A child who hesitates when entering middle school,
What's the problem with Mom's words?

“Why are the grades of a kid who was always 1st or 2nd in elementary school like this now that he’s in middle school?”
This is one of the most frequently asked questions by mothers seeking advice on their children's education.
As you can guess from the question, these children studied quite diligently and achieved good grades until elementary school.
Perhaps the parents' expectations for their children were not small, thinking, 'If things continue like this, S University will be fine.'
But what on earth happened to these kids?

The author, who spent five years immediately after marriage preparing for parenting by reading over 2,000 parenting and education books from around the world, concluded that a child's academic ability depends on their "thinking power."
Unlike elementary school subjects where grades are determined by simple memorization, higher grades require the ability to think critically to understand the ultimate goal of learning and the intention behind the exam questions.
The author believed that as children's thinking skills develop, they will begin to enjoy learning itself and study on their own. He changed all his words and actions solely to develop his children's thinking skills, and as a result, all three of his extremely ordinary children were admitted to prestigious schools.
If you're still yelling at your child to "study!", start by changing your words.
The child will speak first.
“Mom, I want to study!”

When our children were young, they were no different from other children.
My grades weren't particularly good.
But how did these seemingly ordinary children all achieve such excellent grades and advance to top schools? I believe a mother's words are the most important factor in determining a child's academic performance.
The things I said to my children until they turned 12 were the most influential.

--- From "Getting Started_ For Mothers Who Want to Improve Their Children's Study Ability"

Earlier, I said that I raised my children according to a hypothesis I developed after five years of parenting experience.
This was also a hypothesis to cultivate ‘that power’.
At this point, aren't you curious about what that power is? It's the power of thought.
If you just help your child develop the ability to think, their abilities will grow on their own without you having to nag or pester them.
I believed that if I had the power to think, I would do well in school and become a useful person in society.
Based on this hypothesis, I raised three children and proved that this parenting method was not wrong.

--- From "Prologue_ From Anxiety to Confidence"

If you develop the power of thinking, your grades will go up.
This is probably a point that can be readily accepted.
First of all, if you have the power to think, you will be able to properly understand the teacher's class content and even understand the intention of the test questions, so your score will go up.
The ultimate goal of learning is to acquire ‘living knowledge.’
This does not mean just learning, but rather acquiring knowledge that can be applied in real life.
Living knowledge can be acquired not by memorizing the small details and formulas in textbooks, but by devising your own methods for memorizing that knowledge or seriously considering why you should apply those formulas.
As living knowledge accumulates, it is only natural that grades will go up.

--- From "Chapter 1_ The Key is the Power of Thinking"

The exam is already over.
No matter what you, as parents, say about the test results that have already been completed, the scores will not go up.
So, in times like these, rather than scolding them, it is a much wiser strategy to make them think, 'I need to work harder next time!'
So how can we make our children anticipate what's next? The first thing a mother must do is acknowledge their child's efforts.
If your child studied hard until the day before the test, tell them this regardless of their test score.
“I saw you studying so intently yesterday.
“You’re doing well!” This is a way to acknowledge the child’s efforts.

--- From "Chapter 2_ Words that Trash on a Child's Potential"

Do you want to believe your child will excel in anything? The best way to do so is to start with the formalities—with words.
Take a look at what you usually say to your child.
Do you often say things like, "Anyway...", "I can't do it.", "No way." These are words that come from a lack of trust in your child.
Instead of saying things that are just a habit, why not try saying things like, "As expected!" "You can do it!" "It's okay." It's okay if you don't mean it at first.
Even when you have little confidence that your child will do well, try saying words of confidence.
If you develop this habit, you will find yourself looking at your child positively and believing in him or her.
--- From "Chapter 3_ Words that Increase a Child's Self-Esteem"

There are a lot of 'commands' in the conversation between parents and children.
If you look closely at the phrase “I have to do my homework,” it is actually an imperative.
Whether children or adults, humans hate being ordered around by others.
Because following orders is an action that is done under duress because someone else told you to.
So, rather than making them follow orders, we need to make them move on their own.
How can I get my child to move on his own? Asking questions to your child can be very effective.
A statement like “Are you going to do your homework or not?” is a question in form but a command in content.
Because you can't say 'No' anyway.
Therefore, we should avoid 'closed questions' that inevitably lead to a 'Yes' or 'No' answer.
Instead of asking, “Are you going to do your homework or not?” ask, “When are you going to do your homework?”
Then, even children who had never thought about homework before will remember that they have homework and start thinking about when they will do it.

--- From "Chapter 4_ Words that make children think for themselves"

When trying to move from knowing to understanding, the most effective way is to explain the problem in your own words.
Because only when you fully understand something can you put it into words and explain it.
Since explanation is about expressing and speaking at the level of your understanding, if you don't understand, you can't help but talk nonsense.
So, if you try to explain it directly, you can understand the content clearly.
Can you use these methods at home? Absolutely.
You can have your child take on the role of teacher, and then ask the mother to become the student and teach him.

--- From "Chapter 5_ A mother's words that make her child study"

Doing several things at once is a great way to develop your ability to organize things.
Because the ability to determine the order of things to do is something that is essential for human survival.
I believe that this ability is the standard that distinguishes between those who are good at their jobs and those who are not, not only in school but also in society.
If you cultivate and practice the ability to establish order from childhood until you enter society, you can maximize efficiency in whatever you do.

--- From “Chapter 6_ A Mother’s Words for Raising a Child”