Peppermint 007

Author's Note 266

The cool, bitter scent of grass spread.
The memories of that day have come back to me today.

Sian drinks peppermint tea every day.
It's for my mother who has been bedridden for several years.
Six years ago, after Xi'an's family was infected with the infectious disease 'Proximo', his mother never recovered and became in a vegetative state.
The emotions that plague Si-an are diverse, from the inability to give up on her mother, who shows no signs of improving, to the pain of caring for her, to the guilt that suddenly comes over her when she suddenly feels bored.

What will Si-an's feelings be when he meets Hae-won, who was like family to him since childhood, but has since contracted an illness and disappeared? Embracing a whirlwind of emotions he can't quite put into words, Si-an lies about her mother's recovery and meets Hae-won. As she meets, Si-han smiles and feels affectionate, as if "back when she was twelve." But when he listens to Hae-won's worries about college entrance exams and her boyfriend, he realizes that their situation is inseparable.


“You don’t know how I feel, chasing sleep away from the fear of what will happen to my mother if I blink and do something wrong.
After I started observing Haewon's tight schedule from an observer's perspective, I realized how out of touch I was with the world.
“I became disillusioned with my future, thinking that I might never be able to keep up with the progress of ordinary people until I die.” Page 71

But even Haewon, who seems to be living an ordinary life, has deep anxiety.
Even the joke about 'transmitting illness' startles him, and he even changes his name to the common name 'Jiwon', but he is always anxious that people will find out about his past.
When Si-an, who knows all about her past, appears, Hae-won's world, which seemed to be barely maintaining balance, is shaken again.
The author delicately follows the emotions of Si-an and Hae-won in this precarious relationship.
The descriptions that capture the tense tension created by the encounter between resentment and lies, guilt and anxiety stand out, and although the two people are in different positions, they make the reader immerse themselves in the story and stay with them.


For us to survive tomorrow
Forgiveness and reconciliation that lead to a brighter place

Sian's peppermint tea is not only a caring tea for his mother, but also a tea that gives the tired Sian "leisure and peace" (p. 190).
“I imagine Lee Si-an in his 20s, Lee Si-an in his 30s, and Lee Si-an in his 40s going back and forth from room to room, emptying urine buckets” (page 211) It is a suffocating reality, but the author urges us not to be too sad despite this through Choi Seon-hee, the mother’s caregiver, and to accept and imagine that caregiving is a time that everyone must go through.


“Don’t be too sad.
We all end up caring for someone eventually.
Unless we live alone our entire lives, it's natural that we eventually take care of someone else.
We too will be cared for by someone.
People all grow old, and when they grow old, they get sick.
Because you can't protect yourself.
“I think you did it a little early.” Main text, pages 191-192

Si-an imagines such a future, and as he shares his fears and sorrows with teacher Choi Seon-hee, he feels a little lighter.
That is why Si-an's words, "If I had time to prepare, I would have definitely said I loved you," are all the more painful and earnest.
Imagining a future that seemed unlikely and unprepared for moves the stagnant city forward.
The reality we face hasn't changed, but we live in the present, remembering the love we shared in the past.
Through this, we discover the next thing we could not have imagined.
For Xi'an, these changes represent growth, no different from the growth we all experience each day.
The author's gaze, observing Xi'an's footsteps as he moves into the sunlight, is warm and affectionate.


The Young Future of Korean Literature
Another growth story presented by writer Baek On-yu

There is a lot of care in the novel.
I take care of my child, my dog, and my mother who has become a vegetable.
And this all boils down to the realization that it's about sustaining someone's life.
In his previous work, 『Amusement Park』, the author looked into the guilt felt by survivors. In this work, he turns his gaze to the place of care that is only visible after the world of ordinary daily life has collapsed.
That is why Si-an's monologue, asking the question, "Did Mom ever feel like her life was wasted while raising me?" (page 121), sounds cold, not unlike the weight of her mother's caregiving.
The importance of care, which becomes apparent only after a gap has been created, touches on the intense concerns of today's Korean literature, which has been questioning the very things that sustain everyday life.
It is noteworthy that the author's sensibility is renewing his awareness of issues by moving from 'recovery and survival' to 'care and life.'
This is a masterpiece that makes us warmly support the author's second step toward a bright future for Korean literature.


From the author's words

Despite the fact that it is a period in the life cycle that most people will pass through, whether long or short, we do our best to avoid imagining the possibility of caregiving.
If, while you are enjoying your ordinary daily life, that day comes without warning, you will be left trembling like a child who has been thrown out into the street in the middle of winter with his shoes taken away.


Can't we imagine one step ahead?
Can't we build immunity through imagination?
So that I can be a little more upright.
I started writing with that in mind, but there were many scenes I wanted to avoid while writing the novel.
While I was writing the novel, I imagined my loved ones falling, getting hurt, or losing consciousness.
Some were barely connected to the world, relying on oxygen respirators.
At the end of my painful heart, there was a selfish fear of, 'Then what should I do? How should I live?'

As we navigated the pandemic, people shared the countless fears that lurked within us, and caring for one another became a thread of recovery.
I want to believe in that heart once more.
If we stop avoiding and share our anxieties, wouldn't we be able to create a world where people can continue their daily lives while protecting those they care about, and where no one is left out?
So I hope this story is read as a story of small hopes, rather than a story of hurt and pain.