Try to live without complaints
 |
Description
Book Introduction
“If life just won’t work out no matter what you do, stop complaining right now!” The bible of self-development passed down by word of mouth! A life-changing project that has completely transformed the lives of 15 million people in 106 countries! Several times a day, I feel angry, irritated, and frustrated. They say that the language of successful people is all positive and future-oriented, but in reality, absurd, ridiculous, and annoying things happen several times more often than good things. They say that to be truly happy as "your true self," you need to be true to your present emotions. But what if negative emotions keep surfacing? Is there a quick, easy, and surefire way to change your life? "Living Without Complaining," a book that has quietly spread by word of mouth and transformed the lives of 15 million people worldwide for over a decade, offers the method! Published in over 40 countries worldwide and selling over 100,000 copies in Korea, it's been hailed as a hidden classic in self-improvement. Also, the A COMPLAINT FREE WORLD campaign, which is running in 106 countries, is producing amazing results in which participants' lives are completely transformed simply by stopping complaining. How is this possible? Research in psychology, medicine, and neuroscience suggests that the words we speak control our brains. Even if you don't have much to be thankful for in life, simply avoiding negative language can significantly reduce the frequency with which your brain is exposed to negative words, which can have tremendous psychological, physical, and financial benefits. In fact, it has been reported that three-quarters of American employees would turn down a raise of more than $10,000 if they had to work with a complaining coworker. The method of 'living without complaining' suggested in the book is very simple. Wear a rubber band on one wrist and wear it on the other wrist whenever you say something negative. According to cognitive psychology, it takes 21 days for the brain to adopt a new habit. It is a period that can be easily achieved within a month, no matter when you start. Everyone wants to live their one and only life happily and enjoyably. The way is not far away. It's just about cutting down on useless complaints and focusing on what's most important to me right now. There is no need to invest months or years. Let's just try it for 21 days. Let's rewrite our lives through success stories and practical tips from readers around the world who have challenged themselves and succeeded. |
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Preview
index
To Korean readers 06
Introduction 11
Introduction 16
PART 1: The Unconscious Complaining Stage
01 I Complain, Therefore I Am 42
02 Complaints and Health 76
PART 2: The Stage of Complaining While Conscious
03 Complaining and Human Relationships 96
04 Why We Complain 123
05 Wake Up 162
PART 3: The Stage of Being Conscious and Not Complaining
06 Silence and the Language of Complaints 180
07 Criticism and Criticism 203
08 If you're happy, honk the horn 215
09 Devotion 233
PART 4: The Step to Not Complaining Without Being Conscious
10 Master's Realm 248
11 Stories Without Complaints 269
Conclusion: Grapes ripen while observing other grapes 295
Acknowledgments 314
Introduction 11
Introduction 16
PART 1: The Unconscious Complaining Stage
01 I Complain, Therefore I Am 42
02 Complaints and Health 76
PART 2: The Stage of Complaining While Conscious
03 Complaining and Human Relationships 96
04 Why We Complain 123
05 Wake Up 162
PART 3: The Stage of Being Conscious and Not Complaining
06 Silence and the Language of Complaints 180
07 Criticism and Criticism 203
08 If you're happy, honk the horn 215
09 Devotion 233
PART 4: The Step to Not Complaining Without Being Conscious
10 Master's Realm 248
11 Stories Without Complaints 269
Conclusion: Grapes ripen while observing other grapes 295
Acknowledgments 314
Detailed image
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Into the book
Negative thoughts are the seeds we sow throughout the world through our complaining.
Then weeds will grow all over the place.
So you have to be vigilant and guard your thoughts.
You need to shelter that thought from the negative attitudes of other people or from the 'news'.
From now on, change your destructive words into constructive words.
Never forget that thoughts create life, and words reveal thoughts.
Keep your thoughts and words positive.
--- p.30
Books that teach you how to diet are perennial bestsellers.
People buy books, try the methods introduced for a few days, and then eventually realize that they need to exercise and eat less to diet properly, so they stop doing it.
They don't change their eating habits, and not only do they regain the weight they've barely lost, they gain it even more! Then they buy another diet book and repeat the cycle.
You may try and stop yourself from kicking the purple band.
