“At any moment you can choose for yourself.”

It's not that I'm happy because the future is bright,
When you choose happiness, your future becomes brighter.
Look at the problems and suffering that have come upon me from a different perspective
The art of the mind that changes the direction of one's life

A Mental Manual Essential for a Happy Life Journey
Dr. Cho Byeok and Dr. Choi Seong-ae, the best education experts and psychotherapy experts
A method of mental and spiritual health that has been researched and spread for over 40 years.

Work issues, relationship conflicts, unexpected accidents... In today's increasingly complex social and economic environment, stress is bound to increase.
People try to relieve stress in their own ways, whether through intense entertainment, hobbies, or successful careers, but these methods fail to resolve the fundamental suffering of life and bring about true happiness.


Dr. Cho Byeok and Dr. Choi Seong-ae, who have been working to spread the energy of healing and hope in our society and to contribute to the growth and happiness of individuals, say, "We cannot change the situation, but there are things we can do."
We all have a moment to choose between the stimulus and the response to stress, and our lives can take on a very different shape depending on the choice we make in that moment.
Will you survive by being caught up in problems or will you grow by solving them?
At that crossroads, we need the courage and wisdom to choose growth.


In their new book, "The Courage to Grow," the authors, who are leading education experts and psychotherapy specialists, aim to teach the mental skills to look into one's inner state and reset the direction of one's life through insights and scientific research and evidence derived from over 40 years of domestic and international education and counseling experience.
It is a method of maintaining physical, mental, and spiritual health and wisdom of happiness to keep one centered and navigate the long journey of life.

What you need to know for the journey of a lifetime

You can drive your car around town or drive in a straight line on the highway without knowing the science behind how a car engine works.
But if you're going on a long road trip across the continent, you'll need to be able to handle simple car repairs yourself.
To do this, you need to have some knowledge of how cars work and their key components.
The same goes for the journey of life.
It is possible to get through an ordinary day without having a detailed understanding of your body, mind, and spirit.
But these days, every single day is often a series of particularly difficult days.
Given these circumstances, having a deeper understanding of the mind and spirit will allow you to better protect your own health.
In this book, we present in detail the mind and mental health methods we have taught and guided students, teachers, parents, employees, and clients over the past 40 years.
---From the "Introductory Note"

“If you’re not happy, you’re not successful.”
The wisdom to live today as a person who has grown a little more than yesterday.

When faced with significant stress, our entire body can become hyperactive in an instant, we lose control, and we can act like animals.
Emotions can occur in 0.2 seconds, the time it takes to blink an eye, and stability can be achieved in 5 seconds, the time it takes to take a breath.
In other words, both collapsing from stress and recovering from stress happen in an instant.
In that split second, depending on how we interact with our bodies, we either maintain our humanity or our animality emerges.
You can regain your composure by taking deep breaths and relaxing your body for 5 seconds.
In this way, deep breathing is a way to separate emotions from actions.

---From "Chapter 2 Body_ From Survival Mode to Growth Mode"

I liken the mind to an Easter egg.
The pictures drawn on the Easter eggshells are the storyline (thoughts) of who did what, when, and where, and the yolk inside the egg is the emotion felt at that moment.
Even now, I often remember the first time I went on an outing with my father when I was little, we stopped at a Chinese restaurant and ate jajangmyeon.
When I think about that thought, I feel again the respect, gratitude, and reassurance I felt for my father that day.
Later in my adolescence, my father seemed shabby, uncomfortable, and sad.
But as time went by, my father became a person I respected and missed in my heart.
In this way, different feelings can coexist within us, even for the same person.
My heart also contains thoughts and feelings about my mother, my wife, and many other people and events.
Some hearts contain positive emotions, while others contain negative emotions.
Of course, you can have both of these at the same time.
With so many minds, it's only natural that we don't know our own.
Because you never know when a certain feeling will appear, your own mind feels fickle and it is difficult to control it.
---From "Chapter 4: The Heart_ The Reason Why My Heart Doesn't Do What I Want"

The best way to escape from suffering is to empty your mind.
But how easy is this? That's why, I guess, second-best options have been recommended since ancient times.
It's meditation.
When I try to meditate, instead of my thoughts disappearing, they keep coming back and troubling me, making me feel even more miserable.
Having found it difficult to practice the first method of escaping suffering, the non-existence of thoughts, and the second method, meditation, I have chosen the third method, the second-best method, and I would like to recommend this method to you as well.
It is about having many good thoughts, that is, having many good thoughts.
Since humans are creatures who think a lot and are good at it, this method is intended to encourage us not to try to restrain that ability but rather to actively utilize it.
This is a way to move the mind by adjusting the thoughts.

