Be strong in mind and flexible in life
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Description
Book Introduction
If life is something where you can't see even an inch ahead, Flexibility Techniques Recommended by Psychiatrists “Life becomes easier when you have the mindset that you can change at any time.” Some people have read countless psychology books and attended countless lectures by famous people, but still find themselves with the same problems over and over again. If you find yourself struggling to regulate your emotions, experiencing recurring relationship problems, and struggling with work or daily life, and if the more you try to address these issues, the worse the situation seems to get, what you may need is not problem-solving skills, but psychological flexibility. And “Strong Mind, Flexible Life” is a book that helps increase this psychological flexibility. Psychological flexibility is an essential quality of life for ordinary people living unpredictable lives. It refers to the ability to accept experiences as they are and to continue or change behavior in a way that is consistent with one's values. Until 2021, people would have said that it was foolish not to invest in stocks, looking at the KOSPI index, which was on an upward trend every day. Now, everyone is pulling money out of stocks in a bear market that seems to be going down without end. Besides this, there is nothing in life that does not change, such as family relationships and life values. If it's impossible to fully prepare for life like this, perhaps the best way to live is to practice being flexible at all times. Professor Jeong Du-yeong, a specialist in psychiatry, said, “A fixed mindset that does not see change as it is actually causing problems.” Just as there are different ways to live life, there are also different ways to deal with the problems you face now. Let's become people who can deal flexibly with the uncertainties of life through this book. Life, which has been difficult because things don't go as planned, will become somewhat easier. |
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Preview
index
Just as a stiff body is bad for your health, a stiff mind makes life difficult.
Chapter 1
The moment you lose flexibility, problems start to repeat themselves.
_Finding the hardened mental framework that disrupts the balance of daily life
The indispensable pain of a being seeking the meaning of life
The unexpected pain your body tells you
The moment when the balance of 'working moms' is broken
Could I have adult ADHD?
The real cause of feeling relative deprivation
How Wounds Engraved in the Brain Destroy the Heart
Chapter 2
Accepting my imperfections makes life easier.
_The art of flexibility that remains unshaken even in the face of sudden changes
Life becomes easier when you have the mindset that you can change at any time.
Why can't we get used to life as we get older?
What We Can Learn from Artificial Intelligence
The moment I acknowledge my sensitivity, my life becomes manageable.
The Science of Flexibility for a Good Night's Sleep
Even if your heart hurts, you have to go to the hospital.
There are times in life when you need psychiatric medication.
Chapter 3
The more you practice flexibility, the stronger your mind becomes.
Creating a 'Right Self' in the Form of Various Relationships
You need to be smart about your emotions to get hurt less.
If relationship problems persist, change your mindset.
Three Ways to Protect Yourself from Criticism
You have to be flexible with shame to become elegant.
Accept the various forms of emotion
Chapter 4
The psychology of worldly affairs in various walks of life
_I need to create a minimum boundary to protect myself so that I can see the world clearly.
There's a fine line between empathy and hypocrisy.
Conditions for Healthy Anger and Discontent
There are no perfect victims.
Even if you are close, be careful of emotional contagion.
How do well-off couples resolve conflicts?
Conclusion: The Fundamentals of the Mind for Living Life
Chapter 1
The moment you lose flexibility, problems start to repeat themselves.
_Finding the hardened mental framework that disrupts the balance of daily life
The indispensable pain of a being seeking the meaning of life
The unexpected pain your body tells you
The moment when the balance of 'working moms' is broken
Could I have adult ADHD?
The real cause of feeling relative deprivation
How Wounds Engraved in the Brain Destroy the Heart
Chapter 2
Accepting my imperfections makes life easier.
_The art of flexibility that remains unshaken even in the face of sudden changes
Life becomes easier when you have the mindset that you can change at any time.
Why can't we get used to life as we get older?
What We Can Learn from Artificial Intelligence
The moment I acknowledge my sensitivity, my life becomes manageable.
The Science of Flexibility for a Good Night's Sleep
Even if your heart hurts, you have to go to the hospital.
There are times in life when you need psychiatric medication.
Chapter 3
The more you practice flexibility, the stronger your mind becomes.
