prolog.
4th Grade: Time to Rethink Your Role as a Parent

Chapter 1.
In 4th grade, my child started to change.
For mothers who are afraid of accelerated puberty
A child who goes astray during puberty, a child who grows during puberty
Why Adolescents Behave Problematically
6 Principles for Dealing with Children Entering Puberty
You can't be a good parent if you don't learn and work hard.
[A Counselor's Practical Know-How] Parents' Attitudes to Adolescent Sexuality

Chapter 2.
There's a reason for every behavior a teenager has.
I don't want to talk to my parents.

I keep telling lies without realizing it.
When I get angry, I feel like I'm going crazy
A child who bullies, a child who is bullied
I'm just a nobody
I want to be loved too.

[Counseling Teacher's Practical Know-How] Parents' Attitudes to Responding to School Violence

Chapter 3.
There are bad parents, but no bad children.
Parents who solve everything
Parents who ignore their children's feelings
Parents with a comparative disease
A father who only disciplines his child
Parents obsessed with their children's success
Parents who abuse their power as parents
[Counselor's Practical Know-How] The 10 Most Hurtful Words to Say to Teenagers

Chapter 4.
Parents' self-esteem becomes their children's self-esteem.
I wanted to be a good parent
Am I the kind of parent my child wants?
The inheritance of misfortune is more frightening than debt.
Every problematic family has a scapegoat child.
The work of looking into and healing wounds
Children form a picture of the world through their family relationships.
[Counselor's Practical Know-How] The 10 Things Your Adolescent Wants to Hear Most

Chapter 5.
4th Grade: How to Plan Your Child's Career
A child who has nothing he wants to do or become
Children with different temperaments and personalities from their parents
We need a process to find our true dreams.
Parents who plan their children's career paths are at risk.
[A Counselor's Practical Know-How] Dialogue Methods for Resolving Adolescent Academic Conflicts

Chapter 6.
The Little Secrets of an Extraordinary Family
Practice sending your children away every day
Change happens when you accept your emotions.
Know how to tolerate your child's failures
Focus on the strengths, not the weaknesses
Be a mentor parent, not a problem solver.
[A Counselor's Practical Know-How] Nonviolent Communication Methods to Boost Self-Esteem in Adolescents

“No child suddenly changes one day.”
4th grade: A time to learn a new role for parents.

In the fourth grade, the children began to change.
Physically, height and weight grow noticeably, we are exposed to various media such as the media and the Internet, and our brains begin to undergo extensive remodeling.
During this period, children are sensitive to their peers, undergo physical changes, and face the stress of having to meet academic and performance expectations.
Children begin to behave differently as they adapt to the changing environment, but their parents still treat them as children.
In this way, the gap between parents and children grows wider and wider, and when they reach middle school or high school, an incident that they can no longer cope with often occurs.
Moreover, it takes a lot of time and effort to bring about behavioral changes in middle and high school students.


Compared to middle and high school students, elementary school students' problem behaviors are not as serious and they are more flexible, so there is a high possibility of change with just a little help.
This is why parents need to prepare for their children's puberty starting in the fourth grade of elementary school.
When children reach puberty, they instinctively prepare to become independent from their parents and stand on their own two feet.
You cannot understand them unless you know the developmental tasks of adolescence and that their basic emotion is 'fear'.
Discovering the emotions behind your child's behavior and offering empathy and support can be the key to solving the problem.
The important thing is to build a child's self-esteem.
Self-esteem grows based on attachment to parents, and the secret to healthy adolescence lies in the parent-child relationship.


“There’s a reason for every behavior a teenager has.”
How to Understand the Reasons Behind Your Child's Behavior and Turn It into an Opportunity for Growth

This book contains the know-how and secrets to child education gained by a professional counselor through over 3,000 school counseling cases over 10 years.
It contains vivid examples from counseling children at school as well as detailed experiences of a mother raising three children.
While working as a teacher and counseling so-called 'problem students', the author realized that children's problems originate from their parents and became convinced that 'there are bad parents, but no bad children'.
It's the first time for children to go through puberty.
If parents first recognize their children's fears and understand the reasons behind their behavior, adolescence can become a time of growth rather than a time of missteps.


This book consists of a total of six chapters.
Chapter 1 explains why fourth graders begin to change, what the changes look like, and provides principles for parents to follow as their children enter puberty.
Chapter 2 takes time to understand the minds of children hidden behind common behaviors that occur during adolescence, such as not talking to parents, lying frequently, not being able to control emotions, and having problems with friends.
Chapter 3 examines the role of good parents by looking at children who become so-called “problem children” due to their parents’ poor parenting style.
Chapter 4 identifies family self-esteem as the most healthy way to survive adolescence, and explains how to achieve healthy self-esteem in a situation where parents' self-esteem is passed down through generations and becomes the child's self-esteem.
Chapter 5 deals with career issues for adolescent children.
The reason why puberty is important is because children's paths can change significantly as they go through that period.
We teach children how to design a smart career path to live the life they want.
Chapter 6 explains the seemingly trivial but crucial principles of child education.
Additionally, at the end of each chapter, we provide practical know-how from counseling teachers on how to respond to specific everyday situations, such as school violence and bullying, and what words to say to help children.


“Parents’ self-esteem becomes their children’s self-esteem.”
Self-esteem classes for our families that give our children time to prepare for puberty.

We think we know our families better than anyone else, but that may be an illusion.
In reality, many people live without knowing what their parents, siblings, or children are thinking or feeling, and then experience problems or communication breakdowns within their family due to a triggering event.
Behind incidents of bullying or domestic violence at school, there is often a huge obstacle standing in the way: a lack of communication between family members.
Problem behaviors during adolescence do not suddenly appear one day, but are often behaviors that fill needs that were lacking during childhood.
Therefore, establishing a proper relationship with your child before the onset of full-fledged puberty will have a great impact on the child's interpersonal relationships and self-esteem later on.


What kind of parents do children want? When we asked children directly, the answers we received included parents who don't get angry, parents who listen, parents who comfort them when times are tough, and parents who don't nag.
As children grow up observing their parents, they internalize their parents' behavior, character, and values.
Many parents scold their children for misbehavior without thinking about the example they themselves have shown.
How a child will remember their parents when they grow up is entirely up to the parents.
What kind of parent do you want to be remembered as? The choice is entirely yours.