introduction
Even though I didn't know I would live in a world like this

Part 1: Relationships: Inviting Others in an Age of Distrust

Earthworms don't like rain.
That person must have been lonely.
How to Love with MBTI
"If you refute, you're right." Is this communication or a lack of communication?
What's Hidden in "Me?"
Fighting the old man inside me
A contemporary sense of what violence is
The cruelty of 'it's all your choice'
The lower limit that must be maintained as a human being
Another Background to the Literacy Crisis
Intention, the mind of the other
Breaking the cycle of life
If you ask me why I became a lawyer
The joys and sorrows of a test taker and the desperation of love
A person like porcelain
Is marriage 'perfection'?
A harsh marriage on one side
Sensitivity compatibility
The Practice of Faith in Resolving Dilemmas
The sea called 'here and now' that my child taught me
There is nothing that is expected of parents.
Beach Girl

Part 2: The Age Without Maps: How to Avoid Being a Spectator

An unprecedented society
Between Misery and Perfection: The Age of Bipolar Divide
Envy, jealousy, and deprivation
Beware of the culture of venom
Why duality is a concern
A system for creating squid games
Where did the stolen time go?
Timetable that defines failure
Laziness is not the problem
Hyper-realistic comedy
Ghosts watching
The pressure of collectivism
Supreme Court ruling defending 'individuals'
The right to rest, a self outside of work
From experience to material consumption
Fading romances
The Fall of the Era of Cost-Effectiveness
Doubting the happiness that money brings
Excessive evaluation and attention
For a society where no one is king
The world of civil law
In the face of the cost of chance

Part 3: Breakthrough and Recovery: Crossing the World We've Broken

When going through a time of betrayal
When the curtain is lifted, ruins are revealed.
When a Taekwondo gym closes, a flood of women take a break from their careers.
The sadness of seeing children's sadness
South Korea is a huge no-kids zone
Where to go and where to lean on
There is no wisest choice
The power of freedom given by appropriate restraint
If you do it, you'll do it
The answer that the shortcomings have found
Weapons I Didn't Know About Before Studying Law
A happy life and a worthwhile life
Against the obsession with happiness
Dopamine and Overindulgence
The moment of liberation, Epiphany
Writing that saves me
If you don't read books, do you mean you won't read articles?
To endure the vehement malice with the exact kindness
Distrust feelings
Self-efficacy from others
Time flows with space
Parting with an empty bag

Talking to Others in an Age of Distrust

Part 1 of this book, "Relationships: Inviting Others in an Age of Distrust," examines aspects of a society rife with hatred and animosity, and explores whether there are ways to connect meaningfully and healthily with others.
For example, he points out that the MBTI personality test's unwavering popularity can sometimes be used as a tool to understand others, but can also be an 'active way to not love' others.
When we don't want to know someone deeply, we tend to confine them to a specific framework, fixating them as someone who no longer deserves careful consideration. The author's insight, which goes beyond the scientific basis of the MBTI and delves into the depths of its "craze," is also evident in the youth-friendly phrase, "If you refute me, you're right."
This is usually interpreted as an attitude of 'I just said what I thought, so I have no intention of refuting it if you disagree', which at first glance may seem like an avoidance of argument or discussion, but the real nuance can be more complex.
This is because it can be seen as an appeal to ‘please listen to me even if what I say is not logically perfect.’
According to the author, the younger generation believes that each other's 'differences' should be respected, but at the same time, they fear that their opinions will be rejected.

Meanwhile, it is painful to point out that in our society, the standard of 'it's your choice' has become absolute when it comes to criticizing others.
It is a way of thinking that says, “I don’t need to empathize with you, I don’t have a reason to pity you, I don’t have to worry about you, and I can even hate or criticize you because it is all your ‘choice’” (p. 44).
The author emphasizes that this way of thinking is quite dangerous, as it is rare for a human being to have complete choice over something in life.
It is also interesting to look at the 'literacy crisis', which has been a topic of interest for several years.
The author argues that the reason for this cannot be simply attributed to issues with school education or lack of reading, but also to the influence of the dichotomous oppositional structure that is widespread in the online world.


“Even on YouTube, which is used by most teenagers, videos of sniping between YouTubers are widely spread.
What these sniper videos usually do is divide the forces into friend and foe, generalizing and framing the opposing side, and labeling them as evil.
At first glance, it may seem like a matter of using insight to understand the target's intentions, but the core of this task lies in 'misinterpreting' the opponent's intentions.
(…) In other words, the core of this ‘intellectual activity’ is not to understand the other person’s intentions as accurately as possible.”_pp. 53-54

So how can we resolve the distortions in how we treat others and the immaturity in how we relate to them?
The author encourages readers to find their own way out by drawing on precious moments from his own daily experiences.
The 'method of inviting others in an age of distrust' is reflected in the way to combat the 'dad-like' attitude of talking only about oneself regardless of the interests of others, the skill of trust learned through raising children, and the importance of those who shared difficulties with one during the difficult days of studying for college entrance exams.


