{"product_id":"157226","title":"How to not speak of pain ","description":"\u003ccenter\u003e\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/tmgdisk01.cafe24.com\/images\/vs\/4172\/sv\/WQt5m5V1Y8N87gtzYhy4ZT.png?v=1764860112\" style=\"max-width:100%;max-height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\u003ccenter\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:95%\"\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:center;font-size:30px;font-weight:bolder;line-height:1.6em\"\u003e How to not speak of pain \u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"border-bottom:1px;border-bottom-style:dotted;border-color:;padding-bottom:20px\"\u003e\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable align=\"center\" width=\"100%\"\u003e\u003ctbody style=\"border:0px\"\u003e\n\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd align=\"center\" style=\"line-height:1.2em;text-align:center;font-size:18px;color:black;font-weight:bold;padding-bottom:20px;\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\n\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"text-align:center\"\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/image.yes24.com\/goods\/123947155\/XL\" style=\"max-width:100%;height:auto\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\n\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:95%;{split_style6}padding-top:20px;padding-bottom:20px\"\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:left;font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;padding-bottom:20px\"\u003e Description \u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:left;word-break:break-all;font-size:14px;line-height:1.6em;\"\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ch5\u003e \u003cb\u003eBook Introduction\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e \u003cb\u003eI believe that I can understand the suffering of others.\u003cbr\u003e A nonfiction experiment that shakes our good arrogance.\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Many people believe that before we can connect with someone (especially the weak), we must understand them.\u003cbr\u003e Because I think that I can't give something that's right for him, that is, what he needs, to someone I don't understand. \u003cbr\u003eAccording to this thinking, solidarity that does not prioritize understanding is closer to one-sided reciprocity, which can ultimately degenerate into an act of rudeness and arrogance.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e But Maria Tumarkin says even that understanding can be a hasty reciprocity from someone who “wants to understand.”\u003cbr\u003e To be more precise, the effort to understand itself is a legitimate attitude toward others.\u003cbr\u003e But according to Tumarkin, the happy ending of understanding others is a (self-satisfying) illusion that can never be achieved.\u003cbr\u003e The effort to understand others, the world around me, is an eternal process that can never reach a conclusion.\u003cbr\u003e Moreover, the process is more often met with failure and frustration than success.\u003cbr\u003e Therefore, solidarity with others can only continue under the following circumstances: \u003cbr\u003eAccepting that the day will never come when you fully understand the other person, and continuing to try despite countless setbacks.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e This book does not explain or theorize these claims, but rather demonstrates them naturally through the structure of the text itself.\u003cbr\u003e The memories that are shattered through each person's pain are actually shown in this book in a shattered form.\u003cbr\u003e That is, the episodes are not arranged sequentially.\u003cbr\u003e Two or three different stories appear mixed together, and even the chronological order is mixed up.\u003cbr\u003e Even fragments of some episodes are suddenly discovered over a hundred pages away. \u003cbr\u003eSo, readers who first start reading this book may be confused and think, 'So what happened to that story? Who is this person who suddenly appeared?', but they soon realize that this narrative style is a design that embodies the 'fact' that it is not easy to trace the inner self of a person.\u003cbr\u003e This is because, by the time a chapter ends, you have the unique experience of the fragments you've collected being reassembled in your head.\u003cbr\u003e That is, the stories and events in this book are constructed before they can be understood.\u003cbr\u003e Or it happens when you refuse to understand.\u003cbr\u003e Some critics have read this book and said that W.\u003cbr\u003e That's probably why I thought of G. Sebald.\u003cbr\u003e\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cul\u003e\u003cli\u003e You can preview some of the book's contents.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cspan\u003ePreview\u003c\/span\u003e\n\n\u003c\/li\u003e\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ch5\u003e \u003cb\u003eindex\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e 1.\u003cbr\u003e Time heals all wounds\u003cbr\u003e 2.\u003cbr\u003e Those who forget the past are condemned to repeat it.\u003cbr\u003e 3.