Can I love well?
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Description
Book Introduction
"You Can Try Love" - A Realistic Sex Education Lecture on Thinking and Talking
Why do sexual violence and crimes persist, from youth to the elderly? Why don't sex education in schools solve the problem? Could it be because we haven't received proper sex education that eliminates discrimination and hatred? There are sex education classes designed for adults who struggle with sex and love: those who missed opportunities for sex education in school, those who regret not receiving adequate sex education, those who struggle with love, relationships, and sex even as they age, and those who often feel empty and anxious even while studying and teaching about sex.
This is ‘Timely Sex Education in My Life’, which started in 2020 at ‘Academy Neutinamu’, an affiliate of People’s Solidarity for Participatory Democracy.
The person who has been teaching this popular lecture, which attracts a lot of applicants every time, for the past six years is Han Chae-yoon, a sexual minority rights activist and sex education expert.
Han Chae-yoon published “Can I Love Well” with the sex education know-how she has accumulated over the years.
Consisting of five lectures, "Can I Love Well?" gives the feeling of listening to a lecture right in front of you.
Thanks to 34 intuitive illustrations, you can easily grasp the key points.
After answering preliminary questions to check your knowledge and misconceptions about sex, by drawing your body and thinking about the answers, you will soon become someone who can talk about the meaning of 'sex' in your 'life'.
Sexual orientation, gender, lifestyle, and age don't matter.
Do you want to be in love? Are you afraid and curious about sex and love? Do you want to enjoy healthy and happy sex? Now is the time to get sex education, and now is the time to read this book.
Why do sexual violence and crimes persist, from youth to the elderly? Why don't sex education in schools solve the problem? Could it be because we haven't received proper sex education that eliminates discrimination and hatred? There are sex education classes designed for adults who struggle with sex and love: those who missed opportunities for sex education in school, those who regret not receiving adequate sex education, those who struggle with love, relationships, and sex even as they age, and those who often feel empty and anxious even while studying and teaching about sex.
This is ‘Timely Sex Education in My Life’, which started in 2020 at ‘Academy Neutinamu’, an affiliate of People’s Solidarity for Participatory Democracy.
The person who has been teaching this popular lecture, which attracts a lot of applicants every time, for the past six years is Han Chae-yoon, a sexual minority rights activist and sex education expert.
Han Chae-yoon published “Can I Love Well” with the sex education know-how she has accumulated over the years.
Consisting of five lectures, "Can I Love Well?" gives the feeling of listening to a lecture right in front of you.
Thanks to 34 intuitive illustrations, you can easily grasp the key points.
After answering preliminary questions to check your knowledge and misconceptions about sex, by drawing your body and thinking about the answers, you will soon become someone who can talk about the meaning of 'sex' in your 'life'.
Sexual orientation, gender, lifestyle, and age don't matter.
Do you want to be in love? Are you afraid and curious about sex and love? Do you want to enjoy healthy and happy sex? Now is the time to get sex education, and now is the time to read this book.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
The lie that becoming an adult will happen on its own
Chapter 1: Building a Solid Foundation - I Didn't Know This Much?
Chapter 2 Stopping the Wandering Between Sexual Desire and Procreation - Is There Something Better Than Orgasm?
Chapter 3 Relieving Sexual Fantasies and Burdens - What Does It Mean to Be Good at Sex?
Chapter 4: Enjoying Sex Freely and Healthy - Is it true that you can enjoy sex for a lifetime?
Chapter 5: Dealing with Anxiety and Dissatisfaction - Can I Love Well?
Sex education arrived at the right time in my life.
Chapter 1: Building a Solid Foundation - I Didn't Know This Much?
Chapter 2 Stopping the Wandering Between Sexual Desire and Procreation - Is There Something Better Than Orgasm?
Chapter 3 Relieving Sexual Fantasies and Burdens - What Does It Mean to Be Good at Sex?
Chapter 4: Enjoying Sex Freely and Healthy - Is it true that you can enjoy sex for a lifetime?
Chapter 5: Dealing with Anxiety and Dissatisfaction - Can I Love Well?
Sex education arrived at the right time in my life.
Into the book
I don't think only teenagers should receive sex education.
Accurate and comprehensive knowledge and information about sex are necessary throughout life.
