Preface: Why Are We Not Happy?

Prologue: Where Does True Happiness Come From?
What is a happy life?
Focus on myself, here and now.
To elevate an ordinary life to a happy life

Chapter 1 [Acceptance] Actively experience everything as it is.

Acceptance is active affirmation
Let's say "yes" to my life now unconditionally.
How to accept myself as I am
Accepting that anyone can do it - normalization
Affectionate and warm support for me - Validation
Believing that I am a good person - self-confidence
Mindfulness, the practice of staying present in the present moment
The driving force behind a better life: positive experiences
Be grateful for our very existence.
Savor the small joys and happiness of everyday life.

Chapter 2 [Change] Aim to be better than yesterday.

Change is something that gets better little by little every day
Let's make small, concrete changes to our daily lives.
How to Get on the 'Change' Train
Let's start by embodying small habits? Continuity
Spend time on things you enjoy and are good at? Preference
Find your own way to untangle the tangled threads? Method
Experience immersion through moderately challenging tasks.
Do your best every day, little by little.
Immersive experiences bring change.
Don't rush and just get closer to the life you want.

Chapter 3 [Connection] Don't Forget the Value of Living Together

People are happy when they are connected to each other.
The friendly ones survive
How are empathy and affinity formed?
The key to connection is intimacy and care.
True connection requires empathy.
A deep level of connection created by love and empathy
To be happy, first connect with yourself.

Chapter 4 [Strengths] Find your strengths and live your life true to yourself.

Strength is a life map that helps you find your true self.
Development of a strengths scale reflecting Korean characteristics
People are happy when they are good at what they do.
How to silence the intruders and move on
How to Leverage Your Strengths to Be Happy
Find your own light and turn on your strengths.

Chapter 5 [Wisdom] Develop the ability to cope with life's challenges.

Every choice in life requires wisdom.
Wisdom training method reflecting Korean characteristics
Wisdom Training Method 1: Accumulating Abundant Knowledge
Wisdom Training 2: Improving Your Contextual Ability
Wisdom Training Method 3: Raising Relativity
Wisdom Training 4: Tolerating Uncertainty
Wisdom Training Technique 5: Developing a Long-Term Perspective
Wisdom Training #6: Developing the Humility to Acknowledge Great Things
Wisdom Training 7: Empathize and Accept

Chapter 6: Get Out of Your Mind and Live with Your Body

Living well means moving well
If you use your body well and keep it healthy, your mind will be healed.
Good posture creates a good mind.
Know your body and do what makes it happy.
The principles of movement that revive the mind

Chapter 7: Look Beyond Reality to Find Meaning in Life

Spirituality is the ability to transcend myself.
The strength to hold on when life seems to be falling apart
In search of the meaning of existence and a reason to live
You can cultivate spirituality in your daily life even without religion.

Conclusion: A Journey to Find the Light in Our Lives
References
Recommendation

“Why do we think happiness is far away?”
A New Law of Life for Those Who Think Happiness Isn't Theirs

In Chinese characters, happiness is 'a good thing (福) that happens by chance (幸).
The etymology of the English word 'happiness' is 'happen', which means 'to occur, to happen'.
Ultimately, the happiness we know can be interpreted as something like 'a good thing that happens by chance.'
The problem is that those happy moments are different for everyone.
This is why it is difficult to define happiness in a single word or measure it with objective indicators, and for this reason, ironically, the academic world has recently been seldom using the word "happiness" when studying happiness.
Professor Chae Jeong-ho of the Department of Psychiatry at Seoul St. Mary's Hospital says that instead of 'happiness', which varies from person to person in terms of conditions and states, 'well-being' should be considered as the goal of life.
Well-being is literally 'being well'.
A life of self-actualization, where one continuously grows by optimally utilizing the resources within oneself, is a life where both body and mind are healthy.
But most of us don't live a 'well-existing' life.
To be 'well-being', you must first 'be', but most Koreans are not good at 'being', that is, existing as they are, let alone achieving well-being.


Because I have never once in my life learned or thought about what it means to exist.
Professor Chae Jeong-ho adds that the achievement-oriented characteristics that are particularly prominent among Koreans are interfering with their lives.
If you live your life focused on the immediate goals and things you must achieve right away, you will never be able to realize the preciousness of existence, and therefore you will never be able to live a well-being life.
Professor Chae Jeong-ho has given lectures and workshops in over 300 companies, including clinical settings, and has spent extensive time researching the resources that are particularly needed by Koreans, who are achievement-oriented and often face stressful situations.
This book, "The Seven Conditions for True Happiness," is a new version of the research results, previously published as academic papers, reorganized into a popular perspective so that the general public can easily apply them.
If you implement the elements of well-being presented in this book, that is, the conditions for true happiness, one by one in your life, you will find yourself getting closer to a happy life, a life well-lived, even if it may not be right now.