\u003cbr\u003e History repeats itself\u003cbr\u003e 4. \u003cbr\u003eBring me a girl before she turns seven, and I will tell you what kind of woman she will grow up to be.\u003cbr\u003e 5.\u003cbr\u003e You can't step into the same river twice.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Acknowledgements\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ch5\u003e \u003cb\u003eDetailed image\u003c\/b\u003e \u003c\/h5\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003cimg src=\"https:\/\/image.yes24.com\/momo\/TopCate4366\/MidCate004\/436536205.jpg\" border=\"0\" alt=\"Detailed Image 1\"\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ch5\u003e \u003cb\u003eInto the book\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e There are limits to our ability to understand the suffering of others.\u003cbr\u003e --- p.212\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e There is a limit to everything, including sadness.\u003cbr\u003e No, it's not sadness.\u003cbr\u003e There is no limit to sorrow.\u003cbr\u003e --- p.90\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The cleaner came once a week.\u003cbr\u003e Each time, Frances's mother hid all of Katie's pictures and erased all traces of her absence.\u003cbr\u003e Don't touch that room.\u003cbr\u003e My mother used to say to the cleaner.\u003cbr\u003e Our youngest also needs to learn how to clean on his own.\u003cbr\u003e Loving is also difficult.\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eMom said she didn't want the cleaner to know someone had died in the house, but I know she did it so she could pretend Katie was still alive for three hours every week.\u003cbr\u003e (\"Confession to Mother,\" 3rd grade creative writing assignment)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Joan Didion couldn't get rid of her dead husband's shoes because she knew he would have to wear them when he returned.\u003cbr\u003e Even the smartest people on this planet wait for the dead to return.\u003cbr\u003e --- p.72\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Facts about a person are often unknown to others, and most of them are things that others could never have known about in the first place.\u003cbr\u003e There are limits to our ability to understand the suffering of others.\u003cbr\u003e If we ignore that limitation, people become a collection of symbols.\u003cbr\u003e It turns into a kind of tool, a water bottle filled with only our favorite drinks. \u003cbr\u003eAccepting another person as a complete human being means recognizing what makes them different from us, and not necessarily distorting those differences into something approaching the sublime.\u003cbr\u003e Like people anywhere else, people living on the streets are both good and bad.\u003cbr\u003e Their pasts of poverty, neglect, abuse, and disadvantage do not protect them like magic dust.\u003cbr\u003e In other words, it does not provide them with a moral absolution for all their actions.\u003cbr\u003e If we judge some people's morality to be more noble than it really is because they have suffered misfortune, and if only then can we (as fellow human beings) be angry... well, that would be really sad.\u003cbr\u003e --- p.212\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e For the Greeks, the word compassion did not carry the connotations of superiority that it often does for us today. \u003cbr\u003eCompassion is a word that expresses a feeling of sadness and pity.\u003cbr\u003e The heart that is revealed every time we accept the vulnerability that we humans inevitably reveal in the face of misfortune as a kind of wonder.\u003cbr\u003e --- p.36~37\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Among Wisława Szymborska's poems there is a work called \"Self-Mutilation.\"\u003cbr\u003e Automutilation is when an animal cuts off a part of its body in self-defense, as the sea cucumber does in this poem.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e A sea cucumber in danger cuts itself in half.\u003cbr\u003e Leaving one's self in a hungry world\u003cbr\u003e Run away with your other self\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e One part is salvation, hope.\u003cbr\u003e Salvation does not reach the other side.\u003cbr\u003e Letting one part die allows the other part to reconstitute itself and grow into a living 'whole' again.\u003cbr\u003e Survivors are like sea cucumbers.\u003cbr\u003e What this means is that survival is not the opposite of death. \u003cbr\u003eIn some ways, survival can be much closer to death than life.\u003cbr\u003e Years after the war, Charlotte Delvaux's friend and fellow survivor, Madou, would say to Delvaux:\u003cbr\u003e “I died in Auschwitz and no one knew it.”\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e --- p.342~343\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\u003cdiv\u003e\u003ch5\u003e \u003cb\u003ePublisher's Review\u003c\/b\u003e\n\u003c\/h5\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e \u003cb\u003e*The New Yorker's Best Books of the Year (2019)\u003cbr\u003e *Publisher's Weekly Book of the Year (2019)\u003cbr\u003e *National Book Critics Circle Award Finalist (2019)\u003cbr\u003e *Winner of the Wyndham Campbell Award for Nonfiction (2020)\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e The deeper you go into the darkness\u003cbr\u003e The human mind becomes incomprehensible\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Based on the novel by Lionel Shriver, the film \"We Need to Talk About Kevin\" depicts Kevin, a teenager who commits mass murder at school, and his mother.