Or you can practice this exercise consistently and fundamentally change your life.
--- p.38~39
Complaining does little to improve our situation.
Complaining 'poisons our ears' and is detrimental to our happiness and comfort.
Let's look back at ourselves.
When you complain, is there really a serious reason for it? Do you complain too often? Or do you deliberately cry out "Ouch" when you're not in pain? To master your own thoughts and live your life according to your design, you need to set a very high bar for expressing sadness, pain, and discontent.
--- p.51
Scientists who study the brain put it this way:
“Neurons that fire together wire together.” In other words, the more often you think about something in a certain way, the more you become stuck in that thought pattern.
People who complain frequently have their brain neurons primed to process life in a negative way.
It's not their fault.
Over time, your brain has simply created shortcuts to negative thinking.
--- p.66
According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, optimists live longer than pessimists and have a 23 percent lower risk of dying from heart failure and a whopping 55 percent lower risk of dying from any cause.
Being around people who don't complain not only improves your physical health, but it also has significant benefits for your mental health.
In 1996, Stanford University conducted a study using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans to study the effects of complaining on people's brains.
Researchers found that after just 30 minutes of complaining or listening to others complain, the hippocampus region of the brain begins to shrink, leading to decreased mental function, poorer memory, and impaired learning ability.
In other words, complaining makes us stupid!
--- p.93
Just because we become a complain-free person, we can't expect the complaints of those around us to immediately go quiet.
If anyone does not act in concert with the group, each individual in the group feels threatened.
However, one can exercise self-control because of the awareness that one's actions are not optimal.
Self-control is further enhanced when there are people around who do not participate in destructive behavior.
--- p.105
A chronic complainer will say that no matter what topic you bring up, it's not going well.
These people are so used to getting attention by complaining that they complain about things that may not even happen or things that could build a positive relationship with someone.
Rather than fighting this reaction, just accept it.
Just think of it as a trained parrot speaking.
It will require consistent patience and constant effort, but it is worth it to build the foundation for a new relationship with that colleague.
--- p.130~131
Social media encourages comparison and complaining, tapping into our innate anxieties and fears.
Traditional media also encourages complaints for the same reasons.
News that upsets us keeps our attention and allows the media to sell more ads.
The goal of media is to engage viewers as often and for as long as possible, and complaints ensure that.
Then weeds will grow all over the place.
So you have to be vigilant and guard your thoughts.
You need to shelter that thought from the negative attitudes of other people or from the 'news'.
From now on, change your destructive words into constructive words.
Never forget that thoughts create life, and words reveal thoughts.
Keep your thoughts and words positive.
--- p.30
Books that teach you how to diet are perennial bestsellers.
People buy books, try the methods introduced for a few days, and then eventually realize that they need to exercise and eat less to diet properly, so they stop doing it.
They don't change their eating habits, and not only do they regain the weight they've barely lost, they gain it even more! Then they buy another diet book and repeat the cycle.
You may try and stop yourself from kicking the purple band.
Or you can practice this exercise consistently and fundamentally change your life.
--- p.38~39
Complaining does little to improve our situation.
Complaining 'poisons our ears' and is detrimental to our happiness and comfort.
Let's look back at ourselves.
When you complain, is there really a serious reason for it? Do you complain too often? Or do you deliberately cry out "Ouch" when you're not in pain? To master your own thoughts and live your life according to your design, you need to set a very high bar for expressing sadness, pain, and discontent.
--- p.51
Scientists who study the brain put it this way:
“Neurons that fire together wire together.” In other words, the more often you think about something in a certain way, the more you become stuck in that thought pattern.
People who complain frequently have their brain neurons primed to process life in a negative way.
It's not their fault.
Over time, your brain has simply created shortcuts to negative thinking.
--- p.66
According to a study published in JAMA Psychiatry, optimists live longer than pessimists and have a 23 percent lower risk of dying from heart failure and a whopping 55 percent lower risk of dying from any cause.
Being around people who don't complain not only improves your physical health, but it also has significant benefits for your mental health.
In 1996, Stanford University conducted a study using magnetic resonance imaging (MRI) scans to study the effects of complaining on people's brains.