Creating a 'Right Self' in the Form of Various Relationships
You need to be smart about your emotions to get hurt less.
If relationship problems persist, change your mindset.
Three Ways to Protect Yourself from Criticism
You have to be flexible with shame to become elegant.
Accept the various forms of emotion
Chapter 4
The psychology of worldly affairs in various walks of life
_I need to create a minimum boundary to protect myself so that I can see the world clearly.
There's a fine line between empathy and hypocrisy.
Conditions for Healthy Anger and Discontent
There are no perfect victims.
Even if you are close, be careful of emotional contagion.
How do well-off couples resolve conflicts?
Conclusion: The Fundamentals of the Mind for Living Life
Detailed image
Into the book
There are many different factors that influence me.
So if you're in pain, you have to look at the context.
If depression persists to the point where it affects your daily life, it may be caused by a specific event, but it may also be the result of a vicious cycle in a specific area where you are vulnerable.
---From "The moment you lose flexibility, problems begin to repeat themselves"
Humans are creatures who ponder the meaning of life, so they cannot help but feel pain.
And because the meaning of life is not something that is given but something that must be found, the time and process of finding the answer are different for each person.
Moreover, unlike in agricultural societies where anyone of any age and physical strength was treated as an adult, in complex modern societies, many people take longer to find meaning in life, have a harder time, and are under greater mental stress.
---From "The Indispensable Pain of a Being in Search of the Meaning of Life"
To adapt to change, it's more helpful to accept what you can't change and let those thoughts and feelings fade naturally.
Embracing change becomes much easier when you discover what is valuable to you and prioritize that over what stresses you out.
Just like standing in line in front of a famous restaurant, I am willing to endure relatively minor inconveniences for the sake of values that are more important to me.
---From "Life becomes easier when you have the mindset that you can change at any time"
If you are having trouble sleeping, the most important thing is to relax your mind.
If you worry too much about getting a good night's sleep before going to bed, you'll actually have a harder time falling asleep.
Even if you wake up in the middle of the night, you should be able to think, "It's okay if I don't get enough sleep," without checking the time.
---From "The Science of Flexibility for Deep Sleep"
If you have never had any difficulties in interpersonal relationships, you may have caused trouble to others without even realizing it or may have forgotten the difficulties you have faced.
Relationship conflicts are something we inevitably face in life, and they are also very difficult to resolve.
Especially when conflicts arise between family members, people find it difficult to even accept that reality.
Because I didn't realize that relationships can change even within a family.
---From "If relationship problems repeat, change your mindset"
Severe emotional contagion can make it difficult to regulate my emotions and disrupt my daily balance.
In extreme cases, helping a friend with depression could lead to you developing depression yourself.
Relationship issues are incredibly diverse and complex, but unless they're extremely urgent, it's best to protect yourself first and only offer your partner as much help as you can.
---From "No matter how close you are, be careful of emotional contagion"
I believe that most problems between men and women are not problems between one man or one woman, but rather the unfortunate result of people who are awkward in interpersonal relationships meeting each other.
In short, it is a mistake to view an issue that should be viewed as an individual-to-individual problem as a male-female problem.
So if you're in pain, you have to look at the context.
If depression persists to the point where it affects your daily life, it may be caused by a specific event, but it may also be the result of a vicious cycle in a specific area where you are vulnerable.
---From "The moment you lose flexibility, problems begin to repeat themselves"
Humans are creatures who ponder the meaning of life, so they cannot help but feel pain.
And because the meaning of life is not something that is given but something that must be found, the time and process of finding the answer are different for each person.
Moreover, unlike in agricultural societies where anyone of any age and physical strength was treated as an adult, in complex modern societies, many people take longer to find meaning in life, have a harder time, and are under greater mental stress.
---From "The Indispensable Pain of a Being in Search of the Meaning of Life"
To adapt to change, it's more helpful to accept what you can't change and let those thoughts and feelings fade naturally.
Embracing change becomes much easier when you discover what is valuable to you and prioritize that over what stresses you out.
Just like standing in line in front of a famous restaurant, I am willing to endure relatively minor inconveniences for the sake of values that are more important to me.
---From "Life becomes easier when you have the mindset that you can change at any time"
If you are having trouble sleeping, the most important thing is to relax your mind.
