“Mixed colors.
truth.
New choices and solitude.
“The size of such a tender and sorrowful heart.” ─ Kang Hwa-gil (novelist)

Recommended by novelists Kang Hwa-gil and Lee Mi-ye
A full-length novel aimed at adult readers, completed after 13 years of development.

“There are times when the lukewarm warmth that remains in each seat is enough.
“That’s what the main character did, and that’s what I felt throughout the book.” ─ Im Yi-ye (novelist)

Lee Hee-young's new novels: "Paint," "Tester," and "Shaker."

Since winning the Changbi Youth Literature Award in 2018 for "Paint," author Lee Hee-young has garnered the support of hundreds of thousands of readers for her meticulously capturing the wounds and desires of the human spirit, her imaginative and emotional depth, and her compelling narrative that drives them to the very end.
He has steadily expanded his readership by displaying different genre sensibilities and critical awareness in each of his published works, including 『Ordinary Sunset』 『Nana』 『Challenge Blue』 『Tester』 『Salt Eye』 『Do You Like Summer Tangerines』 『Face』 『Shaker』 『Bear』, and has now established himself as a writer who encompasses both youth and adult readers.
He published his full-length novel, "The Size Inside," aimed at adult readers, through Hubble 13 years after his debut.

In "The Size Inside," Lee Hee-young confronts the questions raised in her previous work from a deeper perspective, building on the sensibilities and explorations she accumulated while writing youth novels.
If "Paint" asks about care and responsibility within the institution of family, "The Tester" ponders violence and sacrifice in the age of high technology, and "Shaker" deals with choices and responsibilities in time travel, "The Size Within" delves into how loss and deficiency inherent from birth shape a person's inner self and relationships, and what kind of sense and form of love living with that loss creates.
In other words, while previous works have illuminated the turmoil in the roles and relationships demanded by the world through the eyes of adolescents in the midst of change, 『The Size Inside』 expresses the anxiety and desires deep within through the eyes of an adult who has already accepted that role and shouldered the responsibility.

The story of "The Size Inside" begins with Seol-woo, who, upon turning thirty-one, experiences a divorce from her lover who promised to marry her and a recommendation to resign, moving to the unfamiliar neighborhood of Heukho-dong.
Seol-woo, who has started teaching children at an English academy for the first time in his life, begins to form new relationships with the academy director, the children, and the owner of the bookstore downstairs.
The one who encouraged Seol-woo to make this new daily life possible was the unrealistic being 'Jo' who had been with Seol-woo his entire life.
Joe is the 'vanishing twin' who disappeared from Seol-woo's body when he was still a fetus, and now appears only to Seol-woo with a blue appearance and voice.
Seol-woo has always pushed away challenges and desires because of his sense of indebtedness to Jo, but as Jo encourages him to live a new life and he continues to meet the people of Heukho-dong, his feelings begin to change little by little.

Novelist Kang Hwa-gil said, “Mixed colors.
truth.
New choices and solitude.
As expressed in the phrase, “The size of such a tender and sad heart,” “The Size Inside” delicately captures moments where tenderness and sadness intersect.
As he spends time with the people of Heukho-dong, the temperature of relationships and emotional changes that permeate Seol-woo's life truthfully reveal the gradual opening of a tightly closed heart, and the process of long-suppressed desires resurrecting with subtle tremors in that open space is calmly illuminated.
Also, as novelist Im Yi-ye expressed, “There are times when the lukewarm warmth that remains in each seat is enough,” 『The Size Inside』 charmingly captures the warmth of people who live by giving space to each other instead of seeking complete salvation.
Seol-woo leans on that warmth, confronts his own inner deficiencies, and learns to desire while harboring an anxious heart.
In this way, this work depicts the most human warmth of those who endure loss and the heart of a human who wants to desire again, with affectionate and strong sentences.