Researchers found that after just 30 minutes of complaining or listening to others complain, the hippocampus region of the brain begins to shrink, leading to decreased mental function, poorer memory, and impaired learning ability.
In other words, complaining makes us stupid!
--- p.93
Just because we become a complain-free person, we can't expect the complaints of those around us to immediately go quiet.
If anyone does not act in concert with the group, each individual in the group feels threatened.
However, one can exercise self-control because of the awareness that one's actions are not optimal.
Self-control is further enhanced when there are people around who do not participate in destructive behavior.
--- p.105
A chronic complainer will say that no matter what topic you bring up, it's not going well.
These people are so used to getting attention by complaining that they complain about things that may not even happen or things that could build a positive relationship with someone.
Rather than fighting this reaction, just accept it.
Just think of it as a trained parrot speaking.
It will require consistent patience and constant effort, but it is worth it to build the foundation for a new relationship with that colleague.
--- p.130~131
Social media encourages comparison and complaining, tapping into our innate anxieties and fears.
Traditional media also encourages complaints for the same reasons.
News that upsets us keeps our attention and allows the media to sell more ads.
The goal of media is to engage viewers as often and for as long as possible, and complaints ensure that.
--- p.152
Publisher's Review
★ Published in over 40 countries worldwide!
★ The self-development bible read by 15 million people!
★ Latest revised edition to celebrate 100,000 copies sold!
★ Includes the author's preface in the Korean edition!
Why don't you do what's best for me?
We tend to postpone happiness until later.
I think that if this problem that is bothering me now is solved, I will be happy right away.
But the only day without any problems is the day we take our last breath.
Until then, all kinds of problems will arise before us from time to time, and we will have to live each day as if we are struggling.
So decide.
This is a decision to be happy regardless of the reality I am facing at this moment.
People who make it a habit to not complain actually experience a natural improvement in their quality of life.
We often see people's health improve, their relationships become more fulfilling, and they achieve outstanding results at work.
The greatest harvest is to be able to enjoy life with a happy and peaceful mind at all times.
It's not easy to change a habit you've been repeating for a long time, but that's why you should try right now.
As time goes by and you improve your behavior, you will soon find yourself living the life you want.
It is important to check the words you speak every day.
It is the most certain way to change our lives!
It started with a very small 'thought'.
In July 2006, Will Bowen, a pastor in Kansas City, Missouri, observed people's behavior and discovered that most people complain without even realizing it, spending energy on things they don't want to do.
Will Bowen decided to create a rubber band to make people aware of the complaints they unconsciously utter, and he made and distributed purple rubber bands that symbolize change.
The band and the "Live Without Complaining" movement spread by word of mouth over the years, eventually becoming a global campaign with 15 million participants worldwide.
Kansas City has designated a "No Complaint Day," and there's a movement in the United States and Canada to designate the day before Thanksgiving as "No Complaint Wednesday."
Remember, complaining is useless!
The easiest way to change your life: the 'Living Without Complaining' project!
1.
I decide to wear a purple rubber band on one wrist and try to suppress my complaints for 21 days.
2.
If you notice that you have complained, immediately move the band to the other side and start over.
3.
Even when someone points out a complaint, the band moves.
Because I spoke negatively to others through criticism.
4.
If you can live without complaining for 21 days, you are successful.
According to those who have tried it first, it usually takes 4 to 8 months.
There's no need to be scared before you even start because it looks difficult.
All you have to do is hold back the complaints and criticism that come out of your mouth.
If you fail, you can just start again.
Complaining in your heart is freedom.
But as I continue with this project, I will find that even harboring negative thoughts within myself feels foolish.
It doesn't have to be a rubber band.
You can put a small object in your pocket and move it to the opposite side every time you complain.
The important thing is to move it from one wrist to the other, from one pocket to another, from one drawer to another.
Because in order to recognize and improve one's own behavior, 'action' rather than 'resolution' is important.
It's hard to be grateful for reality
Reducing complaints takes very little effort!
Let go of your regrettable past and be reborn as a completely different person!
It's impossible to live without complaining at all.
It is also true that people who are 'dissatisfied' with something have developed the world.
In fact, it is no exaggeration to say that all change begins with dissatisfaction.