To elevate an ordinary life to a happy life
7 Life Spectra That Lead to Happiness

Professor Chae Jeong-ho, who has spent his entire life meeting people who have lost the light in life, says, “People often think that meeting certain external conditions will make them happy, but in fact, those things have little to do with happiness.”
In particular, he observed for a long time countless people who were unable to escape from mental pain and discovered their common characteristics.
Among them, the characteristics that stand out are summarized as 'having difficulty accepting life', 'not changing appropriately', 'having weak connections with others or oneself', 'not being able to utilize one's strengths and positivity', 'not being wise and not being able to deal with stressful situations appropriately', 'not paying attention to one's body and living in one's thoughts', and 'being overly absorbed in a realistic life'.
Based on this, Professor Chae Jeong-ho derived seven elements of well-being that are especially essential for Koreans, namely, the conditions for happiness: acceptance, change, connection, strength, wisdom, body, and spirituality.
He calls these seven elements, which he has verified in clinical practice and published in a paper, the '7 Spectra of Life.'
Just as the seven colors of the spectrum come together to form bright white light, when these seven elements work well in life, we can achieve true well-being, or happiness.


"The Seven Conditions for True Happiness" is a compilation of these seven elements, which have already been verified in numerous organizations, including clinical settings and businesses, so that they can be more easily applied in everyday life.
In Chapter 1, 'Acceptance', we learn 'how to accept things as they are', which is the most important condition for happiness.
In Chapter 2, we learn about 'change' to create a different self from yesterday, rather than a better self by comparing ourselves to others, and we introduce specific methods to do so.
In Chapter 3, we explore the true meaning of 'connection', or 'relationship', a fundamental human need.
In Chapter 4, "Strengths," we will learn what true strengths are and how to realize and live according to our strengths.
But even if you live life to the fullest, there are bound to be difficult problems hidden everywhere in life that are difficult to solve.
In Chapter 5, "Wisdom," you learn how to deal with difficult problems that have no right answers.
Chapters 6 and 7 then explore ‘body’ and ‘spirituality’ respectively.
One thing that people who have lost the light of life often overlook is their body.
It goes without saying that you cannot expect peace of mind without physical stability.
Also, as we go through life, we come across things that we as humans can no longer do.
The ability to transcend those limits, the ability to transcend myself, is spirituality.
Professor Chae Jeong-ho asserts that these seven elements not only lead an unhappy life to an ordinary life, but are also the conditions for achieving ultimate happiness.
His explanation is that happiness is not about having certain external conditions that have been commonly known, but rather about having and utilizing these seven resources for well-being to achieve a truly happy life.


It's okay as it is now, if it's better than yesterday
What you see when you let go of the standards of perfection

“Instead of constantly trying to do something, you must first learn to stop.” This is what the author often says to people who ask him how to be happy.
Thanks to the social atmosphere that encourages us to believe that happiness comes from endless effort and achievement, we live our lives constantly striving to have something (having) and continuing to do something (doing) to achieve it.
In the book, the author, citing the words of American psychiatrist David Hawkins, points out that our vision of life develops into the dimensions of having, doing, and being according to the evolutionary stages of consciousness, and that Koreans, in particular, live lives filled with having and doing.
It is the illusion that you have to keep doing something to get it in order to be happy.
But he says that the more you try to achieve happiness, the further away it becomes from life.
The same applies when trying to implement the seven elements he presents in the book into your life.
Rather than being obsessed with the idea that you have to do something and pushing yourself, the most important thing is to let go and continue to make small efforts without stopping, 'just, just, happily'.


For example, he advises that when seeking change, one should not strive to be the 'best' but rather live with the goal of 'getting better and better every day'.
Let's break free from the misconception that change is a revolution that overturns everything at once, and the preconceived notion that it will be difficult and burdensome.
His explanation is that if you don't enjoy something, you can never do it consistently.
Also, you should not hold yourself to the standards of perfection.
Rather than blaming yourself by saying, “I tried so hard, but I’m still like this,” you need to have an attitude of acceptance in all aspects, thinking, “I tried hard, but I still need to try harder.”
What we need now is not the determination or effort to do everything perfectly, but to put at least one element of happiness into our lives, even if it is not perfect.
The author says that in itself, it is already well-being, that is, a life well-lived.