If you worry too much about getting a good night's sleep before going to bed, you'll actually have a harder time falling asleep.
Even if you wake up in the middle of the night, you should be able to think, "It's okay if I don't get enough sleep," without checking the time.
---From "The Science of Flexibility for Deep Sleep"
If you have never had any difficulties in interpersonal relationships, you may have caused trouble to others without even realizing it or may have forgotten the difficulties you have faced.
Relationship conflicts are something we inevitably face in life, and they are also very difficult to resolve.
Especially when conflicts arise between family members, people find it difficult to even accept that reality.
Because I didn't realize that relationships can change even within a family.
---From "If relationship problems repeat, change your mindset"
Severe emotional contagion can make it difficult to regulate my emotions and disrupt my daily balance.
In extreme cases, helping a friend with depression could lead to you developing depression yourself.
Relationship issues are incredibly diverse and complex, but unless they're extremely urgent, it's best to protect yourself first and only offer your partner as much help as you can.
---From "No matter how close you are, be careful of emotional contagion"
I believe that most problems between men and women are not problems between one man or one woman, but rather the unfortunate result of people who are awkward in interpersonal relationships meeting each other.
In short, it is a mistake to view an issue that should be viewed as an individual-to-individual problem as a male-female problem.
---From "How do well-off couples resolve conflicts?"
Publisher's Review
If the same problem keeps happening
Your real cause may be low psychological flexibility.
Professor Jeong Du-yeong, a professor of biomedical engineering and a psychiatrist at Ulsan National Institute of Science and Technology (UNIST), limits the number of consultations per person to eight, once a week, to provide services to more people, and recommends external treatment if this period is not enough.
During the eight meetings, some people return with the same problem even after their symptoms have improved, while others live without problems even though the incident that caused their mental problems has not been resolved.
Professor Jeong Du-yeong found the difference in psychological flexibility.
Daniel Wegner, a social psychologist at Harvard University, conducted an experiment to prove the paradoxical effect of thought suppression, also known as the White Bear Effect.
Wegner divided the students into two groups and told the first group to think of a polar bear, and the second group not to think of a polar bear.
Then, they were asked to ring a bell whenever they thought of a polar bear. The group that rang the bell the most was the second group that decided not to think of a polar bear.
Uncomfortable feelings or thoughts easily catch our attention.
This is because the human brain's ability to erase feelings or thoughts is not well developed.
If you can't break free from these negative thoughts, you'll run into the same problems and get caught in a vicious cycle.
On the other hand, people with high psychological flexibility do not get caught up in situations and problems, but instead find ways to benefit themselves.
If you're struggling with anxiety, don't just think, "I don't want to be anxious right now," but expand your thinking to, "What do I enjoy doing?"
If you're having trouble with an unreasonable boss, try to keep a reasonable distance from him or her and suggest a compromise to resolve the issue.
Psychological flexibility is a fundamental mindset we must have, as we are not designed to only feel happiness.
Why can't we get used to life as we get older?
“Every action taken to get to know myself is ultimately the answer.”
Professor Jeong Du-yeong discovered in conversations with numerous clients that people who are comfortable in life and do not crumble under any change have high psychological flexibility.
And in “Strong Mind, Flexible Life,” he included specific methods to elevate him.
#1. What should we do with people who exhibit ADHD-like symptoms but don't have ADHD? I ask them, "Why are you doing that?"
"Are you pushing yourself too hard toward a goal that's different from what you want?" "Have you set priorities in life?" _Could I also have adult ADHD?
#2. The starting point for overcoming hypersensitivity is knowing when and in what situations you become sensitive.
If you only become sensitive in your relationships with certain people, you may want to learn about relationship issues.
If you find yourself becoming irritable due to recurring worries, you may need professional treatment.
People often repeat the patterns that made them vulnerable, so if you're struggling, it can be helpful to understand why.
The moment I acknowledge my sensitivity, my life becomes manageable.
#3.
If you are concerned about what others think of you and feel stressed, you need to first identify and accept your desires for how you want to appear.
This is the process of figuring out 'what kind of me I want to be'.
_You have to be flexible with shame to become elegant.