However, after graduating from high school, opportunities to receive sex education are less common than you might think.
This book was created for this very reason.
--- p.11~12
When learning about the female reproductive system, the focus is often on the uterus, ovaries, and vagina, and the clitoris, vestibular orifice, and labia minora are often omitted.
As a result, women's sexuality is emphasized as maternal love and is centered around pregnancy and childbirth.
If the clitoris is not addressed, a woman's sexual pleasure is omitted.
This method is the same as when you don't describe the penis.
--- p.44
If we lump together the state we should pursue in relation to sex into one word, orgasm, our lives become narrow.
We need a word that can convey a broader meaning.
While orgasm has a strong connotation of being a goal to be achieved, sexual satisfaction refers to a state of not feeling a lack of sexual stimulation.
--- p.95
The reason I emphasize that BDSMS should not be considered perverted or abnormal is because it can help develop a clear sense of distinction between violence and consent.
Thanks to a device called a safe word, you quit immediately when the other person sincerely tells you to quit.
Violence that ignores what the other person is saying happens more in 'ordinary sex' than in BDSMS.
--- p.161
When explaining menstruation in sex education classes, I was always concerned when they used the expression "if the fertilized egg fails to implant."
Because I don't want to describe the female body as an experience of failure.
I guess I'm not the only one who has had these concerns.
I was delighted to read an article by anthropologist Emily Martin suggesting that we call it menstrual blood production rather than implantation failure.
From this perspective, menopause is when our body stops producing menstrual blood.
--- p.177
Keep someone by your side who tells you you're pretty while caressing your deep wrinkles, someone who tells you you're pretty because you eat well, someone who tells you you're pretty because you smile in the sunlight, and someone who tells you you're pretty no matter what you do.
Whether it's a lover, a friend, or a neighbor.
Thinking about what kind of people you want to grow old with is part of preparing for old age.
--- p.192
For a long time, this world has been heterosexual as the default.
Before the concept of asexuality emerged, if you said you weren't interested in relationships or sex, people would ask if you wanted to become a monk or nun.
Because it was a time when everyone believed they had to get married, have sex, and have babies.
When you're a teenager, they tell you not to be interested in sex, but when you become an adult, they suddenly nag you and ask why you don't date.
In a society like this, it's difficult to live indifferently to love and sex.
Asking whether you are asexual is the first step toward breaking out of the heteronormative mold and entering the wider world.
--- p.208~209
The idea that loving sex is okay and loveless sex is bad is actually more dangerous.
Because of this, if a sexual assaulter or sex buyer says they love the victim, they are often understood and forgiven.
Because I think at least it's better than no love.
--- p.231
Sex in the present moment is a midway point between embracing the past and moving toward an unfamiliar future, in that it involves meeting someone who exists now, having passed through the past.
So, wouldn't the effort to deal with sex while keeping in mind the long-term context of life also be an important 'sexual ability'?
Accurate and comprehensive knowledge and information about sex are necessary throughout life.
However, after graduating from high school, opportunities to receive sex education are less common than you might think.
This book was created for this very reason.
--- p.11~12
When learning about the female reproductive system, the focus is often on the uterus, ovaries, and vagina, and the clitoris, vestibular orifice, and labia minora are often omitted.
As a result, women's sexuality is emphasized as maternal love and is centered around pregnancy and childbirth.
If the clitoris is not addressed, a woman's sexual pleasure is omitted.
This method is the same as when you don't describe the penis.
--- p.44
If we lump together the state we should pursue in relation to sex into one word, orgasm, our lives become narrow.
We need a word that can convey a broader meaning.
While orgasm has a strong connotation of being a goal to be achieved, sexual satisfaction refers to a state of not feeling a lack of sexual stimulation.
--- p.95
The reason I emphasize that BDSMS should not be considered perverted or abnormal is because it can help develop a clear sense of distinction between violence and consent.
Thanks to a device called a safe word, you quit immediately when the other person sincerely tells you to quit.
Violence that ignores what the other person is saying happens more in 'ordinary sex' than in BDSMS.
--- p.161
When explaining menstruation in sex education classes, I was always concerned when they used the expression "if the fertilized egg fails to implant."
Because I don't want to describe the female body as an experience of failure.
I guess I'm not the only one who has had these concerns.
