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Book Introduction
A book that acts as a breakwater to protect you from the waves of emotion!
The author of this book, Hideki Wada, is one of Japan's top psychiatrists and a bestselling author whose books have sold over 10 million copies.
As an authority in the fields of mental health and psychology, he provides the easiest and most effective healing methods to patients as well as general readers.
This book, "Don't Live Today with Yesterday's Feelings," which sold 600,000 copies in Japan alone, originated from the following question that the author thought of while treating people who had difficulty regulating their emotions.
“Why do people ruin their entire days by being swayed by emotions that only last for three minutes?” I felt so sorry for people who were wasting their lives struggling with emotions that could be easily resolved if only they knew how.
So, the author has compiled the know-how he has acquired over his life into this book so that anyone can easily manage their emotions.
It is impossible to avoid feeling negative emotions such as worry, anger, and anxiety.
However, anyone can easily shake off negative emotions through the practice of 'letting go of emotions.'
This book contains the author's groundbreaking yet practical methods, learned through counseling countless people for over 40 years.
The book explains professional techniques discovered from a psychiatric perspective in an easy-to-follow, everyday way, so that anyone can put them into practice immediately after reading it.
By reading this book, you will not only learn how to wisely manage the flow of emotions, but also learn to heal the pain accumulated deep within your heart and approach life with a lighter heart.
- You can preview some of the book's contents.
Preview
index
Chapter 1: The Art of Not Being Swayed by Emotions
Don't take the bait thrown by others.
If you leave your emotions alone, they will subside.
You have to push away bad emotions to build up good emotions.
Focus on what I can change
The greater the expectation, the greater the disappointment.
There is more than one way to reach your destination.
Chapter 2: The Art of Dealing Gracefully with Rude People
The reason I get angry without knowing it
Other people are also tolerating me.
Don't let your feelings become your attitude.
Sometimes the right words hurt more
Don't argue with people who are on different levels.
Pride doesn't feed you
Don't hold back your anger, let it flow.
The 'magic words' that instantly stop arguments
It's easier if you take a step back
Even a smiling face can make you angry
Don't argue with someone you can't communicate with.
In the end, the indifferent win.
Don't take responsibility for other people's feelings.
You have to take care of yourself first before you can be generous to others.
Chapter 3: The Art of Cutting the Tail of Thought
Don't feed your worries
Think only of what you can do now
Look outside your mind
When the body moves, the mind moves too.
The 'Anyway' Rule for Lightening Your Butt
The 'First' Law to Refresh Your Mind
Life doesn't go as planned.
Don't let your emotions get stuck in one place.
When you feel depressed, meet someone.
Don't believe every thought that comes to mind.
If you sense malice, let it go.
There's nothing you can't do if you open your heart.
Chapter 4: The Art of Living Lightly
There's a fine line between maturing and rotting.
The smarter a person is, the less certain he or she is.
Don't divide the world into black and white
Don't try too hard to do well
Clumsy people are happier
Remember that everything passes.
There are no unconditionally good or bad people.
I feel better when I don't make any decisions.
The presumption of innocence is necessary in human relationships as well.
Don't think of me as an enemy just because I think differently.
3 Signs Your Heart Is in Danger
The '80 Percent' Rule to Lighten Your Life
Chapter 5: The Art of Staying Calm in Any Situation
Everyone experiences minor panic attacks.
Don't write the worst-case scenario
You can always get back up again
Find a solution when you are in pain
The "For Now" mindset that helps you regain your composure
If he charges like a bull, step aside slightly.
If you expect 100 points, you'll be upset even if you get 90 points.
No action, no change.
Remembering failure takes you away from success.
Don't trust your life to mathematical probabilities.
Look at myself through the eyes of others
Chapter 6: The Art of Acting Without Hesitation
What cannot be changed, leave alone.
It's always me who's blocking me
Eliminate the word 'if' from your life
It's always better to do something than not to do anything.
If it works out, great, if not, then don't worry about it
Just do as much as you can
There are no right answers in life, only choices.
Once you try, anything will be solved.
If you want to know the result, try it first.
Life is a series of small tests of courage.
Chapter 7: The Art of Not Worrying Over Little Things
If you accept it positively, there is nothing you cannot do.
You are stronger than you think
Don't apologize more than necessary.
It's okay to show weakness sometimes
Don't guess what other people think.
Nothing changes just by thinking about it.
Happiness and unhappiness are in my hands.
The mind also needs ventilation
After the rain, the sun always rises.
Epilogue
Detailed image
Into the book
Just as we are beings who cannot help but feel emotions, our emotions are also beings who cannot help but become calm if left alone.
Accepting the waves of emotion as they are is the wisest way to avoid being swept away by them.
--- p.25
Even if you try to empathize and understand, there will be people with whom you cannot communicate.
They are the type of people who have a very low level of thinking and believe that they are always right.
The most effective way to deal with such people is to not try to empathize with them or try to use logic, but to simply ignore them.
--- p.52
It is important to let go of anger as it happens.
If you suddenly get angry because your pride is hurt or if you just suppress your anger, you will continue to live with unpleasant feelings.