But complaining itself doesn't help solve the problem.
Complaining about trivial everyday phenomena or situations, especially those that are not universal rules that apply to everyone, such as social institutions or systems, may gain sympathy and agreement from those around you, but it is of no use in improving the situation.
"Living Without Complaining" features testimonials from countless readers who have demonstrated how their lives have improved by participating in the project over the past 15 years.
What's particularly noteworthy is that research in psychology, medicine, and neuroscience has revealed how the habit of reducing complaints actually affects our bodies and brains.
The most representative concept is neuroplasticity, the powerful remodeling ability of our brain.
Our brains can rewire and redirect neurons to create new pathways of thought.
Additionally, because the brain rewires itself periodically over time, simply choosing not to complain about past struggles can create a shortcut to positivity.
In other words, simply practicing 'living without complaining' for 21 days can increase happiness and break the pattern of negative emotions related to complaining.
Psychologists call this "subjective well-being," and the numerous testimonials in this book are proof of it.
No matter what your life has been like so far, over 15 million people are already experiencing better health, happier relationships, more meaningful social activities, and a vastly increased sense of well-being.
Remember that you too have the opportunity and the right to live a wonderful life.
The beginning is to stop complaining.
Will Bowen's Message to Korean Readers
“I am honored to be able to share my new book with Korean readers.
I would also like to express my gratitude to the 100,000 Korean readers who have been reading “Living Without Complaining” for a long time and have joined the Zero Complaints Challenge.
I personally chose Taekwondo as a method of training and meditation, and have been training my mind and body for a long time.
Today, I look at the Taegeuk symbol on my shoulder, feeling connected to Korea and Korean readers.
The Koreans I've met and interacted with so far have been strong, proud, hard-working, and a light that illuminates the world.
I also knew very well that complaining never helps you pursue health, happiness, or success, and that complaining about life doesn't make it any better.
Dear readers, as I revise this manuscript, I want to share new research findings, a variety of case studies, the destructive nature of the habit of complaining, and clearer ways to stop complaining in ourselves and in those around us.
Remember, the opposite of complaining is gratitude.
Complaining focuses only on what is lacking, lacking, and wrong.
But gratitude focuses on what we have now, on what is positively affecting us right now.
To live a happy, loving, and successful life, you need to build a solid foundation for your life based on what you already have rather than what you lack.
As we spend less time complaining, our minds will naturally shift toward gratitude, and this shift will connect us more closely to the abundance of the universe.
Until the good fortune of meeting you in person comes, I hope you will live a life free from complaints, always happy and healthy, and that good fortune will overflow.
I hope to visit Korea soon and give a lecture in front of you in person.”
★ The self-development bible read by 15 million people!
★ Latest revised edition to celebrate 100,000 copies sold!
★ Includes the author's preface in the Korean edition!
Why don't you do what's best for me?
We tend to postpone happiness until later.
I think that if this problem that is bothering me now is solved, I will be happy right away.
But the only day without any problems is the day we take our last breath.
Until then, all kinds of problems will arise before us from time to time, and we will have to live each day as if we are struggling.
So decide.
This is a decision to be happy regardless of the reality I am facing at this moment.
People who make it a habit to not complain actually experience a natural improvement in their quality of life.
We often see people's health improve, their relationships become more fulfilling, and they achieve outstanding results at work.
The greatest harvest is to be able to enjoy life with a happy and peaceful mind at all times.
It's not easy to change a habit you've been repeating for a long time, but that's why you should try right now.
As time goes by and you improve your behavior, you will soon find yourself living the life you want.
It is important to check the words you speak every day.
It is the most certain way to change our lives!
It started with a very small 'thought'.
In July 2006, Will Bowen, a pastor in Kansas City, Missouri, observed people's behavior and discovered that most people complain without even realizing it, spending energy on things they don't want to do.
Will Bowen decided to create a rubber band to make people aware of the complaints they unconsciously utter, and he made and distributed purple rubber bands that symbolize change.
The band and the "Live Without Complaining" movement spread by word of mouth over the years, eventually becoming a global campaign with 15 million participants worldwide.
Kansas City has designated a "No Complaint Day," and there's a movement in the United States and Canada to designate the day before Thanksgiving as "No Complaint Wednesday."