I was delighted to read an article by anthropologist Emily Martin suggesting that we call it menstrual blood production rather than implantation failure.
From this perspective, menopause is when our body stops producing menstrual blood.
--- p.177
Keep someone by your side who tells you you're pretty while caressing your deep wrinkles, someone who tells you you're pretty because you eat well, someone who tells you you're pretty because you smile in the sunlight, and someone who tells you you're pretty no matter what you do.
Whether it's a lover, a friend, or a neighbor.
Thinking about what kind of people you want to grow old with is part of preparing for old age.
--- p.192
For a long time, this world has been heterosexual as the default.
Before the concept of asexuality emerged, if you said you weren't interested in relationships or sex, people would ask if you wanted to become a monk or nun.
Because it was a time when everyone believed they had to get married, have sex, and have babies.
When you're a teenager, they tell you not to be interested in sex, but when you become an adult, they suddenly nag you and ask why you don't date.
In a society like this, it's difficult to live indifferently to love and sex.
Asking whether you are asexual is the first step toward breaking out of the heteronormative mold and entering the wider world.
--- p.208~209
The idea that loving sex is okay and loveless sex is bad is actually more dangerous.
Because of this, if a sexual assaulter or sex buyer says they love the victim, they are often understood and forgiven.
Because I think at least it's better than no love.
--- p.231
Sex in the present moment is a midway point between embracing the past and moving toward an unfamiliar future, in that it involves meeting someone who exists now, having passed through the past.
So, wouldn't the effort to deal with sex while keeping in mind the long-term context of life also be an important 'sexual ability'?
--- p.247
Publisher's Review
Structure, Principles, and Perspectives - Timely Sex Education to Develop Proper Sexual Ability
Why is sex education necessary for adults? There's no reason why sex education should be limited to teenagers, and sexual knowledge doesn't naturally increase with age.
Accurate and comprehensive knowledge and information about sex are necessary throughout life, so you must study to develop proper sexual abilities.
However, sex education is often youth-centered, and when it is aimed at young adults, it focuses on relationships.
After graduating from high school, there are not many opportunities to receive sex education.
Sex education for adults must consider not only physical changes that occur with age, but also different situations such as whether or not they are married, in a relationship, have had sexual experience, have had pregnancy and parenting experiences, and explore their sexual orientation and identity.
We need timely and appropriate sex education for young people who are fooled by the lie that sex will happen naturally when they become adults, middle-aged people who believe that they have to do it often to get good at it, and older people who feel like they have missed their chance.
Sex education is a process that helps broaden your perspective on life and establish your own perspective.
It should provide realistic information and knowledge and help you understand principles that can be applied in real life.
This book, which aims to provide timely sex education that cultivates proper sexual abilities rather than 'stamina' or 'skills', is based on the 'three stages of sex education': 'understanding the structure, grasping the principles, and establishing a perspective.'
By drawing my own body with my own hands and building a solid foundation, I can correct misunderstandings about sex (Lesson 1), sort out my wandering mind between sexual desire and reproduction (Lesson 2), relieve my fantasies and burdens about sex (Lesson 3), think about how to enjoy sex freely and healthily (Lesson 4), and learn how to deal with anxiety and dissatisfaction (Lesson 5), and the possibility of 'me' becoming a person who can love well increases.
If you thoroughly understand the structure of your body, grasp the principles related to sex, and establish a clear perspective, you will not only have the right sexual ability, but also the freedom to apply and challenge yourself.
At the end of each chapter, we've included questions and answers that everyone might be curious about, enriching the content and adding to the lecture-like quality.
"Sex Education for Kids" - A Self-Guide to Becoming a "Respected Self" No Matter Who You Are
"Can I Love Well?" applies the core principles of timely sex education to relationships and sexual relations between heterosexuals as well as same-sex couples, and opens up various possibilities for those who identify as or are exploring asexuality, rather than focusing on heterosexuality.
We use the terms "female/male genitalia" to accommodate transgender and non-binary readers and to avoid the bias that gender is determined based on genitalia or chromosomes.
It is written so that it can be applied as needed according to the physical condition, regardless of gender identity, and it also reflects the concerns of non-youth, educators, and caregivers about the sexuality of children and adolescents.
Thanks to this, this lecture is evaluated as ‘good sex education to watch with children.’