However, if you manage your anger calmly without looking down on the other person or dwelling on rude words, the unpleasant feelings will soon disappear and you will be able to go about your day with a peaceful mind.
--- p.60
Basically, we must remember that it is difficult for us to change other people's feelings or emotions.
Especially negative emotions like anger, hatred, and doubt will never go away, no matter how hard I try.
In fact, it may even amplify that feeling.
--- p.74
Being disappointed in the results and feeling bad is ultimately because of the thought that 'it has to be perfect'.
Freed from the pressure of having to plan everything perfectly, you won't be so easily offended if things go a little awry.
In other words, if you want to have a good day, you should avoid making overly detailed plans in your mind.
--- p.96
What should you do when you sense malice in someone's words? The answer is simple.
It's best to just let it go and not dig into it.
It's hard to tell if the other person really meant it badly, and the more I think about it, the more it just makes me feel bad.
--- p.108
In the first place, it is impossible to divide people into ‘good people’ and ‘bad people.’
No matter how likable someone is, there's bound to be something about them that you don't like.
Conversely, no matter how much you hate someone, there may be aspects of them that you surprisingly get along well with.
After all, there are no completely good or completely bad people in the world.
--- p.131
To get rid of unpleasant feelings, you must start by letting go of the thing that made you feel unpleasant.
Instead of dwelling on it and letting it make you feel worse, try focusing on something else.
Instead of dwelling on a stressful situation or someone's rude comment, focus on what you can do right now.
--- p.172
As we live, we all experience negative emotions at least once.
There are times when I get so depressed that I just stay home, or when I get so anxious for no reason that I can't get anything done.
There are times when I'm so tired of human relationships that I don't want to meet anyone.
That doesn't mean we're always stuck in those unpleasant feelings.
When something unexpectedly good happens, even people who were sad will soon start smiling and rejoicing.
Publisher's Review
The author's emotional management bible that captivated 10 million readers worldwide.
Japan's top psychiatrist, Hideki Wada, has generously included in this book the emotional control know-how he has acquired through a lifetime of research and experience.
In Japan, it has already become a hot topic as a groundbreaking method of managing emotions, selling 600,000 copies and setting a record as an Amazon bestseller for 10 consecutive years. It has received rave reviews from Japanese readers, saying, “It is not rigid psychology, but a practical solution that anyone can put into practice in their daily lives.” The Korean dictionary review board also did not spare its praise, saying, “It is a book full of refreshing advice.”
This book presents practical methods for modern people who are short on time to quickly and easily shake off unpleasant emotions.
It covers a wide range of emotions, from the depressive feelings I feel alone to the subtle conflicts that arise in interpersonal relationships, so it's no exaggeration to say that it contains almost all the advice needed to live a normal life.
Additionally, it is written in a user-friendly manner so that anyone can easily read it, so even a quick glance will allow you to immediately apply the emotional management secrets of a psychiatric expert to your own life.
If you want to escape the negative emotions that haunt you all day long and return to a comfortable daily life, open "Don't Live Today with Yesterday's Feelings" right now.
All emotions will subside if left alone.
Telling someone who is angry, “Don’t be angry anymore!” or telling someone who hates you, “Think of me in a positive light!” rarely makes things better.
Most people just vent their anger and rebellion, or they end up hating me more.
So, what if, on the other hand, we just let that person's emotions go? In just 30 minutes, the person who was angry might be scratching their head, wondering, "Why did I get so angry?" And the person who hated me might see my calm demeanor and think, "Maybe I'm not such a bad person after all."
This is the basic nature of emotions.
If you leave emotions that come like waves as they are, they will eventually subside.
So what we need to do is not to suppress the negative emotions themselves, but to acknowledge them and resolve them by saying, "That could happen."
As I practice the emotional management methods this book teaches and deal with the negative emotions that come my way each day, those emotions will gradually disappear, and the small joys around me will begin to come into view one by one.
As the saying goes, “You can’t be happy every day, but there are happy things every day.” When we turn away from unpleasant emotions and find more happiness, our lives will become much more peaceful and lighter.
If you take care of yourself first, you will be more generous to others.
Just because someone has difficulty regulating their emotions doesn't mean they're always swayed by them.
There are days when I don't care even when I see someone who would normally make me feel bad, and there are also days when my boss at work is being unreasonable and demanding about my work, and I just readily admit it, saying, "That's not wrong."
Why do these exceptional circumstances arise? If you reflect on the emotions you've experienced so far, you'll likely discover that you were able to be more generous to others when you were "at peace."
When you're in a good mood that day or things are going smoothly, you naturally feel more relaxed and less swayed by other people's words and actions.
Emotions can change like this depending on 'what is my current state of mind'.
Ultimately, if you want to manage your emotions well and maintain good relationships with others, you must first take care of your own mind.
But we tend to overlook this fact and only look for the cause of our bad mood in the other person.
So, there is never an answer, and the anger and resentment towards the person who does not consider me only grows.
If you find yourself getting irritated every time you see someone, follow the guidelines in this book and first check your mental state.
No matter how calm and affectionate a person is normally, if their mental brakes break down, they will go wild.
Let's remember.
Managing emotions starts with ‘managing my mind.’
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