“No one else lives for me!”
A psychological prescription for those who struggle to live alone while trying to please others!

People who want to get along with everyone vs.
‘A person who only takes care of the people he likes’, ‘A person who values ​​common sense and following rules vs.
‘A person whose standards are important to me’, ‘A person who is nervous and looks at the opinions of others vs.
A person who is relaxed and does not fluctuate emotionally despite changes in their surroundings.
What kind of person are you? If even one of the above applies to you, you need this prescription.
The author of this book, Tomoya Fujino, is a psychiatrist who strongly advocates for "living by thinking of yourself first," and is the most beloved psychiatrist in Japan with 100,000 followers for his warm messages that resonate with everyone who reads them.
The reason his words resonate with people so much is because he himself is a special person who is both a doctor and a patient.
The author suffered from a rare disease at the age of three, which forced him to take medication for the rest of his life and left him with an uncertain lifespan. This led to a period of self-loathing, self-criticism, feelings of inferiority and defeat.
But soon, I changed my mind and started living a life for myself, thinking, 'I don't want to waste my limited time on other people.'
The author captured people's hearts by uploading a post on social media in which he revealed all of his past.
This book teaches people who are going through similar times as the author in the past how to take care of their own lives, such as 'how to not compare myself to others' and 'how to cherish my time'.


If you've been living your life for others, not for yourself, learn the habits of caring for yourself through this book.
From the book's "habit of always taking care of myself first," to the "habit of being free from others," the "habit of creating relationships that uphold goodness," the "habit of creating a positive mood," and the "habit of creating a self-directed attitude," the sequential practices will help you completely change the passive thinking that has made you unconsciously conform to other people's standards.
After turning the last page, I will no longer be hurt by my feelings of 'I have to do it for others'.

If you want to live as yourself, you may be afraid of revealing all of yourself, and you may feel lost as to what to do.
That could very well be the case.
So, in this book, I will suggest how to live as 'a little' of myself, how to live as 'myself' as I am 'now'.
If you've ever thought you need to change yourself, if you've ever thought things can't go on like this, try calming down your emotions for a while.
Try lying down comfortably on the sofa or bed.
Take your time and relax your whole body.
Then consider whether it would be okay to show 'a little' of yourself as you are.
As we live, there will continue to be situations where we cannot live as ourselves.
Sometimes you have to adapt to your surroundings, follow the rules of your company or society, and live with common sense and universality.
However, I hope that you will accept the weak me, the flawed me, the incompetent me, the depressed me, as I am, saying, “This is me too,” and cherish the time you spend living as “yourself.”
--- From "Starting"

Because of the social culture that views 'running away' negatively, everyone has developed the 'habit of not running away'.
But when you're cornered, it's better to run away than to try harder.

For example, among the patients and their families who come to see a psychiatrist like me, there are many who say, "I can't even imagine changing jobs," even though they are suffering and having a hard time every day at their current company.
However, I do recommend changing jobs and keep it in mind as an option, and I have actually seen people whose symptoms improved after changing jobs.

Even in work, there are ‘jobs that suit your aptitude and jobs that don’t’, ‘jobs that suit you and jobs that don’t suit you’.
Even among companies, there are ‘bad companies’ that force excessive labor.
However, when advised to "change jobs if things are difficult," many people feel guilty and think, "Running away is a bad thing."

If you can run away to protect me, then it's okay to run away.
Please praise me for that.
To keep living, to not run away from my life, I'm running away now.
--- From Chapter 1, “It’s also hard when you have no appetite”

Among adults, there are those who have a strong tendency to try to manipulate others by venting their frustrations or anger.
Such people use that attitude as a weapon in their relationships.
Of course, he may not have had the intention of 'getting angry and manipulating the other person as he pleased.'

However, you may have had successful experiences where you got angry and moved the other person.
Through my experiences up to that point, I learned that 'anger' is the fastest and most effective way to move others, so I am applying it in my interpersonal relationships as well.
He's a very uncomfortable person to live with.
It's better to keep your distance from such people.
If you have a friend or someone around you like this, immediately distance yourself from them and, if possible, avoid getting involved with them.

Because venting your strong emotions on others is also a significant act of violence.
--- From Chapter 3, “No One Else Lives for Me”

There is a saying, “God only gives you trials you can overcome.”

Don't take it to heart.
This is what people who are lucky enough to overcome it say.
If you blindly believe and follow such words, you will easily break.
Everyone has different limitations, so you need to decide how important something is to you and invest your time accordingly to win the game.
You have to apply strength where it is needed, take it out where it is needed, and do it cleverly.

When you say "smart person," do you immediately think of someone as being sly, shameless, someone who takes advantage of the powerful, or someone who is mean?
Some people might think, 'I'm more sincere and work harder than that person, but that person seems happy and it's annoying!'
I think a resourceful person is someone who knows what they need and what they don't need, has the courage to let go of things they don't need, knows their limitations, isn't swayed by words like "must do" and "must have to," isn't okay with not doing things perfectly, and doesn't sacrifice themselves by saying, "I just have to endure."

--- From Chapter 5, "You Must Always Decide from Your Own Perspective"