Overcoming 'depression' and 'anxiety'
A psychological prescription for finding personal happiness!

As we go through life, we experience misfortunes both big and small, and sometimes, when faced with such misfortunes that are difficult to understand, we try to find answers by bringing up countless 'what-ifs', as the author says, asking, "Why me?"
Will we ever find the answers we desire? The more we delve into the past to find the origins of our misfortunes, the more likely we are to accumulate regret and anguish.
The more I believe I have complete control over myself and my life, the more I question and regret it when various unpredictable variables arise.
In the process, aren't we bringing suffering upon ourselves by fostering emotions like 'depression' and 'anxiety'?
The author, who has worked as a clinical psychologist, says in this book that we must accept that we cannot control every situation as planned.
He emphasizes the importance of finding a balance between happiness and unhappiness while accepting the various failures we experience throughout life.
When you acknowledge your imperfections, you can see the problem in front of you as it is and overcome it in a way that you can.

Depression and anxiety are common experiences for everyone, and they have a way of sticking to us, making it difficult to shake off and persistently tormenting us.
Feeling depressed or anxious temporarily is not considered an illness.
It is perfectly natural to feel various negative emotions depending on life events, and feeling emotions is also the basis for supporting humanity.
What do you think of someone who doesn't feel depressed at all when a longtime friend passes away? What kind of life would someone lead who doesn't feel anxious about an important exam and just plays games? Thus, all emotions, no matter how negative, serve a specific function: they serve as indicators of our reactions to experience and motivate adaptive behavior.
--- p.21~22

We often believe that we ruminate to solve problems.
We fall into the illusion that if we carefully look back on our past mistakes, we will find a clue to solving our problems, and that by reflecting on the past, we will become more mature.
But rumination and reflection are different.
While both are similar in that they involve thinking back to the cause of a problem, rumination is a type of thinking that automatically digs up past mistakes outside of conscious control.
Reflection, on the other hand, is active thinking that consciously seeks solutions to achieve goals.
Rumination is being stuck in the past, wondering "what if" because you're afraid to face your current self, which hasn't lived up to your expectations.
Reflection is standing before a mirror and facing your present self to examine the past and illuminate a better future.

--- p.32~33

In everyday life, we often use the expression 'sensitive', which can be seen as referring to people with high neuroticism.
Neuroticism is known to have a strong genetic predisposition, and the inherited characteristics of these people include hyper-reactivity of the basal ganglia region of the brain and a decrease in the function of the frontal lobe that suppresses this hyper-reactivity.
Therefore, it is difficult to control emotional hyperreactivity that occurs deep in the brain through conscious effort.
People with high neuroticism share these genetic vulnerabilities as well as general psychological vulnerabilities.
They suffer chronically from a feeling that their lives are unpredictable and out of control.

--- p.50~51

Primitive people who lived in an era before technological civilization developed took for granted a life where they could endure the given conditions, whether it rained or snowed, was hot or cold.
But today, living in an environment without basic heating and cooling is inhumane.
Human control over nature has grown remarkably, and I believe that leveraging this control to create a better world should be a fundamental priority.
In fact, we overlook the fact that a livable world with human control is not a given, but a product of an incredibly advanced civilization.

--- p.70~71

To see yourself as you are, you need to distance yourself from yourself.
Only by distancing myself from the experiences that unfold in my inner world—my thoughts, feelings, desires—can I see myself as I am.
Those experiences are a part of me, of course, but not all of me.
But if I can't keep my distance from the experience, it becomes my whole being, and I feel like I can never escape from it.
When I'm depressed, it seems like this depression will last forever and I feel like a pathetic person.
Because I don't see depression as part of my experience, I see myself in a depressed state.

--- p.99

Cognitive defusion refers to a state in which one separates the thoughts occurring in one's inner world from reality.
In other words, it refers to the process of observing thoughts as they are without accepting them as reality.
When you think, 'I'm depressed,' observe the process of thinking, 'I'm thinking that I'm depressed.'
This defusion allows us to distance ourselves from all the past memories, negative images, and self-critical voices associated with the word "depression."
Rather than experiencing them as reality, I simply view them as temporary happenings that occur in my mind's world.

