Relationship power
 |
Description
Book Introduction
The birth of Korea's Robert Greene!
Highly recommended by cognitive psychologist Professor Kim Kyung-il
“Do not depend on anyone, and do not try to control anyone.”
“It’s interesting no matter how many times I read it.
“It’s amazing how such insight is possible.” _Kim Kyung-il (cognitive psychologist)
This book, based on Adler's statement that "all humans strive for superiority" and the dopamine effect that proves this, seeks a clear answer to how to deal with the conflict of desires for improvement that arise in human relationships.
The author's diagnosis is that many people who cannot satisfy their desire for self-improvement try to vent it in their relationships with others, and this is where numerous problems arise.
The frequent controversies over bullying and the problem of malicious comments can ultimately be attributed to the distorted expression of a desire for improvement that cannot be resolved on one's own.
This is often because they did not develop a secure attachment in their first human relationship, with their parents. However, the author argues that this problem can be overcome and relationships strengthened with effort.
The author not only presents various cases and research results to make his argument more persuasive, but also reveals his own personal wounds and pain, and even reveals his past failures in forming relationships.
Therefore, this book can be said to be a self-reflection piece written by the author, as well as a book that contains alternatives for building healthy relationships with others.
A fascinating insightful human relations psychology strategy book that suggests that the key to a good relationship is to be able to stand alone.
“In fact, the core message of this book is simple.
Let's be kind to people.
Calm down.
Let go of your expectations of relationships by finding your true calling.
Let's get rid of the insecure attachments hidden deep in our hearts.
Let me empathize with others first.
“Let us live as seducers and propose without fear.” _From the text
Highly recommended by cognitive psychologist Professor Kim Kyung-il
“Do not depend on anyone, and do not try to control anyone.”
“It’s interesting no matter how many times I read it.
“It’s amazing how such insight is possible.” _Kim Kyung-il (cognitive psychologist)
This book, based on Adler's statement that "all humans strive for superiority" and the dopamine effect that proves this, seeks a clear answer to how to deal with the conflict of desires for improvement that arise in human relationships.
The author's diagnosis is that many people who cannot satisfy their desire for self-improvement try to vent it in their relationships with others, and this is where numerous problems arise.
The frequent controversies over bullying and the problem of malicious comments can ultimately be attributed to the distorted expression of a desire for improvement that cannot be resolved on one's own.
This is often because they did not develop a secure attachment in their first human relationship, with their parents. However, the author argues that this problem can be overcome and relationships strengthened with effort.
The author not only presents various cases and research results to make his argument more persuasive, but also reveals his own personal wounds and pain, and even reveals his past failures in forming relationships.
Therefore, this book can be said to be a self-reflection piece written by the author, as well as a book that contains alternatives for building healthy relationships with others.
A fascinating insightful human relations psychology strategy book that suggests that the key to a good relationship is to be able to stand alone.
“In fact, the core message of this book is simple.
Let's be kind to people.
Calm down.
Let go of your expectations of relationships by finding your true calling.
Let's get rid of the insecure attachments hidden deep in our hearts.
Let me empathize with others first.
“Let us live as seducers and propose without fear.” _From the text
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Entering_I can improve my life
Chapter 1.
The first relationship that made me
Chapter 2.
People who can't become adults
Chapter 3.
A window to see humanity
Chapter 4.
Strengthening relationships
Chapter 5.
The value of empathy
Chapter 6.
The Life of a Seducer
Chapter 7.
Suggest without fear
Chapter 8.
The poison of relationships
Chapter 9.
9 Tips for Improving Your Relationships
Coming out_A reflection paper to forgive myself
Chapter 1.
The first relationship that made me
Chapter 2.
People who can't become adults
Chapter 3.
A window to see humanity
Chapter 4.
Strengthening relationships
Chapter 5.
The value of empathy
Chapter 6.
The Life of a Seducer
Chapter 7.
Suggest without fear
Chapter 8.
The poison of relationships
Chapter 9.
9 Tips for Improving Your Relationships
Coming out_A reflection paper to forgive myself
Detailed image
Into the book
Unfortunately, what has already happened in the past cannot be changed by our will.