Everyone has days like that.
A day in life that stands out like an actor on stage, like a subject in a viewfinder… .
The strange thing is that the moment isn't particularly meaningful or memorable.
It's not as surprising as seeing a shooting star, but it's a refreshing surprise that the moon is especially bright today. Or rather, it's a day of mediocrity, like the trees, trees, and trees passing by outside the car window.
There was one day for me that was ordinary but never erased.
--- From "Part 1 - Snow"

When I was young, my whole family went on a summer vacation to the beach.
The turquoise sea and golden sandy beach, which meet the sky beyond the horizon, open their beautiful arms wide to welcome people.
As a child, I ran around and played to my heart's content in his arms.
After playing in the water, we diligently built sand castles with plastic shovels.
The area around the castle was decorated with shells that had been diligently collected.
I spent the whole day building the sand castle and its surroundings, proudly writing my family name in large letters with a stick someone had left behind, and getting covered in sand all over my body. Even when I shook my body, grains of sand would still come out.
And the next day, when I returned to the beach, my beautiful castle was nowhere to be found.
Because everything was carried away by the waves and disappeared without a trace.
--- From "Part 1 - Snow"

He looked at me with the eyes of a track and field athlete who has fallen before the final.
The reason S felt unfamiliar was probably because of that gaze.
He is the type of person who has to see everything through to an end, but at the end of it all, there is someone else other than me.
I avoided his gaze and looked down at the table, smiling bitterly. "You're just as simple as I am."
--- From "Part 1 - Snow"

A child disappeared.
It was said that after the heart stopped, it was absorbed into the body and lost.
The words that had not penetrated my ears floated in the air like an alien language I had never heard before.
The doctor tried to remain calm, adding that it was natural.
How could it be natural for a child's heart to stop and disappear? Despite the doctor's repeated explanations, I couldn't understand a thing. "Can you hear the heartbeat?" Only then did the harsh, mechanical sound penetrate my ears.
The sound shook my dazed mind. “There’s a baby here.
“There is still a baby here.” The doctor emphasized the words ‘here’ and ‘baby.’
A child inside me disappeared and a child inside me remained.
I don't know if I should say I survived or endured, but if that's true, does that mean the child who disappeared couldn't endure it inside me? Why? For what reason? But I felt nothing.
I never had any mild abdominal pain or blood in my stool.
I began to doubt whether there really were two babies inside me, or whether there had been some kind of mistake or confusion with another mother. "Don't think about anything else, just remember this heartbeat."
--- From "Part 1 - Snow"

“When I was young.
I imagined that perhaps I had made a strong assertion that I would definitely go out into the world.
“Every time I thought about it, I felt incredibly selfish.”
I took a deep breath, my chest rising and falling, and then exhaled slowly. “But as time went on, my thoughts changed.
Maybe you should have argued more strongly.
I'm not going out.
“I will never be born into this fucking world.” I giggled loudly, as if I were drunk to anyone who saw me.
I thought I had gotten over the alcohol a bit as I walked home, but the effects of the alcohol started to creep up on me later.
Do you really think so? Or is it just for your own comfort?
At Joe's question, I stopped laughing and stared blankly at the ceiling. "I can't be at peace.
“Now that I’m actually born, I realize that living in this world is far from comfort, ease, and happiness.”
--- From "Part 1 - Snow"

Do you know when that smart guy you always talk about is most dangerous?
I stopped walking and looked down at the bag on my shoulder.
My own little light sparkling like spring cherry blossoms, autumn leaves, and winter snowflakes was here.

It was at that moment when I had various experiences and thought I knew a little about life.

With those words, my group floated lightly and soaked into the sunlight.
I stood there blankly, staring into the empty space where the light had disappeared.

No, every day of a human life is always precarious and dangerous.
--- From "Part 2 - Rain"

“Are you so afraid of being miserable?” I finally couldn’t stand how selfish and foolish I was, so I burst out. “Everyone lives like that.
I'm so happy that I feel anxious, and I'm struggling because of my greed.
No one believes that momentary happiness will last forever, and sometimes it is destroyed by ever-growing desires.
The villa I live in now.
The previous owner did that.
He was consumed by greed and eventually lost everything and self-destructed.
And for the past few days, I, too.” “….” “It’s been so hard and miserable.”
The silhouette of the bookstore clearly appeared in my pupils, which had become accustomed to the darkness.
The countless books here each spread their own fragrance, and the stories floated like fine dust.
Happiness, despair, joy, frustration, triumph, destruction, and even love.
The books were neither endlessly happy nor endlessly unhappy.
That's why it's a book, that's why it's a story, that's why it can sing about all things and all people in the world.
“So you too should be anxious about happiness.
“Because of your greed, you will have a hard time.”

--- From "Part 3 - And the Bookstore Owner"