\u003cbr\u003e One of the reasons this film is so impressive is that it doesn't reveal the exact motive for the murder. \u003cbr\u003eAt the end of the film, Kevin's mother asks him in prison:\u003cbr\u003e “Now tell me, why did you do that?” Kevin replies.\u003cbr\u003e “I thought I knew, but now I don’t.” The reason for killing his classmates is either unclear, or no one (not even the parties involved) has discovered it.\u003cbr\u003e Gus Van Sant's film Elephant, which depicts a real-life mass shooting more directly, takes a more cynical stance.\u003cbr\u003e The film briefly touches on the causes that \"ordinary people\" might point to as causes of youth gun violence, such as violent video games, and then shows that these are far too small and trivial to be the causes of this empty criminal behavior. \u003cbr\u003eWhy did children go to school and kill people? No one knows why, and that's the saddest and most terrifying message this film presents.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e A similar anecdote appears in 『How to Not Speak of Pain』.\u003cbr\u003e This is the story of Andrew Solomon, the famous author of \"The Noonday Blues,\" visiting the parents of one of the perpetrators of the Columbine High School shooting.\u003cbr\u003e After interviewing the couple, he concludes:\u003cbr\u003e “We are victims of the terrible fact, which is often found even in the most intimate of human relationships: that we are completely unaware of others.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003eThen darkness and,\u003cbr\u003e How do I face the minds I cannot understand?\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Many people believe that before we can connect with someone (especially the weak), we must understand them. \u003cbr\u003eBecause I think that I can't give something that's right for him, that is, what he needs, to someone I don't understand.\u003cbr\u003e According to this thinking, solidarity that does not prioritize understanding is closer to one-sided reciprocity, which can ultimately degenerate into an act of rudeness and arrogance.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e But Maria Tumarkin says even that understanding can be a hasty reciprocity from someone who “wants to understand.”\u003cbr\u003e To be more precise, the effort to understand itself is a legitimate attitude toward others.\u003cbr\u003e But according to Tumarkin, the happy ending of understanding others is a (self-satisfying) illusion that can never be achieved.\u003cbr\u003e The effort to understand others, the world around me, is an eternal process that can never reach a conclusion.\u003cbr\u003e Moreover, the process is more often met with failure and frustration than success. \u003cbr\u003eTherefore, solidarity with others can only continue under the following circumstances:\u003cbr\u003e Accepting that the day will never come when you fully understand the other person, and continuing to try despite countless setbacks.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Then why can't we understand each other?\u003cbr\u003e First, Tumarkin addresses various social problems existing in so-called advanced countries, including Australia, and talks with the parties involved.\u003cbr\u003e Suicide survivors, drug addicts, the homeless, war immigrants, survivors of Nazi concentration camps, victims of domestic violence… … But the testimonies of these individuals and the circumstances surrounding them deviate somewhat from common sense. \u003cbr\u003eThere are teenagers who habitually attempt suicide without any emotional trauma, there are incidents where helping a homeless person ends up killing him, and there are three- and four-year-olds who seamlessly absorb and act out fake identities to avoid the Nazis.\u003cbr\u003e Tumacin brings in people of various types, such as suicide survivors and drug addicts, and shows them the common perceptions surrounding them, and then presents cases that overturn those common perceptions.\u003cbr\u003e And this naturally leads to one argument.\u003cbr\u003e When it comes to understanding a person's inner self, theories and preconceptions are merely auxiliary tools, and often have a detrimental effect.\u003cbr\u003e This book says that understanding someone is incredibly difficult.\u003cbr\u003e Only after engaging in intense communication with each of those personalities can one vaguely guess at it. \u003cbr\u003eTherefore, almost any social system that requires humans to be classified and grouped ultimately fails at that point.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e Because of this, some critics have described the book as bleak and without solutions.\u003cbr\u003e But Tumarkin points out that if we don't face that gloom, we will end up treating the weak as the 'good and powerful' want.\u003cbr\u003e The reason Tumarkin reveals the grim reality of the difficulty of understanding others in this book is because that very point is the starting point of 'understanding, speaking, and solidarity.'