You don't have to do anything spectacular to develop psychological flexibility.
Any action taken to learn about yourself—how to avoid being overwhelmed by negative emotions, what actions make you feel better, what values you pursue—is a way to develop flexibility.
We cannot solve all the problems we face in life like the heroes in the movies.
I'm not saying that you should just accept the situation you're in right now, even if it's not good.
This means that we must develop the ability to actively respond to situations by finding better alternatives or solving problems in different ways, even if they are not perfect.
Let's know ourselves and adapt to changes in others and society.
You will find new solutions to your relationship problems, your anxious feelings will flow away like water, and you will live the life you want.
Your real cause may be low psychological flexibility.
Professor Jeong Du-yeong, a professor of biomedical engineering and a psychiatrist at Ulsan National Institute of Science and Technology (UNIST), limits the number of consultations per person to eight, once a week, to provide services to more people, and recommends external treatment if this period is not enough.
During the eight meetings, some people return with the same problem even after their symptoms have improved, while others live without problems even though the incident that caused their mental problems has not been resolved.
Professor Jeong Du-yeong found the difference in psychological flexibility.
Daniel Wegner, a social psychologist at Harvard University, conducted an experiment to prove the paradoxical effect of thought suppression, also known as the White Bear Effect.
Wegner divided the students into two groups and told the first group to think of a polar bear, and the second group not to think of a polar bear.
Then, they were asked to ring a bell whenever they thought of a polar bear. The group that rang the bell the most was the second group that decided not to think of a polar bear.
Uncomfortable feelings or thoughts easily catch our attention.
This is because the human brain's ability to erase feelings or thoughts is not well developed.
If you can't break free from these negative thoughts, you'll run into the same problems and get caught in a vicious cycle.
On the other hand, people with high psychological flexibility do not get caught up in situations and problems, but instead find ways to benefit themselves.
If you're struggling with anxiety, don't just think, "I don't want to be anxious right now," but expand your thinking to, "What do I enjoy doing?"
If you're having trouble with an unreasonable boss, try to keep a reasonable distance from him or her and suggest a compromise to resolve the issue.
Psychological flexibility is a fundamental mindset we must have, as we are not designed to only feel happiness.
Why can't we get used to life as we get older?
“Every action taken to get to know myself is ultimately the answer.”
Professor Jeong Du-yeong discovered in conversations with numerous clients that people who are comfortable in life and do not crumble under any change have high psychological flexibility.
And in “Strong Mind, Flexible Life,” he included specific methods to elevate him.
#1. What should we do with people who exhibit ADHD-like symptoms but don't have ADHD? I ask them, "Why are you doing that?"
"Are you pushing yourself too hard toward a goal that's different from what you want?" "Have you set priorities in life?" _Could I also have adult ADHD?
#2. The starting point for overcoming hypersensitivity is knowing when and in what situations you become sensitive.
If you only become sensitive in your relationships with certain people, you may want to learn about relationship issues.
If you find yourself becoming irritable due to recurring worries, you may need professional treatment.
People often repeat the patterns that made them vulnerable, so if you're struggling, it can be helpful to understand why.
The moment I acknowledge my sensitivity, my life becomes manageable.
#3.
If you are concerned about what others think of you and feel stressed, you need to first identify and accept your desires for how you want to appear.
This is the process of figuring out 'what kind of me I want to be'.
_You have to be flexible with shame to become elegant.
You don't have to do anything spectacular to develop psychological flexibility.
Any action taken to learn about yourself—how to avoid being overwhelmed by negative emotions, what actions make you feel better, what values you pursue—is a way to develop flexibility.
We cannot solve all the problems we face in life like the heroes in the movies.
I'm not saying that you should just accept the situation you're in right now, even if it's not good.
This means that we must develop the ability to actively respond to situations by finding better alternatives or solving problems in different ways, even if they are not perfect.
Let's know ourselves and adapt to changes in others and society.
You will find new solutions to your relationship problems, your anxious feelings will flow away like water, and you will live the life you want.
GOODS SPECIFICS
- Publication date: August 24, 2022
- Page count, weight, size: 240 pages | 294g | 130*200*16mm
- ISBN13: 9791140700752
- ISBN10: 1140700758
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