Whether it's experiences of abuse, oppression, or the harsh memories of spending each day in tears, the wounds from the past and those memories inevitably live and breathe within us.
Therefore, the most urgent thing to do is to first become aware of the negative personality traits you have.
If you are aware of this and make an effort to improve it, you may actually live a better life than those who lead stable lives.
And you can use the lack within yourself as raw material to bring something valuable to the world.
---From "Even if you become an adult without a secure attachment, page 33"
The true power of a human being is unleashed when he has the ability to be alone.
I will explain in detail later, but in conclusion, 'relationship power' is demonstrated when you have the ability to be alone without relying on anyone.
People who are aware of and enjoy being alone are less easily swayed and can easily push away those who exert a negative influence on their lives.
Only then will you gain negotiating power throughout the relationship and secure more time.
With that time and mental freedom, you can focus more on what you're doing and devote more energy to self-development, including health management.
As time goes by, an individual's charm gradually grows.
---From "Weapons for People with Deficiency, p. 44"
People who have already satisfied their desire for improvement in their own tasks focus on conversations and are curious about the other person themselves when dealing with others.
They usually have a friendly and attentive attitude.
I don't necessarily try to gain the upper hand in a relationship.
Others are instinctively drawn to those who display high social skills.
This is what I mean by 'relationship power'.
Relationship power comes from calmness and equanimity, a state of not relying on the other person and not trying to dominate them.
So, if we are not fulfilling our desire for improvement in our own tasks, we must be aware of this fact and take special care not to use our relationships with others as a channel for venting our feelings of superiority.
---From "Expelling the Distorted Desire for Improvement, p. 98"
This alone is enough to show empathy to others.
In any organization or relationship, habitual responsiveness will become part of our character and make us more valuable and superior.
When you're talking to someone whose heart you want to win, what you need isn't judgment or solutions.
All they want is curiosity and responsiveness about themselves.
That's enough.
Let's not forget that curiosity about others comes from a state of inner peace.
So you have to control yourself first.
---From "Step 2: Curiosity and Response, p. 153"
In the passionate love stage, the action of dopamine is dominant, and in the companionate love stage, the action of present-oriented chemicals such as oxytocin and vasopressin is dominant.
However, if two people share a desire for improvement and grow together, a phenomenon of the two merging appears.
The density of temptation is maximized.
This kind of mutual growth is the height of temptation.
---From "The Ultimate Temptation: Growing Together, p. 190"
Humans do not stop affirming themselves just because they are criticized.
Rather, the more you are criticized, the stronger your defense mechanism becomes to protect yourself, and you only respond to criticism with criticism.
Cases where criticism leads to improvement and growth are extremely rare.
Most people try to prove the insincerity of their accusers or make all kinds of excuses.
This means that we must recognize the ineffectiveness of criticism.
Think of a time when you were criticized.
There may have been many times when hostility towards others increased rather than reflecting on oneself.
So, if you are making it a habit to criticize others in order to change them, you need to stop doing that right now.
Humans are sad beings who have no choice but to live while affirming themselves, and so the more they are criticized, the more they will affirm themselves in reaction.
---From "Criticism That Only Strengthens Others' Defense Mechanisms, pp. 235-236"
I have lived most of my life as a fighter, unable to enjoy the happiness that is everywhere.
I also wasted a lot of time and emotions thinking of myself as the leader and trying to be superior to others.
The result was isolation.
I was so busy talking every moment that I couldn't hear what others were saying.
I was always over-the-top and my ambivalent attachment tendencies were spreading throughout the neighborhood.
So this book is like a reflection on my immaturity.
Whether it's experiences of abuse, oppression, or the harsh memories of spending each day in tears, the wounds from the past and those memories inevitably live and breathe within us.
Therefore, the most urgent thing to do is to first become aware of the negative personality traits you have.
If you are aware of this and make an effort to improve it, you may actually live a better life than those who lead stable lives.
And you can use the lack within yourself as raw material to bring something valuable to the world.
---From "Even if you become an adult without a secure attachment, page 33"
The true power of a human being is unleashed when he has the ability to be alone.