Things to Consider When Crossing a Mapless Era

Part 2, "The Age Without a Map: How to Avoid Being a Bystander to Life," provides a more incisive analysis of the reality in which collectivist culture still oppresses individuals despite the collapse of communities on which individuals could rely; the failure of the older generation to invite young people into their lives; the consumer culture driven by endless competition, each for himself, and "the rise and fall of money," and the social atmosphere that is turning into a sand pit due to relative deprivation.
It is particularly interesting that the current Korean society is viewed from the perspective of the 'age of the spectator.'
In a world where individualism has become extremely prevalent and each person for himself has become the truth, group conflicts between generations, genders, classes, occupations, and political forces are becoming increasingly sensitive and serious. In other words, this is about the paradox of groups becoming weaker while group conflicts intensify.
The author points out that in reality, it is the 'bystanders' rather than the 'members' who instigate group conflict.
“Rather than a fight between two groups, it is a realization of group conflict through the work of onlookers defining specific groups.”


“For example, when a mother of a child engages in problematic behavior on the subway, onlookers playfully spread the collective term ‘Momchung’ about her.
A particular incident is not defined as something created by a specific person, but as an attribute of the group of mothers themselves.
(...) The two camps that emerged in this way appear to be in fierce conflict at first glance, but in reality, what is happening is closer to a 'regulation game' for onlookers.
These spectators can move from place to place as much as they want, and when they lose interest, they can just leave the game.
They are not people with a group identity belonging to some place, but rather individualized ghosts who enjoy playing by designating and creating a specific group.”_pp. 150-151

The discussion of 'shisimbi', a term first used by the author in a column several years ago, is still valid.
The term "short-termism" refers to the phenomenon in which satisfaction that can be obtained in a short period of time is valued.
The author says that the trend toward increasingly shorter YouTube video playback times and drama series, the image-centric, time-saving social media culture like Instagram, and the trend toward thinner books with fewer characters reflect the trend toward content centered on poetry.
And it is noteworthy that the importance of timeliness continues to grow among the younger generation, that is, the absence of 'time' implies the absence of 'mental time'.
If you become accustomed to suffering from a lack of physical time, you will not be able to enjoy free time as a 'long time' even if you are given some free time by chance.
The author worries that a life without enough free time can change our mental structure and eventually take over our entire lives.
I believe that the root of this is the endless competition we have suffered from since childhood, the culture that evaluates everything in life based on specifications, and the obsession with growing up while competing with our senses.


"So, who owns the time that has been completely stolen from the younger generation? Who is enjoying the benefits of time? Who is living as a time rich person? Even if you don't know, they must be related to some class that doesn't have to devote time to the competition for survival.
(…) Time is labor and soon capital.
Therefore, we cannot ignore the fact that 'time' is at the core of inequality and polarization in this society.
We live in a society of time inequality._Page 136

Every age has its own despair,

Part 3, "Breakthrough and Recovery: Crossing the World We've Broken," explores the will and attitude we need to keep moving forward without giving up even in a reality that seems to have no answers at first glance. This is deeply embedded throughout the author's personal stories, in addition to the critical perspective maintained in Parts 1 and 2.
First, we examine what vulnerabilities in society have been revealed since the pandemic swept through, or what has been hidden under the guise of a return to normalcy. We then delve into the isolation and disintegration of that time, particularly the deprivation and sadness that growing children have had to endure.
As a father raising a young child, he criticizes the Korean society for its lack of consideration for the socially vulnerable, including children, and says that the Republic of Korea itself is becoming a giant 'no kids zone'.

“Even so, if there is room for even a small part of life to have meaning other than one’s own benefit or happiness, I hope that space will be left open to future children.
Because most of what we enjoy is built on the sacrifices of later generations.
“The ecological crisis, the real estate bubble, polarization, the growing national debt, the depletion of various pensions and funds, and the culture of discrimination and hatred are all like bombs left for future generations.”_Page 218

As the author notes in the preface, there are times when we feel we live in “a time that might be called an age of despair, a world gone mad,” but “on the other hand, every age has its own despair.”
In the end, he confesses that everyone has to pass through such times and societies on their own boat of life, and that he began to think earnestly about such things as 'life jackets', especially after he turned 30 and took on the field of law for the first time.
The fact that I had to study while earning tuition was a secondary issue, and when my child was born during my first year of law school, I began a routine of flipping through law books all night long and feeding formula milk every time the child woke up.
To make matters worse, when his wife returned to work in another region, he suffered from pressure, anxiety, and nervousness every night while he and his child slept together.
During those times, I wrote every single day about the values ​​of life that sustain me, the urgency of living, and the strength of those who hold my hand and move forward.


“The same thing happened with my first job in life.
I was worried about whether I could do well, but I just kept running around and asking people questions every day, getting pointed out dozens of times, and still running around, so I was able to learn diligently and adapt.
People are always caught up in 'ideas' before doing anything.
There are many times when we are unable to take a single step forward because we are caught up in prejudices, preconceptions, and fears about something.
But when you actually get into it, when you actually face it, you somehow manage to do something, but after it passes, you wonder what all the fear of that time was.”_Page 235

In a world of frustration and cynicism, especially in an era where the frustration and cynicism of "youth" have become the norm, the sharp and calm writing of this young writer, father, and newcomer to the legal profession, who never turns away from positivity and faith in life, will bring to mind the poet's age-old adage, "Even if life deceives you, do not be sad or angry," anew in an age of hatred and division.