---From “Chapter 5: Positivity_ Drop the Anchor of Positivity”

There are two kinds of values.
One is objective value, such as the price of a product on the market, and the other is subjective value.
Subjective value is something that each of us assigns to ourselves.
Someone hands me a 5,000 won cup of coffee.
I can accept that coffee and just say “thank you” to show my appreciation.
But if I looked not only at the objective value of the coffee but also at the heart of the person who gave it to me, I would feel much more grateful.
I am so grateful for the thought that you thought of me and felt that I would like it, so you went out of your way to stop by a cafe, holding a coffee in one hand, walking slowly to give it to me in case it got cold.
In this way, gratitude is something that is ‘discovered.’
Discovery is not something you just see wherever your eyes go, but something that catches your eye when you focus and make an effort.
Discovery is not making up what isn't there.

---From “Chapter 7 Gratitude_Recognizing the Value of Precious Things”

The biggest reason why the problem isn't actually solved lies with us.
Because we don't have a perspective to look at ourselves.
For example, when a couple argues, they blame each other more than themselves; when their children misbehave, they try to correct them; and when they don't like their job, they want to change jobs.
But these things are no solution at all unless you can see yourself.
I must not forget that I am involved in every problem I face.
If my influence is not half, then at least 10 percent of the fights between my husband and I.
I think that parents' influence on their children's troubles is well over half, perhaps as much as 90 percent.
I also need to realize that my workplace is a place where I am involved, so I must have had some influence on the problems that arise there.
If you exclude me from my problems, you will not get a clue to the solution.
Even if I only account for 1 percent of the problem, if I don't change that 1 percent, the chances of changing the remaining 99 percent are low.

---From “Chapter 8 Meaning_ Knowing Myself and Moving Forward to Us”

If we want to be happy, we need to be able to spend most of our time in a state of emotional neutrality.
There are two types of emotional neutrality.
It's indifference and calmness.
Apathy refers to a state of not being able to feel any emotions at all.
Even if someone is next to you, you don't react as if they aren't there.
Even when we eat delicious food together, he doesn't say a word that it's delicious, and even when I buy him nice clothes, he doesn't show any expression.
So it's hard to live with an indifferent person.
If you can't feel emotions, you can't empathize, and if you can't empathize, not only can you not communicate, but it's also difficult to form relationships.
On the other hand, calmness is a state in which one immediately recovers comfort even if one temporarily feels negative emotions due to stress.
As you can see from the emotional distribution chart, this is the image of people who live centered and not swayed by external stimuli in the center where all kinds of emotions intersect.
Indifference is the appearance of a dull person, and composure is the appearance of a dull person.
Maintain composure, not indifference
---From “Chapter 9: Self-Catching the Calm Center Within Me”

Many people view caring for and caring for someone as a sacrifice and dedication.
It's obvious when you just look at the moments of consideration and care.
Whether it is material, spiritual, or emotional, if I give something I have to someone else, it becomes a negative for me.
So, we hesitate and hesitate to step forward in front of someone who needs consideration and care.
If you do this, you will gradually become an immature person who is stingy with consideration and giving.
A dwarf can only see what is right in front of him.
The ability to think and feel outside of a self-centered way of thinking has not yet been developed.
In contrast, the petty person only considers short-term and minor gains and pursues only what benefits him or herself.
The phrase 'mature' means that you have gained the ability to see further ahead and think more broadly.
Adults who realize that everyone is interconnected can make the grand calculation that "what's good for you is ultimately good for me."
Contributing to the benefit of all in this way is Hongik (弘益), and the person who can do so is a great person (大人).

---From "Chapter 11 Community_Becoming a Precious Gift to Someone"