I will explain in detail later, but in conclusion, 'relationship power' is demonstrated when you have the ability to be alone without relying on anyone.
People who are aware of and enjoy being alone are less easily swayed and can easily push away those who exert a negative influence on their lives.
Only then will you gain negotiating power throughout the relationship and secure more time.
With that time and mental freedom, you can focus more on what you're doing and devote more energy to self-development, including health management.
As time goes by, an individual's charm gradually grows.
---From "Weapons for People with Deficiency, p. 44"
People who have already satisfied their desire for improvement in their own tasks focus on conversations and are curious about the other person themselves when dealing with others.
They usually have a friendly and attentive attitude.
I don't necessarily try to gain the upper hand in a relationship.
Others are instinctively drawn to those who display high social skills.
This is what I mean by 'relationship power'.
Relationship power comes from calmness and equanimity, a state of not relying on the other person and not trying to dominate them.
So, if we are not fulfilling our desire for improvement in our own tasks, we must be aware of this fact and take special care not to use our relationships with others as a channel for venting our feelings of superiority.
---From "Expelling the Distorted Desire for Improvement, p. 98"
This alone is enough to show empathy to others.
In any organization or relationship, habitual responsiveness will become part of our character and make us more valuable and superior.
When you're talking to someone whose heart you want to win, what you need isn't judgment or solutions.
All they want is curiosity and responsiveness about themselves.
That's enough.
Let's not forget that curiosity about others comes from a state of inner peace.
So you have to control yourself first.
---From "Step 2: Curiosity and Response, p. 153"
In the passionate love stage, the action of dopamine is dominant, and in the companionate love stage, the action of present-oriented chemicals such as oxytocin and vasopressin is dominant.
However, if two people share a desire for improvement and grow together, a phenomenon of the two merging appears.
The density of temptation is maximized.
This kind of mutual growth is the height of temptation.
---From "The Ultimate Temptation: Growing Together, p. 190"
Humans do not stop affirming themselves just because they are criticized.
Rather, the more you are criticized, the stronger your defense mechanism becomes to protect yourself, and you only respond to criticism with criticism.
Cases where criticism leads to improvement and growth are extremely rare.
Most people try to prove the insincerity of their accusers or make all kinds of excuses.
This means that we must recognize the ineffectiveness of criticism.
Think of a time when you were criticized.
There may have been many times when hostility towards others increased rather than reflecting on oneself.
So, if you are making it a habit to criticize others in order to change them, you need to stop doing that right now.
Humans are sad beings who have no choice but to live while affirming themselves, and so the more they are criticized, the more they will affirm themselves in reaction.
---From "Criticism That Only Strengthens Others' Defense Mechanisms, pp. 235-236"
I have lived most of my life as a fighter, unable to enjoy the happiness that is everywhere.
I also wasted a lot of time and emotions thinking of myself as the leader and trying to be superior to others.
The result was isolation.
I was so busy talking every moment that I couldn't hear what others were saying.
I was always over-the-top and my ambivalent attachment tendencies were spreading throughout the neighborhood.
So this book is like a reflection on my immaturity.
---From "Coming Out - A Reflection on Forgiving Myself, p. 262"
Publisher's Review
The pursuit of superiority is a human instinct.
All relationships are a clash of desires for improvement.
Author Kim Dan's "Relationship Power" is a psychological strategy book that teaches you how to restore relationship power based on Adlerian psychology and the workings of dopamine.
To convey this vividly and persuasively, the author goes beyond presenting theoretical grounds from the latest brain science and psychology, and confesses and reflects on his own past awkwardness in relationships.
As an adult, he felt extremely anxious about everything and was swayed by relationships without having a stable attachment.
Unable to sit still and alone, I blindly relied on unqualified people and struggled to always be superior in my relationships with friends.
I spoke provocatively and acted excessively to prove myself to others, and as a result, I was unable to form natural and stable relationships.
He comes into contact with Adlerian psychology, which states that 'all humans strive for superiority', and finally understands the root cause of his failed relationships.