In the field of sex education, ‘sexual subjectivity’ is a hot topic.
A sexual subject is ‘a being with the power to make decisions about sex’ and ‘a state of having the power to make choices for oneself.’
To make good choices and decisions, you need not only a strong mind, but also sufficient information and knowledge, and a strong heart for both yourself and others.
Decisions gain meaning when they are respected by others and those around them.
Therefore, in order to become a sexual subject, I must strive to live beyond being a 'strong me' and become a 'respected me', regardless of who I am.
I need to be aware of how much respect I receive in this relationship and continue to ask myself what I want from this love.
Life is a long journey.
This sex education ground course is also a journey to discover who I am.
When this brief journey together ends, we will be travelers with new maps and new plans, ready to embark on our own journey to find good love.
Why is sex education necessary for adults? There's no reason why sex education should be limited to teenagers, and sexual knowledge doesn't naturally increase with age.
Accurate and comprehensive knowledge and information about sex are necessary throughout life, so you must study to develop proper sexual abilities.
However, sex education is often youth-centered, and when it is aimed at young adults, it focuses on relationships.
After graduating from high school, there are not many opportunities to receive sex education.
Sex education for adults must consider not only physical changes that occur with age, but also different situations such as whether or not they are married, in a relationship, have had sexual experience, have had pregnancy and parenting experiences, and explore their sexual orientation and identity.
We need timely and appropriate sex education for young people who are fooled by the lie that sex will happen naturally when they become adults, middle-aged people who believe that they have to do it often to get good at it, and older people who feel like they have missed their chance.
Sex education is a process that helps broaden your perspective on life and establish your own perspective.
It should provide realistic information and knowledge and help you understand principles that can be applied in real life.
This book, which aims to provide timely sex education that cultivates proper sexual abilities rather than 'stamina' or 'skills', is based on the 'three stages of sex education': 'understanding the structure, grasping the principles, and establishing a perspective.'
By drawing my own body with my own hands and building a solid foundation, I can correct misunderstandings about sex (Lesson 1), sort out my wandering mind between sexual desire and reproduction (Lesson 2), relieve my fantasies and burdens about sex (Lesson 3), think about how to enjoy sex freely and healthily (Lesson 4), and learn how to deal with anxiety and dissatisfaction (Lesson 5), and the possibility of 'me' becoming a person who can love well increases.
If you thoroughly understand the structure of your body, grasp the principles related to sex, and establish a clear perspective, you will not only have the right sexual ability, but also the freedom to apply and challenge yourself.
At the end of each chapter, we've included questions and answers that everyone might be curious about, enriching the content and adding to the lecture-like quality.
"Sex Education for Kids" - A Self-Guide to Becoming a "Respected Self" No Matter Who You Are
"Can I Love Well?" applies the core principles of timely sex education to relationships and sexual relations between heterosexuals as well as same-sex couples, and opens up various possibilities for those who identify as or are exploring asexuality, rather than focusing on heterosexuality.
We use the terms "female/male genitalia" to accommodate transgender and non-binary readers and to avoid the bias that gender is determined based on genitalia or chromosomes.
It is written so that it can be applied as needed according to the physical condition, regardless of gender identity, and it also reflects the concerns of non-youth, educators, and caregivers about the sexuality of children and adolescents.
Thanks to this, this lecture is evaluated as ‘good sex education to watch with children.’
In the field of sex education, ‘sexual subjectivity’ is a hot topic.
A sexual subject is ‘a being with the power to make decisions about sex’ and ‘a state of having the power to make choices for oneself.’
To make good choices and decisions, you need not only a strong mind, but also sufficient information and knowledge, and a strong heart for both yourself and others.
Decisions gain meaning when they are respected by others and those around them.
Therefore, in order to become a sexual subject, I must strive to live beyond being a 'strong me' and become a 'respected me', regardless of who I am.
I need to be aware of how much respect I receive in this relationship and continue to ask myself what I want from this love.
Life is a long journey.
This sex education ground course is also a journey to discover who I am.
When this brief journey together ends, we will be travelers with new maps and new plans, ready to embark on our own journey to find good love.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: July 23, 2025
- Page count, weight, size: 248 pages | 250g | 128*188*17mm
- ISBN13: 9791155311554
- ISBN10: 1155311558
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