When a child does not listen to their mother and only asserts their own opinions, they are often referred to as being 'stubborn' or 'throwing a tantrum.'
However, from a developmental perspective, this means that the child has a strong self-concept and a firm will.
However, because their ability to express themselves is immature, they express it with definitive words like “I don’t like it” or “I won’t do it”, or with extreme actions like banging their head on the ground.


The problem is that children at this age may be able to express their opinions, but their thinking and discernment skills are lacking.
This is not something a child can do on his own.
Only when the brain is developed and a certain level of cognitive and emotional maturity is achieved can one develop rational arguments.
Therefore, when a child is being stubborn, rather than judging from the parent's perspective, we must first consider the child's position as he or she is still in the process of growing.
Rather than focusing on the stubbornness itself, we should focus on finding the hidden motive behind the stubbornness.
As time goes by, children will naturally learn to be considerate of others and will naturally let go of their stubbornness.
If this process is not followed, the child may grow up to be an adult who cannot properly express his or her own opinions.
---From "The child is stubborn"

First, the purpose of scolding is not to forcefully stop a child's behavior, but to teach the child the rules necessary for living in the world as a parent.
Then, rather than yelling at the child and scaring him, you can kindly explain the rules so that the child can understand them better.
It is also true that only by doing so can children listen to their parents.

Second, create preventative measures with your child to prevent the same mistake from happening again.
When an older child hits a younger sibling, first understand that the older child is jealous of the younger sibling and then say, “I guess you’re hurt because it seems like your younger sibling is loved more.
But you shouldn't hit your younger brother.
He suggests an alternative, saying, “If you ever get angry, hit this doll.”
This allows the child to release his emotions without having to do anything wrong.


Third, you must listen to the child's story first.
Before correcting a child's misbehavior, it is important to understand why the child did so and address the root cause.
Then, it is better to speak simply and easily, rather than speaking too long and rambling.
Also, never compare your child to other children when talking.
This can actually be counterproductive as it can cause feelings of inferiority or jealousy in the child.


Fourth, you must agree with your child in advance on what to do and what not to do.
The child is not yet familiar with everything.
We need to let them know in advance how to act and help them.


Lastly, never scold your child in a crowded place.
Even adults have a hard time enduring shame in public, so how much harder must it be for children?
The attitude of 'what would a child know' is very dangerous.
The shame and humiliation that arises at this time may cause you to rebel even more, and you may even commit bigger mistakes in your rebellion.

---From "Please teach me how to scold properly"

I speak strongly to parents.
“There is nothing more dangerous than watching television alone at a young age.
“If you don’t want to make your child stupid, don’t let him watch TV from now on.” According to the results of an American study, children who watch more than three hours of television a day have significantly lower reading skills.
Because we spend a lot of time watching television, we have relatively little time to receive and acquire other stimuli, such as reading or writing.
Also, children who are raised on one-way media do not like to think.
They only like to see and hear with their eyes, and they hate to think with their heads and express it in words.
If you don't like it, you won't do it, and if this kind of life is repeated, it will also cause problems with language development.


Language development occurs through the process of communicating with others, and you cannot learn proper language by just passively watching and listening.
Especially for children under 3 years old whose brains are developing rapidly, watching videos can cause learning difficulties.
According to the 'Television and Video Guidelines' published by the American Academy of Pediatrics, indirect exposure to visual media during childhood is not good for brain development.
They also say not to show it at all to children under 2 years old.
At this point, I think it's easy to get the idea of ​​showing videos to children for educational purposes.

---From "My child can't live without a television and a smartphone"

When parents ask me about early childhood education, I tell them straight up:
'Education before the age of six is ​​just a hobby for mom and dad.'
Children under the age of 6 have not yet developed cognitive abilities, so education is not effective, and there is no guarantee that education received at that age will have an impact when they grow up.
While it is true that children's brains have tremendous potential between the ages of 0 and 3, it is not true that their brains can be developed with just a few teaching aids.

The human brain develops sequentially over a certain period of time.
This is easy to understand if you think of it as lights coming on from the first floor of a tall building.
Think of the human brain as a building where the lights on the first floor must be on before the lights on the second floor can be on, and the lights on the second floor must be on before the lights on the third floor can be on.
The lights have finally come on on the first floor, so what can I do in a dark third-floor office without any electricity?
Therefore, it is useless to blindly stimulate the brain with flashy teaching materials when it is not ready.

Moreover, there is a risk of side effects.
The severity of the side effects can be seen simply by looking at the increasing number of children seeking pediatric psychiatric care due to problems caused by early childhood education.
Regardless of the field, the thing that doctors worry about most when prescribing medications is side effects.
No matter how good a medicine is, if it has fatal side effects, I would never use it.
Likewise, careful parental judgment is required when choosing a teaching aid.
---From "Are teaching materials and tools that are said to be good for brain development really effective?"

If a child who is only three or four years old is too concerned about his mother's feelings, tries to please her, and tries to take care of his siblings, then there may be a problem.
This means that it is not the time to feel at ease and think that he is a good child.
Children who form healthy attachments with their primary caregivers by age 3 are more trusting of the world, better able to resolve conflicts with others, better able to make friends, and more resilient in difficult times.
However, if an insecure attachment is formed due to parental depression or inconsistent parenting style, problems may arise in the development of social skills.


Especially when the mother is depressed or under severe mental stress and has no time to care for the child and is absorbed in her own problems, the child will try to take care of the mother even though he or she is not capable of doing so.
If a child continues to psychologically care for an adult like this, a role-reversal attachment relationship is formed.
On the outside, the child may seem excessively obedient and always acts to help his or her younger siblings or mother, so he or she is called a filial son or daughter, but psychologically, the child cannot be considered healthy.


Therefore, if a child who is only three or four years old is trying too hard to please his parents and take care of his siblings, it is necessary to check why he is not relying on adults and throwing tantrums appropriately like a child.
If the mother's depression is severe and she is becoming dependent on her child, she should seek treatment for depression quickly.
So, we need to make sure that the child does not feel burdened.
If your child continues to care for someone even after your treatment for depression is over, you should support your child by consistently asking and sending messages like, “What do you really want to do?” so that he or she can do what he or she wants.

---From "I'm always looking out for my mom and trying to help her"