I realized that because I couldn't relieve my desire for improvement through my own tasks, I tried to release it through my relationships with others.
But no one gives you more recognition than you want.
Because other people are just too busy dealing with their own desires for improvement.
The author was able to find a simple solution to the problem by looking at the nature of human relationships through the lens of 'pursuit of superiority'.
It is not about relieving the desire for improvement through relationships with others, but through one's own tasks.
So, if you find something meaningful and engaging, set goals there, achieve results, and become a better person than you were yesterday, most relationship problems will naturally be solved.
Paradoxically, when you have the strength to be completely alone, you can also restore your relationship strength.
The author clearly states that this book is his own reflection, and he hopes that it will be of practical help to readers who are anxious, suffering from inferiority complex, or experiencing difficulties in their relationships with others.
More fundamental than Baltasar Gracian,
More realistic than Dale Carnegie
There are classics about human relationships that are still loved by countless readers even after all this time.
Books by Baltasar Gracian and Dale Carnegie are representative examples, offering brilliant insights that penetrate the essence and provide tips that can be applied directly to our daily lives.
Kim Dan's "Relationship Power" humbly challenges the stronghold of those classics.
In particular, this book is full of more realistic and fundamental prescriptions needed in Korean society, where comparisons with others are so transparent.
The author, who diagnoses the problem and suggests solutions based on Adlerian psychology and the latest brain science theories, goes a step further and suggests the keywords "empathy," "seduction," and "suggestion" as techniques for living the life you want.
It shows how these three technologies can completely transform our lives and how we can acquire them.
Moreover, all of this is conveyed through fascinating examples and a refreshingly powerful writing style, making it a truly enjoyable read, enough to be read in one sitting.
Cognitive psychologist Professor Kim Kyung-il said, “It’s interesting no matter how many times you read it.
He highly praises the book, saying, “It’s amazing how such insight is possible,” and recommends it to readers.
In this way, the author succeeded in satisfying his desire for improvement through the task he found: 'writing.'
If you're curious about the results of his life's work writing self-help books based on the humanities, open this book right now.
You will find that the assessment that “Korea’s Robert Greene has been born” is by no means an exaggeration.
Getting what you want from the other person
The Secret to Living as a Confident Seducer
The author says that a lot can change just by first empathizing with others.
You can make the other person completely your ally by recognizing and welcoming the other person's very existence, responding appropriately with curiosity, making an effort to find similarities between you and the other person, and providing support and encouragement by listening to their concerns.
And let's not forget that all of this begins with briefly shutting our busy mouths, a privilege only available to those who can listen to the other person's story.
The author also encourages readers to live as seducers.
Because the one who seduces has a much greater psychological advantage over the one who is seduced.
The ability to live as a seducer and get what you want from others is also a social skill.
The important thing here is not to cling to sincerity or authenticity, but to create appropriate tension and give the other person time to invest emotionally in you.
And the temptation that begins with the action of dopamine progresses over time to companionate love based on trust and stability. The author suggests that we should not be satisfied with this, but rather pursue the ultimate in temptation through 'growth together.'
And the last thing the author emphasizes is a suggestion.
Only those who are good at making suggestions have a high level of life satisfaction because they secure an environment in which they can live the life they want.
Proposals are not a difficult skill at all, as long as you understand the formula for successful proposals: context and consideration.
Ultimately, if you want to develop your relationship skills, you must first learn how to live as your whole self.
Only those who can stand alone can empathize with others, seduce others, and make suggestions with consideration for others.
All relationships are a clash of desires for improvement.
Author Kim Dan's "Relationship Power" is a psychological strategy book that teaches you how to restore relationship power based on Adlerian psychology and the workings of dopamine.
To convey this vividly and persuasively, the author goes beyond presenting theoretical grounds from the latest brain science and psychology, and confesses and reflects on his own past awkwardness in relationships.
As an adult, he felt extremely anxious about everything and was swayed by relationships without having a stable attachment.
Unable to sit still and alone, I blindly relied on unqualified people and struggled to always be superior in my relationships with friends.
I spoke provocatively and acted excessively to prove myself to others, and as a result, I was unable to form natural and stable relationships.