\u003cbr\u003e He says in the text of the book:\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003e\"To say, 'That person could have been me,' shouldn't we first ask who that person was? And doesn't it usually take eons to decipher the answer to that question? Facts about a human being are often unknown to others, and most of them are never discoverable to others in the first place.\u003cbr\u003e There are limits to our ability to understand the suffering of others.\u003cbr\u003e If we ignore that limitation, people become a collection of symbols.\u003cbr\u003e It turns into a kind of tool, a water bottle filled with only our favorite drinks.\u003cbr\u003e “Accepting another person as a complete human being means recognizing what makes them different from us, and not necessarily distorting those differences into something approaching the sublime.”\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cb\u003eA symbol of broken hearts and memories,\u003cbr\u003e W.\u003cbr\u003e A unique narrative reminiscent of G. Sebald\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cbr\u003e \u003cbr\u003eThe reason why \"How to Speak of Pain\" has received international attention is because it naturally presents these claims through the structure of the text itself, without explaining or theorizing them.\u003cbr\u003e The memories that are shattered through each person's pain are actually shown in this book in a shattered form.\u003cbr\u003e That is, the episodes are not arranged sequentially.\u003cbr\u003e Two or three different stories appear mixed together, and even the chronological order is mixed up.\u003cbr\u003e Even fragments of some episodes are suddenly discovered over a hundred pages away.\u003cbr\u003e So, readers who start this book for the first time may be confused and think, 'So what happened to that story? Who is this person who suddenly appeared?'\u003cbr\u003e But the reader soon realizes that this narrative style is a design that embodies the 'fact' that it is not easy to trace the inner self of a human being. \u003cbr\u003eThis is because, by the time a chapter ends, you have the unique experience of the fragments you've collected being reassembled in your head.\u003cbr\u003e That is, the stories and events in this book are constructed before they can be understood.\u003cbr\u003e Or it happens when you refuse to understand.\u003cbr\u003e Some critics have described the structure of the book as W.\u003cbr\u003e That may be why it was compared to G. Sebald's work.\u003cbr\u003e The National Book Critics Circle's 2019 introduction to this book, which was a finalist in the nonfiction category, captures this characteristic well.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e “No matter who you are or what you’ve read before, I can guarantee you’ve never read anything like this book.\u003cbr\u003e To say I 'read' this book seems inaccurate in terms of my experience with it.\u003cbr\u003e You encounter his language as if you were encountering a stranger.\u003cbr\u003e We cannot trace its outlines at the moment, and we must continually return to it and settle into its unique variations. \u003cbr\u003e“Toumakin’s work makes completely strange phenomena we have become so accustomed to—not just language, but also gun violence, mass murder, persistent structural poverty, and so on.” \u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003cdiv\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:95%;padding-top:20px;padding-bottom:20px\"\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:left;font-size:16px;font-weight:bold;padding-bottom:20px\"\u003e GOODS SPECIFICS \u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"text-align:left;font-size:14px;line-height:1.6em;\"\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:100%;margin-bottom:5px;line-height:1.6em;font-size:14px\"\u003e - \u003cstrong\u003eDate of issue:\u003c\/strong\u003e December 5, 2023\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:100%;margin-bottom:5px;line-height:1.6em;font-size:14px\"\u003e - \u003cstrong\u003ePage count, weight, size:\u003c\/strong\u003e 432 pages | 372g | 115*190*23mm\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:100%;margin-bottom:5px;line-height:1.6em;font-size:14px\"\u003e - \u003cstrong\u003eISBN13:\u003c\/strong\u003e 9788932461403\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003cdiv style=\"width:100%;margin-bottom:5px;line-height:1.6em;font-size:14px\"\u003e - \u003cstrong\u003eISBN10:\u003c\/strong\u003e 8932461406 \u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\n\u003c\/div\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003ccenter\u003e\u003ctable\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\u003ctd style=\"height:10px\"\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\u003cspan\u003e\u003c\/span\u003e\n\n\u003c\/center\u003e\n\n\n\u003c\/center\u003e","brand":"LIBRAIRIE COREENNE","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":43889877614634,"sku":"157226","price":25.0,"currency_code":"EUR","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0683\/2750\/5962\/files\/acb0bb5bf9a7bb6208718e34f0d8f4b8.jpg?v=1765274634","url":"https:\/\/librairie.coreenne.fr\/en\/products\/157226","provider":"LIBRAIRIE COREENNE","version":"1.0","type":"link"}