Remember, complaining is useless!
The easiest way to change your life: the 'Living Without Complaining' project!
1.
I decide to wear a purple rubber band on one wrist and try to suppress my complaints for 21 days.
2.
If you notice that you have complained, immediately move the band to the other side and start over.
3.
Even when someone points out a complaint, the band moves.
Because I spoke negatively to others through criticism.
4.
If you can live without complaining for 21 days, you are successful.
According to those who have tried it first, it usually takes 4 to 8 months.
There's no need to be scared before you even start because it looks difficult.
All you have to do is hold back the complaints and criticism that come out of your mouth.
If you fail, you can just start again.
Complaining in your heart is freedom.
But as I continue with this project, I will find that even harboring negative thoughts within myself feels foolish.
It doesn't have to be a rubber band.
You can put a small object in your pocket and move it to the opposite side every time you complain.
The important thing is to move it from one wrist to the other, from one pocket to another, from one drawer to another.
Because in order to recognize and improve one's own behavior, 'action' rather than 'resolution' is important.
It's hard to be grateful for reality
Reducing complaints takes very little effort!
Let go of your regrettable past and be reborn as a completely different person!
It's impossible to live without complaining at all.
It is also true that people who are 'dissatisfied' with something have developed the world.
In fact, it is no exaggeration to say that all change begins with dissatisfaction.
But complaining itself doesn't help solve the problem.
Complaining about trivial everyday phenomena or situations, especially those that are not universal rules that apply to everyone, such as social institutions or systems, may gain sympathy and agreement from those around you, but it is of no use in improving the situation.
"Living Without Complaining" features testimonials from countless readers who have demonstrated how their lives have improved by participating in the project over the past 15 years.
What's particularly noteworthy is that research in psychology, medicine, and neuroscience has revealed how the habit of reducing complaints actually affects our bodies and brains.
The most representative concept is neuroplasticity, the powerful remodeling ability of our brain.
Our brains can rewire and redirect neurons to create new pathways of thought.
Additionally, because the brain rewires itself periodically over time, simply choosing not to complain about past struggles can create a shortcut to positivity.
In other words, simply practicing 'living without complaining' for 21 days can increase happiness and break the pattern of negative emotions related to complaining.
Psychologists call this "subjective well-being," and the numerous testimonials in this book are proof of it.
No matter what your life has been like so far, over 15 million people are already experiencing better health, happier relationships, more meaningful social activities, and a vastly increased sense of well-being.
Remember that you too have the opportunity and the right to live a wonderful life.
The beginning is to stop complaining.
Will Bowen's Message to Korean Readers
“I am honored to be able to share my new book with Korean readers.
I would also like to express my gratitude to the 100,000 Korean readers who have been reading “Living Without Complaining” for a long time and have joined the Zero Complaints Challenge.
I personally chose Taekwondo as a method of training and meditation, and have been training my mind and body for a long time.
Today, I look at the Taegeuk symbol on my shoulder, feeling connected to Korea and Korean readers.
The Koreans I've met and interacted with so far have been strong, proud, hard-working, and a light that illuminates the world.
I also knew very well that complaining never helps you pursue health, happiness, or success, and that complaining about life doesn't make it any better.
Dear readers, as I revise this manuscript, I want to share new research findings, a variety of case studies, the destructive nature of the habit of complaining, and clearer ways to stop complaining in ourselves and in those around us.
Remember, the opposite of complaining is gratitude.
Complaining focuses only on what is lacking, lacking, and wrong.
But gratitude focuses on what we have now, on what is positively affecting us right now.
To live a happy, loving, and successful life, you need to build a solid foundation for your life based on what you already have rather than what you lack.
As we spend less time complaining, our minds will naturally shift toward gratitude, and this shift will connect us more closely to the abundance of the universe.
Until the good fortune of meeting you in person comes, I hope you will live a life free from complaints, always happy and healthy, and that good fortune will overflow.
I hope to visit Korea soon and give a lecture in front of you in person.”
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: April 15, 2024
- Page count, weight, size: 316 pages | 424g | 140*210*18mm
- ISBN13: 9788984072442
- ISBN10: 8984072443
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