He comes into contact with Adlerian psychology, which states that 'all humans strive for superiority', and finally understands the root cause of his failed relationships.
I realized that because I couldn't relieve my desire for improvement through my own tasks, I tried to release it through my relationships with others.
But no one gives you more recognition than you want.
Because other people are just too busy dealing with their own desires for improvement.
The author was able to find a simple solution to the problem by looking at the nature of human relationships through the lens of 'pursuit of superiority'.
It is not about relieving the desire for improvement through relationships with others, but through one's own tasks.
So, if you find something meaningful and engaging, set goals there, achieve results, and become a better person than you were yesterday, most relationship problems will naturally be solved.
Paradoxically, when you have the strength to be completely alone, you can also restore your relationship strength.
The author clearly states that this book is his own reflection, and he hopes that it will be of practical help to readers who are anxious, suffering from inferiority complex, or experiencing difficulties in their relationships with others.
More fundamental than Baltasar Gracian,
More realistic than Dale Carnegie
There are classics about human relationships that are still loved by countless readers even after all this time.
Books by Baltasar Gracian and Dale Carnegie are representative examples, offering brilliant insights that penetrate the essence and provide tips that can be applied directly to our daily lives.
Kim Dan's "Relationship Power" humbly challenges the stronghold of those classics.
In particular, this book is full of more realistic and fundamental prescriptions needed in Korean society, where comparisons with others are so transparent.
The author, who diagnoses the problem and suggests solutions based on Adlerian psychology and the latest brain science theories, goes a step further and suggests the keywords "empathy," "seduction," and "suggestion" as techniques for living the life you want.
It shows how these three technologies can completely transform our lives and how we can acquire them.
Moreover, all of this is conveyed through fascinating examples and a refreshingly powerful writing style, making it a truly enjoyable read, enough to be read in one sitting.
Cognitive psychologist Professor Kim Kyung-il said, “It’s interesting no matter how many times you read it.
He highly praises the book, saying, “It’s amazing how such insight is possible,” and recommends it to readers.
In this way, the author succeeded in satisfying his desire for improvement through the task he found: 'writing.'
If you're curious about the results of his life's work writing self-help books based on the humanities, open this book right now.
You will find that the assessment that “Korea’s Robert Greene has been born” is by no means an exaggeration.
Getting what you want from the other person
The Secret to Living as a Confident Seducer
The author says that a lot can change just by first empathizing with others.
You can make the other person completely your ally by recognizing and welcoming the other person's very existence, responding appropriately with curiosity, making an effort to find similarities between you and the other person, and providing support and encouragement by listening to their concerns.
And let's not forget that all of this begins with briefly shutting our busy mouths, a privilege only available to those who can listen to the other person's story.
The author also encourages readers to live as seducers.
Because the one who seduces has a much greater psychological advantage over the one who is seduced.
The ability to live as a seducer and get what you want from others is also a social skill.
The important thing here is not to cling to sincerity or authenticity, but to create appropriate tension and give the other person time to invest emotionally in you.
And the temptation that begins with the action of dopamine progresses over time to companionate love based on trust and stability. The author suggests that we should not be satisfied with this, but rather pursue the ultimate in temptation through 'growth together.'
And the last thing the author emphasizes is a suggestion.
Only those who are good at making suggestions have a high level of life satisfaction because they secure an environment in which they can live the life they want.
Proposals are not a difficult skill at all, as long as you understand the formula for successful proposals: context and consideration.
Ultimately, if you want to develop your relationship skills, you must first learn how to live as your whole self.
Only those who can stand alone can empathize with others, seduce others, and make suggestions with consideration for others.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Date of issue: July 26, 2023
- Page count, weight, size: 268 pages | 366g | 140*210*17mm
- ISBN13: 9791193235010
- ISBN10: 1193235014
You may also like
카테고리
korean
korean
![ELLE 엘르 스페셜 에디션 A형 : 12월 [2025]](http://librairie.coreenne.fr/cdn/shop/files/b8e27a3de6c9538896439686c6b0e8fb.jpg?v=1766436872&width=3840)