--- p.102~103

It is no surprise that physical ailments, both large and small, are closely linked to psychological problems.
Physical illness is both a cause and a result of psychological problems.
Depression and anxiety disorders are not just emotional problems, but also include a variety of physical symptoms.
Depressive disorders may be accompanied by fatigue, decreased physical energy and immunity, and weight changes, while anxiety disorders may present with a variety of physical symptoms such as muscle stiffness and tension, heart palpitations, tingling in the hands and feet, headaches, and abdominal pain.
Meanwhile, deteriorating physical health can also lead to mental illness.
Sudden illness, physical injury, or chronic pain can lead to a pessimistic outlook on life, and unexpected bodily changes can lead to depression and anxiety.

--- p.125~126

The desire to find answers to the question, "Who am I?" and the desire to establish one's own identity are considered basic human needs, and "Know thyself" is also a fundamental proposition of all psychotherapy.
Psychoanalytic therapy seeks to live a life free from the tyranny of the unconscious by becoming aware of one's unconscious conflicts, while behavioral therapy seeks to reduce behaviors that lead to negative outcomes and increase behaviors that lead to positive outcomes by understanding the antecedents of one's behavior and the consequences of that behavior.
Cognitive therapy aims to help people identify their dysfunctional beliefs and negative automatic thoughts and transform them into more positive and functional thoughts.

--- p.140

When we are depressed or anxious, our brains become dominated by neurotransmitters like norepinephrine and serotonin.
Taking action to counteract these chemical reactions and reverse the symptoms is incredibly difficult and requires the courage of a person who is about to give up on a sinking ship.
In fact, taking your hands off the railing is a very simple action.
All you have to do is slightly relax your hands.
But the reason why it is difficult to attempt that behavior is not because it is a very complex and difficult movement, but because I am afraid of having to try an action that is unfamiliar to me and whose outcome I cannot predict.

--- p.154~155

From a macroscopic perspective, the obsessive search for meaning in life is a cognitive characteristic of people vulnerable to depression and anxiety.
They find it difficult to live with their feet on the ground.
The motivation to avoid life's pain rather than experiencing every moment intensely reinforces a non-engaged attitude toward life.
The attitude of trying to live life with one foot out of the equation forces me to constantly look at the macroscopic perspective, and I believe that only by finding the true, fundamental meaning can this life be worth living.
But this obsessive search for meaning in life only serves to reaffirm its meaninglessness.
Because in the first place, such a special and grand meaning does not exist.

--- p.163

Even when a child is old enough to speak, parents need firm guidance to help them learn the skills to properly regulate their emotions when they cry and throw tantrums.
“Be honest and tell me what’s bothering you and what you want.
“If you don’t tell me, I won’t know,” he said.
Through such guidance, children become aware of their own emotions and desires, and naturally accept that others' hearts and minds are not the same, and that communication is possible even when they are not the same.

--- p.193

In acceptance and commitment therapy, it is stated that 'value' is not something to be pursued like a goal, but rather something to be realized.
Goals can be expressed as specific points that can be achieved, but values ​​are revealed over the course of life.
Values ​​make us think about what we want our lives to be like and choose actions that align with that.
--- p.202

When you first receive psychological counseling, you will likely go through a confusing time of regret, resentment, and anger as you reflect on past wounds.
However, you must be careful not to get caught up in the negative memories and emotions that you have been suppressing.
Psychological counseling cannot be a tool to identify and hold accountable the perpetrators who hurt me.
Even if my past self was hurt, I must accept that I am responsible for living in the present, and I must choose for myself how to live from now on.
To fully take responsibility for that choice, you must be able to pay equal attention to both the positive and negative aspects of this world.

--- p.220

When first learning about anxiety disorders, one of the first things covered is the adaptive value of anxiety.
For example, anxiety is a normal emotional response to a dangerous situation, and it is a useful emotion that protects us from external threats and motivates us to prepare for unwanted negative outcomes.
However, unlike normal anxiety, if you feel anxiety even when there is no real danger, if it is excessive compared to the degree of danger, or if it persists even after the risk factor has disappeared, it is considered pathological anxiety.
In other words, people who suffer from excessive anxiety tend to exaggerate even the slightest cues of threat.

--- p.254~255

One cognitive trait that permeates people who are unable to enjoy pleasant moments and are not generous with themselves is dichotomous thinking.
For them, there is no gray area of ​​thought or judgment allowed.
We live in a black and white world where everything is clearly divided into good or evil, success or failure, love or hate, happiness or unhappiness.
In this black and white world, everything seems clear, but in the real world, there is always a muddy mess that clouds this clarity.
A nasty impurity that intrudes into a happy moment completely ruins the whole moment.

--- p.271