 'attachment'.

---p.18

The internal working model is composed of three levels: first, the internal working model directed at myself ("What kind of person am I?"); second, the internal working model directed at others ("What kind of person is the other person?"); and third, the internal working model directed at the world ("What is the world like?").
These internal operating models begin to form after birth and change or are re-created throughout life.
However, the first internal working model formed becomes the basis for the internal working models formed later, so the internal working model formed in childhood has the greatest influence throughout life.
In particular, the internal operating model formed by a child from birth until the age of three or at the latest five, when attachment to parents is most important, has a decisive influence on the formation of the child's personality and interpersonal relationships.

---p.102

Parental insensitivity leads to inconsistent parenting.
If you don't know what the problem is, your approach to solving it will easily change depending on your mood or surroundings.
Sensitive parents sometimes guide their children's growth and development by providing guidance on what they "should" do rather than what they want, helping them understand the rules and encouraging and practicing their children to explore and manipulate on their own.
This allows the child to perceive the world as a predictable and safe place.
However, if there are no consistent parenting rules and the solution changes depending on the parent's mood or the child's tantrum, the child will not only feel unsafe in the relationship with the parent, but will also feel fearful of the world.

---pp.145-146

Events that occur before the ages of three to five, in particular, have a strong influence on the formation and change of internal working models.
At the same time, this period is still in the early stages of forming an internal operating model, so there is still a lot of room for change.
However, after the age of five, when the internal working model is complete, children do not change easily unless they have repeated powerful experiences.
In other words, if the internal working model is formed positively, it means that even if there is some stress after the age of five, it can be endured well, but if the internal working model is formed negatively, it is not easily changed no matter how hard you try.

---p.153

Another aspect of parenting sensitivity is the ability to know when to intervene and when to leave things alone.
Even for the same behavior, intervention may vary depending on the child's level of development.
It's okay to just watch toddlers trying to put on their shoes on their own with a very serious look on their face.
Since this child is currently in the process of acquiring autonomy, the mother's role is sufficient simply by providing a few encouraging words from the child's side.
However, it is a mistake to be insensitive and scold a child who is sleepy, tired, and irritable for not putting on his or her shoes.
A sensitive mother can clearly distinguish between what her child can and cannot do, and what must and must not do, depending on his developmental level.

---p.168

But this is where all the problems begin.
The biggest reason parents and children form insecure attachments is that they repeatedly use problematic communication styles in their daily lives without even realizing it.
If your child is exhibiting behavioral problems, it is important to first examine what your child is saying and doing without even realizing it.
There are some common types of communication methods that parents use that cause anxiety in their children.

---p.296