prolog.
The desire to destroy the world, the desire to care for the world

Part 1.
The Phenomenology of Monster Parents
1.
The Birth and Origin of Monster Parents
2.
What Monster Parents Claim
3.
Characteristics of Monster Parents
4.
Characteristics of children with monster parents
5.
A socio-psychological analysis of the emergence of monster parents
6.
The cognition and beliefs of monster parents

Part 2.
Poisoned Love: Why Parents Become Monsters
1.
Self-hatred and self-pity
2.
Pathological narcissism and infantile omnipotence
3.
Excessive anxiety, trauma, and 'curling parents'
4.
Integration and coexistence of parents and children
5.
Fear of rejection and exclusion, and a sense of victimization
6.
The Price of Sacrifice and Conditional Love
7.
Finding a target for blame

Part 3.
Suggestions for a Social Solution to the Monster Parent Phenomenon
1.
Before the suggestion: The process of creating monster parents
2.
The monstrous transformation of society and what is lost in the process
3.
Some suggestions for social solutions

Epilogue.
Children who escaped the idolization of their monster parents and the aftermath
A story of gratitude and promise
Notes and References

The 'Seo-i-cho' incident brought to light the serious crisis facing our education system.
A series of tragic incidents led teachers to take to the streets.
What's shaking schools and classrooms today? This book by psychiatrist Kim Hyun-soo, an expert on social trauma, a guardian of teachers, and an interpreter of children's hearts, diagnoses the core of the problem as the "monster parent phenomenon" and proposes urgent and timely solutions.

The expression 'monster parents' originated in Japan.
In July 2023, in a strikingly similar incident to the Seoicho incident in South Korea, a 23-year-old new teacher at a public elementary school in Shinjuku committed suicide after being harassed by a parent in June 2006.
In Japan, this incident sparked the recognition of the "monster parent phenomenon" as a social problem, and research began on parents who make unreasonable demands and file malicious complaints against teachers.


The author reports that a similar phenomenon has been appearing in earnest in Korea since the mid-2010s, and analyzes cases and research on monster parents in Japan and Hong Kong to dissect the 'monster parent phenomenon.'


“I don’t have enough pictures of my child, so please go on another school trip!”
The scars left by twisted love on schools and society,
Tracing the Origins and Psychology of "Monster Parents"

The cases of monster parents in Japan and Hong Kong, and the so-called "true parents" in our country, are so self-centered that they defy common sense.

“My child wants to be an idol, so don’t let him sit by the window.”
“My child got sunburned while on a field trip. Please help restore his skin to its original condition.”
“There is a child in my child’s class who doesn’t get along with my child and doesn’t want to go to school. Please transfer that child to another school.”
There was even an incident where, after complaining about a photo taken after a school trip, the student filed a complaint with the school and received an apology from the teacher, asking the student to go on another school trip.
In Japan, these parents who demand teacher replacement for trivial reasons and drive teachers to social death through filing complaints, threats, and lawsuits were called “teacher attack squads” and “teacher hunters.”

The behavior of some parents in our country, who we commonly call ‘true parents,’ is no different.


Call me on the phone late at night.
“Teacher, please make sure to praise me at least once a day.
“I heard your child didn’t get any praise today?”
I marked a mistake in the dictation and went to the principal's office.
“Don’t slash the child, it will hurt his feelings.”
On the first day of the new semester, a child is absent and a parent calls the school.
“Have you fixed our child’s seat? Towards the front.”
When a child is not invited to a friend's birthday party.
"Why wasn't my child invited? Please make sure he or she is well-informed about his or her peer relationships."
Let's discipline the child who swears.
“Have you ever thought about why your child swears?”
When a child is identified as a perpetrator of school violence, a text message is sent citing child abuse laws.
"You know what, teacher? What on earth did you do? Should I go to the school like other fathers and make a mess of it?"

Why and for what purpose do these parents engage in such bizarre behavior? Where do these parents originate? The author synthesizes the opinions of various experts and his own clinical experience to clearly analyze the psychiatric, psychological, and social backgrounds that give rise to the emergence of monstrous parents.


You shouldn't drive your parents into monsters.
however,
No one should destroy schools and communities with poisoned love.
You can't leave it alone

In Part 1, the author introduced the main characteristics and origins of the monster parent phenomenon, and in Part 2, he begins to analyze the distorted psychology of monster parents in earnest.
Understanding the psychology of these parents is key to solving this problem.
By adding his own research and insights to the work of scholars who have primarily explored this issue, such as New York University psychologist Michael Eigen and Japanese psychiatrist Tamami Katada, the author analyzes the psychological structure of monster parents from seven major aspects.


First, there is the self-hatred and self-pity that the parents themselves have.
There are parents who idolize their children due to a distorted psychology that stems from not being recognized by their parents or not meeting their expectations.
Also, the childish sense of omnipotence and pathological narcissism that should have been broken as the child grew up are the main psychological mechanisms of monster parents.
Parents' expectations that their children can do it because they did it, and the conviction that they will do better because they are in a better environment are also the things that children of monster parents find most difficult.
The author also analyzes the various psychological factors that make up the inner self of monster parents, such as excessive anxiety, trauma, and the desire to make sacrifices, to help us understand them.


For the sole purpose of creating a classroom where students can learn and teach without worry.
To stop being a monster parent and move towards social solutions

Although the author delves into the psychology of monster parents, he never reduces it to a problem of a deviant individual or to a problem of a specific individual.
Rather, I am more concerned about the social system that triggers such a distorted psychology that turns ordinary citizens into monster parents.


The social atmosphere that causes parents to become monsters, such as the slow change in patriarchal culture, the absence of a social system that supports childcare, excessive competition for study, the obsession with success, and the tense atmosphere of each person living for themselves due to the shrinking community, are also common factors in East Asian regions such as Japan, Hong Kong, and Korea, where the phenomenon of monster parents has appeared.
In the final part of Part 3, the author criticizes the process of ‘monstrization of society’ and rediscovers what we have lost in the process.
We also propose specific measures to address the social problem of monster parents.


"The Birth of a Monster Parent" is a book filled with the earnest hope that the sorrow of the classroom will not remain a school problem, but will lead to social solutions and positive changes in the community.
Would monster parents, while destroying others, truly nurture their own children? The book concludes with a narrative of the profound pain and aftereffects of children raised by monster parents. It starkly reminds readers of the choices we must make now to stop becoming monster parents.